If It Kills Me

by Jason D. Morrow

  Evelyn nodded. “It was destroyed by the greyskins a few days ago.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, taking his sunglasses off to rub his eyes. Evelyn couldn’t help but notice that one of his eyes was drooping slightly. “I’m always interested to hear about that area. I have roots around there myself. Who were your parents?”

  “I don’t know about my father,” Evelyn said, taking another big bite of ham. “My mother’s name was Jessi. She died the same night I was born.”

  “Tragic,” Jeremiah said.

  “People I grew up around called me a miracle child,” Evelyn continued. “They said my mother was bitten before I was born but she gave birth to me before she died. They said I was born the night the grey virus started.”

  Jeremiah stopped responding at this point, so intrigued by Evelyn’s story that he simply stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

  “Hard for me to believe the virus started so close to home,” she said. “For something so deadly, I would have thought it would have originated somewhere else.” She shrugged. “I don’t really know why I thought that. It’s a shame they never figured out the origin of the grey virus.”

  “Yes,” Jeremiah said. “Pity.”

  “You think we’ll ever know?” Evelyn asked.

  Jeremiah took a deep breath and looked at the food on the table. “It’s not our job to know why some things happen. It’s just our job to be the strongest and survive.”

  “Even the strongest can be taken down,” Evelyn replied. “A bite or a scratch is all it takes.”

  Jeremiah stood from the table and placed his glasses back on his face. “That’s where you are wrong, Evelyn. The strongest can survive a bite or a scratch. They just have to know how. That’s what makes them the strongest.” He began walking out of the room, and once he made it to the door, he stopped for a moment. “Your apartment will be waiting for you. Welcome to Screven, miracle child.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  JEREMIAH HAD ASKED Evelyn to dine with him every week for the next year. At first, she didn’t feel comfortable with it, especially since he never actually ate when she did. He always said that he had a big meal in the afternoon and he just didn’t have the stomach for more. That never stopped Evelyn from eating, however.

  She never did understand why he decided to have these dinners. Did he like her? Did he want her? Was he trying to seduce her? It didn’t appear that way. Jeremiah seemed nice enough, but he had so many oddities and strange quirks that Evelyn could never entertain the possibility of a relationship with him. Besides, she was in a relationship now. His name was Mark, and he lived down the street from her. The two of them had met at the job they were assigned in one of the factories. She had found his shaggy, brown hair and dimpled cheek charming. His good sense of humor always kept her smiling too. The two had fallen hard for each other.

  Evelyn and Jeremiah’s dinners were of concern to Mark at first, but Evelyn assured him that nothing was going on. The man simply loved hearing stories about her life. Good and bad. He always had questions. And for a free, very lavish meal, she was happy to answer them.

  For the first few months, Evelyn always felt guilty about her meals with Jeremiah because of Whit. She had asked Jeremiah what had become of him and if he was to be let out any time soon. Jeremiah simply told her that Whit was sent away from Screven based on the fact that he had an uncontrollable power that wasn’t safe for the populace.

  It had been a touchy conversation as Evelyn asked him why she hadn’t been allowed to talk to Whit before he left. Jeremiah just told her that he had tried to arrange such a meeting, but Whit wouldn’t have it. He didn’t want to see her because he didn’t want her to feel guilty for staying. Evelyn never thought it sounded like Whit, but she didn’t argue with the city leader.

  On this particular night, Evelyn had asked Mark to come with her to one of the meals. He didn’t think it was a good idea.

  “Does he even know that you are inviting me?” Mark asked as they walked through the city streets toward the Center where Jeremiah resided. The streets were busy that night. It was the last weekend of the month — the day that Jeremiah opened the doors of the city for new people to come in and live. Screven had been nearly filled, but there was still limited room.

  “No, but he doesn’t have to,” Evelyn replied. “Every time I go there, he makes enough food for twenty people. I always ask why, but he only says that somebody will eat it. I think he’s just saying that to be nice. You should come this time.”

  “Why?” Mark asked. “You’ve never invited me to one of these before.”

  “Well, we’ve only been together a few months,” she said. “I think it’s time he knows about you.”

  “You mean he doesn’t know about me?”

  Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Come on, he’d be happy to see that people in Screven are happy. He’s eager to see everyone doing well. He will be glad to meet you.”

  Despite his apprehension, Mark found himself sitting across from Evelyn at the large table full of food. In his usual fashion, Jeremiah entered the room about five minutes late. This time he didn’t wear his large hat or sunglasses. In fact, he looked very handsome with his three-pieced suite and combed back hair. The smell of flowers and other scents still surrounded him. He stopped his stride at the sight of Mark.

  “Oh,” Jeremiah said. “Who are you?”

  Mark stood and held out a hand for Jeremiah to shake as the city leader began to walk by. “Mark, sir. Evelyn invited me to join you for dinner tonight.”

  Jeremiah ignored Mark’s hand as he walked passed him to the head of the table. Mark sat down awkwardly, still doing his best to maintain composure.

  “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be here,” he said.

  “Were you summoned by me?” Jeremiah asked.

  “Er…no,” Mark said.

  “Then you aren’t supposed to be here.”

  “I wanted you to meet him,” Evelyn said.

  “Why? Why did you want me to meet him?”

  “We’re together,” Evelyn answered.

  “In a relationship?” Jeremiah asked.

  Evelyn had been smiling, but started to feel the muscles relax in her face to a more serious look. “Yes,” she said.

  Jeremiah said nothing. He motioned for the two of them to start eating. They did, but they could feel the weight of Jeremiah’s brooding. Evelyn couldn’t understand what was wrong. Jeremiah sat there with his teeth clenched, completely silent. His usual, hearty conversation was as dead as a greyskin. The room felt cold. Even the food didn’t taste as good. Evelyn tried to start a conversation.

  “There’s a rumor going around that your planned expansion to make colonies is supposed to start this year,” she said.

  Jeremiah didn’t even look at her. He was staring straight at Mark. “Do you know why I didn’t return your handshake?”

  “No sir.”

  “I look at it as an insult,” he said. “Do you know why the handshake was invented?”

  “No sir.”

  “Some think it was to show others that they didn’t have weapons. A symbol of trust.”

  Mark nodded in understanding, though he didn’t seem to know where any of it was going. Neither did Evelyn.

  “I look at it as an insult because you shouldn’t feel the need to show you don’t have weapons. Why wouldn’t you come in peace?”

  “It’s just something people do,” Mark said. “I had no meaning behind it.”

  “Now, on the other hand,” Jeremiah said, ignoring Mark, “when a woman, someone you’re particularly fond of, reaches out her hand, a man is supposed to take it and kiss it.” He looked at Evelyn. “Hold out your hand.”

  Evelyn swallowed and did as she asked. Mark looked at her wide-eyed. What was Jeremiah doing?

  “Now, I am fond of Evelyn,” Jeremiah said. “It would be rude of me not to kiss her hand. I am not fond of you in anyway. You come into my city and insult me. You come to my me
al uninvited.”

  Mark thought about saying something in his defense, but Evelyn shook her head at him briefly.

  “Yes,” Jeremiah said. “Listen to Evelyn. Shut up.”

  “Jeremiah, I’m sorry,” Evelyn said. “I know I should have asked you before bringing a guest. This isn’t his fault.”

  “Be quiet and give me your hand,” Jeremiah said.

  He reached out his hand to Evelyn, touching her fingers until the two of them gripped softly. He brought her hand to his lips and that’s when it happened. For what felt like an hour, she blacked out, though she knew it was only about ten seconds. But it wasn’t a regular blackout. No. What she felt and saw was much more disturbing. During those ten seconds, she saw everything. She saw Jeremiah as a little child growing up. A graduate from a prestigious university. A professor. Then images of a woman came to her mind. A woman named Willow. Willow was best friends with Jessi. Jessi, her mother.

  She saw the entire story unfold right in front of her. For these ten seconds she gained a lifetime of memories.

  Jeremiah was not the man he said he was.

  He created the greyskins. He was bitten by a greyskin—a greyskin who had power. A Starborn? One that had long life. Jeremiah now had long life and symptoms of the greyskins, but he never died.

  After creating the greyskins, Jeremiah went into hiding. Once he knew that the virus hadn’t been traced back to him, he came out. He had to find a healer. He had resources. He had a way to pay people. He started planning. Building. Over the years, he built an entire city. No one knew him from Adam, but he offered hope. A healer never came forward. Others did though. A man who could breathe under water. A woman who could camouflage her skin in any environment.

  Since he had contracted the greyskin disease, he had the lusts of a greyskin. To sustain himself, to curb his appetite, to keep himself from rotting away, he had to eat human flesh—people held in the small prison on the other side of the city. He never ate the Starborns. He feared what their powers might do to him. He never ate them until…Whit. Whit hadn’t been sent away. Jeremiah had eaten him. It took him a week.

  So many images passed through Evelyn’s mind of Jeremiah melting, burning, and scorching with his bare hands as though to practice.

  His intentions with her were not pure either. She had made him angry by bringing Mark. By being in a relationship with him. He was going to take Mark to the prison. He would be burned to death, then eaten. Evelyn. He was going to have his way with her. He would do this every night until she was no longer attractive to him. Then he would eat her too.

  When Jeremiah finally let go of Evelyn’s hand, she was wide-eyed and her mouth had fallen open. She didn’t know what to think about everything she had just seen. All of it was so real and vivid. The thoughts had come out of nowhere.

  Jeremiah looked at her with concern. “What is wrong?”

  She looked at Mark, then back at Jeremiah. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  And she was right. What food she had eaten came up and landed on her plate in front of her. She grabbed hold of her glass and was about to take a drink when the thought came to her. They had to run. She sat up straight and brought the glass to her lips to take a sip. Instead of drinking, however, she gripped the glass and smashed it into Jeremiah’s forehead.

  Jeremiah swore as he reached for his head. Blood trickled out between his fingers as he continued to yell curses at her.

  Mark sat at the table, stunned at what he had just witnessed.

  “Mark, we have to get out of here!” Evelyn yelled.

  “Why did you just do that?” he asked, standing.

  “Because he wants to eat us,” Evelyn said. “He ate Whit!”

  “What?”

  “Shut up and run!”

  Jeremiah screamed again as the two of them tore out of the room, but he was soon on their heels. “Get back here!” he yelled out. The sight of a sprinting man with blood pouring down his face was enough to make her move faster. But what she noticed more than that was his glowing hands. This had to be a nightmare.

  Evelyn and Mark dashed for the door to the streets. To their left in the giant opening of the Center were several guards coming to block their path. Mark was slightly faster than Evelyn so he reached out and grabbed her hand to pull her forward.

  It was like the moment Jeremiah had kissed her hand. She saw everything in Mark’s life. It was as if time stopped and she was a bystander in a life flying past her. His parents had been killed when he was a child. He had never been in love with a girl before. He was going to ask Evelyn to marry him next month when spring came. He loved her more than any person he had ever loved before.

  She let go of his hand, not wanting to see any more. She loved him too. She didn’t want to read his thoughts. She wanted to discover them for herself.

  “Run for the door,” he yelled out. “I’ll stall the guards.”

  “No!” she screamed.

  “Just do it, I can find my own way out!” he yelled as he angled his run in order to hit the guards directly.

  Evelyn kept her path straight until she hit the door and ran out into the streets. Mark was a smart guy. He would be able to get out somehow. Wouldn’t he? Evelyn knew where she needed to go. She had to leave Screven. With a monster like that in power, she would be dead before the end of the night.

  She ran toward the city gate. It would still be open as the new citizens filed in, and hopefully, there would be a vehicle there with the keys still in it. She sprinted as fast as she could. Eventually, she could hear the guards chasing after her. She hoped beyond all hope that Mark was okay. Perhaps he had made it out somehow. Soon, the gate came in view and to her relief, a car was sitting next to a group of guards who were inspecting the newcomers.

  Taking in as much breath as she possibly could, she ran as fast as her legs would carry her. The guards near the gate had no idea why she was running at them so quickly and none of them thought to stop her until she jumped into the car and started it.

  “Get out of the car!” one of the guards yelled, pointing his gun at her.

  She ducked below the wheel as she slammed her foot on the pedal and sped through the group of them. A few shots went off, shattering the passenger window. With the gate partially open, she was able to maneuver the vehicle through and out. She honked the horn over and over, warning people to get out of her way.

  She sat up straighter when she saw she was finally out of rifle range. Surely the Screven guards would be coming after her soon. The gates began to open, but this only allowed for the crowd to rush into the city like a swarm of ants pushing their way to the entrance of their home. This bought Evelyn some time, but regardless of the fact, she wouldn’t be going very far. The vehicle was low on gas. She would have to abandon it within the next hour or so.

  And that’s exactly what she did. The vehicle puttered its last bit of exhaust and finally died on a road surrounded by forest on both sides. She wouldn’t be safe here. She wouldn’t be safe anywhere with the prospect of greyskins.

  When she got out of the Screven vehicle she grabbed the rifle that had been set in the passenger’s seat. It wouldn’t take Jeremiah and the Screven guards long to catch up with her if they took chase.

  Knowing she wouldn’t make it far during the nighttime hours, she found a tree that was easy for her to climb. It gave her a perfect view of the road, but unless the Screven guards knew exactly where to look, they wouldn’t find her. If they waited around for her until morning, however, it would be a different story.

  Her mind couldn’t leave what she had seen in Jeremiah’s brain. All the death, all the innocent lives that had been taken because of him. Billions around the globe had died. The world had never seen such a monster. Because of Jeremiah, Evelyn never got to know her mother. He had changed the fate of everyone on Earth. Then he stood to gain a profit from it by building Screven. It looked like a place of hope, but was just his selfish means to finding a Starborn healer.

  Throu
gh her ten-second touch, she had even been able to see what he had researched. These Starborns were from a line of people that weren’t even human! Am I one of these people?

  Jeremiah had come across several Starborns throughout his years of searching. He had always been too afraid to take their powers from them. He had always thought that their special abilities would consume him and he wouldn’t be able to handle it. It had been a long time since he had seen another until Whit came along. Evelyn had seen that he couldn’t stop himself. He had to try. He had to know if more power could be transferred to himself. But even with Whit, it had felt like too much for him. He had almost gone beyond his limit. He dared not do it again, almost as if to leave room for taking the abilities of a healer in case one ever came along.

  And poor Mark. If Jeremiah captured him it would be all her fault. She wished she could know what was happening. She wished she could see where he was, if he were alive or dead.

  She sat in the tree for about thirty minutes before the Screven car showed up. When the driver saw the abandoned vehicle in the road, he slowed to a stop. Four guards got out of the vehicle with their guns drawn and their flashlights on. A darker, more covered figure got out of the car, holding on to a motionless victim. It was Jeremiah and Mark.

  A guard pointed out that the tracks from the abandoned vehicle went in my direction. He then asked Jeremiah if he wanted them to pursue Evelyn. Jeremiah waved them off and pulled Mark up in front of him.

  “Evelyn!” he shouted out. “Come back. If you do, your little boyfriend will live.”

  Evelyn knew this wasn’t true. She saw into Jeremiah’s heart. There was nothing there but death and hatred.

  She stared down the scope of her rifle. She knew she could take out the guards and Jeremiah. She just didn’t know if she could take them out without hitting Mark as well. She focused the scope on Jeremiah and Mark and that’s when she saw it. Mark was completely blackened. Jeremiah’s burning hands had charred him. The power he had stolen from Whit had been used to kill Evelyn’s only love.