Remember the Knight

by Thomas, Carrie Lynn

  “Fake girlfriend.” I correct him.

  “Yes, that’s right.” He smirks. “Fake girlfriend. Which to be honest sounds like the stupidest thing in the world—Lucas is going to win Brianna back by making her jealous. Not exactly the start of a great relationship.”

  I glance back at Lucas who’s locked in what looks like a pretty intense conversation with Brianna. “She’s an idiot,” I mumble. “Not to see what’s right in front of her.”

  “I know a few of those lately,” Zane says smugly. I glance back to find him arching his eyebrow as he watches the couple across the street.

  I shiver again. “Lucas didn’t leave me the keys. Maybe we could go back in the diner for a second?”

  Zane shakes his head. “You can, but Liz kicked me out. Something about being obnoxious. Besides Adam is on his way to pick me up. You may want to stay clear of him. He’s way too crabby these days.”

  I take a breath, pulling the air into my lungs and finding the courage to ask the one question rattling through my mind. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

  “Because he’s an idiot.” Zane glances down at me. He pulls something from his pocket and holds it up. It’s a ring—a very ugly ring—but still a ring. I shiver as it glints in the sunlight, feeling a wave of familiarity wash over me. I’ve seen this ring before. I know I have.

  Zane hands it to me, pressing the cold metal into my hands and forcing my fingers around it. “Put it in your pocket,” he whispers into my ear. “Do not show it to anybody. It has the answers to all your questions.”

  “I—” He stopped me and presses a finger to my lips. “Just trust me. Those questions in your eyes won’t be questions anymore. Go somewhere quiet, where you can be alone. And say this word.”

  It’s not a word I’ve ever heard before, but I try to commit the sounds to memory. Even as the thoughts in my brain rolled around like marbles. How can a ring have the answers? It’s just metal and stones.

  He disappears before I could ask more, leaving me here still watching Lucas and Brianna engage in what appears to be a very animated conversation.

  I turn the ring in my fingers. Why does it feel so familiar? It’s weight? The grooves? Why did it feel like I had worn it before?

  It has the answers to all your questions.

  How can it have the answers when I’m not even sure of the questions? Yeah, something keeps drawing me here. Adam feels familiar. But it doesn’t make sense—none of it makes sense.

  I look up to see Lucas crossing the street toward the car. Brianna is still in front of the diner, her arm wrapped about her boyfriend. I wonder when he showed up. I pull my hand from my pocket, as Lucas unlocks the door and climbs in. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have left you the keys.”

  “No worries. How did that go?” I ask him.

  “Okay, I guess,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sure you’re right though. About her still loving me…”

  My heart aches at the sadness in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Lucas.”

  “Don’t, please.” He presses his hands to the steering wheel with a thud. “So, what do you want to do?”

  It’s obvious, Brianna is the last thing he wants to talk about, so I’m bring up the one thing I want to. “Can we go back to that beach?”

  “Seriously?” he asks. “You do know that’s where Adam lives? After he treated you—”

  “I know.” I nod. “But I’m not there to see Adam. I want to see the beach again. Please. We’re leaving tomorrow and…”

  “Okay, okay.” He says. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and he won’t be there.”

  Maybe. But a part of me is hoping he will be.

  Chapter Forty

  Adam

  It’s fifteen minutes before I’m pulling up in front of the diner. Zane’s breath clouds the cab when he climbs in, his body shivering as he hugs his hands into his coat sleeves. “Did you wait outside?” I ask him.

  “Liz kicked me out. Guess she didn’t care for my attitude.”

  “I can see that.” I smirk. “I’m not a fan either.”

  “You’re going to be kissing my feet after I tell you what I have to tell you.” He’s nearly bouncing on the seat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Zane so excited.

  I shut off the car. “Get out. You promised you wouldn’t tell me.”

  He tilts his head at me, and smiles. “Fine. I’ll get out of your damn truck, or rather Lucas’ damn truck, but I’m going to tell you something whether you want to hear it or not. I’m betting after I tell you, you’ll change your mind about kicking me out.”

  “I still doubt it. I can’t think of anything you can say that will keep me from dragging your ass out into the parking lot and leaving you here.” I pull the handle on the truck door, cracking it open, a sliver of cold filling the cab. I grab the keys from the ignition in case Zane gets a brilliant idea to lock me out when I go to his side of the truck and pull him out.

  “Well fine, then. I guess I’ll just have to blurt it out.” he says. “Get this. Sage and Lucas aren’t dating.”

  I drop the keys. “Okay, start talking.”

  * * *

  “So, there’s this girl you’ve loved for years and you’ve been pining away for her for the last two years and she shows up practically at your feet, and you act like an idiot? Really?” Zane says for the millionth time. “Why did you act like an idiot?”

  “Will you tell me why her and Lucas aren’t dating? And how you know? And are you sure?” I pull the truck off the main road, headed down the drive. I still haven’t managed to get the story out of him yet.

  “You’re funny, little bro,” he says. “Hilarious. You really should’ve stayed. Sage is just as fun. Actually, she’s even funner—is that a word—than she was before. She’s more fun. That’s for sure.”

  “Will you shut up and tell me what you know?” I clench the steering wheel so hard it’ll leave marks.

  “Fine,” he sighs. “I just want to have a little fun with this.”

  “You’ve had your fun. Now spill.”

  “Okay,” he says, holding his breath with a dramatic pause. I want to punch him.

  “Get to it,” I say through gritted teeth. “Now. Before I pull this truck over and kick you out of it—”

  “Then you’ll never know.”

  “I can ask Lucas.”

  “Fine, Fine.” He sighs. “They’re not dating. It’s a fake relationship sort of thing to get Brianna jealous. They’re just friends. Sage says they kissed once but it didn’t feel right or some crazy thing like that. She’s probably still addicted to your lips but doesn’t realize it. So, go help her realize it, why don’t you.”

  His words hit like a hurricane. The good, the bad spinning inside. She’s not dating Lucas—she’s probably not dating anyone. But that doesn’t change anything. “I can’t risk her life again. She’s happy.” I say.

  “Yes, little bro. She’s so happy she showed up in this tiny little town in search of what she’s missing in her life. That’s how happy she is.”

  “No, she’s not. She’s not damaged. She’s happy in a way I could never make her happy. My Sage was hurt and damaged and killed. Because of me. All because of me. Unlike this Sage.”

  “Well, I’m glad you want to take all the credit,” Zane says. “But I hate to tell you little bro, none of that was your fault.

  “Yes,” I say weakly. “Yes, it all was. I hurt her when I left to go supposedly save a planet. I damaged her every time I didn’t stop what was happening her—every time her mother came home drunk or somebody made fun of her at school or her mother’s boyfriend plowed his fist into her face. And I killed her when I let her come get me—I should’ve never let her come get me. Sneaking into her dreams, making her believe I was alive. It’s all my fault.”

  Zane rolls his eyes. “You are really full of yourself? And I’m the egotistical one?”

  “But it’s true.”

  “It’s bullshit,” he says. “You didn�
��t hurt her when you left—you taught her to live. You didn’t damage her when you didn’t stop the things happening to her—you have her strength to survive them. And you certainly didn’t get her killed. I told her you were alive. I did. And it was a bullet that killed her, not you. And little brother, this is the most important part. She’s not dead. Even better, she’s gotten a life free from the crappy parts. And now she’s here, looking for the missing happy part.”

  “I didn’t save her, you did. And I’m not about to ruin that life she has now.” I whisper as I pull the truck into the drive and shut off the ignition.

  Zane continues “Oh, get over yourself. So, what? You’re not the big valiant hero who died to save her life? Maybe I did it so you’d have a chance to be with her—did you ever think of that? That I wasn’t trying to be the hero.”

  “You didn’t die.” I glance upstairs to see the curtain moving once again. Ugh, I’m going to have so much explaining to do. Disappearing last night, returning this morning, disappearing again, and now I’m sitting here with Zane in the passenger seat.

  “So what?” Zane throws up his hand.

  “You didn’t die. You said I wasn’t the big valiant hero. But you didn’t die. You supposedly thought you would—but you didn’t die.”

  “Yeah. That’s great. But I didn’t know I wouldn’t. I was told I was the weaker one. Laris pushed me to travel through time and save my mother, but when he saw how sick it made me, he stopped pushing me. I always thought he sent me away because I was weak or because I reminded him too much of my mom.”

  “He sent you away because he actually loved you.” The curtain flutters in the upstairs window again. I sigh. How do I explain all of this to her? “I should probably go check in on my mom.”

  “Adam?” He sits up in the seat, his eyes dark and serious. “I’m really sorry about all of this. Laris is an ass and doesn’t deserve a son like you. And I’m really sorry.”

  I ignore the words, but they sink in my chest anyway. Instead, I turn in the seat and focus on him. “What did you see in the other rings that you’re not telling me? I know the whole Laris creating me to die stuff, but what else did you see.”

  “Same thing, lil bro. That’s it. That’s all I saw.”

  “Why don’t you want to tell me? Are you changing your mind about our father? Now that you know the truth—that he actually loved you more—”

  “No,” he says, his voice hard as he turns to me. “No, if anything that makes me hate him more. You don’t get it, do you? You were my little brother and I loved you. Loved you, Adam. I loved—still love you—in ways I never loved him. And to know that he wanted to save my mom by killing you. I hate him even more.”

  The words ache and I lean back into the seat again. “I saw it,” I say softly. “In the ring. I saw you taking care of me and taking care of Sage. I saw the slippers—the ones that were my favorites. You always found them for me. You tucked me in, read me my favorite book. You were always there. I thought dad loved me, and I was wrong. I thought you didn’t, and I was wrong. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you.”

  He sighs. “Adam—”

  “No, really.” I pull the door handle. “I have to go talk to my mom.” Outside of the truck, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cool fresh air and exhaling the weight of the emotions piling on me.

  * * *

  “Mom, I’m okay, really?” I repeat for at least the fifth time. She’s sitting at the counter, sipping coffee, still in that darn bath robe. I’m starting to worry about her. She’s always been so perky and friendly, even during the last two years where I haven’t been able to smile, she hasn’t been able to stop.

  But this morning she looks worn out. Her eyes are dark with wrinkles and she hasn’t smiled once since I walked in.

  “Zane’s here for a visit,” I say quietly. “Just a brief visit. He’s helping me talk through everything—to come to grips with Dad’s death.” I smile, nothing big enough to make her suspicious but big enough to relax her worries.

  She lays her hand over mine. “I’m happy to hear that, Adam. But please, come home tonight. Okay? Don’t be out all night.”

  “I promise. I’ll be home before you know it.” I call over my shoulder as I slide open the glass and jog down the steps. Zane is still waiting for me in the car.

  “So,, mommy dearest is taken care of?”

  “Yes.” I put the keys in the ignition and start backing out of the driveway. “So, now let’s go take care of daddy dearest.”

  “Ha,” Zane says. “You’re looking up to me after all. Who would’ve thunk it?”

  “Okay, get over yourself. Do you have all the rings?”

  “Of course,” Zane says. “I have them right here in my pocket. Where are we going anyway?”

  “To the pyramid—the woods. That’s the only place I could think of that he’d be and I’m ready to get this over with, now.” I pull the truck onto the main road, counting down the miles until the turn.

  “The pyramid?” Zane asks questioningly.

  “Yeah, you know. The one in the woods. Dad always told me that there’s a legend that it was created as a way for a human girl to contact her alien lover.”

  “Laris was full of crap like that.” Zane grunts.

  “I’m not entirely sure Laris was completely wrong about this one.” Only it isn’t some pyramid in the woods, but a beach on Lake Superior.

  The trek through the woods is rocky and I’m clenching my teeth the entire time, hoping Lucas’ truck doesn’t give out on me. I should’ve found a way to convince my mom to borrow her SUV, but it’s too late now. We’re nearly halfway into the woods, when Zane starts fiddling with his pockets.

  “What exactly are you doing?” I ask without taking my eyes off the path. Veering an inch or two off course will mean a collision with a tree.

  “Hmmm,” Zane says. Out of the side of my eye it looks like he’s patting his pockets. “I thought I had them all.”

  “All what?” I ask, a feeling of dread sinking through me.

  “All the rings,” he mumbles as I slam on the breaks. The abrupt stop sends us lurching toward the windshield. “Ow, what did you do that for?” Zane asks.

  “Do you have all the rings, or not?” I ask.

  “Well…”

  “Well what?” I curl my hands in frustration. “Do you have them? Yes or No? Easy question here.”

  Zane squints and lifts his lower lip. “Well, not exactly.”

  I slam my fist against the steering wheel. “Not exactly? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Well, it looks like we’re missing Benji’s ring.” He taps a finger to his chin. “Hmmm now where did I last see that ring.” He’s smirking and I close my eyes. Whatever this is, it’s not good.

  “Where did you see that last ring?”

  “Hmm,” He mumbles. “Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh wait, yeah, that’s where I saw it. On the finger of that pretty little girl. I can’t seem to remember her name though, just that she was in town with Luca—”

  “No,” I scream as the implications of her having the ring began to flash through my mind. “No. You gave me that ring to wear—to see your memories and her memories and oh my god, now she’ll see my memories. Did you give her the word? Did you?” I slam the steering wheel again and lean back in the seat. “No, no, no. This is not happening. It cannot be happening.”

  “Well…” There’s a touch of glee in his voice and I really want to smack it out of him.

  “No. No. I can’t believe this. My head falls back on the seat and I slap my forehead. “I cannot believe you did this.”

  “It’s all for the best, lil bro. You’ll see. Trust me.” He pats my shoulder.

  “No.” I whip his arm off of me. “I cannot trust you. You tell me to trust you all the freaking time, but I cannot trust you. I can never trust you.” I slam him into the passenger side door. “Get out, now. Just get out.”

  “Okay, okay.” He holds up his hands. “No worries. I got
these.” He holds up the rings as he climbs out of the cab. I really couldn’t give a crap what he has right now, because there is only one thing on my mind.

  And that’s turning this truck around and finding her.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Sage

  The truck isn’t in the driveway when we pulled into Stella’s.

  “Why don’t you go say hi?” I tell Lucas. “I just want to go take a few pictures of the lake, if you don’t mind.”

  “I could come with you.”

  “No, really. I’m good. Please. Say hi to Stella. And if Adam comes home, text me and we can make a break for it.”

  He laughs. “Okay then.”

  He disappears up the steps to Stella’s door and I walk along the edge of the beach, my hands stuffed into my jacket pockets while the water dances along the edge of my shoes. It’s warmer today, the bright sunlight filling up the sky. There’s a light breeze that plays with my hair as I stroll casually to the rocks at the end of the beach. I roll the ring between my fingers. He told me to go alone and I know exactly where. I reach the rocks, and climb over them, nearly losing my balance at the top. Once I steady myself, I jumped to the sand below. The beach is empty and there is a part of me that is disappointed. And a part of me that isn’t.

  I pull the ring out of my pocket.

  This holds all the answers. How can it hold all the answers? How could Zane know all the questions?

  Just do it, Sage. Just slip it on. Give it a chance. Believe. I’m not sure where the voice is coming from. It’s me, I think. It sounds like me. But it’s not me.

  I take a deep breath and slip the ring on my finger.

  “Gichiwendam”

  The beach swims before me, like I’ve I drunk too much or opened my eyes underwater. And then like a storm of waves pounds the beach…the images pound me.

  Star Harbor, a dilapidated white house, my dad dead in a plane crash, and strange men kissing my mom who smelt like alcohol and cigarettes. And then I can see me, through a window. I’m walking alone on the beach, fascinated by…myself. They’re his memories. His emotions. The moment he saw me as more than a friend. The moment he wanted to kiss me. The moment he told me the truth about who he was. The moment we did kiss. Thousands and thousands of moments. There’s the hotel with Zane and another girl…Jayme. The one from the planetarium, yet my friend. There’s me dying in his arms. There’s me at the mall with Stella while his heart feels like a blender of heartbreak and relief.