“I know you’re angry,” I murmur. “And that you don’t trust him. But I do.”
“Keira—”
“I’m not finished. We’ve been through a lot in the past few days. I’ve gone to hell and back, and he’s been beside me the entire time.”
“That’s what he’s paid for,” he scolds. “I told him to protect you with his life.”
“And he has. Without fail.”
“We can discuss this when you get back—”
“We’re discussing it now.” I add steel to my tone. “We’ve slept together, Cole. We had unprotected sex, which means there’s a possibility I’m pregnant. I could be carrying his child.”
I hear Sebastian’s sharp inhale. Cole’s vicious curse is far louder.
I battle with panic, the overwhelming force threatening to take me down.
“Tell me where you are,” he demands. “I’m coming to get you.”
“No, you’re not. I’m staying here for now. I’ll come home soon. But until I do, I need you to realize this is what I want. He’s what I want. I won’t put up with any asshole behavior once we get back.”
“I swear to God, Keira. Tell me where you are.”
“I’m safe,” I repeat. “That’s all you need to know.”
24
Decker
She doesn’t wait for a reply before disconnecting the call. She doesn’t wait for me to pick my jaw up off the ground either.
She stands there, her arm falling to her side, the cell hanging limp in her hand as her back continues to face me.
“Was any of that true?” My question is barely audible.
“I’m not pregnant.”
The gentle utter of her admission has no effect on me. My mind is rabid. My face seeps with sweat.
“I have a hormone implant,” she admits. “I lied to Cole to buy us some time.” She turns to face me, an apology written in her features. “This way, even if he does learn the truth, he’ll pause long enough to contemplate the repercussions of his actions.”
He’ll pause.
She’s not pregnant.
“You lied to your brother for me?” She’s delusional if she thinks the deception will change Torian’s actions, but still, she lied. For me. “Why?”
“You know why.”
No, I’m pretty sure I’m clueless. Whenever I think I’ve got an edge on this woman, she pulls the rug out from beneath me.
“It’s only temporary.” She wraps her arms around her stomach, hugging herself in a show of such brutal vulnerability I have to fight the need to drag her against me. “Once you leave, I can tell him there’s no baby.”
I nod, strangely wishing the fake story she concocted had a possibility of reality. But like she said, that lie of hers will only buy a pause in time. It won’t stop Cole from gunning me down in the long run.
“What about the rest of the conversation, Tinkerbell? What else did you lie about?”
“Are you asking if I love you?”
Yeah. I am. I just can’t find the fucking balls to open my mouth and say it.
She nibbles her lower lip, her brows pulling tighter by the second as she glances away. “I think I’ve loved you since you stuck up for me months ago. I don’t think anyone could be exposed to your level of protection and care without falling hard, Sebastian.”
Her words cut to my core, her admission slashing deep enough to scar. “So it’s the badassery that won you over, not my sparkling personality?” I paste on a grin, hoping to suck the deep and crazy out of the conversation.
“You’re no badass,” she whispers. “You’re the opposite—A good Samaritan with a frightening death wish, and really inappropriate timing with your smartass comments.”
My grin lessens.
I can feel her fear. I can almost taste it.
“I don’t have a death wish.” I step forward, my feet falling hard against the dirt as she backs herself against the fence, keeping distance between us that I refuse to allow. “Not anymore.” I continue to advance, not stopping until my hips cage hers in place. “I just know what I want and don’t plan to stop until I get it.”
“Which is retribution, right?” Her eyes turn pained. “That’s all you’re focused on.”
“My hopes for retribution are delayed for now.”
“Because I exposed you?”
“No. Because I’m focusing on something more important.” I glide a hand into her hair, holding her possessively, never losing sight of those gorgeous eyes as I bring us chest to chest. “Right now, all I want is to make sure you’re safe. That’s all that matters to me.”
“Why? You’ve made it clear you don’t feel the same way I do.”
“Jesus, Keira.” I close in on her with my free hand, dragging my thumb over the softness of her lower lip. “Who says I don’t feel the same?”
Her face crumples, her baby blues tortured. “You do. In your actions and your plans.”
“You know this has been a fucked up mess from the start, but how can you not see that I’d kill for you? Despite knowing what your father has been doing, I put my life on the line for you. And I’ll continue to do the same, because there is no way in hell I’ll let you anywhere near Richard.”
“This isn’t about him. I’m talking about you not being excited to hear your secret is safe. Hunter didn’t tell Cole. And neither did I. But you never celebrated having more time with me. You don’t care.”
“I fucking care.” I bring us face to face. Almost nose to nose. “But I’ve also gotta keep it real clear in my mind that leaving is the only conclusion here. A few extra days with you is huge, but we don’t get a happily ever after. No matter how badly I want to give that to you.”
“You’re acting as if you’re already gone.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just trying to keep a level head. Your safety is the most important thing here. I can’t lose sight of that.”
“I’m scared you’re losing sight of me entirely.”
I wince.
Truth is, I wish I could lose sight of her. If that was a possibility I’d already be long gone. I would’ve taken my beating from Hunter yesterday and headed for the hills. My inability to let go of Keira is the only reason I’m still here. “I’ll never do that. Not even once I’m gone.”
“I’m going to do everything in my power to change things so you don’t leave,” she whispers against my lips. “I’ll keep lying to Cole. I’ll make that agent who’s blackmailing you disappear. I’ll do whatever it takes, Sebastian.”
“Shh.” I claim her mouth, brushing my lips over hers as she slays my fucking heart. “Let me handle it. I’ll work something out.”
She whimpers, her tongue sweeping mine.
I wish I wasn’t lying. I wish I had faith. But this hole I’ve dug is too deep. You don’t rat on the most powerful crime family in the state and live to tell the tale.
I’m a dead man walking. I can already feel the darkness of damnation.
“Promise me,” she pleads. “Don’t let this be another deception.”
Fuck. She knows me too well. Her insight creeps into the furthest reaches of my mind. She’s a part of me, stealing my secrets and reading my soul.
I kiss her deeper. Harder. With all my fucking heart and determination.
“Sebastian…” Her hand finds my chest, the pressure growing as she tries to push me away. “Please.”
The doomsday clock sounds another tick. I don’t want to betray her again. Not over this.
“Please,” she repeats. “I need to believe this can work.”
“It can.” I lean harder into her, grinding against her pelvis. “We’ll figure it out.”
Lies. All lies. But I’d promise her the world if it meant I’d get to continue hearing those needy little moans that vibrate against my mouth.
I’d do it all.
I’d do everything.
I fall into her. I burn. Every inch of me is attuned to every move she makes.
We’re one.
It’s intrinsic.
Fate.
At least for now.
I drown in her until I can no longer breathe. Long enough for me to pretend I’m someone else. Somewhere else. There’s no approaching detonation. I don’t have to walk away. I’m not going to break her heart. It’s just us. A happy couple, without a care in the fucking world.
“I want to drive back to Portland tonight,” she murmurs against my lips. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
I turn numb. All the pleasure evaporates, leaving me cold and bitter.
“Okay…” I pull away, meeting the determination staring back at me. “But just so you know, I haven’t changed my mind about Richard. You need to let me and Hunt handle it.”
The hand on my chest grows talons, her nails digging into skin. “Don’t fight me on this.”
“I’m not fighting you, slick. I’m keeping you safe.”
Her chin hitches, a wealth of strength building in her features. “No.”
That’s all she says. One word. A single, adamant denial.
She slides to the side, leaving me with a look filled with more force than reason.
She doesn’t understand what she’s asking. There’s no fucking clue behind those gorgeous blue eyes as she leaps the fence and sashays her sexy ass toward the house while I’m stuck dealing with a hard dick and a hollow chest.
I watch her climb the stairs and turn toward the porch railing, Sarah coming outside to meet her. The two of them murmur together, their heads close, their camaraderie a fucking uncomfortable sight.
The last thing Keira needs is a master manipulator at her side. They could take down hell if they teamed up. And I sure as shit don’t want that happening on my watch.
I leap the fence and stride to the house. They stop chatting as I approach, the cease of their Secret Squirrel conversation raising the hair on the back of my neck.
“We haven’t finished talking, Keira.”
She doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t even budge an inch to acknowledge my comment.
“I made sandwiches,” Sarah offers. “Go inside and start eating without us. We’ll join you soon.”
I don’t tear my gaze from Keira, but she doesn’t glance my way. She deliberately refuses, too busy holding the railing in a white-knuckle grip as she glares into the distance.
“Soon,” I repeat in warning. “We don’t have time to fuck around.”
Sarah rolls her eyes. “We’ll be there when we’re ready.”
It’s a subtle fuck you, and I have no choice but to listen.
Instead of planting my feet like my ego demands, I act like a scolded puppy and slink inside to watch them from the other side of the glass-paneled door.
“Are they coming in?” Hunt mutters from his seat at the table.
I close my eyes for the briefest second, begging the holy heavens for strength while I’m stuck inside with this unforgiving motherfucker who could end our ceasefire at any moment. “Not until they’ve annoyed me enough to cause a hemorrhoid.”
“Is Keira okay?”
I shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“She looked fine a few minutes ago when you were groping her against the fence. What did you do to fuck it up?”
I clench my teeth and swing around to swipe my beer off the table, throwing back gulps like I’m dying of dehydration. Hunt’s trying to make me snap, and I refuse. I’m not going to bite. Not until the alcohol numbs the bruises I already have to make way for the new ones he wants to give me.
I empty the can and retrieve another from the fridge. I waste time tidying up the mess Sarah made while creating the pile of sandwiches on the table. I fuck around, trying to play it cool while Sarah taunts me through the glass, frowning at me as she speaks.
I can’t hear what she’s saying, but I can tell it’s filled with annoyance aimed in my direction. Revenge Barbie is getting in Keira’s head, filling her with confidence and misconceptions about slaying dragons and taking over the world.
“Hunt, you better get control of your girl.” I grip the counter and mentally count out my frustration. “She’s starting to piss me off.”
He scoffs. “Bite me. You two were best buddies when we arrived. Don’t come crying to me now.”
I’m still gripping the counter ten minutes later when Sarah walks inside, leaving Keira on the porch.
“What’s going on?” Hunt pushes to his feet. “How is she?”
Sarah grabs one of the empty plates stacked on the table and begins grabbing sandwiches from the platter. “She’s annoyed, which is entirely understandable when someone keeps treating her like a child.”
I see red. My focus fucking glazes with anger. “Those are your words, not hers. She knows I’m not treating her like a fucking kid. Stop filling her head with bullshit.”
“Then stop telling her what she can and can’t do.” She places down the plate piled with food and walks into the kitchen, bypassing my rage-filled position by the counter to open the cutlery drawer. “You’ll never win this fight if you treat her like she’s fragile.”
I slam my palm down on the counter. “Goddamn it, she’s not like you.” My shoulders convulse with my labored breathing. “Killing someone will fuck with her head for the rest of her life.”
“It’s not your choice to make.”
“It’s not yours either. You’ve got no right to weigh in on this.”
“I haven’t done a damn thing. All I’m doing is listening to her vent.” She retrieves a knife and slams the drawer shut.
“What the hell is that for?”
She scowls. “To cut my sandwiches. Is that okay, your highness?”
“Just as long as you’re not using it to stab her in the back again.”
Her lip curls as she stomps to the table. “I never stabbed her in the back, Decker. I said a few things I shouldn’t have, but I’ve apologized, and she’s been decent enough to forgive me. So I’m going to stay out there and chat things out while she’s willing.”
She holds the knife in a tight grip and picks up her filled plate. “Can I have the car keys?” She turns her focus to her fiancé. “I’m going to see if any of the clothes I packed will fit her. She can’t keep wearing that oversized shirt and shorts.”
“Yeah.” He pulls a fob from his pocket and lobs it toward her. “If she doesn’t find anything suitable, I can go for a drive.”
“Thanks, babe.” She turns on her heel and heads for the door, shooting me one last taunting glare before she walks outside and leads Keira from the porch.
I miss the sight of my blue-eyed goddess as soon as she’s out of view.
I don’t know how to fix this shit. Not the issue of her wanting to walk through hell unnecessarily. Or the gauntlet I’m going to face once her brother has my dick in a vise.
There are no easy options. No fucking path of least resistance.
There’s only struggle and torment.
“Did Richard put hands on her?” Hunt murmurs.
I don’t deny the mental images assailing me. I let the picture of Richard’s hands on Keira take over in the hopes it will increase my understanding of her need to face him on her own.
But it doesn’t.
No matter what I think, what I do, I can’t stand the thought of her anywhere near him.
“Yeah.” I stalk to the table and snatch a sandwich from the pile.
“How did they keep it a secret? I should’ve noticed.”
“You weren’t around back then.”
“Back when?” His eyes narrow.
“When she was fourteen.” I take a bite of bread and chew as I watch the avalanche of reality bear down on him.
His jaw sets. His shoulders straighten. “Fourteen?” He raises his voice. “Fucking fourteen?” He shoves back from the table, his chair clattering to the floor. “I don’t fucking blame her for running him down.”
“She didn’t. She paid someone to do it.”
He begins to pace, stalking back and forth.
“Who?”
“The same asshole who shot up the restaurant.”
He stops and swings around to meet my gaze, his face a mask of confusion. “She paid someone to shoot up my engagement party?”
“No. She paid someone to take out Richard, then backed out of the contract. Now the motherfucker is blackmailing her.”
“Who?” he repeats. “How do I find this fucker?”
“I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure it out. Hopefully before Torian gets his hands around my neck.” I hold his gaze, my eyes pleading. “If I don’t get the chance, I need you to promise to take care of him for me.”
“I’m not doing shit for you.” He continues pacing. “But I’ll do it for her.”
“Semantics, asshole.” I take another snap of sandwich, not tasting the food as I swallow.
“No, not semantics. You don’t deserve a damn thing from me, you self-righteous prick.”
Self-righteous?
Self-fucking-righteous?
I return to the regular broadcast of biting my tongue, my anxiety building the longer Keira remains out of view. I slump into a seat and fill my gut despite the lack of hunger.
I don’t want to eat at a time like this. I doubt I’ll ever regain my appetite, but fuel is a necessary commodity. Or it will be once we sort out a plan.
“What did she tell Torian?” Hunt makes a dramatic show of flinging out a chair and sinking onto it. “I assume it wasn’t anything dramatic, seeing as though you ran out there and punished her by shoving your tongue down her throat.”
“You fixate on my love life way too much,” I taunt. “Not gettin’ enough at home, big guy?”
“I get plenty,” he snarls. “At least I did until you fucked up my schedule.”
“A well deserved punishment for trying to gouge my eyes out, if you ask me.”
“You threw the rule book out the window when you started the five-year-old shin kicking.”
“Yeah? What rules are there when it comes to my sister getting raped and tortured?”
He sobers, the bitterness fading from his expression. He lowers his focus to the table, remaining quiet through the thickening discomfort.
“Keira told Torian she’s pregnant,” I say to break the silence.
Decker Page 26