Marked for Love

by Hannah West

  Once they were in the car, Noelle sighed, leaning back in the chair. “She says Samantha didn’t do it.”

  “Of course she did,” Riley said absently. “They always do.”

  Noelle backed out of where they were parked and got on the road. “I think Samantha might have been having an affair with Derek.”

  Riley’s eyebrows raised. “The cousin?”

  “Yeah.” Noelle shifted her hand’s position on the steering wheel. She filled Riley in on what Dahra had said.

  “Interesting.” He seemed thoughtful. “I think it’s something worth looking into. Good job.”

  Noelle didn’t let the smile she felt show on her face - a compliment from Riley was a rare thing indeed.

  Chapter Twelve

  It was two weeks later and Noelle hadn’t seen Sara outside of Loss Meetings. Sara hadn’t even shown up for the second one - it was the first one that Sara had missed since Noelle had started coming.

  Noelle couldn’t help but feel hurt.

  Admittedly, it wasn’t just Sara’s fault that they hadn’t talked - with the Kennedy case moving forward, Noelle had barely slept. Still, they were close - close to something that could make or break her career. She chewed on her thumbnail as she parked. Sara had missed last week’s, which meant she had to come today. Maybe Sara had just gotten busy. She wasn’t avoiding Noelle. Was she?

  When Noelle went inside, down the hall, to the right - the familiar route that she had long learned to despise - she was relieved to see Sara sitting in her normal spot. Last week it had been empty. Noelle was glad no one had taken her spot. It was Sara’s. It wasn’t anyone else’s. If they had to be in these meetings, at least there was Sara by her side.

  “Are you okay?” Noelle asked, her voice low so that others couldn’t hear her.

  Sara turned to look at her, flashed her a quick smile. “Fine.”

  Noelle studied her for a few moments. She didn’t look fine. She looked exhausted. “Are you up to grabbing dinner?”

  Sara glanced at her watch, ran a hand through her shiny black hair. “Not tonight.” Her lips tried to curve into a smile, but it was a half-hearted effort. Noelle wanted to hug her, wanted to hold her. She wanted to make that stress go away.

  “Tomorrow? Saturday?” Noelle felt bad for persisting, but she was going to give it a fair shot. Maybe Sara was just too tired tonight. Maybe she wanted to meet tomorrow, or that weekend.

  Maybe Sara was tired from seeing Clark, a little voice whispered in her head.

  No. Noelle clamped down on it. Sara wasn’t - he was irrelevant.

  “Saturday might work.” Sara consulted her phone. “One of the other doctors at work might need me to pick up a shift. I’ll text you if I can do dinner.”

  Sara continued to look at her phone, not at Noelle, not at the rest of the group. While the latter wasn’t unusual, the first one was.

  “Are -” Noelle hesitated. “Are you upset with me?”

  Sara looked shocked, and Noelle was gratified to see that Sara looked at her. The emotion felt real. “No, of course not.” She glanced around. The room had started to fill up, and soon Michaela would begin the meeting and they would lose any chance of talking. “God, no. Look - we’ll talk on Saturday, okay?” She grimaced, an apology.

  “Okay.” Noelle sat down, wishing she felt more secure in what was going on. It was unlike Sara to be that mysterious, to shut Noelle out like that. Where had the Sara gone that had hugged her, held her, kissed her?

  Maybe she had never existed.

  The meeting dragged on forever, and Noelle stayed lost in her thoughts.

  Once it was over, Sara stood and immediately left the room without a second glance at Noelle. Noelle knew at that point that something was seriously wrong. When Noelle looked around the room, she caught sight of the group leader watching her with a sympathetic expression. Guarded, Noelle watched as she came closer. “Fighting with Sara?” Michaela asked, patting Noelle on the shoulder.

  “Something like that,” Noelle said, trying to sound agreeable instead of evasive.

  “She’s a difficult character to be friends with.” Michaela shook her head, as if that explained everything.

  Noelle wanted to bristle, come to Sara’s defense. But she didn’t want to give herself away. “She has her good points,” she said instead.

  Michaela let out a delicate, lady-like snort and patted Noelle on the shoulder again. “You could do better, dear.” She gave Noelle a knowing look - Noelle was relatively certain that the older lady knew absolutely nothing - and then went to talk to another one of the women present at the meeting.

  Noelle waited until she was back into her car before she let herself roll her eyes. Batty old woman. She didn’t know anything - she couldn’t know anything. She and Sara had been incredibly careful. Surely friends fought just like loved ones. Not that Noelle was really good at friends, not since university.

  She groaned and leaned her head against the back of her car. She was being ridiculous, of course she was.

  Still, she was determined to get to the bottom of things. She was tired of worrying about all of it. Her mind swam and swam and nothing seemed to come out of it.

  They would have dinner on Saturday - not in public, not for this - and Noelle would get the truth.

  Can’t do Saturday - can we do Tuesday? Noelle stared at the text from Sara, and sighed.

  Sure. Your place or mine? That limited the choices. Made them more accessible. She didn’t want to be in public.

  Yours? Sara’s text came back quickly. Where was she? Was she at work? Suddenly Noelle felt like the crazy paranoid ex-lovers that she often ran into at homicide.

  Sounds good. Seven pm, I’ll cook dinner.

  See you then.

  Not even a good-bye, not even a smilie. Nothing.

  Noelle banged her head on the back of her couch and winced. She was getting frustrated over nothing. She would talk to Sara, and everything would work out.

  Or so she hoped. At this rate, she might not talk to Sara for another week or two.

  Tuesday. She would cook, the food would be delicious, and all of her worries would be resolved. Noelle nodded firmly and let herself take a nap before work.

  “This is delicious,” Sara said, smiling slightly at Noelle. “Thanks for cooking. Next time I’ll do it.” She winked. “Or I’ll grab takeout.”

  Noelle let out a laugh. Sara was a good cook, but she was lazy sometimes. “Too much work does that to you,” she said, teasing. She took a drink of the wine from her goblet. She had felt that a little bit of wine would help the conversation, help both of them be honest with each other.

  So far it seemed to be working, at least on her end.

  “How was your week?” Sara asked, talking between bites.

  Noelle shrugged. “Busy as ever,” she said. Not that she could get into details, even if she wanted to. “Yours?”

  Sara made a face. “HIPAA. But it was nasty.”

  Noelle made a sympathetic face. She couldn’t imagine doing Sara’s job, seeing sick and dying children. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “I don’t know how you do your job,” Sara countered with a faint smile. Noelle acknowledged her point. She could do her job, Sara could do hers - they had different strengths.

  “Does it get to you?” Noelle asked. She knew she was avoiding asking what she needed to. She couldn’t ignore Clark any longer. He was likely a threat, and Sara needed to be protected. Besides, she was sure that it was absolutely nothing. “Seeing kids hurting.”

  Sara tapped her fork against the side of her plate, thinking. “You learn to cope. Same way you can deal with homicide.” She shrugged. “Not that it doesn’t hurt - it does.” She shivered, and her face looked so sad that it tugged at Noelle’s heart. “I cry when a kiddo dies. But I try not to take it home with me anymore.”

  Noelle nodded, thinking of Julia from just a few months before. Sara saw that, and worse, every day. “It’s the hardest part.”
r />   Sara hummed her agreement, focusing on her dinner. She seemed - unusually quiet. Not that she wasn’t usually quiet - she was - but it felt more like a thinking quiet. A morose quiet. It worried Noelle.

  It wasn’t until they were mostly done with their dinner, just picking at the leftovers, that Noelle worked up the courage to broach what she had wanted to talk about for most of their time together. “Do you know someone named Clark Debrov?”

  Sara paused. Noelle looked at her, studying her face with what she hated to admit was a clinical intensity. Her reaction could tell almost as much as her words could. “Why?”

  Cautious, careful. She didn’t want to admit to anything more until she knew Noelle’s intentions. That could go either way. Maybe Clark was just a bad memory that she didn’t want to think about. “He’s stalked me a bit, following me to my car at work. Asking about you.” Noelle leaned down, digging into her purse and pulling out the photo. “He gave me this.” She handed it to Sara.

  Sara took it, her hands shaking. It was noticeable, which concerned Noelle. Were the memories that bad? Or was there something else to it? “What did he say to you?” Sara asked, her voice tense.

  Noelle thought for a moment. She hadn’t exactly considered Sara asking many questions. Dumb of her, really. She was a police detective for a reason. “Nothing really too out of the norm. Asking me whether I was with you or not, telling me to stay away from you. He’s only seen me at work so he probably doesn’t know where I live.” She left out the loss meeting visit for now. It would have been easy to deduce, since it was the one Sara went to.

  Sara nodded absently, her eyes on the photo. She seemed distant, reserved. Noelle watched her intently. “He’s old news,” she said finally.

  Noelle leaned back, smiling slightly. “I figured it was an old boyfriend.”

  Sara tilted her head at the photo, letting out a sigh, and then nodded. “I dated him in college, after - after Ivan died.” She closed her eyes, grimacing at the thought. Noelle’s eyes softened.

  “I just - I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going after you, either.” Noelle sat aside her dinner, no longer interested in the bit left. Sara looked so distressed.

  Sara shook her head, and offered Noelle a slight smile. “No, he hasn’t talked to me in -” She glanced at the wall behind Noelle’s head, obviously thinking. “Quite some time.”

  Noelle didn’t know what to do. Reach out and hug her? Come around the table and take her into her arms? Was that the right thing to do? Was it too much? “Are you okay?” Noelle asked finally. Her feet were twitching under the table, and she had leaned as close to Sara as she could without actually leaving her chair.

  Sara looked at her, startled. “Yeah.” She smiled. It was more forced than Noelle liked, but maybe it was her fault for bringing up an obviously sensitive topic in the first place. Noelle wished she had someone else who had gone through this to ask - she was flying by the seat of her pants and while she was good at doing that with her cases, a relationship was a new experience for her. “C’mere, you.” Sara stood, opening her arms.

  Noelle stood reflexively, glad that Sara asked for it instead of leaving Noelle over on that side of the table to fidget. She wrapped her arms around Sara, holding her close, feeling her warm body against hers. Sara rested her chin on Noelle’s shoulder, her arms wrapped around Noelle.

  “I’m sorry,” Noelle murmured.

  Sara didn’t move, didn’t release her hold on Noelle. She seemed to draw comfort from the embrace as much as Noelle did. “Why?”

  Noelle eased back a bit but didn’t let go. Instead she tried to relax into the hug. She hadn’t seen Sara properly in nearly three weeks - it was one of the longest breaks in their relationship. “For bringing up something that obviously hurts you.” She didn’t want to think about why. Was it a fling that had gone wrong? Had he hurt her? As much as she didn’t want it to, jealousy flared up inside of her. She tried to push it down.

  “No, it’s -” Sara stopped, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. Noelle didn’t say anything, wanting to let Sara have time to figure out what thoughts she wanted to express. “It’s okay.” She pulled back enough so that Noelle could see her face, see the apology on her face. She leaned in pressed a gentle kiss to Noelle’s lips. “He’s gone. He’s not in my life anymore,” she said, her voice gentle. “You are. It’s you I want.”

  Noelle hadn’t realized how tense she was over it, but at Sara’s words, she felt herself relax a bit. She offered a rueful smile. “I’ve never been jealous before, not over people.”

  Sara laughed, kissing her again. “It’s not a pleasant feeling.” She leaned her forehead against Noelle’s, their noses touching. “I missed you.”

  Noelle blushed. She hated that she blushed. She never blushed at work, but just a few simple words, and Sara could reduce her to a teenager. “I missed you too.”

  “What’s your work schedule like next week?”

  Noelle made a face. “All nights, with some shifts lasting til noon. It’s not pretty.”

  Sara made a sympathetic noise. “Big case?”

  “Something like that.” Noelle didn’t want to say much more. She couldn’t say much more.

  “I work all days,” Sara said, sounding unenthusiastic. Noelle couldn’t blame her - it meant that their paths wouldn’t cross for at least another week.

  “What about the Loss Meeting?” Noelle asked. Maybe she would at least get to see Sara at that.

  “I’ll be there.” Sara smiled, and it was a soft smile, her thin lips curving and making her face light up.

  “You look so pretty like that,” Noelle whispered. Sara was truly beautiful.

  Sara kissed her again. Noelle closed her eyes, kissing her back. She liked the way that Sara’s lips felt soft against hers, the way Sara smelled, the way she moved. She liked - no, loved - everything about Sara. “I love you,” Sara whispered, like she was telling a secret.

  It was a secret, an important one. It was their secret, something they kept to themselves. Something that mattered to only them. Noelle didn’t care that others didn’t know about their relationship, wouldn’t approve of it.

  “I love you too,” Noelle murmured, a smile lighting up her face.

  She loved Sara and that was what mattered.

  “I hope you don’t need sleep tonight,” Sara said, her smile turning wicked.

  Noelle blushed again. Damnit. “I hope you don’t either.”

  Noelle sat at her desk a few days later, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Night shifts were hard after being on day shift for a couple weeks, but she knew that she would adapt soon enough. “Late night?” Riley asked, his grin wicked.

  Noelle rolled her eyes. “Don’t you ever get new questions?”

  Riley shook his head. “That’d be boring.”

  Noelle snorted. She shook her head, setting aside the file she was reading. “My blackout curtains ripped and I haven’t gotten new ones yet.”

  “I don’t want to know how they ripped.” Riley pretended to cover his ears.

  “You’ve been spending too much time around your nephews,” Noelle said, amused.

  Riley laughed. “They’re in town for a week.”

  “Thought so.” Noelle smiled. “And you’re working nights. Pulled the short straw?”

  “Something like that.” Riley sank into a chair next to Noelle’s cubicle. “Anything new going on?”

  “Not really.” Noelle pulled out her phone, checked it. There was no messages from Sara. No reply, although Noelle had texted her twice. Maybe she was just busy. That was probably it.

  Riley raised his eyebrows. Noelle glanced at him, pretending that absolutely nothing was wrong. It wasn’t. Sara was busy. Or something. “Right then.” He cleared his throat, his eyebrows still raised. It was one of the more bizarre images that Noelle had seen.

  “Anything actually work related to discuss?” Noelle said pragmatically. He was such a drama queen for a fifty year old man.

&nb
sp; “Yes.” He thumped a file down onto her lap. Noelle stared at him. “I have a new case for you.”

  “A new - Riley.” Noelle was incredulous. On top of the Kennedy case and her other cases, he was talking about a new case? “I don’t have time for a new case.”

  “You do because I reassigned two of your cases to Nick and Dan.” He tapped the side of the cubicle she sat in. “Don’t worry, they weren’t ones you liked.”

  Noelle looked skeptical.

  “Darenston and Smith.”

  She did have to concede that she didn’t particularly like either of those cases. They were frustrating with few leads and no cooperative witnesses. Besides, Nick had been in organized crime prior to coming to homicide - surely he would have more luck with their witnesses, or even in figuring out what on in the first place. Darenston had been more of a traditional homicide, but with half of the family eradicated and the other half not talking to police, it had been frustratingly stonewalled.

  “Dan’s patient,” Noelle said.

  “I didn’t give them to just anyone.” Riley looked mock-offended, as if he was personally hurt that Noelle would consider such a thing.

  “This is the last time you switch my cases without my consent, yeah?” Noelle picked up the file, her eyebrows raised pointedly. “Especially when I’m working on a high profile case already.”

  “Next time I’ll at least ask you.” He chuckled. “Would next Saturday work for dinner?”

  Noelle didn’t finish opening the folder, instead pausing to stare at him. What?

  “You and Sara, having dinner with Elsy and I.” He mimicked four people sitting at a table with his hands. Noelle added hand puppets to her list of Riley’s strange talents. “Next Saturday. That would be - twelve days from now.” He shrugged, as if he was the most gracious man in the room. “That way it gives you two time to work out whatever you’re dealing with.”

  Noelle bristled.

  “I’ve been a cop thirty years,” he said, his voice quiet. His eyes were kind, even as they met Noelle’s. “I can read it on your face when you’re upset, and the only thing you get upset over nowadays is Sara.”