by Emily Bex
The thought of Luca's offer rings through his head and he knows Luca is the only source of survival for him right now, and if he doesn’t feed soon, he could kill her, drain her, and his hunger is progressing. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he sits there wondering where the hell his leathers are and then remembers the bathroom.
Walking to the bathroom, he sees the mess and knows she has probably seen this as well. Sticking his hand in the pocket of his leathers, he grapples around until he finds the small red gems she gave him. Holding the heart shaped rubies in his hand, he rolls them around, staring at them. Her love is right here in his hand. Bringing the biggest gemstone to his lips, he kisses it and grabs some jeans. Sliding the gems into his pocket, he heads downstairs. The closer he gets, the worse the hunger roars, and her scent is like a stab at his gut, his craving ripping through him. He sees her and stops dead in his tracks, he can’t breathe, he can’t swallow, and his mouth is so dry. She turns to him and he must muster every ounce of control to stop from feeding from her.
***
Kate hears him on the stairs and her heart skips a beat. After his sudden departure last night, without telling her anything, after his night-long absence and the blood-soaked clothes, after Luca's cryptic non-response, she has no idea what to anticipate. But she is almost weak with relief that he is up, and home. She walks slowly toward the stairs. Does he want to see her? Luca said she was not the source of his anger, but he has blocked her from his thoughts and she feels so lost from him. As she enters the hallway to the stairs, he is stepping down from the last step and stops and stares at her. She wants to run to him, but something is warning her off as she stops as well and locks eyes with him.
“Shade, what is it? Please tell me how I can help you.”
He holds up a hand as if to push her back, he can’t bear for her to touch him. He was not prepared for the onslaught of hell that starving for her would bring, and his body is ready to cave and his voice shakes. His voice is low and weak and he fucking hates that she is seeing him like this.
“It is not you, mi amore.” He closes his eyes as her scent pounds over him like a jackhammer, “Don’t come any closer.” His breathing is labored. “I just need Luca, and everything will be all right, I promise. Please don’t come after me. I am going to Luca's suite.”
Before she can move or say a word, he rushes to the suite and Luca better be there or Shade will end up draining her to her deathbed, killing both Kate and their unborn child.
***
Kate feels only confusion. He is sick? Shade is sick? What can Luca do for him that she can't? She wants to run after him, but the pleading look in his eyes, the raised hand, something keeps her planted where she stands as she watches him rush to Luca’s quarters and close the door behind him.
***
Reaching Luca's suite, he tries to remain calm, but he has no idea what to say to him when suddenly Luca opens his door. Luca already knows why he is here. He stands before him, bare-chested, in loose drawstring pants that hang low on his hips. As Luca’s eyes lock with his, there is something deep in his eyes that speak to his beast, and it settles Shade to a degree. There are no words spoken between them, they both know what this means.
As Shade walks in, Luca shuts and locks the door behind him and pads in his bare feet across the room to his bedroom door and looks back at him. Shade can see the vein in his neck pulsing, and his mouth fills with saliva, and his fangs ache. Shade scans the warrior’s body, tight and hardened from years of training.
Shade feels Luca’s hunger, needing him as much as Shade needs Luca and he lets go, he can’t fight the hunger any longer. He follows Luca to his bedroom, stepping up to him, reaching his arm around his broad bare back and pulling Luca hard against his chest. Luca tilts his head back, exposing his neck, inviting his master to feed. As Shade sinks his fangs deep, Luca moans and Shade grabs his hair and yanks his head back, gulping down his blood.
Luca’s young warrior’s blood whistles through him, hot, so fucking hot, like lava. Shade feels his veins pop and crackle, and he draws deeper. His head is spinning, and his body begins to respond to the feeding, his cock hard, sliding against Luca’s hard abs as Luca’s own hot steel is nudging against his balls, teasing. He can’t stop the desire that comes with feeding, but he can’t do this with him, he can’t let it go that far, and Shade struggles for control.
***
Luca almost drops to his knees as the most erotic feelings he ever felt rushes through him. His moans escape his lips. No feeder ever gave him pleasure like this. His body does not fight what it wants. He has never had to fight this desire before and he doesn’t want to now. He wants the sweet release, and he wants Shade to be the one to give it to him. His hips begin to rock and grind into him, master’s body is so tight and hard, and he towers over him. Shade holds him in a tight grip and keeps drawing deep. Luca moans so loud Shade can feel the vibrations in his body. Shade wills the music to play, hoping it will block out their sounds as well as feed Luca’s senses.
The room is filled with the sound of Carol Tatum’s ”Primitive Kiss”, a seductive, primal beat that drifts out through the house.
The pressure of Luca’s hips rocking hard against him drives Shade like a freight train. He finally unlatches and throws back his head and roars, his body filled with young, sweet warrior blood, but his cock aching now as well. He spins Luca in his arms, Luca’s back to his chest, and Shade lets his hand slide slowly up Luca’s thigh, over his hip, across his rock-hard abdomen and up his chest as Shade’s lips seek out his neck again, pulling Luca’s head back on his shoulder, he whispers huskily into his ear.
“Luca, I cannot take release from you, but I will give you release, relax, master will give you a reward.”
***
As he unlatches, Luca wants to scream from his core, not wanting the sensations to end. Shade spins his body around and his ass is now pressed hard against master’s cock, his breathing is ragged, and he wants him. Luca feels his hands all over him, touching, gliding, and he moans with a desire that consumes him, he is desperate for him. The room is lit in the red glow from both their eyes, their fangs bared, the music moving Luca to another level. His master’s lips and voice are at his ear and he belongs to him, body and soul.
“Si, master. Per favore, per favore.”
“Close your eyes, Luca. I have you.”
Sliding his hand down Luca’s side, he slides it under his hard ass, and squeezes before moving his hand over his hip, around his hard, flat abs and down to his steeled cock. Shade strokes him slowly at first, and then faster, reading Luca’s response to set the pace and knowing he will cum soon, but they are both drowning in the sensation. Shade pulls Luca’s head back on his shoulder once more and kisses his neck, sinking his fangs in again, drinking deep as he jerks his cock harder and harder until he feels Luca’s body tense then shudder before relaxing back into him, feeling the release of Luca’s hot cum over his hand.
They stand silent and unmoving, still in their embrace as their breathing returns to normal, and their heart rates slow.
Picking him up, Shade puts him on the bed, and draws the blankets around him. Shade drank deep and he knows Luca will sleep for a while as his body is sated. Going into the bathroom, Shade washes his hands, splashes cold water on his face and now must face the most difficult part of this whole ordeal... bel.
60
As she stands in the hallway outside of Luca's living quarters, it doesn’t take long to figure out Shade has gone there to feed. He is not sick. He is starving for blood, the blood she can’t give to him. Relief floods through her at the realization he can feed from Luca. But that realization is quickly followed by those sounds, those intimate sounds she knows so well, the sounds that accompany those sweet erotic sensations that come with feeding, and it feels like more than she can bear. She runs to their room to try and escape the sounds, only to hear music. Her tears start to flow. It is not long before she hears him on the stairs and looks
up as he enters their room and sits beside her on the bed, his hand in her hair, pleading with her to listen to his words.
***
Shade doesn’t teleport to her. He needs the time it takes him to walk back upstairs to their bedroom to shake off what has just happened between him and Luca. He has no idea what condition bel is in, but it won’t be easy to bring her to him and make her understand, without revealing the dread he holds in his heart for what may happen to her and the baby.
His feet drag as he climbs the stairs. He hears her sobs, his heart wrenches, and his soul screams in agony. I have made things worse. I have destroyed her trust. She could walk away, never to touch him again, or love him again, and it only spurs him on to convince her that what he has done is for both of them.
As he walks in, she lies across the bed, her sobs have settled, but he can tell she is hurt, confused and in pain. He sits on the edge of the bed and lets his hand play with the softness of her hair. Her scent calms him, yet, he needs her so badly he can’t breathe, his body aching for release.
“Kate, I need desperately to talk to you. Give me a chance to explain. I am pleading with all the heart, because I love you and without you... I am nothing.”
***
She rolls to her side and looks up at him, places her hand on his thigh. “Shade, I can deny you nothing. Why would you think I would not listen to what you have to say?”
She reaches up and pulls him to her, kissing that mouth, those lips, and that tongue. All the pain of the last twenty-four hours, his sudden absence from her bed, the bloody clothes, the feeding with Luca, she will erase it all. She will bring him back to her with a single kiss. She will make him want her again with a single kiss. She feels him respond to her, grab her hair, and hold her in his grip. He returns the kiss with such passion, and she feels his pain flow into her. “We will fix this, lover. Whatever it is, we will fix this.”
***
Her lips are on his and she is drawing every ounce of pain from him, his heart flows to her through the kiss, he needs her more than life, he can’t breathe without her. His heart takes flight knowing she hasn’t rejected him, still wants him, still wants his love, and his touch. His hands are tangled so tight in her red crimson, clinging to her as though he is drowning, and she is the only one who can save him. Breaking the kiss, he pulls her to his chest. He can’t speak for a moment, his emotions overwhelming him.
“Kate, I love you. I want a chance to try to explain to you what I have been through, why I am like this. And I can only ask that you try to understand. I need to tell you. I can’t hold this inside me any longer. It has to be let go.”
“Lover, come lie next to me, I missed you in our bed last night. Hold me and tell me whatever you need to share. You have left me confused and hurt, and I know that is not your intention. So, please, talk to me.”
He lays beside her, holding her tight, his nose in her hair, inhaling her rose scent.
“Mi amore, mio dolce amore.”
He inhales her, and it feels like a cleansing of his soul. “It began with the bambino, and the doctor. I don’t like this, this not knowing. Things could go wrong. I don’t know if they will or not, but it tears me apart. I got you pregnant, and my guilt is tearing me apart. I did not feed, and I was starving, I’m angry at myself. I was angry at Alec and his ridiculous suggestions for what to do for blood. It pushed me over the edge. I did something last night I have never done, ever. Something a true warrior never does. I killed for no reason. I kill to protect. I kill to defend. I never kill without provocation. I was consumed with guilt. I was in raging need of you, and blood, yet I cannot feed from you. I could hurt you and take away the precious food our bambino needs. I am terrified of having sex with you. Will I hurt our bambino? Will my beast emerge? It was all too much. I needed to feed the hunger. There is a solution in my world of which you are aware, a feeder. I know how you feel about it, I know you see it as betrayal, and I won’t do that, I owe you that. But I must feed or I die. Luca offered to let me feed. I trust him. I love him, bel, as a warrior loves his brother. His blood is clean. He has only fed from feeders. His blood is not tainted with disease. Of all my options, going to Luca seemed like the only path that made sense. I know you heard the sounds, the music... The pleasure that comes with feeding, it comes unbidden.”
He clings to her and she listens as his words wash over her, her head spinning with all the thoughts he shares. Things could go wrong, what things? What could go wrong? Their baby? And killing without reason. Who? Who did he kill? And feeders? A feeder like the woman Luca used to feed from? Well, thank God for small favors he turned that down.
“Lover, why do we do this? We leave so much unsaid, and we both end up in our own personal hell and torment. I understand you must feed. I have been worrying about that for some time, and I know you were downplaying your need. And given the option between a feeder and Luca, I choose Luca. So, let that go. I am grateful to him that he offered himself to you, it was just… It was hard to hear, knowing the intimacy it brings, but I can deal with that. What happened that pushed you that far?”
He holds her to his chest, “I felt guilt, mi amore. I wanted a bambino, but after a time, after you were immortal, once you were strong. But you are mortal, and our bambino will only be part vampire, like Cory. I don’t know what could go wrong. All pregnancies can go wrong, all of them. What if something happens and I can’t save the bambino? So many things I can’t control, I can’t fix, and that tears me apart. I carried guilt for getting you this way. This is my fault. I should have known to make sure it was safe to make love to you and I didn’t. Now I carry that with me. My anger consumed me, and I had to let the beast go, I couldn’t let him go around you, I could hurt you.
“And now, Luca. I don’t know what I would have done without him. You asked I not feed from another, and I told you I would not. I thought we would have more time for you to understand my world, that you would be immortal and understand the bloodlust and that I would need to go elsewhere to feed whenever you were with child. I was not prepared for this now. I did not seek out a feeder, even though their blood is pure. Please, please, understand.”
“Lover, you can’t feel guilt over this baby. That judgment lies as much with me as it does with you. In fact, in my eyes, it lies more with me. But we can't change that. It happened, and we will deal with it together. It is not within your power to control the outcome for this baby, nor is it in mine. We will just do what the doctor directs us to do. We will be fine, all three of us.”
She takes his hand and places it on her abdomen. “All three of us. In the meantime, I need you. Please, don't leave me like last night with no answers, Shade.”
“I didn’t want to leave you. I had to protect you from me.”
Leaning his head over her, he kisses her tummy, laying his head on her, sighing as he closes his eyes.
“I love you both so much, so damn much. I am so tired mi amore, so tired. I just want to lay here with you, not move, not leave, just us. I want the world to go away and leave us alone. All I want is you.”
She lies on her back, his head resting on her belly, as she runs her hand through his hair.
“Hmmm, I, too, want the world to go away. It seems to just dump problems at our door. But I know you. Your warrior spirit would be quickly bored. But for this night, we will shut out the rest of the world.”
Shifting his position on the bed, he situates them comfortably, taking her in his arms, her head on his chest, her hair surrounding them both as he holds her.
“Deal. Now we both need to rest, no more talk. I just want to be here, with you.”
61
As Alec enters the house, he calls out to her, “Rissa, are you home?”
Hearing Alec’s call, she rushes quickly from her home office to the stairs. “Yes Alec, coming!”
Walking into the study, she can already sense his aggravation, indicating this is more than a small glitch in his plans. Sitting down across from him, she stare
s back.
“Something is wrong, what do you need me to do, Alec?”
He is pacing the floor of the study, “I just talked to Shade on the phone. Are you aware of this situation with his mate?
She watches as his agitation increases. “Well, I am aware she was sick, but when last I talked to them, she was not sure what was wrong. I sent over my doctor. I jokingly blurted out that perhaps Kate was pregnant. Tell me she isn’t pregnant?”
He sits down across from her, lights a cigarette, and takes a long drag before passing it to her. It is their nightly ritual when he gets home. One of the few intimacies he shares with her, the shared cigarette, so she relishes this unique routine.
“I would love to tell you she isn't pregnant, but that is not the case. You know how this goes, don't you? You know this can't possibly have a good outcome. And in the meantime, I will have one fucked up warrior. Your doctor confirmed the pregnancy, but then said it was out of his league since she was a mortal, so they need a specialist, and I have just the specialist in mind, my devious darling.”
***
As she puts the imported cigarette in her mouth, the tip is moist, she feels the wetness of his mouth on her own lips and a shiver runs through her body as she inhales deep. Sharing a cigarette with her master, and hatching out a devious plan, she sits up straighter and leans into him a little more.
“Alec, I know it means this thing, whatever it is inside her, probably won’t survive, and if there is a chance it will survive, it has to go. Shade will be so preoccupied with her and the baby, and that young warrior he has protecting her, he is already showing signs of neglect to you. What an irresponsible and selfish act!”
As a wicked grin spreads across her lips, she looks him in the eyes and sees he is already making plans. Her heart races, knowing he is going to give her a task and when she executes it perfectly, she will get her reward.