by Erin Trejo
“What are you laughin’ at?” I hear Viking’s voice. Monster pulls back from our kiss and looks to the girls.
“Yeah. What the hell is so funny?” He looks intrigued by their laughter and it makes me smile.
“We were just talking about you Monster.”
My cheeks flush.
“What about me?”
He stiffens. I run my hand up and down his chest. I’m trying to relax him a bit. He’s on edge all of a sudden.
“Just about how much you like her,” Carnie says.
“Oh yeah? And what did you tell her?”
His demeanor changes in a second. He’s calmer now. He’s more comfortable than he was.
“That you have that look in your eyes.”
“What look?” Viking asks.
“He loves her.”
Twenty-One
Monster
Love is a strong word. I’ve only ever used it once before. I don’t even know if you’d consider that love seeing as how I killed the bitch. I look at Kyza and she smiles. It eats at me wondering if what the girls said the other day is true. Do I love her?
“You got your head in your ass?” Mason asks as he sits down next to me.
“No. Just thinkin’ is all. You get anything on the girl Ortega is after?”
Mason shakes his head. The meeting we had with Ortega is wearing thin on me. He was pissed that half of his shipment got busted, but we were pissed at what he was pulling on us. Death is the ultimate ending for him, but for now we play by his rules. Running into his house and killing him and shit ton of armed guards isn’t the best plan, so for now we lay low.
“No. Not much to go on either. The fucker is basically havin’ us chase a ghost. Some chick fucked him over and he wants her back. That’s all he gave us to go on. Protectin’ his family,” Mason says shaking his head.
“What the fuck did she do?”
“She was helpin’ the Feds is what he said. I don’t know how he lost her if he knew that.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth my chest tightens. I look at Kyza. She smiles and runs her hand over Carnie’s stomach, no doubt she’s feeling the baby move. Her eyes are bright and lit up just like they should be.
“He has a kid then?”
“You know that.”
“Only one?”
Mason watches me pull my gaze from Kyza. It doesn’t completely make sense, but some of the pieces fit.
“What the hell are you thinkin’?” Mason asks as Viking and Grinder come to sit with us.
“When we left Ortega’s Kyza said that there was a car pullin’ in and that the girl in the back reminded her of her sister.”
“Kyza has a sister?” Grinder asks as I nod.
“Little younger than her. Her past is fucked up brother. She went through a lot of her own hell. She’s told me stories.”
“And what are you thinkin’? She might be the one Ortega is lookin’ for?” Mason asks narrowing his eyebrows.
“I don’t fuckin’ know. Her last name is Owens not Ortega. Some of what you just said makes sense though. Kyza was with a guy, who ended up being FBI. Dad found out about the traitor being her boyfriend and planned to kill him only she did it first. She also killed a few others that raped her.”
“She what?” Viking roars pulling some attention. Grinder pats his shoulder trying to get him to calm down. “She’s killed before?”
“Yeah. A few times. I don’t know what any of this shit means Viking. She said her family lived in Louisiana. She ran because she knew her dad was gonna kill her.”
Grumbled words move around the table as I take down the rest of my beer. Grinder walks away, but no one says a word about it. We drink for a few more minutes before he returns with a laptop in hand. He sets it on the table in front of us and my stomach drops.
“Gail Owens, married to Matthew Owens. They had two daughters. Guess where they lived?”
Fuck me no. That can’t be. We have fucking orders from him and if we don’t come up with a plan or produce the body of a dead girl, then we could be royally fucked.
I slam my fists on the table in front of me. I keep staring at the screen. It’s the birth certificates of two girls, Annie Diane Owens and Kyza Marie Owens. My stomach churns as it all starts to sink in. I didn’t even notice when Kyza came over until I heard her gasp. I look over my shoulder and she’s looking at me.
“What are you doing?”
“There seems to be a situation you need to know about.” Viking informs her, but her eyes are glued to mine.
“Why do you have those?” She asks pointing at the screen.
“Come here,” I tell her softly.
Kyza moves to stand next to me. She’s watching the screen like it’s a mirage. I can’t say that I blame her. This is news to all of us.
“Why do you have my birth certificate? Didn’t you trust me?” She asks and tenses in my arms.
“It’s not that. You know that. This name. Do you see this name?” I ask pointing to her dad’s name.
“That’s my dad,” she says softly.
“Grinder, pull up Ortega’s information,” I tell him. Kyza looks at me slightly confused until his picture pops up on the screen. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth. She’s stifling the scream that is lodged in her throat.
“How is that him? Our last name is Owens.”
I pull her body onto my lap when Viking speaks, “He took on his new wife’s last name. He took over her world. Did you ever know that?”
It sounds more like an accusation than anything else. I growl low in my throat but Mason just slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“The FBI was looking into him as Owens. This can’t be right. No, no, no,” she mumbles trying to pull herself out of my arms.
“There’s more,” Mason adds. Kyza jerks her head in his direction and waits.
“What the fuck more could there possibly be?”
“He wants us to look for and kill the girl that fucked him over. The girl that was talkin’ to the feds.” Kyza’s body jerks in response. She begins to tremble in my arms.
“He was in Louisiana.”
“They moved their business to Key Largo. It’s closer to her family and his business,” Grinder adds.
“You’re going to kill me for him,” she mumbles before laughter erupts around the table.
“Like fuck we are. Your man has claimed you already. You’re one of us. We protect what’s ours,” Viking says smiling over at us.
Kyza turns to look at me. Confusion is etched across her face.
“You did that?”
“You’re mine Kyza. I’ve waited my entire life for you.”
“You’re keeping me?” she asks tilting her head slightly. I nod my head and pull her back against me.
“I told you that already. I asked you for your permission first, but you didn’t want to play by the rules. You’ve ripped me apart just to rebuild me and I’m not lettin’ that go. You can either go with it, or get the fuck over it, because you’re mine.”
“I can’t stay here,” she says shaking her head. “He’s going to find out.”
“You’re done runnin’ Kyza.”
“Don’t you get it? I’ve run my entire life to avoid this. To avoid him. I might be a killer, but he has a whole shit load of killers at his fingertips.”
She pulls out of my grip and steps back away from me. I growl as I stand and counter her every step.
“Fuckin’ listen to yourself. You’ve hid. Tried bein’ someone you’re not. For what? You scared Kyza?”
I like pushing her. I like seeing her on the edge of her sanity.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” she hisses as she lifts her eyes up to meet mine.
“Are you scared? Are you fuckin’ weak like they always told you that you were?”
And, there she is.
There’s the monster that I knew was in there. She’s a fighter. Her eyes flash before me as she raises her fists. She throws a punch at me that I’m not ready
for. It collides with my eye and when she tries for another one I grab her wrist.
“Fuck you Monster! I’m not weak. I will never be weak again. You want me to go back to being Kyza? You want the girl that liked to kill? You want me to accept the dark parts of me? Fine. Then this is me accepting it. But I will tell you for sure that I will kill him before he ever gets another chance at me.”
She spins on her heel and walks away from me down the hallway. Carnie and Whit both move to follow her. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but when I turn back to look at the guys, they’re all looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“What?”
“You’ve met your fuckin’ match there,” Viking says as he points down the hallway.
I grunt and grab my beer before answering, “No shit.”
“What are you gonna do now?” Grinder asks.
“Make a plan. She’s one of us. We protect what’s ours. Even if that little hellion might make a move first,” Mason adds with a chuckle.
“Heard that,” Viking says raising his own beer in salute.
“I’ll talk to her. We need a plan though. I’m not lettin’ that motherfucker anywhere near her,” I remind them.
“Shit no, I’ve got to call the other chapters. I want any information they have on that fucker and to know what the issue is. I have no problems puttin’ that motherfucker to ground,” Viking says.
“Heard that. I’m goin’ to go talk to her. Figure somethin’ out and let me know yeah?”
The guys nod as I finish my beer and head down the hall.
Twenty-Two
Kyza
I worked so hard at staying hidden. I changed everything about myself. I tried to be who I wasn’t just to make sure that I could stay under the radar. I can’t believe that he was here the whole time I’ve been here. We weren’t in the same city, but we are in the same state and that makes me cringe. He could have found me so easily.
I shake my head and try to rid myself of those thoughts. The only thing they are going to do is hold me down. I can’t have that.
Monster talked to me before he fell asleep. He said that they were going to come up with a plan, but this isn’t his problem. This is my problem. I did what I did then I ran. I created this problem with Ryan. It’s up to me to try to fix this. My heart wouldn’t handle it if anything happened to any of the guys or they got hurt because of me. It isn’t fair for them to fight my battles.
I run my fingers over the scars on Monster’s side. He doesn’t stir or wake up. I smile as I watch his breathing. It’s so even. So strong. His chest just keeps rising and falling.
“If anyone in this world could possibly understand me, it’s you. I don’t know how the hell you do it Monster,” I whisper.
In my mind I know what I have to do, but in my heart I don’t want to leave him. He’s had so much pain in his life already. He has me now and that’s hard for me to admit, but that doesn’t mean I can stay here and pull him down with me. My dad is influential. He has pull everywhere and I think that’s a fact he’s proven time and again.
He took that fucking bitch’s last name. I didn’t believe it when they first told me. Ortega. I had been sitting right outside of his house and I didn’t even know it. I sigh as I climb off of the bed and grab my shirt. I dress quickly and stuff the rest of my stuff into my bag. I toss it over my shoulder before I leave his room.
“You can’t run from him,” Viking’s voice says from behind me. I jump, but keep walking. He has no say in this. As soon as we hit the main room he grabs my arm to spin me around to face him.
“Stop,” I warn him as he brings a cigarette to his lips and inhales before he blows out a ring of smoke.
“Long time ago, before I became the Prez I was lost. Hell even after I got that role I was still lost. Carnie grounded me. I hated the thought of her bein’ so young and innocent, but she brought out the best in me. Monster is a lost soul just wanderin’ around in this world. You know that. You bolt on him and it will kill him. He let you have a piece of him that no one has ever even seen before. Not even us, his brothers, got it. Whatever it is you think you’re gonna do, you need to rethink it. Your dad might be dangerous Kyza, but Monster?” He chuckles softly and shakes his head before he continues, “Monster’s far worse than even you know. When he snaps? It’s over. I wouldn’t wanna be on the receivin’ end of what he’s offerin’ up when he snaps darlin’.”
I eye Viking for a long second before I nod.
“I hear what you’re saying. I really do, and I appreciate the concern. I don’t want to leave him Viking. It’s the exact opposite of that, but I created this problem.”
“No. It’s not just you. We have another chapter near your hometown that fucked him over. He wants revenge. Whether you go in alone or you go in with us, we’re still goin’ in. You might think that over before you just split.”
“I have so many ghosts,” I whisper softly.
“Sit with me yeah?”
I’m torn. I want to run. I want to do what I need to do, but I nod my head and follow him to the bar instead. I sit on the stool when he slides me a drink and then grabs one for himself. I watch him as he comes around the bar to sit on the stool next to me.
“Only one person knows this story, and he’s dead. I was young. I wanted everything. This life was what I wanted, and I yearned for it. The first time I met a Bastard was down in Mexico. They were on a run down there and it went south. They were ambushed near their safe house. I just happened to be wanderin’ by there when it happened. The lady that lived in the house kept it up. Her name was Lupita,” he says as he looks off into the distance remembering the past.
“Was?” I ask Viking as he pulls his gaze back to mine with a nod.
“Yeah, was. She was killed a while ago. Anyway I was there when they got ambushed. I was right outside her house. They did a good job takin’ most of them out, but they also got their Prez shot. He was dyin’ while they were fightin’. I found him. He looked up at me and handed me a gun. He was fadin’ quickly ya know? He was shot somethin’ like four times I think. It was a fuckin’ mess. Lupita came out cryin’. She loved those guys like they were her own. His name was Tanker. He looked up at me and asked me to take away his pain. He asked me to fuckin’ kill him.”
I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. Tears are filling my eyes. I’m suddenly very aware of how he came to be the president here.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him.
He shakes his head, takes a long pull from his beer, and then continues, “He begged me. I took the gun from him and held it in my hands. I pressed it to his head. He gave me a nod and I did it. I took away his pain. Lupita cried, but when the other guys got back they were pissed. Their Prez was dead. Lupita told them that I did it. At first they were angry, but when she explained that he asked for it and their VP voted me in. No questions asked. No probation period. They said if I had the balls to end it for him that I was in.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask as I wipe tears from my cheek.
“Because you’re not much different than me. You did what you had to do because it needed to be done. I was haunted. Literally. I was a fuckin’ mess. My head was so fucked up, but we came back home and I settled in. I was who I was supposed to be in this life. Monster needs that in his life. He’s been haunted by shit for so many years now. Do you really want to take away the only happiness he’s had and steal it away from him? Ask yourself if he really deserves that.”
With that Viking stands up and walks away as I lay my head down on the table and just cry. I understand what he’s saying. I really do, but how do I finish this? How do I keep him and finish what my dad started so many years ago? Just the fact that he’s still out there looking for me and knows that I’m around is haunting me. Hands land on my shoulders. I jump, raise my head, then turn around.
“I get that you think you need to run Kyza. I’ve been there,” Monster says softly. I reach up and cover his hands with mine.
&nbs
p; “It’s so hard. I know that I started this because I ran. It kills me to think that something could happen to any of you and it would be my fault,” I admit. Monster moves and pulls me from my stool.
“That’s the thing babe. Nothin is gonna happen to any of us. We want him just as much as you do. You want in? Just say the word, and I won’t say no. Look at me. I couldn’t tell you no even if I wanted to.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I fuckin’ love you Kyza. I’ve never felt like this before. I never wanted any of this shit, but here we are. You’re rippin’ your way through my goddamn heart and tearin’ it right out of my soul. I’d give you the world if you’d only ask me.” Tears are falling slowly down my cheeks as I look up at him. He’s right.
“There’s only one thing I want to ask you Monster.” He nods his head, but looks nervous. It hurts me that he looks that way.
“Anything baby.”
“Your heart.”
“What?” He asks as he cocks his head to the side.
“The only thing I want is your heart.”
He smirks and lowers his head, resting his forehead against mine.
“You already have it Kyza. I don’t want it back either. Now, turn around,” he says kissing me once before he spins me to look away from him.
He leans forward and puts my hands on the table in front of me. His hands run down my back as I sigh. I push into his touch and my insides quiver.
“What are you doing?”
“Teachin’ you a lesson,” he says before he slaps my ass roughly. In seconds he has my jeans and panties pulled down and he’s pushing inside of me as I gasp and scream his name.
“Tell me you aren’t gonna leave me,” he grunts. Each thrust is harder than the one before, but I love the feeling of him inside of me.
“Monster,” I moan.
He backs up enough to slap me on the ass even harder than before.
“Say it.”
I keep my mouth shut and my teeth sink into my lower lip. Monster leans over me. His cock is hitting me deeper and deeper, wrapping his arm around me he grabs my nipple and pulls it roughly causing me to scream again.