Dirty Little Secret: The Damaged Series - Book One

by Shayne McClendon

  “She is.” He bent to kiss her forehead. “Our traditions can be your traditions now. You’ll be part of our family no matter what...but you should definitely marry me, Kendall.”

  She gasped so hard that she choked. “Jared!”

  He laughed. “Come on. You still know me better than anyone else. You have from the start. You were the first person to meet the real me. I know we’re grown now, different in a lot of ways, but I think we’re probably the same at the core of ourselves.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying, Jared…”

  “That’s not true and you know it. You should marry me and we’ll live happily ever after.” Her mouth opened and closed several times without sound and he winked. “You’re freaking out. I’ll give you time to process.”

  Scooting her to the side, he picked up the knife and started rapidly chopping onions the way his mother taught him. He scraped everything into a bowl and proceeded to dice garlic, squash, and tomatoes. By the time he was done, Kendall hadn’t moved or spoken.

  “Y-you cook.”

  “Lots of free time on my hands. Mom’s an excellent teacher.” Washing and drying his hands, he carried the bowl to the stove and heated a pan. While the butter melted, he put music on his phone and sang along badly.

  He prepared the sauce, pasta, and opened a bottle of wine from her fridge. Guiding her to the small kitchen table, he placed everything in front of her and returned with his own.

  Pointing at the plate with his fork, he said, “You eat, think some more. After dinner, I’m going to clean up. When I’m done, I’m going to give you a head-to-toe massage. We’ll shower, and then I’m going to make love to you again.”

  He did all the things he promised and pulled her into conversation about everything that she’d experienced since she left Tomina.

  Hours later, limp and relaxed, Jared held her in bed. He kissed the top of her head. “You make me come harder than I ever thought possible, Kendall. From day one. Not one person has ever made me think about love but you. No one ever made me think about a future with them in it. You set a high standard and, even when I tried, no one met it. If I’m going to get married, love one woman for the rest of my life, it’s got to be you.”

  There was nothing she could say to change his mind.

  He fell in love with Kendall when he was eighteen and it stood the test of time. Being with her wasn’t a memory. It was a promise. They had gone on with their lives, had other lovers, and cycled through careers. He grew up.

  For almost a decade, he loved a woman who fascinated him, made him think, and caused his heart to race.

  Given everything they’d been through, he believed he’d feel the same way about her in another decade or four.

  Finally, she cleared her throat and said nervously, “You can’t make a decision like that after one day together, Jared.”

  The words made him laugh. “That’s a silly ass thing to say and you know it.” Her eyes lifted to his in the low light of her bedroom, as if trying to read his thoughts. “You want to say yes…so say yes, Kendall.”

  “It could be dangerous. You haven’t considered…” He put one finger over her lips.

  “Let me stop you right there, sweetheart. I’ve thought about it until my head spun. I have resources and so do you. You look different now. You’re leaner. Your hair is shorter, and you changed your style.”

  “You recognized me…”

  He shrugged. “I love you. I was looking for the woman I spent months exploring head to toe with my entire body. An exploration I intensely enjoyed, by the way.”

  Raking his fingers through her silky curls, he winked. “It’s time to hide in plain sight. If you’re miserable and afraid, what good is surviving anyway? We do what we can to protect ourselves and never take one moment together for granted. Marry me and let’s be one of those couples that makes everyone around them insanely jealous.”

  “It’s a big risk,” she whispered. “It could legitimately put you and your family in danger.”

  “Life is a risk. Keep your house here. We’ll go back and forth between Boulder and Tomina. Somewhere else if that’s what you want. Let’s do this thing balls to the wall.”

  She worried her lower lip.

  No matter what, she wasn’t going to keep wandering the world on her own. She belonged in his life and in his arms.

  He refused to settle for less.

  “Jared, if anything happened to you…” He quirked his brow and she sighed. “I love you. Yes.”

  “Let’s celebrate.”

  Naked, he pulled her up on her knees and moved behind her. Lightly brushing her hair off her shoulder, he trailed his lips along her delicate skin.

  Moving closer, he settled back on his heels and pulled her over his cock, stroking deep. It was the same position they’d been interrupted from completing their last day together.

  “I think back to that afternoon, right before my well-meaning friends busted through the door.”

  The back of Kendall’s head rested on his shoulder and she used gentle movements of her hips to deepen his thrusts.

  Jared kissed and licked down her neck. “Just recalling a moment of our time together always makes me hard. Every time I came, it was your face in my head. When you left, my body ached, my heart worried, and my mind told me you were out there, waiting for me to find you.”

  Her movements increased in strength and speed as he touched her, talked to her, made love to her.

  “I want to know you’re safe when I wake up beside you, able to hold you like this.” His fingers slid over her clit. Cupping her breast in his palm, testing its weight, he pinched her sensitive nipple. “I want to feel you around me, hot and wet, as my cock pushes deep inside you. I love feeling you come.”

  “Jared…”

  “I want to shower with you, eat meals together, and argue over stupid crap. I want us to take care of each other. I don’t want you to be alone anymore and I don’t want to be without you.”

  Lifting her, he took control and felt her tighten, her body ready to go over the edge. “Come for me, Kendall. Let’s finish what we started a decade ago.”

  Jared powered into her, gliding his hands over her body as she imploded, her inner walls constricting, squeezing him like a vise. She whispered his name and he roared hers, holding her hard as his own release broke free of his control.

  It felt so good, so hot.

  She whispered, “We haven’t used protection today.”

  “I know,” he admitted. “I realized when we left the foyer. I don’t care and you shouldn’t either.”

  “I’m not on anything. I haven’t been in a long time.”

  Jared laid her down as he stretched out along her side. “In for a penny, in for a pound.”

  “You know, a marriage between us wouldn’t actually be legal. All my documents are forged. I haven’t had anything real in years. I couldn’t prove my true identity if I had to.”

  “You don’t have to prove shit. That’s a bridge we’ll cross if we get to it. What does that have to do with you being knocked up with our love child?”

  She blinked. “Are you kidding?”

  “I’m sure you’re running all the possible scenarios through your head and have already thought of a hundred things that could go wrong.” He laid his palm over her bare stomach. “I’ll focus on all the things that can go right.”

  “You’re an optimist.”

  “You used to say I had unrealistic expectations. Thanks for the upgrade.” He laughed at her stillness. “You’re a realist.” He rubbed harder, shaking her entire body until she smiled. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”

  “What about…?”

  “Nope.” He kissed her silent and kept kissing her until she moaned into his mouth. “Take a deep breath, Kendall. I refuse to let you stress over what might happen. We take one day at a time.”

  He watched her inhale carefully. “I love you, Jared.”

  “I’m damn glad to hear
it because I love you to distraction.”

  He spent a few minutes blowing raspberries on her stomach. Laughter led to sighs and it was almost midnight when they crashed. It felt amazing to wrap his body around Kendall and listen to the soft sounds she made while she slept.

  Nuzzling his face into her hair, he whispered, “This is everything I wanted. You safe in my arms. Believe in me. I won’t let you down.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The next morning, they showered and made breakfast together. After so much time apart, such simple things felt like luxuries.

  Jared would never take their second chance together for granted.

  After they cleaned up, Kendall took him into her studio. He was amazed at how many photos there were of him and the two of them together.

  She walked to one hanging above her drafting table. “This is one of my favorites. You accidentally fell asleep. You didn’t usually do that but you had two practices that day.”

  He was stretched out on his stomach, his head on his arms, the sheet barely covering his lower body. One leg was exposed, the curve of his hip, and the slope of his ass.

  “You’re a beautiful subject, Jared.”

  He took out his wallet and showed her the ratty picture he’d carried with him since the day she left. The one he found in her darkroom.

  Softly, he told her, “This is my favorite because you’re laughing. It’s stunning. The others I copied, enlarged, and framed. They’re on my office wall. Most people comment on them.” He turned and took her in his arms. “This time, we tell everyone we’re together. No secrets, no sneaking around, no hiding.”

  She nodded but it was hard to hide her nervousness.

  They spent two glorious days in bed, cooking, and talking about everything that happened while they were apart.

  On the third day, she shocked the hell out of him when she showed him a duffle bag holding almost a million dollars in cash.

  Arms crossed, she stared at it and explained, “Dad had ten safe deposit boxes across the United States. They have to be accessed in a specific order and each one contains another box inside with a combination. You have to open one, remove the IDs in it to access the next one. Each holds a million in diamonds, gold coins, or cash. Dad sold everything except the estate. He put that in his brother’s name when we left Colombia.”

  She rubbed her upper arms as if chilled. “There was almost twenty thousand in the safe room with me when the house was breached. It was in a belt around my waist. Everything else from the tenth case was taken by his killers. This is what’s left from the ninth one.”

  Jared stared at the the money with wide eyes. His football career made him a millionaire but he’d never seen so much in stacks like this. “This is a little overwhelming.”

  “One thing we never lacked was money. There was plenty of that. It didn’t save either of my parents.” Kendall struggled not to cry. “I’d give up every cent in every location to have them back.”

  “I know it. I’m so sorry.” He gathered her in his arms and held her firmly as she wept quietly. “We don’t need to use your money so we’ll leave it where it is. I want you to always have a backup plan...but you won’t need it.”

  It was a miracle she’d survived more than a decade of running from the drug cartel intent on ensuring her silence by whatever means necessary. He doubted most people on their hit list lasted so long.

  Jared stroked her hair back from her face. “Let’s get married here. A little wedding at the courthouse. When you get all your new identification as Kendall Stalzer, we’ll head home. Until we head back, my mom will keep an eye on my place.”

  “You have to be sure, Jared…”

  Kissing her silent, he leaned back to stare into her eyes. “I’m sure. There’s not a single doubt in my mind about making you my wife.” He smiled. “We can spend a few weeks in Tomina and come back here for a while. This is your first house and I know it’s important to you.”

  “My first anchor to a normal life,” she admitted.

  “It’s a beautiful house and we can spend as much time here as you want. Hell, we can live here and travel to Oregon when I need to do business.”

  Reaching up, she held his face. “No, Jared. You have a full life there and family. For now, we’ll split the time evenly. We have time...and I never thought we would.”

  Jared kissed and hugged her for a long time. “I’m going to make up for all the things you didn’t get to do, didn’t get to experience after you went into hiding with your dad.”

  She grinned. “I’d love to visit Disney World. I’ve never been to a place like that.”

  “It goes on the list. What else?”

  “All the tourist attractions in New York City. I spent a year there after my faked funeral but I had to stay inside.”

  “I love New York. Tell me more. You’re making your future birthdays and our anniversary stupidly easy to plan for, honey.”

  “This feels like a dream, Jared. I’m scared.”

  “Walking out your front door in the morning is a risk, Kendall. Not just for you. You never know what’s going to happen when you wake up but you can’t live your life in fear. We do what we can to protect ourselves and we live.”

  For a long time, she stared into his eyes. Then she whispered, “I haven’t dreamed about the future, a real future, since my mother died.”

  “Dream away. I’ll do what I can to make them come true.”

  Pulling him down for a kiss, she whispered, “You’re already doing it.”

  He took her back to bed and made love to her all afternoon. When he drifted into an exhausted sleep as the sun was setting, Jared had a few dreams of his own.

  * * *

  Six weeks later, they pulled into the driveway of the home where they’d fallen in love and Kendall looked at Jared in confusion.

  “Is this the same house?”

  “Oh yeah.” He turned off the car with a grin. “Stay put. I’ll come around.” Opening her door, he handed her to the pavers. “Let me show you around.”

  Gasping, she asked, “You own the house?”

  “Yup.”

  “You bought the house where we fell in love?”

  “I did.”

  “Even though I’d been gone for a decade?”

  “Crazy, right?” Extending his hand, she put hers in it and he smiled at the wedding set they’d picked out together. “Being here, even if you weren’t with me, reminded me to think bigger. I never wanted to slip back into that selfish jock I used to be. I wanted to make you proud - whether I ever saw you again face to face or not.”

  She whispered, “You’re incredible.”

  “If I am, it happened because I met you.” Tucking her hand through his arm, he headed up the walk to the front porch. “I moved the driveway around the side and expanded the old garage into an office. I like looking out on the street.”

  Kendall frequently gasped as he led her from room to room. She couldn’t believe the changes, how different and yet, still the same it was. He showed her that the safe room still existed and she looked relieved. She put the bag of cash there.

  He brought in the rest of their things and hung the photograph Big Country bought him in their bedroom.

  “Take a nice soak and I’ll make food. Take your time. I’m going to keep it simple. Steak salad and bread. Mom picked up some basics for me when I told her we were heading back.” With a wink, he added, “Brace yourself for an invasion tomorrow. They won’t be able to stay away longer than that.”

  Planting a smacking kiss on her lips, he headed downstairs.

  * * *

  Kendall soaked for a long time. When she came out, she walked around the house barefoot looking for Jared. She found him in the basement as music drifted up the stairs.

  Her husband had his back turned to her, lighting candles in groupings around the room. She couldn’t help but gasp at the beauty of the space.

  It was set up almost exactly as she’d originally had it. He’d
placed her quilt over her old platform bed, hung several of her photos around the room, and set a small dining table.

  He turned to her with a smile. “I thought we could eat down here like we used to when I brought food. Make love and act ridiculous.”

  Walking to him, she placed her palm on his cheek. “Thank you for loving me despite everything telling you to move on.”

  Turning his face, he kissed her palm. “You hit me like lightning. I honestly tried to make it happen again but...it never happened. It seems crazy, maybe even obsessive, but I was changed by the time I spent with you in this room.” He shrugged. “I loved you then. I love you now.”

  “I love you so much, Jared.”

  Bending to kiss her gently, he murmured, “Let me feed you and then I want to make love to you here. I want to close the chapter that started the first time I touched you against that wall.” Straightening, he added, “Then we’ll start a new chapter featuring the man and woman we are right now. I think it will be epic.”

  “Yeah,” she said through happy tears, “I think so, too.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  September 2016

  They ate and stretched out on the bed. Kendall’s head rested on his shoulder and he stared at the pale purple ceiling.

  “I think we should always keep this space like this. Our own little getaway right downstairs. We’ll be sixty and still feel young, remembering ourselves at eighteen in this room.”

  “I love that idea,” she said with a smile in her voice.

  He rolled her, holding himself above her, and ran his fingers through her hair. “I’ve never been as happy in my entire life as I am now, having you home, having you as my wife. Thank you for taking a chance on us.”

  She exhaled roughly and blurted, “I’m pregnant.”

  His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “You are? How do you know?”

  “I bought a test when we stopped for gas this morning. I took it upstairs before my soak. At the hotel yesterday, I came across tampons and realized I hadn’t used any since you arrived in Boulder. It got me wondering.” She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. “The stakes are higher now, Jared. Are you still sure?”