The Lottery

by D. K. Wall

  Nathan woke with a start, swatting away a fly buzzing around his face. The sky outside had morphed into a deep purple of dusk. Darkness cloaked the corners of the barn. He spied an owl perched high in the shadows of a rafter, eyeing the unwelcome intruder to the abandoned barn.

  Deep in the woods beyond the field, tires crunched on gravel, announcing an approaching vehicle. Nathan sat up, stretched, and yawned as the headlights bounced off the trees lining the narrow driveway. Danny’s van emerged from the woods and passed the old house on its trek across the field. He parked beside Nathan’s truck and extinguished his lights, dropping the barn back into shadows.

  The side door of the van opened, and the wheelchair descended on the lift. Danny reached back inside and lifted a heavy box, settling it into his lap. The smell of fried chicken floated through the air, making Nathan’s mouth water.

  Together, they unpacked the box onto the open tailgate of the truck, a makeshift picnic table for their buffet. Potato salad, slaw, green beans, and a large jug of iced tea joined the chicken in the tantalizing spread of food.

  Nathan realized how little he had eaten since the breakfast early that morning. A few nachos at Sammy’s had done little to satisfy his hunger. He searched the barn for a seat before emerging with an old milking stool and settling down beside Danny’s wheelchair. “Did you make all this?”

  Danny shook his head and slid a loaded plate in front of his friend. “All my mom’s home cooking here.”

  Nathan lifted a piece of chicken and inhaled deeply. “You asked your mom to make us dinner?”

  “Nope. She offered as soon as she found out I was coming here to meet you.”

  He bit into the chicken, savoring the juices as he watched Danny’s face. “How did she know?”

  “Because I was talking to her when you called.”

  “You were at the store?” Nathan cocked his head and chewed the food. “What brought that on? You almost never go there.”

  Danny sighed and looked across the darkening field. “She called me just as I was going back into Sammy’s. Asked how our lunch was—which meant she knew we were having lunch, so I figured you’d stopped by there earlier today. Seems the two of you did some talking about me.”

  Nathan grinned sheepishly. “I should have mentioned it, and I didn’t tell her about our conversation this morning. But we did talk about the store and you.”

  “It’s cool. I’m glad you did.” Danny set a chicken leg down on his plate and wiped his fingers with a napkin. “I know they’ve been ashamed of me, so it’s hard to go over there.”

  “Ashamed? Come on…”

  Danny raised his hand to stop him. “It’s okay. I don’t blame them. I’ve been ashamed of myself. And I don’t mean just the accident. Yeah, sure, that was it at first, but then it’s what I did after the accident. I didn’t want to be seen around town, knowing that everyone knew what I had done. And looking at me in this chair. So I just gave up.”

  “Danny…”

  “It’s true. I gave up. I sat in that stupid trailer every day, drank beer, and watched TV. I quit life. Stayed away from the store and everyone else. And the longer I stayed away, the harder it became to go back.”

  “You didn’t stay away from me.”

  “You’ve got that backwards. You kept coming by and calling. Would hang out in the trailer and watch TV. Fixed up that van for me and taught me how to drive it with the hand controls. Convinced me to go to Sammy’s and have a beer rather than hide in the trailer.”

  “Come on. That’s what friends do. Nothing special.”

  “But that’s the thing. It is special. It means everything to me. And it made me want to start living again.” Danny leaned back in his chair and smiled. “So I was thinking about what you said as you left Sammy’s, about not being sure if you had any fight left. And I realized what an utter lie that is. You’ve been knocked around more than anyone I know. And yet, every single time, you just get back up and start fighting.”

  Nathan shrugged. “What else can you do? That’s life.”

  “That’s my point. Some of us just quit, but you don’t. Just took me a little longer than you, but I decided I’m tired of being a loser.”

  “You’re not a loser.”

  “You’re right. Not anymore. I’m ready to stop being a loser. And the fastest way back is to go back to work in the store. After all these years of avoiding it. That’s what I need to do. I was trying to figure out how to tell my parents when you forged the path for me.”

  “They’d love to have you there.”

  “I know that now, thanks to you. Mom called and asked me to return. I said yes. I start Monday.”

  Nathan couldn’t help himself. He jumped to his feet and wrapped his friend in a bear hug. “That’s awesome!”

  Danny untangled himself from Nathan’s arms and laughed. “Glad you feel that way because I’m going back to the store—with or without you. But I’m hoping it’s with you. We need that garage open.”

  As darkness continued to gather, they ate and chatted about Danny’s plans for the store and, mostly, the deli. They talked about ways to expand seating and reconfigure the kitchen area by knocking down the side wall and adding some additional room.

  Once they were both full and picking at the remains, Danny reached into the box and pulled out a homemade strawberry pie. The early spring berries had been picked from Abe’s garden just that morning and converted to dessert by Martha. As he cut generous slices, he grew serious. “While I was at the store, I asked if Hank had come into the store and bought lottery tickets. Since we know that’s where the winning ticket was sold, if he didn’t buy them there, then we would know he stole yours.”

  “Please tell me he wasn’t there.”

  “Sorry. Dad said he came in around nine thirty Friday morning and plunked a twenty-dollar bill down. Spent it all on the lottery.”

  Nathan swatted away a fly. “So maybe he did buy tickets, but it doesn’t prove mine wasn’t the winner.”

  “True. All it proves is that he might have bought the winner, but it is a possibility.” Danny licked strawberry juice off his fingers. “But I’m wondering something else too. You said you told Donna about Hal’s job offer yesterday morning.”

  “Yeah, she didn’t like that very much.”

  “But why not?”

  Nathan held up his hand and counted off the three reasons. “First, she said fixing broken down trucks on the side of the interstate was too dangerous. And second, that it would cause me to miss Jacob’s ballgames. And finally, she wanted to get her old job back at McDonald’s and would be working nights and weekends. She needed me to take care of him.”

  “That’s what confuses me.” Danny popped another bite of pie into his mouth and chewed. After swallowing, he asked, “Why would she worry about you missing his ballgames? And why try to get her old job back? Why would any of that matter if she was planning to move to Atlanta?”

  Nathan scrunched his face as he traced his finger along the edge of the tailgate. “I don’t know. She was already seeing Hank, so she must have been thinking about moving.”

  “Maybe thinking about it, sure, but not like she had a timeline planned out. The only thing that makes sense to me is she wasn’t really planning for Atlanta Friday morning.”

  “You’re saying my catching them made that happen? Or that him winning the lottery did that?”

  “Not winning the lottery. When he told me about Atlanta, that was before he knew about the money, remember? So maybe catching them started everything. But she still had to realize everything was going to come out sooner or later.”

  “They were planning it because they had already talked to a divorce attorney.”

  “Yeah, but that’s weird too. Why would Hank go with her for that? That’s pretty ballsy, taking your lover to meet your divorce attorney.”

  Nathan flinched at the use of the word lover. “Well, Hank’s always been ballsy.”

  “Exactly, that’s my point.�
� Danny saw Nathan’s quizzical look and smiled faintly. “Hank, yes, but Donna? She has never been the one to push things like that. As you said, she didn’t want to break up with you in high school because she didn’t want to hurt you. She says she always wanted to leave Millerton, but she never did. She didn’t tell you for months that she was seeing Hank again. And she met with a divorce attorney and never told you. So why is she suddenly willing to make all these changes, hurt you, and tear Jacob away from here?”

  “Because she’s mad I caught them?”

  Danny shook his head. “But that’s not the way she acted when I talked to her this morning. She’s embarrassed you caught them, not angry about it. And, yeah, I think it’s a relief, too, because it forces her to make the changes she wants, but that’s very different than just leaving and never looking back.”

  Nathan pushed pie crumbs around his paper plate with the fork. “So you think Hank is driving everything? He’s pushing her to move to Atlanta?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Because he wants Donna so much? And Jacob?”

  Danny leaned back in his chair and stared at the sky. “That’s the part I really struggle with. He stayed away for a dozen years. Never tried to get in touch. Never tried to claim Jacob. But suddenly, he is trying to take them both away.”

  “He didn’t know until he took that DNA test.”

  “And how long ago?”

  “I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

  “But he said he discussed it with his mother, right?”

  Nathan’s head shot up, and he snapped his fingers. “She died five years ago.”

  “Exactly. So that wasn’t the spark.”

  Nathan slumped on the stool. “Of course not. He didn’t make the connection until he saw Donna over at Matt’s house.”

  “Come on. A girl in high school you’re sleeping with gets pregnant but marries someone else. You don’t wonder if the kid is yours again until you see her years later?”

  Nathan nodded and chewed his lip. “Maybe he meets Jacob, gets to know what a great kid he is, and that starts bugging him. He figures out that his weird genetic result could be a way to find out. And once he finds out, now he starts thinking of Jacob as his son.”

  “Yeah, maybe. I thought about that. But it doesn’t make sense to me that he just recently met Jacob since he and Luke have been best friends since they were in diapers. So in all those years, especially the years after Hank knew his unique ancestory, he never wondered. He only tested once he started seeing Donna again.”

  Nathan sat in silence before looking up. “So he falls for Donna and then starts wondering about Jacob. There isn’t any other reason unless you think he’s trying to hurt me.”

  “I’ve thought this through all day long, and that’s exactly what I’m wondering.”

  Nathan froze on the stool and held his breath. When he spoke, his voice was tense. “But why? What did I ever do to him?”

  “He’s always been jealous of you.” Danny laughed and waved his arm. “He was jealous of all of us.”

  “Jealous? Of what? We were all a bunch of dirt-poor kids. What did any of us have that he didn’t?”

  Danny paused and let the quiet of the night settle around them before speaking softly. “We were a foursome, but really, we were two pairs of best friends. You and Charlie were thick as thieves, and Hank and I ran together. He was different when you guys were around, but when we were alone, I heard all his rants. His dad—I guess he was Matt’s dad and his stepdad though Hank didn’t know that then—left when they were little, but our dads were around. His mom had to work nights and was never home, but we didn’t go home to empty houses. And even Matt, who lived in the same house, was way better in football. The way he saw it, everyone led better lives.”

  “It’s not like the rest of us were living perfect lives. We were all missing things.”

  “Hank could only see what others had that he didn’t. He was always ragging me that I had it made. Both my parents were around. I could take over my dad’s store when I got out of school. Life was set. When I tried to point out I had to work weekends and after school whether I wanted to or not, he would wave it off.”

  “That’s crazy.” Nathan continued, “And your parents may have been around, but neither Charlie or I had our moms around.”

  “But Charlie was great at school. Was going to college. His dad’s job was steady.”

  “Jesus.” Nathan squeezed his hands together. “What delusions did he come up with about me?”

  Danny interlaced his fingers and stretched as he exhaled. “He was more jealous of you than anyone.”

  “For what? My dad raised me alone. I didn’t have a store to go run. And I wasn’t a genius in school. And then my dad died. Who thinks an orphan is better off?”

  “That’s just it. Everyone always rallied around you.”

  Nathan’s mouth dropped open. “He’s jealous because of my bad luck?”

  “Your mom dies. What happens? Nora acts as mom to you and Charlie. Your dad loses his job, and Ronnie steps in with a place for you to stay so your dad can drive the truck. And when your dad died, he gives you a permanent home rather than let the state ship you off to a foster home or an orphanage. And in Hank’s mind, you did have a store to go to after school. Two of them. Ronnie wanted you to work for him at the plant, and I always talked about you working in the shop when I got back from the Marines.”

  Nathan could only slowly shake his head. “That is so warped.”

  “Yeah, very warped.” Danny stared out at the dark trees beyond the field before continuing softly. “The thing he really hated about you? You always had a girlfriend.”

  “Oh, come on, he had way more girlfriends than I ever did.”

  Danny smiled sadly. “No, he had way more girls but not a lot of girlfriends. You would date the same girl for months. Do homework together. Go to the movies. Just hang out.”

  “That is total insanity.”

  “It’s the way he thought back then.” Danny rubbed his hands across his face. “And I’m wondering if maybe it’s the way he still thinks.”

  “What can he be jealous of now? He’s down in Atlanta with this great job, making lots of money, and driving a brand-new car. I’m covered in grease every day and driving my dad’s old pickup.”

  “Think like him. You have to look at what you have he doesn’t.” Danny held up fingers as he counted off reasons. “You’re in your hometown surrounded by people who care for you and, until he appeared, a wife and kid. You’re doing exactly what you always said you wanted to do—fix things. You didn’t want to go to college or be in the military or even leave Millerton. You wanted to work with your hands.”

  “So what? Hank did what he wanted too.”

  Danny smiled. “Exactly. Did. Past tense. He wanted to be a Marine. That’s all he ever wanted to be. Sure, he got to do that for a few years, but now what? He drives rich jerks around and escorts them in and out of buildings. That can’t come close to being a big, bad Marine. He’s had a string of girls but no real relationships I know of. And he sure isn’t raising a family.”

  Nathan felt a weight settle in his stomach. “You think he did all this on purpose?”

  “On purpose?” Danny swirled the plastic cup of tea, the ice plunking against the sides. “No, I don’t think he ever schemed for ways to hurt us. I just think he reacts that way. Remember back in high school—Matt would have a great practice and the coach’s praise, so Hank would pick a fight with him. Some girl he never paid attention to would start dating one of us, and bam, Hank would start chatting her up. I think he just reacts to what he sees.”

  Nathan stared off across the field, processing what Danny was saying. “So you think he took Donna not because of some long-lost love but because she was with me?”

  “Maybe he does care for Donna. I don’t know. But I think he pursued her because she was with you.”

  “And Jacob?”

  Danny shrugged and looked off over t
he field. “I don’t know if that’s any different to him.”

  Darkness cloaked the field as they sat in silence, listening to the crickets and frogs singing in the night. They each mulled over their conversation, picking at it in their minds.

  Nathan could barely see the outline of his friend beside him though he could hear him sucking on an ice cube. “So what? What am I going to do about it?”

  Danny started and shifted in his chair. “What do you mean?”

  “If everything you just said is true, so what do I do? It doesn’t change the fact that he can prove Jacob is his son and Donna is moving with him to Atlanta.”

  “I think it changes everything.”

  “How?”

  “We’ve been assuming he and Donna are in full agreement.”

  “I caught them in bed together. They sure agreed on that.”

  “That doesn’t mean they agree on what’s best for Jacob. And it doesn’t mean they agree on cutting you out of his life.”

  “So, what do we do?”

  “Two things. First, you get an attorney. A good one. And figure out what your options are. If Hank is going to try to take Jacob from you, you have nothing to lose anyway.”

  “Visitation.”

  “I don’t think so because I can’t see Donna forbidding Jacob from seeing you.”

  “How do we know?”

  “That’s the second thing. I’m going to go talk to Donna again. I need to find out how much she agrees with Hank’s little plan.”

  “You think she’ll tell you?”

  “Yes, I do, as long as Hank isn’t around. She was open with me this morning, but I wasn’t thinking about this the way I am now, so I didn’t ask the right questions. If she refuses to talk to me, that tells us a lot too, but I think she will.”

  Nathan chewed on his lip. “Just one little problem with your two-step plan.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve got no money for a lawyer.”

  “Borrow it.”

  “With what?” Nathan slapped his hand on the tailgate and listened to the ring of metal. “My truck is collateral for my bail money. The house is mortgaged. I don’t even have my ring to hock. I don’t think a duffel bag of clothes will convince anyone to loan me money.”