Never Letting Go

by Kristin MacQueen

  “Hey, Liam.”

  As soon as he’s close enough, he throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest.

  “How’s my favorite girl?”

  “I'm goo-“ I start to say but Bianca cuts me off.

  “Oh, I'm great, Liam. So nice of you to ask.”

  I suck in a deep breath, trying to calm the anger rising up inside of me. It’s taking everything in me to keep my fist at my side, not slamming into barbie’s fake nose.

  Liam’s eyebrows pinch together as he examines Bianca.

  “I wasn’t talking to you, Bianca.”

  His gaze turns down to me as a slow smile takes over his lips. His blonde hair’s sticking out from under his ball cap in curls, his honey eyes capture my gaze, I can't pull my attention away from them. Liam’s gorgeous.

  “Would you want to go to a party with me on Saturday?” Liam asks, I notice a hint of a southern drawl in his voice, making me want to talk to him even more.

  “I don’t know...”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Noah mutters quietly. I glare at him; who does he think he is? He has no right to tell me what is or isn't a good idea.

  “Yeah, it’s like totally not her scene.” Bianca says as she examines her manicure.

  I roll my eyes before looking back to Liam.

  “You know what, I’d be happy to go with you on Saturday.” A real smile spreads across my face when his grin grows even bigger.

  “It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  “Perfect.”

  I pull my keys out of my back pocket, walk over to the driver’s door and unlock it. I get in, roll down my window and start my car.

  “Stop touching my car and get out of the way, Noah.”

  He frowns even more, if that’s possible. I swear the boy walks around like someone kicked his puppy twenty-four hours a day.

  Chapter Eleven

  Noah

  I can't take my eyes off Frankie pulling out of the parking lot, I let out a sigh. I hate how she smiles at Liam; I hate how she seems to feel comfortable around him. I want her to smile at me like that, to feel comfortable around me again. I want what we used to have; I need to figure out how to get that back.

  Running into her everyday but knowing we’re complete strangers makes me feel like I'm losing her all over again. It’s absolutely killing me.

  “You aren’t taking her to the party.” I growl at Liam.

  “Sure, I am. She said yes.” His smirk grows even larger.

  “You really want to be punched today, don’t you?”

  He laughs, but is smart enough to take a few steps back, his hands raised in defense.

  “You admit it and I’ll back down.”

  “Admit what?” Bianca chimes in but I ignore her. My eyes never leave Liam’s, both of us staring at each other, daring the other to make a comment.

  “I gotta go.” I mutter as I walk down the few parking spaces to my car. I open my door and am about to get in when I hear Liam.

  “I'm not backing down unless you grow the balls and ask me to.”

  I flip him the finger, start my car and speed out of the parking lot.

  When I get home, I see Frankie’s charger in her driveway but her mom’s car is gone. It takes everything in me to stay on my property. All I want to do is go bang on her door until she opens it and lets me in. I want to hang out with her, talk to her about how she feels being back, how hard it is for her now that her dad is gone. I want to comfort her, be there for her. More than anything, I need to be her best friend again.

  Instead of doing that, I head straight up to my room, throw myself on the bed, grabbing my football. I throw it up in the air and catch it again. I do this as I allow the events of the day to replay in my head.

  “DINNER TIME, NOAH.”

  I let out a long sigh, sluggishly pull myself off my bed and trudge down the stairs to the kitchen. Both of my parents are already seated and waiting for me to start eating.

  “How was your first day of school?” Dad asks with interest. I don’t know why he cares about my day so much. Normally he only cares about how football is and what coach says I need to work on.

  “It was fine.” I grumble as I shove a fork full of whatever this is in my mouth. I'm hoping if my mouth’s full then it will deter them from asking more questions. Luck’s not on my side today.

  “Do you think you’ll have any issues in any of your classes?” Mom grins across the table at me.

  “Probably not... English might be an issue.”

  This piques both my parents’ interest. Their head snap up, eyebrows scrunch together, examining me like they can see into my inner most thoughts.

  “Why would English class be an issue? You’ve never had issues in the past.”

  “I was never partnered up with Frankie Valdo before.”

  “Ah, little Frankie. How’s she doing?” Dad’s always had a soft spot for Frankie. He used to refer to her as the daughter he’d never have.

  “She’s not really little anymore.”

  Dad raises a brow at my comment, a small smirk pulls on the left side of his lips. I roll my eyes and shove another fork full of food into my mouth. Seriously, what is this crap we’re eating?

  “She’s all grown up, huh?”

  “Oh, Scott, don’t embarrass the boy. Frankie’s become quite the beautiful young woman. Any boy would be lucky to gain her attention.”

  “She likes Liam so don’t go trying to play matchmaker, it won’t work.”

  “You always had the biggest crush on her.”

  “I did not, Dad. She was my best friend.”

  “I’m still confused. How would Frankie being your partner in English be an issue? As you said, you two were best friends.”

  “Because...” I groan as I scrub my hands over my face. Why do I need to explain this to them? It doesn’t actually matter. “We aren’t friends anymore. We’re complete strangers now. We can't go back to what we used to have.”

  “Sure, you can. Relationships take work, Noah. I never knew you to be a quitter, don’t start now.”

  “I'm not quitting, Dad. She doesn’t want to be friends.”

  “Whether she wants to or not is irrelevant. She needs a friend right now. She just lost her father, a man who meant a lot to you too.”

  “I don’t know how to fix this. I can't read her mind.”

  “Do you want to fix your relationship?”

  I stare at my dad for a few seconds. He rarely asks what I want in life. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great dad but he expects me to do what I'm told and I rarely resist his wishes. It’s weird having him ask what I want.

  “Yes.” I say softly, turning my attention back to my food.

  His big hand clamps down on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “Relationships are work, every single relationship. You need to work to get back to the place you used to be. Start by showing her that you’re still there for her. Prove that you’re still the friend you used to be.”

  “What if it isn't enough?” I voice the exact fear coursing through my mind since Frankie crashed back into my life.

  “Then you work harder. You don’t give up on the people who mean the world to you, Noah. And that girl,” he throws a thumb over his shoulder, pointing towards the Valdo’s house, “has always been the center of your universe. Don’t let her go, you’ll regret it the rest of your life. You fight for her until you can't fight anymore.”

  I let his words sink in as I finish stuffing food into my mouth. I can feel both of their eyes on me but I avoid making eye contact. I need time to figure this all out.

  “I'm going to go work on homework.” I scrap my remaining food into the trash, place my plate in the sink and head towards the stairs.

  “Don’t let her go, Noah.”

  I pause with one foot on the bottom step, my right hand gripping the wall. I peek over my shoulder, meeting my dad’s gaze.

  “I won’t, Dad.
I'm gonna fight for her.”

  “That’s my boy.” A cheeky grin spreads across dad’s face, he looks like he just won the lottery. Mom’s eyes twinkle as she smiles at me. For the first time since Frankie left, I have a smile on my face as I climb the stairs to my room.

  Chapter Twelve

  Frankie

  I throw open the door to the fridge and let out a loud groan. It’s full of fruits, vegetables and everything else healthy. Nothing that a teenager wants to consume. I pull open one cabinet after another until I finally find the junk food. I grab the popcorn, toss it in the microwave and punch the three-minute button. I dance around the kitchen to the music playing on my phone as I wait for the seconds to count down. The precious ding that will reward me with warm buttery popcorn.

  I spin around in my knee-high socks, teal tank top that ends right above my navel and a pair of tight black workout shorts. My hair is thrown up in a messy bun, glasses perched on my nose. I'm so happy I have no friends here that could stop by, I don’t need anyone seeing me like this.

  As soon as the microwave dings, I pull the door open and tug out the steaming bag. I try to open it carefully, but I burn myself anyway. I stick my thumb in my mouth, trying to sooth the burn as I pour the popcorn into the bowl. I head back up to my room, out onto my balcony. Collapsing onto my wicker chair, I let my legs hanging over one arm rest, my back to the other one. I toss a piece of popcorn up in the air and catch it in my mouth. I love popcorn too much. A movie plays on my phone, pulling me into the story and away from reality. This is exactly what I’ve needed all day long. An escape from my shitty life.

  Right when the guy’s about to confess his undying love to the girl, a pebble hits my leg. I let out a small yelp, more in shock than actual pain. Glaring down at the offending pebble, throwing it over the railing and into the grass below.

  I turn back to my phone. The hot guy’s pulling the girl into his arms, she’s apologizing for everything, for hiding her identity and pushing him away. They lean in close, their lips inches apart when another pebble hits me.

  I glare across the yard, a light catching my attention. Noah’s standing on his balcony, soft light from his room spilling out into the dark night.

  I stare over there for a few seconds, he lifts a hand, giving me a small wave. I'm not proud of what I do next. I pick up the damn pebble and chuck it at him. It hits him square in the chest, I know it didn’t hurt though. I stomp into my room, slamming the door and pull the curtains closed before flopping down on my bed.

  I can’t handle seeing him at home and school. This sucks.

  My phone lights up with an incoming call from Miranda.

  “Hey, girl! How was your first day?” Her perky voice flows through the line, bringing a smile to my face. I’ve missed her.

  “Ugh. It sucked.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about it. Tell me about your day.”

  “Well, Marissa and Chad got back together but then Aaron found out and flipped out because apparently they hooked up at a party over the weekend and he wants to date Marissa.”

  “Seriously? Why does she keep getting back together with Chad? They’re just going to break up by the end of the week and she’s going to be miserable again. Aaron’s been trying to date her forever.”

  “I know! That’s what I told her but you know how she is. But giving them to the end of the week was generous on your part, try broke up before fifth period and I found her in the bathroom crying her eyes out. She had raccoon eyes and everything.”

  “Aaron isn't going to stand by and watch this. He’s such a sweet guy, I feel bad for him.”

  “Marissa tried to get back with him. She said she regretted picking Chad over him but he walked away from her! He said he wants nothing to do with her, that she will always go back to Chad and he’s not putting up with it.”

  “Oh my gosh! Really?”

  “Yup. Marissa’s mouth just hung open as she watched him walk away.”

  “Damn, I'm gone for one day of school and all of this happens. Good for Aaron, he needs to stop being a doormat for Marissa to walk all over.”

  “We miss you.” Miranda’s voice softens.

  “I miss you guys too. It’s so weird being back here.”

  “Tell me what happened. Your day couldn’t have been worse than Marissa’s.”

  “Noah hates me.”

  “Noah? Your previous best friend, Noah?”

  “The one and only.”

  “There’s no way he hates you, you guys were inseparable.”

  “Well, apparently a few years was enough of a separation because he wants nothing to do with me. He’s my partner in English too. And he’s dating Bianca.”

  “No!” The single word comes out more as a gasp than anything else.

  “Yes! His best friend’s pretty awesome though.”

  “Names, I need names, Frankie.”

  “Liam.” I can't help the smile that consumes my face. I don’t know if I'm smiling because I have Miranda to talk to or if the thought of Liam brings a smile to my face. I'm willing to bet it’s a little bit of both.

  “And what does Mr. Liam look like?”

  “He’s gorgeous. Blonde hair, long enough to stick out from under a ball cap, curling the slightest amount. Honey colored eyes that just beg to capture your attention. His smile is to die for.”

  “Tall? Muscular? Nice? Give me more details here, woman!”

  “He’s tall, really tall. Probably at least six foot two. I think he’s on the football team, he had a letterman jacket. He’s insanely nice, he even checked on me in history class and invited me to eat lunch with him and Noah.”

  “Woah, back the train up. Why did he need to check on you?”

  “Noah made fun of me for drinking unsweetened iced tea...”

  “And it’s your dad’s favorite drink so you started to cry.” She finishes my sentence like the perfect best friend she is. Her words aren’t of judgement, she’s just stating facts. She knows exactly how I’d respond, exactly what I’ll do before I do it. I love her for it. “Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I wish I was there with you!”

  “Me too.” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion.

  “I need to go; my mom keeps calling me. Is it still ok for me to come visit next weekend?”

  “Yes! I might die if you don’t come visit.”

  “That’s a bit dramatic.” She says through her laughter. “I’m not inviting Marissa; I need a break from her. I think you were our peacekeeper. I want to punch her in the face. I’ll call you later this week, love!”

  “Sounds good. Love you.”

  “Love you too!”

  My head hits the pillow as I collapse back onto my bed. I miss Miranda so much. I want to go back there, to my friends, to my old life. I want my dad back.

  “Sweetie?” Mom’s voice floats up the stairs, I let out a groan. I don’t want to talk about my day.

  “I'm up here.”

  Her footsteps get closer and closer until she’s peeking into my room.

  “Hey, Sweetheart. How was school?”

  “It sucked.”

  “Frankie...” She frowns at my use of the word sucked, according to mom, that’s not a word that a lady should use. “What happened?”

  “Nothing.” I moan as I roll over onto my stomach. If I can avoid making eye contact maybe she’ll leave.

  “How was seeing Noah?”

  “Noah hates me.” I try to say this as nonchalantly as I can but I don’t pull it off well at all. I feel the mattress dip to the left as my mom lays down next to me. She brushes a loose strand of hair away from my face.

  “Noah could never hate you.”

  “He does mom. He scowls at me every time I look at him, he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

  “Honey, he might not know what to do now that you’re back. A few years is a long time to be gone when you’re this young. You’ve missed so much of each
other’s lives, give him time... Did you make any new friends?”

  “Liam.” I say with a smile. Just the thought of him brings a smile to my face.

  “Uh oh. What’s Liam like?”

  “He’s great. He’s Noah’s best friend. Going out of his way to be nice to me and even invited me to a party on Saturday.”

  “You should go. You deserve to have some fun.”

  You’ve been miserable since your dad died.

  She doesn’t need to say those words, I can feel them in the tension in the room. Neither one of us know how to navigate life without dad here. He was our foundation, always there for us, now he’s just gone.

  “I told Liam I would, he seemed excited.”

  “Just be careful.”

  “I know all about the birds and the bees, Mom.” I roll my eyes like a pro; she chuckles softly at me.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. Protect your heart, you don’t need a broken heart right now.”

  She kisses my head before she pushes herself off my bed and walks out of my room.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Noah

  Frankie looks adorable sitting on her balcony, she knows how to rock knee-high socks and glasses. When did she get glasses?

  She throws a piece of popcorn up in the air and catches it in her mouth. A grin takes over my face, I think back to the summer I taught her to do that.

  “I can't do it, Noah! Stop throwing popcorn at me.”

  “You can do it! You just need to try harder!” I throw a piece up in the air, catching it in my mouth. Her eyes narrow on me, she’s so mad that I can do something that she can't. “Are you ready?”

  “No!” She shrieks as I throw another piece at her.

  It hits her in the head and sticks to her hair, I fall back onto the ground laughing at her. Frankie wastes no time, she’s at my side in an instant, tickling me as hard as she can. I howl with laughter as I try to fight her off. Grabbing her biceps, pinning her arms to her side, I flip her over so she’s on her back and I'm hovering over her.

  She’s beautiful. The sun’s lightened her dark hair slightly, giving it a natural highlight.