The Holy Land: Fanatical Earthling planet assassins are spreading chaos through the galaxy. Is there any nice way to stop them?

by Robert Zubrin

  Danatus interjected. “Sir, if I can be so bold. The priestess Aurora is a Navy combat veteran.”

  The Admiral turned to the lieutenant. “How so?”

  “Sir, during the war she was taken aboard my father’s battlecruiser, the Warhawk, when we liberated Pegasus 3. Four months later, during the Andromeda battle, the ship was hit and a fire started in the children’s quarters. Aurora rallied the children to put it out. She was awarded the Little Star of YoungValor.”

  The Admiral looked at Aurora and smiled. “Well, well, a Little Star. Why aren’t you wearing your medal?”

  Aurora blushed. “Sir, it wasn’t much. All I did was put out a fire.”

  “On one of Her Divine Majesty’s warships in the middle a major fleet action.” The Admiral shook his head. “Priestess, you should not be so modest.”

  Aurora reached into the pocket of her robe and pulled out a small golden pin in the shape of a nine-pointed star with a glowing iridescent jewel at its center. With fumbling hands she pinned it on her robe in the spot above her heart. She looked at the Admiral bashfully. “I’ve always treasured it,” she admitted, with a tear in her eye.

  Phillipus nodded, “As well you should.”

  Aurora fought down a lump in her throat and mustered the will to ask a question. “Admiral, I’m worried. Some of the officials I’ve met aboard your ship seem to blame my people for what happened in the Draco sector. Surely you must know that we Minervans would never do anything to harm the Western Galactic Empire, and that the horrible things that were done to you were done by the same assassins who have been attacking us on Earth. We’re on the same side, fighting the same enemy.”

  “Yes,” the Admiral said. “But some people think that we wouldn’t have the same enemy if we weren’t on the same side.”

  Aurora was shocked. “How can they say that? The Empire has been attacked. Are there really people in positions of responsibility who would appease these savages by sacrificing us?That’s not something that the Navy that I knew would everdo.”

  “Nor is it something that we will countenance now,” Phillipus said, “if I have any say in the matter.Don’t worry Priestess, there are many of us old Navy men who still remember the war. We remember that we never met a Minervan thatwasn’t our friend, whowouldn’t welcome us, or help us, even at great risk to his or her own life. Yes, there are some in and around the court that would sell you out for convenient access to the savages’ helicity, but the Navy remembers its friends. We won’t let you down.”

  Aurora smiled. “Thanks sir. I feel a lot better now.”

  Three harmonic tones sounded. The Admiral said: “Come. It is time for us to enter the court.”

  They all filed into the courtroom. Weegee senior officers and priestesses all took seats in the central area. Aurora and Hamilton were shown to assigned seats in the front row of the left section, with two space marines positioned on either side. Looking across the front row, Aurora could see a Weegee senior diplomat in the first row of the right section, with a middle-aged Earthling woman seated next to her.The Earthling’s skin was slightly pink, indicating that she had recently washed herself properly for the first time, and she wore an expensive Weegee gown of the latest and highest style. Aurora wondered who the Earthling woman could be. A quick reading of Hamilton’s mind provided the answer. He recognized her. She was the White House Director of Public Relations. Five harmonic tones sounded, and everyone in the courtroom stood

  up. Then the Princess entered, followed by her train of courtiers. The Princess assumed her seat on the throne raised on the dais in front of the courtroom, and the courtiers rushed to sit at her feet. One of the courtiers removed the Princess’s shoes, and quickly, but with the greatest of care, placed them on top of a small velvet pedestal. Then theflagship’s chap- lain raised her hand with three fingers outstretched, and everyone chanted in unison; “For Reason, Love, and Justice; Everywhere and Forever!” Aurora recited the pledge with gusto, and for good measure made Hamilton say it, too. It was true that the pledge could be taken as a hymn to the so-called Triune Goddess, and therefore heresy, but Aurora chose

  to interpret it as a secular oath of allegiance to the WGE. As such she could say it without hesitation. Any anti-Minervans in the Weegee court who wanted to cast doubt on Minervan loyalty would get no help from her.

  The Princess smiled. “Loyal subjects, be seated.”

  Everyone sat down.

  The Princess continued. “We are gathered here today to determine what our response should be to the recent acts of planet assassination performed by savages from planet Earth. We understand that the primary local chiefdom has obtained representation. Is the advocate for the savagespresent?”

  The Weegee senior diplomat seated on the right flank of the court stood up. “Yes, Your Divine Majesty. I am Ambassador Junea, and I have been retained by the government of the United States of America to present its case before this court. I have here with me a representative of that government, Mrs. LisaWhite.”

  The Princess looked at Junea, and then, with some curiosity, at Lisa White. “So that is an Earthling,” the Princess said, and then wrinkled her nose. “Odd, but she does not stink at all. It appears that some of the reports about the inhabitants of this planet are inaccurate.”

  “Oh, quite so, YourDivine Majesty,” Junea replied. “I think you will find that much of what you have been told about Earth and its citizens requires correction.”

  “We shall see,” the Princess said. “Admiral Phillipus, present the indictment.”

  Admiral Phillipus stood up. “The evidence before this court is that on or about 0900 hours WGE Universal time, on the 122nd day of the 16,471th year since the revelation of the Triune Goddess, that four savages of the planet Earth acted in concert and conspiracy to illegally activate the hyper drive of four starships in the immediate vicinity of four inhabited planets. Three of the conspirators were successful and, as a result of their actions, three entire planetary systems belonging to Her Divine Majesty, Minaphera the 243rd were destroyed, together some 200 billion of Her Divine Majesty’s subjects, as well as several million visiting subjects of monarchs friendly to Her Divine Majesty. In addition, some 12,300 WGE and 240 allied starships of various types were destroyed, as well as civilian and government property with an estimated total value of over 50 heptillion bluebacks. These actions were done without any provocations whatsoever. As the damage done was so immense, and the risk of further such activity is so apparent, it is the recommendation of the Imperial Department of Public Safety, Cepheus Sector, that the implicated tribes of savage humanoids inhabiting the planet Earth, generally known as Earthlings, be immediately and totallyexterminated.”

  Aurora felt the scream of terror inside Hamilton’s mind when he heard the recommendation. She tried to calm him, but it was all she could do to simply stop him from speaking.

  The Princess nodded. “An excellent summary. Well, ambassador Junea, do you have anything to say before this court approves the DPS recommendation?”

  Junea stood up. “Yes, Your Divine Majesty to Be. In the first place, there is no direct evidence linking the four incidents in question, and so the allegation of conspiracy is clearly groundless and must bedismissed.”

  Admiral Phillipus said; “Your Divine Majesty to Be,…”

  The Princess said, “That’s enough of that. Just call me ‘Divine Princess.’ This is a field trip to the galactic outback. There’s no need for us to be so stuffy and formal.”

  “Yes, Divine Princess,” the Admiral continued. “I object to the ambassador’s assertion that there is no evidence linking the attacks. We have four attacks with an identical modus operandi occurring at the same time, with Earthlings involved in every one…”

  “No,” Junea interrupted. “We only know that someone who acted in such a way as to appear to be an Earthling was apparently involved in one of theattacks.”

  “There were Earthlings aboard the other three ships,” the Admiral said.
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  “But there is no evidence whatsoever that any of them were involved in any wrongdoing,” Junea said.

  The Admiral appeared frustrated. “All four ships had visited Earth in the month before the attacks. Earth is the common thread that links them all.”

  “No,” Junea corrected. “Earth is one potential common thread. But there are many others. For example there were citizens of the Cepheus sector on all four ships. The captains of all four ships were graduates of the Cepheus Merchant Marine Academy. All four vessels employed engines made by Draco Stardrive, which is suggestive that what some are calling a conspiracy of planet assassinations may be nothing else than a coincidence of mechanical malfunctions. The close relationship between the Cepheus Sector Naval Squadron and the Draco Stardrive Company is well known. I find it interesting that it is the Navy that is so adamant that the source of the disasters was an Earthling conspiracy. Can it be that in order to protect their comfortable corporate retirements, some of our valiant naval officers are engaged in a coverup, and are proposing to massacre billions of helpless savages to protect their bloated contractor friends in the shipbuilding industry? Perhaps that is what this court should beinvestigating.”

  Admiral Phillipus looked to his monarch. “Divine Princess, this is outrageous!”

  “I quite agree,” the Princess said. “On the basis of the evidence, this court is satisfied that all four incidents were the result of willful sabotage by Earthling savages. The Advocate for the Defendants will confine her arguments to those parameters.”

  “Very well,” Junea nodded. “Then conceding that point in obedience to your divine wisdom, let us consider what might have caused four simple savages to perform such destructive acts. Let us look at the horrific oppression that all Earthlings have been subjected to by the Minervan occupation of their planet…”

  The Admiral interrupted. “Divine Princess, that is absurd. The Minervans have occupied only one tiny locality called Kennewick, less than one millilightsecond in diameter. None of the planet assassins were from Kennewick. Ascribing Minervan culpability to their actions is completely far fetched.”

  “Not if we consider the psychological effect of seeing their fellow Earthlings from Kennewick humiliated every day by their brutal Minervan overlords,” Junea said. “How can one possibly blame such poor simple savages for wanting to strike back in the only way they knew how?”

  The Princess arched an eyebrow.“But they did not strike back against the Minervans, ambassador. They struck back atus.”

  “Yes, DivinePrincess,” ambassador Junea replied.“But can we be so blind as to not see what they see? Is it not obvious that the Minervans’ ability to oppress and humiliate the poor innocent Earthlings is due entirely to the fact that our own Empire has transported this loveless people to their planet, that we have armed them, and continue to supply them with advanced technology that they use to brutally crush the legitimate aspirations for dignity and self determination of the planet’s rightful inhabitants?”

  This was too much for Aurora. She stood up. “Divine Princess,” she said. “We Minervans are rightful inhabitants of the planet Earth. Weoriginated there, in the region now called Kennewick 20,000 years ago. It is from there that we spread, to colonize the galaxy and give birth to all the great galactic civilizations. It is only one small part of the Earth, and the only part that we claim. But it is our homeland and ours by right. It is stated thus in all the most ancient holybooks.”

  Junea waved her hand at Aurora dismissively. “Shall our Empire and its citizens be subject to ruin and massacre in the name of this sort of Minervan religious claptrap?”

  A Weegee High Priestess seated in the front row of the courtroom’s central sector stood up. Aurora recognized her as Pallacina, the High Priestess of the Cepheus Sector. “Ambassador, be warned. On these mat- ters our holy books and those of the Minervans concur.”

  “Perhaps,” Junea said. “But this is the modern age and we must be practical. The prophecies of Penelope the Wise may still serve as the great guide to life for the little priestess and her kind, but we have the interests of a hundred-million planet Empire toconsider.”

  “Yes, we do,” the Princess said. “And in that light I am particularly incensed that you appear to be implying that the party ultimately at fault in the recent planet assassinations was the government of Her Divine Majesty, Minaphera the 243rd. Is that what you are saying, Ambassador, that we are to blame? Are you saying that in choosing to support the claim of the Minervans to Kennewick, that Her Divine Majesty, Minaphera the 243rd, has made a mistake?”

  A hushed silence filled the courtroom. The Princess fingered her triangle pendant and waited for the Ambassador’s answer. Finally, Junea said, “no, Divine Princess. Of course not.”

  “Very well,” the Princess said. “You may proceed with your defense.”

  “In that case, Divine Princess,” Junea said, “let us consider if beings as primitive as the Earthlings can actually be blamed for anything. Earthlings are mindless savages, raised in a culture of violence. They are incapable of rational thought, and thus their actions must be considered as not matters of choice, but culturally conditioned reflexes. While in our culture, planet assassination is considered a crime, in theirs it is the natural, just and proper response to the sort of insults and humiliations the Minervans have imposed upon them. Retaliation of any kind against the Earthlings would thus be pointless, and in fact immoral, as there was no way the Earthlings who committed the act could comprehend its consequences in terms of how their actions might be considered by cultures external to their planet. Indeed, if we place the actions of the Earthlings within their own proper cultural context, it would appear that they did nothing wrong at all. The Minervans, on the other hand, believe as we do that planet assassination is immoral. Yet they willfully chose to act in such a way so as to provoke such behavior. Therefore the blood of 200 billion of Her Divine Majesty’s subjects is on their hands, and theirs alone. I ask the court that my clients be absolved and the Minervans punished for this heinouscrime.”

  “An interesting argument,” the Princess said. “I think that this might be a good time for the court to bring forward its expert witness.”

  “Thank you, Divine Princess,” the Admiral said. “May it please the court, we call Priestess 3rd Class Aurora to the witness stand. We also enter into evidence her Earthling specimen, Sergeant Andrew Hamilton, of the United StatesArmy.” He beckoned Aurora forward into the witness box.

  Aurora advanced to the designated area, keeping a tight control on Hamilton, who was obstinately trying to resist his assigned role. It did him little good. Within a few seconds she had him standing on the specimen foot-stars.

  “Divine Princess, Iobject!” Juneau seemed outraged.“The witness is a Minervan and has an obvious interest in defaming myclients.”

  “Objection noted, but overruled,” the Princess said. “The witness’ expertise is unique and indispensable to this court. We shall, however, be alert to any coloring of testimony to suit Minervan interests. Let the witness be warned that she is to expected to be strictly objective in her evaluations. The Court Chaplain may swear in the witness.”

  The Court Chaplain raised her right hand. “Priestess 3rd Class Aurora, in the name of the Triune Goddess, and her three attributes of Reason, Love, and Justice, do your swear to speak to this court Truth, all the Truth, and Only Truth?”

  Aurora looked at the Chaplain and saw an evil glint in the woman’s eye. It was clearly a trap. Aurora was being asked to take a heretical oath. If she did so, she would be dishonest and undoubtedly exposed as such. If she refused, her testimony would be discarded, with potentially catastrophic consequences for the Minervan settlers, as the proceedings would continue without their voice being heard. Still, there was nothing for it but honesty.

  Aurora raised her hand. “In the name of the one true Goddess, Minerva, giver of Reason and Wisdom, I so swear.”

  Junea was on her feet in a flash. “Divine Princ
ess! The witness has refused the oath. Can there be any greater proof of Minervan duplicity? She came to this court planning to lie. Her testimony cannot be accepted. Rather she and her specimen should be photolysized at once, as a lesson to all those who show such contempt for this court and everything it stands for.”

  There was scattered applause throughout the courtroom and among the courtiers. Aurora was terrified thatJunea’s recommendation might be approved. But then Admiral Phillipus spoke up.“Divine Princess, the witness was not showing contempt. It is unreasonable to ask a Minervan to swear by the Triune Goddess. She swore honestly, and should be respected for her integrity, all the more so since the incentive for her to pretend conformity to our faith was sohigh.”

  The Princess rubbed her pretty bare feet together thoughtfully. “I don’t know,” she mused. “She really should take the oath.”

  “Exactly,” said Junea. “Divine Princess, your infinite wisdom is never wrong.”

  “But,” continued the Princess, “as long as she is here we might as well hear her. After all, an oath is no guarantee of truth telling anyway.”

  “But…” said Junea.

  The Admiral interrupted her. “The Divine Princess is never wrong. The witness may now testify.”

  Chapter 16

  The Princess looked down on Aurora from her throne. “Priestess, you have devoted intensive study to the mental architecture of Earthlings, have younot?”

  “Yes, Divine Princess, I have.” The Princess leaned forward, her green eyes intense. “And what then have your studies revealed relative to the question of the sanity of the Earthlings?”

  Aurora steeled herself to stand up straight, and return the Princess’s gaze with respect but with dignity. The question was a very dangerous one; if she made the slightest misstep in her reply, those of ill will would twist her meaning with devastating results. If the Earthlings were seen as utterly irrational, the blame for their actions would be placed on the proximate rational creatures stimulating their activity, i.e. the Minervans. But if the Earthlings were described as fully rational, then the Minervan treatment of them would be portrayed as criminal oppression. There was a fine line to be walked, with disaster waiting on either side. Silently, she sent a brief prayer to Minerva for help. Sing in me, Goddess, she thought. Then she began to speak.