by Erin Trejo
Monster stopped walking and pulled me closer to him. His hands run up and down my back.
“Whatever your dad couldn’t see in you that’s on him. He made you different Kyza. He should have never allowed you into that world so freely. You aren’t a fuckin’ asset,” he says through clenched teeth.
“I was and he knew that after a while. At first I was okay with it because he actually looked at me like I was something. I was someone useful. I wasn’t just a memory of an old love that he no longer had.” That was exactly what I was to him and I know it. Annie may look like me to a point, but I look exactly like my mom had. I know he hated that part of me.
“So you ran?”
I nod.
“I killed Ryan. I felt the betrayal at the same time I felt the loss. It hurt like hell to lose something I loved, but I knew my dad was going to kill him.”
“Why run then?”
“They thought I was helping Ryan. My dad truly believed that I had helped him get intel on him. My only options were to run or be killed. At first I really didn’t care. I thought about it all of the time, about running. I should have stayed and faced him, but at the end of the day I just couldn’t do it. I was weak, just like they always told me I was.”
I gasp when tears spring to my eyes.
“Who?”
“They raped me. Right before I left. My dad’s guys told me how weak I was. They told me that I would never have amounted to anything in the family. They told me that I should have been more like Annie.”
“Jesus Christ,” Monster mutters and pulls me closer to him. I inhale his scent. I need him to ground me right now. I feel like I’m drifting and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
“I’ll kill them all,” he whispers into the top of my hair.
Nineteen
Monster
Her secrets nearly crushed me last night. I took her back to the hotel and did the only thing I knew to do. I loved her. I fucking loved her. I took my time showing her just how strong she truly is. She curled up in my arms and drifted to sleep peacefully. I hated the pain that she felt, the rejection and the uselessness. I fucking hated every little bit of it. She is the farthest thing from weak.
“Are you going to do this?” she teases me as I stare at her.
We got the prospect hand delivered. He’s now tied to a chair in the middle of the rundown shed in the junkyard. I run my hand through my hair and sigh.
“You a little bloodthirsty today?” I ask her moving around her to look the prospect in the eyes.
“Maybe?” she mumbles from behind me.
I chuckle and lean down so I’m eye level with the kid.
“Wanna tell me why you walked and no one else did?”
His eyes widen, but he keeps his mouth tightly closed.
“You wanna make this harder? You know the rules of bein’ a Soulless Bastard. You wanted to take that pledge yeah? Now you sit here betrayin’ the club you wanted so bad to be a part of?”
“I don’t know why,” he finally says.
Kyza shocks the shit out of both of us when she laughs from behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see her watching the kid with a glint in her eyes. I know she wants in. I can see it. This is her. This is who she is and she’s frightening herself. She’s struggling between the girl she is now and who she used to be.
“By all means babe,” I say standing up and gesture toward him. She looks at me and I can see it all painted in those gorgeous blue eyes. It’s a struggle for her.
“Be who you’re meant to be Kyza. No one can ever take that away from you again.”
She sucks in a breath and her eyes begin to water. I step back and lean against the wall. I have my arms crossed over my chest as I wait. Kyza takes a minute to gather herself before she walks over to me and takes the knife from my pocket. I love watching her move. God, the way she holds herself.
“You think we’re stupid? You know exactly why they set you free and not the others. You cut a deal didn’t you?” She questions the prospect keeping her tone even.
She straddles the kid and sits in his lap. I suppress the snarl that threatens to escape because I want to see my girl in action. I want to see what she’s made of.
“I don’t know anything,” the kid repeats himself again. Kyza hums. She brings the knife up to his throat.
“I killed a man once with a knife kind of like this. The blade slid so easily through his flesh. Do you know why I liked that knife?’ He doesn’t move as she traces it along his skin.
“Answer her.”
“I don’t know,” he replies, but this time his eyes widen.
“It was the same knife they used to cut my clothes off my body with. They thought it would be funny to see the horror in my eyes before they raped me. It wasn’t so funny once the tables were turned on them.”
My insides clench. I want to fucking find out who hurt her. I know some of them are dead. I know she killed them. But the ones that are left? I want them.
“There was a deal,” he starts with a shaky voice. Kyza giggles and presses the tip of the blade into his throat. He groans when it punctures his skin. I can see the spot of blood as it rushes to the surface.
“We already know that,” Kyza reminds him.
“I was never supposed to make it this far,” he confesses. It does nothing for her. She just sits there, watching and waiting.
“Who do you work for?” she asks.
“Fuck you.”
She drags the knife down his neck toward his chest. He screams from the pain.
“Fucking bitch.”
“Who do you work for?” she screams louder than he does.
“Fuck you.”
The knife keeps moving. She slices through his skin without flinching. That’s sexy as fuck.
“Nope, but I do intend to fuck you with this knife.”
Fuck me my cock springs to life. Kyza keeps going and I can barely control myself.
“Ortega. Fuck!” The kid screams again.
My chest tightens. Kyza looks at me over her shoulder, asking me with her eyes if that’s enough. I give her a nod and she climbs off of his lap and comes to stand next to me.
“Why?” I ask him.
“He was going to fuck the club over. He’s pissed about some shit that happened in the past with another chapter. Fuck!”
“What the fuck was he plannin’?” I ask moving closer to the kid.
“To get half of you locked up and then kill the other half when the shipment was late.”
I nod my head, pull my gun out, and shoot him between the eyes. His head falls to the side as I stand there and think over what he just told us. He’s pissed at a different chapter and taking it out on us? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but maybe Viking has more intel on this shit than I do. I turn back to Kyza and find her looking at the dead kid.
“You okay?”
She pulls her gaze to mine and nods.
“He was a traitor.”
I nod my head. I walk over to her and pull her into my arms, she willingly comes and I just hold her against me.
“You did good babe. How do you feel?” I ask her. Kyza looks up at me with eyes on fire.
“I feel like I’m me again,” she responds before I lean down and kiss her.
I don’t stop either. I back her against the wall and devour her mouth with mine. When she moans I lose it. I strip her down, lowering my jeans and boxers. Lifting her up in my arms, I plunge into her and take what we both need. Each thrust pulls me closer to her. Closer to her demons. Each time she screams my name I feel like I’m falling in deeper with her.
“Holy shit.”
I hear Mart’s voice grumble from behind me. I don’t stop and Kyza doesn’t either. I fuck her harder showing her who she belongs to. She’s mine and she is never going anywhere. I don’t care if I have her cuff her sweet ass to my bed.
“Shit. Monster,” Kyza cries out for me.
Mart grumbles behind us. He’s no doubt jerking h
imself off. I keep thrusting into her. Her head is pounding against the wall and there’s a dead guy tied to a chair behind us. I lower my head and suck her flesh into my mouth. I’m branding her, marking her, making her fucking mine. I feel her pussy clench and that’s when I lose the rest of my control, growling as I come inside her. She lets go and releases with me. We’re both panting and on fire.
“Jesus. That was some kind of fuckin’,” Mart grumbles before I smell the scent of cigarette smoke. I pull out of Kyza and let her slide to the floor slowly. We both redress quickly. I turn around as I’m buckling my belt and lock eyes with Mart.
“Sorry,” I smirk.
“For what? The free show? Goddamn man it isn’t often you find sick fuckers like you that don’t give a damn that there’s a dead guy in the room,” he says with a laugh.
Kyza adjusts her clothes, walks past me, grabs the cigarette from Mart’s fingers, and says, “Thanks for letting us use your shed.”
I watch her ass as it sways and she walks out of the shed.
“Fuck me,” Mart grumbles. “What did you find out?” he motions over his shoulder with his thumb.
“Don’t even ask. Appreciate you takin’ care of shit. Help me get him into the van?”
“Prospects can clean this up,” he reminds me, but I shake my head.
“I handle my own clean ups.”
Mart nods and moves to untie the kid. It doesn’t take us long before we have him loaded into the back of the van. Kyza and I head out. We dump him along the way.
“How do you feel?” I ask as I keep my eyes on the road.
“Amazing,” she admits scooting into the middle seat. She rests her head on my shoulder. I throw an arm around her to keep her close.
“That mean you’re stayin’ with me?”
“Staying with you?” she asks as she looks up at me in shock.
“Yeah. No more sleepin’ in that nasty fuckin’ office,” I tell her.
“I can’t do that to Paul.”
“Didn’t ask you to do anything to Paul. I just said no more sleepin’ there. You can work there. I don’t give a shit about that, but as for sleepin’? You’re in my bed every fuckin’ night. Yeah?”
Kyza snuggles into my side and sighs.
“Yeah. Every fucking night.”
Twenty
Kyza
I thought that I’d be uncomfortable going with Monster to Key Largo. I wasn’t though. He makes me feel like I matter, and that’s not something I’ve found often if at all. No one has done that for me since Ryan, and we all know how well that ended.
I’m sitting outside the gates on his motorcycle waiting for him to come back. He called a few of his guys to come and meet him. Apparently this Ortega guy is bad news. I’m a little on edge wondering what’s happening in there, but I haven’t heard any gunshots, so I think that’s a good sign. I climb off of the bike and pace in front of it until I hear laughter coming my way. I turn to see him and his guys laughing as they come toward me. When they are out of reach from the guards the laughter just stops. Their faces turn to stone and anger dances in their eyes.
“You okay?” he asks me as they get closer.
I nod my head and wrap my arms around myself as the others take me in. It isn’t that they’ve never seen me before, but I find myself wondering if Monster told them what I did.
“Are you?” I ask him in return.
“I’m good babe. We need to go. Shit might get crazy if we stick around.”
“Head straight back. We’re havin’ church,” the guy I know as Mason says.
Monster nods his head, grabs my hand, and pulls me back to his bike. He climbs on and I get on behind him. I snuggle in close as he revs up the bike, as we’re starting to pull out a car pulls up. The guys don’t seem to pay them any attention, but I turn my head just as we pass and nearly fall off the bike. That can’t be. What the hell would she be doing here? Why? No! That can’t be her.
“You okay?” Monster hollers over his shoulder when I realize just how tense I actually am. I swallow hard knowing that it can’t possibly be her and try to calm myself.
“Yeah. I’m good,” I call back.
The entire ride back to the clubhouse has me on edge. The visions of her are stuck in my head. She looked so much like Annie, but it couldn’t be. Ortega isn’t our last name, and I left them in Louisiana. I try to shake the thoughts from my head, but I can’t. She looked so much like her.
When we pull up into the clubhouse Monster kills the engine and climbs off. He offers me his hand and I take it climbing off next to him. When he goes to remove my helmet I feel his eyes on me.
“You wanna tell me what’s runnin’ through that head of yours?”
“The car we passed leaving Key Largo? The girl in the back reminded me of my sister,” I say softly. Monster pulls me to his chest and runs his hand through my hair.
“Do you hate her?”
“I did at one point. I hated that she was better than me. Well, that’s how it felt at least. She never got treated the way I did.”
“And now?”
“I forgave her a long time ago. She did what she had to do to survive. I can’t blame her for that. She was just trying to stay alive just like I was,” I admit out loud for the first time.
“That’s a heavy weight yeah?”
I pull back and look up at him before I nod.
“It was worth it. You are worth it. If I wasn’t that girl back then, I wouldn’t be standing here with you right now,” I tell him as I watch the corner of his lips twitch.
A smile crosses his face when the guys holler for him.
“We gotta get it there. Come on,” he says tugging me along behind him. He stops just inside the doors and kisses me roughly. He then shoves me towards the bar, with a slap on the ass. I giggle as I walk over and sit down.
“So, you tamed the Monster huh?” Whitley says as I glance over and smile up at her.
“I think he kind of tames me,” I admit.
“He’s a good guy. I haven’t known him as long as the others, but he’s always been a little different. You know? Mason told me it’s the scars, but I don’t even notice them. He’s just Monster to me. Looks don’t make you the person you are.”
Well, damn. I think I just found a whole new reason to like Whitley.
“Shut up Whit. You know if Mason was ugly you wouldn’t have touched him,” Carnie adds as she walks over.
“I thought he was Satan for Christ’s sakes,” Whit laughs.
“You what?” I ask trying to keep up, but finding myself laughing.
“I was into a lot of drugs back then. I was running from a self-appointed counselor. God, she was such a bitch. Anyways, I ran into the alley behind one of the bars and he was there smoking. I totally thought he was Satan. I was high,” she laughs.
“That is funny,” I laugh with her.
“So? You and Monster?” Carnie asks wiggling her eyebrows as she leans against the bar.
“He asked me to stay with him,” I tell them. I don’t know why, but I feel at home with these girls. I feel like I can open up and admit things to them about myself and Monster. Monster has told me many times during our time together that they are very trustworthy. I find myself believing that to be true. I’m comfortable with them, which is very new to me.
“Really? That’s awesome. We could use another girl around here. Some of the club whores are really annoying,” Carnie adds.
“I don’t know what he expects of me,” I tell them taking another long pull.
“To be with him. He sees something in you. That’s why he asked you. He likes you. That much is obvious. I’ve never seen him the way he is with you.”
I watch Whitley as she talks. I can’t believe that they’ve paid that much attention to us.
“What’s it like living here all of the time?”
I change the subject. The two share a look. I don’t know what that was, but Carnie is the one to answer me.
“It’s fun, c
haotic, and emotional. You name it and you’re going to feel it. The good times are just that. They are amazing, but times can get hard too. Things were rough when my brother left. Fin was a part of this club,” she says when Whit interrupts her by saying, “Is a part of this club.”
Carnie smiles and nods.
“Is a part of this club, but he and his girlfriend got into a lot of drugs. Her old man was in the club before he got killed. They both kind of spiraled.”
“Are they okay?” Carnie nods as a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips.
“They’re in rehab. He comes by every once in a while. I’m sure you will meet him soon. Aside from that, the parties do get wild. You have to be able to control yourself around these guys. There will be girls that will throw themselves at the guys and shit like that. Club whores that want what you have. You just have to be able to trust your man.”
“How do you handle all of that being pregnant?” Carnie smiles.
“I love Viking. That’s how. I trust that he will be faithful to me. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him.”
“And you?” I ask Whitley.
“It’s me that Mason needs to worry about. Not the other way around,” she laughs. “I kinda have a thing for girls and he sometimes lets me run wild, but he’s always there, so to me it isn’t cheating.” Jesus, I think I love these two.
“I don’t know exactly how Monster feels about me,” I admit. They share a look before they laugh and now I’m even more confused.
“I do,” Whitley says with a smirk.
“How?”
She nods behind me. When I turn to look the heated gaze of Monster’s is locked with mine. Heat courses through my veins as I take him in standing there.
“That’s how.”
The girls laugh again, but I’m trapped in his eyes. The way he looks at me is like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. He stalks toward me and stops directly in front of me, lifts his hands and grabs my face roughly before he leans down and kisses me. It isn’t just a kiss. It’s a claim. He’s staking his claim in a bruising, powerful kiss that has my heart pounding in my chest and my body is melting inside.