Friends Without Benefits

by Marci Bolden

“Did he ever?” Paul shrugged when she looked at him. “From what you’ve told me, it was almost like he was king of the castle and you guys were the commoners living in the kingdom. You took care of everything. He never had to think about anything.”

  “You sound like you’re making excuses for him.”

  “I’m not. It’s just…my first marriage. That’s how we were. I worked and thought that’s all I ever had to do. She ran the house, raised the kids, paid the bills. I didn’t even know my kids. That’s where Mitch is. Now that you aren’t there, he’s going to start realizing how out of touch he is with life but most especially with his own kids. Tonight was probably a big blow for him.”

  “He’s such an idiot.”

  “That I can’t explain.”

  She chuckled as she looked at him with that strong determination that she mustered up whenever things were going wrong, and his heart ached.

  He stroked her hair. “What is it?”

  “I just don’t know how we’re going to get him a new car right now.”

  “It would be great for Sam if Mitch stepped up, but if he doesn’t, don’t feel like you can’t come to me.”

  “Thank you, but I’m not taking money from you.”

  “I just want to make this easier for you.”

  She slid her arm around him and snuggled close to him. He was helpless. He had no choice but to hold her back.

  “This helps,” she whispered.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  She rolled her head back to look at him. Her face was just inches from his, and a gust of warm breath hit him as she sighed. It smelled of the peppermints on the ER receptionist’s desk, and Paul instantly thought about how her tongue would taste—cool and minty—against his. He dug his fingers into her side as they stared at each other, and finally he gave in and pulled her closer as he leaned down. Dianna dragged her hand up his chest and threaded her fingers into his hair as he pressed his mouth to hers.

  Dear God, she tasted as good as he’d thought she would. Hot and cool at the same time, tingly from the peppermint, and as he slid his tongue over hers, she moaned in appreciation. He brushed his other hand, the one that hadn’t been around her, up her side, and she arched into his touch. He broke free and licked away what was left of her kiss on his lips.

  “How do you feel after seeing him?” The question had nagged at him, but he hadn’t thought he’d voice it until it was out of his mouth.

  “I don’t know. I was too worried and angry to really process it. Has he always been that condescending?”

  Paul smiled. “I wouldn’t know.”

  “I think he has, and I just ignored it. Like I ignored everything else.”

  “Like he ignored you.”

  “I guess.”

  He brushed his thumb over her mouth. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

  “Are you going to apologize every time you kiss me?”

  He smiled at her teasing, but his grin faded quickly and he traced her lips again. “I have a hell of a time controlling myself around you these days.”

  “That’s such a terrible thing.”

  “It is when I’m determined to do things right from now on. I should go.” He untangled himself from their embrace. “Call me and let me know how Sam is doing tomorrow. If he’s up for it, we can go over to the dealership and figure out what kind of car he’d like. I don’t know if Matt can do anything, but at least it’s a place to start.”

  “Thank you, Paul. I would have been a mess if you hadn’t been here tonight.”

  He wanted to kiss her again, but they’d probably sent enough mixed signals for one night. He took her hand and pulled her up from the sofa. They walked to the front door, where he slipped into his coat. When he was ready to leave, rather than a kiss like he wanted, he winked and reached for the door. “Get some rest, Di. You look exhausted.”

  She closed the door behind him. Huddled in his jacket, he hurried to his car and slid in, cursing the cold January night. He started his car as the downstairs light went out. A minute later, the light in her bedroom filtered through the curtains.

  He hated that he was going home alone. He wanted to slide into her bed and hold her all night. He didn’t need more than that—he would be perfectly happy just having her body next to his. But then the nagging started in the back of his mind. They were getting in too deep, and someone’s heart was going to get broken. He wasn’t up for that, not so soon.

  Pushing his loneliness and regret from his mind, he backed out of her driveway and headed home.

  Dianna wasn’t surprised when she found Mitch standing at her door the next day.

  “Morning,” he said, giving her an uncertain smile as she opened the door. “The doorbell still sounds like a dying cow, huh?”

  She stared at him, in absolutely no mood to make small talk.

  “Uh, can I come in?”

  Dianna hesitated before moving aside and gesturing for him to enter the house he hadn’t stepped foot inside since the night he’d walked out, bags in tow, while she’d sobbed on the stairs. Despite catching him, despite knowing without a doubt that he’d had an affair, she’d begged him not to leave. What an idiot she’d been.

  He gestured over his shoulder to the sign in the yard. “You’re selling the house?”

  “Yes.”

  He waited, likely expecting an explanation, but she didn’t offer one.

  “Is that your car out there?”

  “Yes.”

  “You got rid of the Suburban?”

  “Yes.”

  “Lots of changes in such a short time, don’t you think?”

  She cocked one brow at him. “Not as drastic as a new wife, but we all gotta start somewhere.”

  He sighed, that same disapproving sound he’d used for the last twenty-plus years. “Is Sam up yet? I thought we could go look at cars.”

  “I’ll go get him.”

  “Wait, Di.” He reached out but dropped his hand before touching her. “Look, I’m sorry about last night. I have no right commenting on your life.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I know things are a mess right now, and that’s my fault. I didn’t sleep very well. I kept thinking about what Sam said. I didn’t know things were so bad for you guys.”

  “Oh, come on. How could you not know, Mitch? You’re a financial advisor, for God’s sake. How did you think that we could afford to live on the hundred-fifty dollars a month child support you’re paying? That doesn’t even feed him. How was I going to make the house payment, and the truck payment, and the utilities, and the fees for his activities, and help Jason get by at school, and everything else? Don’t tell me you didn’t know. You didn’t care.”

  “That’s not true. I just… I never let myself think about it.”

  “Because it wasn’t about you.”

  “Don’t do that. I’m trying to apologize.”

  “Oh.” She scoffed. “Well, excuse me. Let me just brush everything aside because you apologized. You want to know why he’s so angry, Mitch? You want to know why your kids didn’t show up for your wedding? Because you didn’t just leave me for Michelle. You left them, too. You walked out of this house, and you never looked back. You left us completely in over our heads.”

  “They never asked me for money. If they weren’t so damned proud—”

  “It isn’t pride, Mitch. For God’s sake, are you so blind? Asking you for help is like telling you it’s okay that you walked away as if we meant nothing to you.”

  “That’s not how it was.”

  “Oh, spare me. I was standing right there.” She pointed at the stairs. “I watched you leave. You haven’t had a single concern for us since.”

  “Goddamn it, that is not true!”

  “Then where have you been? Where the hell were you when I had to choose between paying the electric bill and feeding your son?”

  “He was screwing his fiancée,” Sam said
casually. “Where else would he be?”

  Dianna hadn’t realized she’d been leaning toward Mitch and yelling in his face until she took a breath and stood upright. “Your father is here to see you.”

  “I heard.”

  Dianna went back to the kitchen where she’d been cleaning the stove when the doorbell rang. She scrubbed at a bit of burned-on food, taking her frustrations out on the glass top.

  Bastard.

  Sam walked in a few minutes later, and she shrugged. “Sorry. He made me mad.”

  “He deserves it. He wants to buy me a car. Like, not even demand that I pay half. He just wants to buy me a car.”

  She grabbed a towel and started drying her hands. “Well, you should let him do that.”

  “I’m going to. He, um, he wondered if you wanted go. He said we could stop at the grocery store on the way back. His treat.”

  She laughed bitterly. “No, thanks. You guys can go shopping. Get whatever you want.”

  Sam hovered at the door. “You okay?”

  “I will be. Hey, Sam?” she called when he started to leave.

  “Yeah?”

  “Get lots of really expensive meat. We’ll have pot roast and steaks this week. His treat.”

  He smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”

  He left, and she exhaled some of the anger brewing inside her. Maybe this was the eye-opener Mitch needed. Maybe he would start helping her take care of the kids now. Maybe things would be a little bit easier. She could only hope.

  Her phone rang a few minutes later. “Morning,” she said, trying to sound cheerful after seeing Annie’s name on the caller ID.

  “Hey, we’ve got a bite on the house. The other agent would like to show it in about an hour. Can you be gone?”

  The reality of having strangers walk through her house hit Dianna like a sledgehammer to the heart. She suddenly couldn’t breathe.

  “Dianna?”

  “Yeah. I can be gone in an hour. Could you maybe, uh… Could we look at some places? Do you have time?”

  “Sure,” she said enthusiastically. “Meet me at the office? I’ll see what I can get lined up.”

  “Perfect. Thanks, Annie.”

  She ended the call and bit her lip. What if whoever looked at her house loved it? What if they made an offer? What if she actually had to sell her home?

  She started to call Paul—she wanted to tell him about her confrontation with Mitch and ask him to go with her to look at houses—but she hesitated. They’d agreed to put some space between them, yet the first time they’d seen each other, they had ended up kissing. Even though he had asked her to call and check in with him, it probably wasn’t a good idea to spend the day house hunting with him, especially when she was still so worked up over Mitch. Besides, she doubted he would appreciate Annie scrutinizing their every word.

  She called Kara instead.

  After her long day, the last thing Dianna wanted was to deal with Mitch again, but when she pulled into the driveway, his truck was parked behind a sporty-looking red car. Sam must have worked Mitch’s guilt to get that out of him. She was considering backing out, leaving them alone, when the front door opened and Mitch stepped out. That put an end to her debate. He was leaving, so she could go in and enjoy some peace. She took her time gathering her things, looking busy, hoping he’d climb into his truck and leave, but when she glanced up, he was walking toward her car. She sighed and silently prayed for strength not to kill him as he opened her car door.

  “I like this,” he said, nodding toward her car. “It suits you.”

  She stood in front of him and tilted her head. “Used and cheap suits me?”

  He smiled, but his lips fell and he cleared this throat when he realized she wasn’t joking. “Did you see that?” Mitch gestured toward Sam’s new car. “He, uh, really knows how to twist a knife, doesn’t he?”

  She nodded slightly. “Mm-hmm.”

  “We went to the store and stocked you guys up on groceries,” he said as she started to step around him. He laughed, but it was tense. “I had no idea you could spend so much on food.”

  She lifted her brows in response. “Well, how could you when you’ve never had to lift a finger to take care of yourself?”

  His face sagged at her bitter comment. “Look, um, I am sorry, Di. That you’ve been struggling. I never wanted that. I’m going to call my attorney on Monday and make some changes to the child support. I’ll get him to put in something for alimony, too.”

  She exhaled some of her frustration. “I don’t want alimony, Mitch. If you can help take care of the boys, I can take care of myself.”

  He nodded. “I know you can. But you don’t have to, not when I can help.”

  “Help the boys. You have no obligation to me, and I don’t want to feel obligated to you. Okay?”

  He held her gaze for a long moment before nodding. “Sam said you texted him that you were going to look at some houses today. Did you find anything?”

  “I did.”

  He looked around the yard, at the tree where there used to be a tire swing for the boys, at the fire hydrant on the curb where they used to pretend they were firefighters, and then up at the house. “You really want to sell this place?”

  “No, I don’t, but my only other choice is foreclosure. I may not have your financial know-how, but that seems a bit foolish to me.”

  He frowned at her. “If you want to stay, you could refinance so the payments were less.”

  “That requires a down payment—”

  “I’ll help.”

  She rejected his offer with a shake of her head. “I don’t want your help. Not for me, anyway. Besides, refinancing just means dragging out the payments. There’s enough equity in the house that I can buy something smaller and actually afford the payments and groceries.”

  “But this is our house, Di. This is our home. This is where everything happened.”

  His words stung her, and her feelings of defensiveness and bitterness returned.

  “Our home? Our home, Mitch? Yes, it used to be our home, but it isn’t anymore. You got your fresh start. It’s time I get mine, too, even if I have to make some hard choices to get it.”

  “I don’t want you to have to sacrifice because of my choices.”

  “Really? Because I had to start making sacrifices the moment you left. This is my life now, Mitch, the life you handed to me. I am doing what I have to do to take care of my kids, and unfortunately, that means selling my house.”

  “Dianna, if you need money, I will give it you.”

  She smirked at him. “Oh, honey, that’s so sweet of you. Really. But I doubt your new wife will want you keeping your old one tucked in your back pocket. Then again, she didn’t mind sharing you before, did she?”

  He flinched, like her words had cut him, and then he set his jaw.

  She held her head high and stepped around him. As she walked toward her house, she realized what she’d told him was true. It was time for her fresh start. It was time to stop hanging on to the past so she could embrace the future. Whatever that may be.

  She didn’t look back as she walked away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Paul smiled when Dianna looked up from the reception desk. She grinned in response, and a warmth spread through his chest.

  “Hey,” she said. “How are you?”

  “Hungry. I was in the neighborhood for a meeting and thought I’d snag you for some Mexican food. You free?”

  She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I will be in seven minutes.”

  “Perfect. Is my sister in?”

  “Yes. Go on back. Would you like some coffee?”

  “I know where it is.” Serving clients may have been her job, but he wasn’t going to have her waiting on him. He hung his coat on the rack and fought the urge to sneak over and kiss her cheek. Instead, he gave her a wink and walked back to Annie’s office.

  She glanced up when he walked in. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  “I came to st
eal Di for lunch.”

  Annie smirked but didn’t say anything. “Tell her to come in here, will you?”

  “Annie,” he warned.

  She dropped her reading glasses on the desk. “Oh, simmer down, Romeo. I just got an offer on her house. I want to discuss it with her.”

  “That was pretty fast.”

  “It’s a great house in a great location.”

  “I wonder how she’s going to take this.”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  Paul stuck his head out of Annie’s office. “Hey, Di, come here.”

  She pushed herself up and walked to him. She was wearing black slacks and a navy blue fitted blouse, nothing spectacular, but damned if his body didn’t think otherwise. He swallowed and forced his eyes to hers instead of taking in every curve of her body.

  “We got an offer,” Annie said as Dianna sat across from her. “They low-balled, so we should definitely counter.”

  Dianna’s cheeks paled, and she stared at Annie for a few moments before nodding.

  Annie continued. “Let’s start with offering to drop the price two thousand and cover closing costs. Sound good?”

  She sighed. “Sure.”

  “You okay?”

  Dianna nodded again. “I thought it would take longer. That’s all.”

  Paul put his hands on Dianna’s shoulders, ignoring the way Annie watched him. “Remember how much easier things are going to be without that hefty payment.”

  She nodded. “The house with the loft that we looked at this weekend, can we look at it again?”

  “I’ll schedule something.” Annie made some notes on the papers in front of her and slid them to Dianna. “Sign these, and we’ll see what they say.”

  Dianna scrawled her name where Annie pointed and pushed the pages back. “Thanks.”

  “Let me check on when we can get into the loft house.”

  Paul took the seat next to Dianna and grabbed her hand. “How’s Sam?” he asked softly while Annie made a phone call.

  She sighed and flicked her gaze to him. “Sam’s fine, but Mitch has been hanging around.”

  Paul’s defenses went into overdrive. “Why?”