Dick Merriwell's Trap; Or, The Chap Who Bungled

by Burt L. Standish

  CHAPTER XXIV--A LONG WORD

  So Miguel Bunol triumphed for the time and remained in Fardale. Hesmiled over his success and felt that his power over Chester Arlingtonwas complete. At the same time, he chuckled at the thought that Chesterhad been able to sway Dick Merriwell, and Bunol was shrewd enough tounderstand how this had been accomplished. He knew all about Dick'sadmiration for June Arlington, and he had counted on that to win for himin case Chester could be made desperate enough to humble himself beforeDick.

  Chester felt mean enough. The fact that Dick had held his hand did notmake him, in his heart of hearts, any friendlier toward the captain ofthe football-team. He had been compelled to ask a favor of Dick, toalmost beg for it, to let Dick know he could cause him to leave Fardale!Ah! that was bitterness. Of course, Merriwell chuckled over it tohimself. Of course he would put on superior airs. Oh, it was hard toendure!

  Such thoughts as these made Chester satisfied that he hated Dick morethan ever before.

  "But I must not let him know it--now!" he said. "I've got to pretendthat I have changed to a friend! That is a part of the game. Some day,when I have crushed him--and crush him I will!--I'll laugh at him andtell him I always hated him. My day of triumph shall come!"

  Are you sure of it, Chester? Already you have tangled yourself in aterrible snare, and your efforts to escape may bring about your furtherentanglement. Already your plots and tricks have brought you to a pointwhere you have seen disgrace staring you in the face. Already by way ofpunishment you have been compelled to seek a favor of the lad you hateso bitterly--have been compelled to humble yourself to him.

  The plotting, crafty, wicked fellow may seem to succeed for a time. Hisplans may seem to go right, and his prosperity may cause those who knowof his crookedness to wonder; but surely the day comes when he finds hisplotting has brought about his undoing, when he realizes that at lasthis scheming has wrought disaster and disgrace for him. But ChesterArlington was young, and he had not learned this great lesson of life.He fancied that luck had brought about his present misfortune, not thatit was the direct result of his own bad acts.

  Of course Brad Buckhart expected Dick to drive Miguel Bunol from theschool, and he could not understand it at all when Dick decided to holdhis hand and let the Spanish lad remain. For once Dick did not make theexplanation full and complete. He did not confess to the Texan that thedeparture of Bunol from Fardale meant also the departure of Arlington,that Arlington's departure meant that his sister would come to thevillage no more, for which reason Dick did his best to hush the matterup and let it drop quietly.

  "I allow I never reckoned he was quite that easy," muttered theWesterner regretfully. "When I first knew him he had a temper like coldsteel, and he was forced to hold on to it all the time. Somehow he haschanged. Holding on to that temper has become easy for him, and he'smaster of it now for sure. All the same, he'd be the devil let loose ifit ever did break away so he couldn't control it. I judge he'd be allthe worse for having held it in check so long. If it ever does breakaway from him and he has real cause to kill somebody he'll do it quickerthan a flash of lightning."

  Brad believed that he understood Dick better than any other fellow inthe school did, and there was good reason why he should, being hisroommate and seeing so much of him. He knew Dick had not gained themastery over his quick temper and unreasoning disposition without astruggle, and he admired him for it.

  The agitation over Arlington's fight to get on to the athletic committeeand his sudden and amazing resignation from it had died out. No one savea certain few understood why Chester had resigned almost immediatelyafter being elected. Sometimes the boys talked it over a little andwondered at it.

  But things were moving at Fardale. Football-game followed football-game.The hockey-team had been organized and was making ready for an activeseason. The basketball-team had been in practise some time. There wastalk of an indoor baseball-team.

  Of course, athletics and sports were not the only things to take up thetime at the school. The boys had their studies and drills. The membersof the football-team had been excused from drilling during the season,but the others were put through their paces regularly. Of these drills,and inspections, and parades little need be said here, for thosecharacters in whom we are most interested had made up the football-teamand took no part in the exercises.

  But there were studies and lectures they could not miss. Professor Gunnmight be easy with them; not so Professor Gooch. He demanded theirattendance and attention in the class-room. He was opposed to athleticsof all sorts, and he took delight in detaining members of thefootball-team to listen to some dry-as-dust talk of his when they feltthat they should be out on the field getting in some practise.

  As Professor Gooch, his spectacles on his nose, droned away one dayabout the Punic Wars, and Hannibal, and Rome, and the destruction ofCarthage, Ted Smart noticed that Billy Bradley, who sat next to him, wasnapping. Ted thrust his elbow into Bradley's ribs.

  "Ouch!" grunted Billy, with a start and a snort.

  Professor Gooch looked at him severely and continued in his droningvoice:

  "Of the general character and history of the Carthaginians, from thefounding of the city down to the wars with Rome, less is known than ofany other great nation of antiquity."

  "I'm glad to see you are so interested, Sir William," whispered Ted, asBilly was dozing off again.

  "Eh?" grunted Bradley, with another start.

  "Er--er--hum!" snorted the professor, glaring at Billy over hisspectacles, while Ted sat up very straight and looked supremely innocentand interested.

  Billy was flustered and confused. He fancied the professor had asked hima question, and he retorted:

  "Ya-as, ya-as, Hi quite hagree with you, sir."

  Whereupon there was a suppressed titter, and the professor, thinkingBilly was trying to be "smart" and make sport, said:

  "This, is a matter of history, young man, and it makes little differencewhether you agree or not."

  "Hexcuse me!" gasped Billy, almost, collapsing.

  The professor continued:

  "With the exception of a few inscriptions on medals and coins, a scoreof verses in one of the comedies of Plautus, and the periplus of Hanno,not a solitary relic of Carthage has been preserved."

  "How sad!" whispered Smart. Then he snuggled over closer to Bradley.

  "Say," he whispered, "what's the longest word in the English language?"

  "Hi dunno," confessed Billy. "But Hi'll bet hanything Professor Goochuses hit hevery day."

  "Not so bad for you!" admitted Ted, for, as a rule, Billy was extremelydense and slow to see the point of a joke. "But you'll be surprised whenI tell you. The longest word, in the English language is smiles."

  Billy showed interest at first, then looked doubtful, mildly surprised,absolutely astonished, and finally positively rebellious.

  "Go hon!" he hissed back at Ted. "Hi know better! Hare you taking me fora fool?"

  "Oh, dear, no!" said Ted. "I wouldn't think of such a thing!"

  "Hi know a 'undred hother words that hare longer," whispered Bradley.

  "I'll bet you a treat you can't name one word longer than smiles,"returned Smart, with great earnestness.

  "Hi'll 'ave to go you. Hit's dead heasy. Hi'll give you the first wordHi think of. Hit's transubstantiation. 'Ow is that?"

  "It isn't a patch," asserted Smart. "Look at the short distance betweenthe first and last letters in that word."

  "Hey? Well, look at the shorter distance between the first hand lastletters hin your word. Hi 'ave got you!"

  "Not on your tintype! There is a mile between the first and last lettersin smiles."

  Billy gasped for breath and grew so excited that there was danger of hisagain attracting the attention of the droning professor.

  "A mile?" he gasped. "You hare a blooming hidiot! 'Ow do you make thathout?"

  "It's easy," assured Smart. "If you don't believe it, just knock off thefirst and last letters of smiles and spell what is
left. I'm sure youwill find it a mile."

  Billy frowned, glared, wrote "smiles" on the margin of a leaf in thebook he carried, drew a line after the first "s" and before the last"s," and found that there really and truly was a "mile" between thosetwo letters, whereupon he had convulsions and Professor Gooch paused andstared at him in wondering amazement.

  "Woo! woo! woof!" came in a series of explosive grunts from Bradley, whowas doing his best to "hold in."

  "Really, sir," said the professor severely, "if you feel as bad as thatyou may leave the room at once."

  "Woo! woo! Thank you, sir!" said Billy, and he hustled out to havefurther convulsions in the anteroom.

  Billy was waiting for the others when they filed out of the class-room.He took great delight in repeating any story that he heard. On thisoccasion he seized on Chip Jolliby as a fit subject to try the story onfirst.

  "Hi say, hold fellow," he said, locking arms with the lank chap. "Whatis the longest word hin the Henglish language?"

  "Ru-ru-ru-rubber," said Chip promptly.

  "Hi ham hin hearnest," declared Bradley. "What his the longest word?"

  "Ru-ru-ru-rubber," stuttered Chip, once more. "That's the longest word."

  "'Ow do you make that hout?"

  "Why, if it ain't lul-lul-long enough you can sus-sus-stretch it," saidJolliby, with a grin, but this did not satisfy Bradley.

  "You can't stretch hit long henough," he said. "Hi know a word with amile between the first hand last letters."

  "Now you sus-sus-stop," chattered Chip.

  "Hi can prove hit," insisted Billy.

  "What's the word?" demanded Jolliby.

  "It's laughs," declared Bradley triumphantly, giving the lank lad a pokein the ribs. "'Ow is that for 'igh? Hisn't that pretty good, eh?"

  To his surprise, Chip looked blank and puzzled.

  "Well, hif you ain't a chump!" exploded Bradley, in disgust. "Just spellbetween the first and last letters hand see hif hit hisn't a mile!"

  With which he released Jolliby and turned away, completely dismayed overhis ill success.

  Smart, who had kept near enough to hear all this, was forced to presshis hand over his mouth to prevent a shout of laughter.

  "Hi wonder what the matter was," thought Bradley. "'E didn't seem to seethe point. Hi'll try hanother fellow."

  He sidled up to Brad Buckhart.

  "Hi say, Buck'art," he said, "what is the longest word hin the Henglishlanguage. Give hit up?"

  "I reckon I'll have to, William," said the Texan. "What is the longestword?"

  He looked at Billy in such a way that the Cockney youth was confused andstammered:

  "Hit--hit's giggles. Hif you don't believe hit, just spell between thefirst hand last letters hand you'll find a mile. 'Ow his that?"

  The Texan looked Billy over.

  "Whatever kind of loco-weed have you been eating?" he exclaimed. "You'replumb loony for sure."

  Then he strode away, leaving Billy scratching his head and lookingextremely puzzled and bewildered.

  Ted Smart was enjoying this hugely. He approached Billy and spoke tohim. Bradley glared at Ted.

  "What is the matter with your blawsted blooming old joke?" he ripped outhotly.

  "Eh?" said Ted, in apparent surprise. "What's the matter? Why?"

  "Hi 'ave tried hit hon two fellows, hand hit didn't go hat hall."

  "What fellows?"

  "Jolliby and Buckhart."

  "No wonder it didn't go!" said Ted. "Those chaps are too dense to seethe point. Come on with me up to Merriwell's room. Some of the fellowsare going up there. Just you spring it there and see if you don't make abig hit with it."

  So Bradley was led away to Dick's room, where some of the boys hadgathered, it being a general gathering-place for the football-team.Singleton was there, lounging comfortably on a Morris chair. Merriwellwas talking to Dare and Douglass. Buckhart and Jolliby had dropped in.

  "Give it to them right off the reel," urged Ted, in a whisper to Billy.

  "Hi say, fellows," said Bradley, "what his the longest word hin theHenglish language?"

  Jolliby and Buckhart looked at each other in disgust.

  "What it is, William?" grunted Singleton.

  "Give it up?" asked Bradley.

  "Sure thing. What's the word?"

  "Hit--hit's grins," fluttered Bradley. "Hif you doubt hit, you'll findthere is a mile between the first and last letters. Hi can thrashhanybody who doesn't see the point!"

  Then, as nobody laughed, he began to tear off his coat, truly fightingmad.

  "You hare a lot hof blawsted thick-'eaded Yankees!" he raged. "Hover hinhold Hengland----"

  "Dear! dear!" said Smart. "Don't disgrace yourself, Sir William, bythrashing such dummies. It really takes the English to see the point ofa joke. Now, when I get a good thing I always take it to you, for I knowyou will be so quick to catch on!"

  This appeased Bradley somewhat, but he returned:

  "Hi don't believe they want to see hit! They never want to see hanythingwhen Hi tell hit."

  "It's very shameful," said Ted, winking at the others behind Billy'sback. "Any one should be able to see in a minute that there is a milebetween the first and last letters of smiles."

  Then, for the first time, the boys on which Billy had tried to springthe joke saw the point in it. Immediately they began to laugh, whichdisgusted the Cockney lad more than ever.

  "Look hat that!" he cried. "When Hi say hit nobody laughs; when you sayhit they hall catch hon him a minute. Hit's a put hup job!"

  "It may look that way, Billy," said Dick; "but I assure you that we havejust seen the point of the joke. We humbly beg your pardon. But I assureyou that smiles, with its mile between the first and last letters, isnot the longest word. I know one that is longer."

  "Hi doubt hit," retorted Bradley. "What is hit?"

  "It is longer," explained Dick.

  "Hi know you said so, but what is the word?"

  "It is longer," repeated Dick.

  "That's all right. Hit may be, but what is hit?"

  "I will spell it for you," smiled Dick. "L-o-n-g-e-r. Can't you see thatproves my claim. It is longer."

  Bradley paused with his mouth open. Slowly the point dawned on him. Heslapped his thigh and uttered an exclamation.

  "By Jawve! that's a good one! Hit's better than the hother one! ButHi'll wager hanything lots hof fellows will not see the point when Hispring hit hon them. Don't you know, Merriwell, Hi believe some peopleinherit their blawsted stupidity."

  "My dear Bradley!" exclaimed Dick, as if shocked. "It's not proper tospeak that way of your parents!"

  At this the others shouted with laughter, while Bradley was utterly at aloss to comprehend the cause of their merriment.

  "You're a 'ole lot of hiddiots!" he cried, his disgust breaking allbounds. "You heven laugh at a fool!"

  "Don't--don't cast reflections on yourself!" said Smart.

  Billy reached for him, but Ted knew better than to fall into thosemuscular hands, and he dodged away.

  "Hi'll 'ave nothing more to do with you!" declared the Cockney lad, ashe turned and stalked out of the room, and the laughter behind him addedto his disgust as he closed the door.