The Burden of Trust

by Nikki Frank

  My stomach clenched with the knowledge of what came next for me. But it needed to be done. “Naruhi, do you think you could lead me to Iya? I should apologize. The rest of you, please stay here. I’m sure Iya has a direction he’d like to see us going, and he’ll probably want to regulate who we tell. This might take a while, so be patient.”

  The shi led me out of the room and down the metal hall. When we were alone, she spoke, “I understand where your doubts of the master might be coming from, but you needn’t worry.” She let her great furry shoulder brush against my chest. “Iya is a good man. I’ve seen many of the akuma come and go from his parent’s palace. Some are better than others. Iya beats them all.”

  “Hmm . . .”

  She ducked her head a bit. “I’m not saying he doesn’t go after excesses like any demon, but he does care deeply about his province. He takes his duty seriously and doesn’t let impulse compromise his job. I know the same ethic will apply to you.”

  I scowled at her. “Woman to woman, a bride doesn’t want to hear she’ll be cared for with business-like efficiency.”

  Naruhi stopped. “Are you saying you’d like the master’s love? He’ll be thrilled.”

  My cheeks went cold as the blood left. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m saying. What can anyone say to make this situation less awkward?”

  “There’s four very easy words which come to mind. I care for you. Not love, mind you. But you seem to be smart enough to understand the difference between caring and romancing. Do you think you have it in you to care for Master Iya? If you do, it’s a fantastic place to start.”

  I thought hard about Iya. Everything he’d done for me. All the trouble he’d put up with. Part of me wanted to crap on demons and say the whole effort was simply to get me to bond with him and gain access to my power. But . . . the tiny voice of conscience told me he’d done more. His kindness to me this whole time was the proof of his caring.

  But what about me? Could I care for him? Guilt over my outburst soured my stomach. The question wasn’t if I could care, but whether I already did. And the answer was yes. I felt horrible for the things I’d said. I was walking straight into his displeasure to try and patch things up because the discord really did bother me.

  I smiled at Naruhi. “Thanks. I have an answer to your question, but I need to give it to Iya, himself.”

  The floor rumbled with her purr. “He’s in the library. Two doors down on the left.”

  Iya sat on a divan, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. If he heard me enter, he refused to acknowledge me. I sat beside him, staring at my knees.

  “I’m sorry for what I said.” I took a quick glance at him.

  He shrugged and stared at the floor.

  A deep breath helped me continue. “You’re right. Even with everything you’ve done for me, I’ve never let you be more than a stereotype in my mind. You’ve proven yourself better than a generalized reputation repeatedly. I shouldn’t keep assuming the worst of you. Suspicion isn’t a becoming attribute.”

  Iya grunted, still not looking at me.

  His ignoring me made continuing very difficult. “We . . . we need to pair bond. I’ll try harder to get to know the real you. Neither of us should be miserable. I can’t promise to love you, but I can promise to treat you better.” Now came the hardest part. “I . . . care for you.”

  Iya put an arm around me and pulled me so we were shoulder to shoulder. “Really?”

  I blushed. “Don’t read too much into that. I care for my dragons, too, but you’re not going to find me making out with them anytime soon.”

  “That’s good.” His tone stayed cool. “I don’t like kissing girls who taste like smoke.”

  I gave a half-hearted laugh. “So, I can kiss someone who doesn’t breathe fire?”

  “Sure. I don’t breathe fire. You can kiss me.”

  My blush burned hotter. “Iya . . . I . . .”

  “I know, I know. You’re not attracted to me.” His shoulders drooped. “I just hoped.”

  I focused on the bookshelves across the room, trying to make out the titles. Truthfully, I was attracted to Iya and had been all along. Admitting those thoughts felt somewhere between betrayal to Talon and fuel for Iya’s ego. Or maybe I wasn’t ready to admit my feelings to myself. I’d never seriously thought about a man other than Talon. The idea scared me.

  I leaned tentatively against his arm. “I never said that. Give me some time, Iya. Talon and I have only been at odds for a couple weeks. I hadn’t considered moving on. It’s too soon to jump into being involved with you.”

  “Oh, but how many months had you been apart before our night out?” His voice had gone slick and persuasive. He glanced over at my face. “It seems to me you’ve been in a single state for months. You just didn’t know things were over until I shook the boat.”

  “We’d have been fine when he returned from his diplomatic mission,” I said defiantly.

  Iya’s face had inched very close to mine. “Really? Had you recovered from your fear of his proposal? You felt ready to commit?”

  “Well . . . not . . . exactly.”

  He stroked the hair above my ear. “How much dodging did you think he’d have tolerated? How long would it have been before your avoidance came between you anyway? From where I stand, it sounds like your relationship wasn’t on solid ground. I did you a favor and sped up a slow, painful process.”

  I was about to accuse him of using demon logic to get his way, but the words stopped on my lips. If I uttered them, we’d go backward. His statements weren’t so far off base. If I’d never started turning into a demon, what would have happened when Talon had returned? Probably not a pair bond. In which case, Iya’s scenario seemed logical, maybe even likely.

  “Ah, you’re starting to see reason.” A hint of hopefulness appeared in his gaze.

  “Things could possibly have happened that way. We’ll never know.”

  Iya shook his head. “I’m glad you don’t have the choice of worming out of the bond with me. At least I won’t have to go through what the other poor sap did.” He stood and called Naruhi. “Please bring my maps back to Mistress Olivia’s room. We should plan how we’re going to do this. We should also perform the bond. Once that’s done, we’ll have to see what we’re capable of together before we go blindly into this task.”

  I waited until Iya and I were alone in the hall before I spoke again. “Iya, are you and I . . . all right?”

  He ruffled my hair and gave me a small smile. “We’re good enough, I guess.” He shrugged and started back toward my room. “I’m glad you don’t hate me. Where things between us stand doesn’t make for a very romantic wedding day, but I’ll take what I can get.”

  I caught the back of his shirt. “You know, this isn’t exactly fair. The last time we talked about feelings, you were a staunch bachelor who never wanted kids. You’ve made a few comments about me, but why don’t you share? How do you feel about me, and why shouldn’t I be worried about your commitment issues?”

  He turned a look of complete surprise on me, which quickly shifted to a gleaming smile. “Well played, Olivia.” Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me gently against his chest. “Perhaps I ought to be a bit more accepting of your . . . well, not indecision, but the unfirm state of your feelings. Because, I can’t tell you what changed for me. I just know I’m attracted to you.”

  He tucked his face in, so his lips lingered near my ear. “I can’t promise my fears won’t come back to haunt us. Maybe my conviction in our bond lies solely in the threat posed by the goblin king. But I care for you, too. I have ever since this pitiful little imp nearly begged me for help. You spent the time digging your way into my affections. Let’s be kind to one another and see what happens. I doubt mutual caring is going to lead to bad things. Maybe something good can grow out
of it.”

  He let his fangs graze my earlobe as he said this, giving the slightest exhale of warm breath on my neck. My body shuddered. Was he that good at seduction, or did I feel more than I admitted to myself?

  I rubbed my cheeks as I followed him the rest of the way to my room. I didn’t need to walk in blushing or looking stupid.

  “By the way,” Iya’s tone had gone business-like, “while you and the green one had your moment, I told the others to keep all this an absolute secret.”

  “He’s Talon, and he’s important to me. Use his name. Wait. We’re not telling anyone else?” I’d expected discretion, but not this much.

  “Do you want to start a panic? Or worse, have everyone focus on what we’re about to do rather than the goblin threat?”

  “You really think they’re going to care about us pair bonding that much? I mean we’re not from the same magic-folk family tree, so I get there’s going to be disapproval―”

  “I can’t speak for the other demon lords in the Central Borderlands or your Lord High Governor, but the other three akuma lords will be livid.” He turned and took my hand, rubbing the palm with his thumb. “Are you prepared to face that?”

  I gave his hands a pat with my free one. “I can handle whatever they throw at me. I’ve been doing it for almost a year already. Remember, you spoke kindly to me while those two akuma tried to convince the fairy synod to find someone else to take my throne? Those sentiments are always lingering outside the little bubble of peace I built.”

  He kissed the back of my hand and kept it as we approached my door. “You’re an ideal wife in so many ways. Lucky me.”

  When we entered the room, Talon wasn’t the only one green. Envy roared through me. He stood at the back of the room, head together with Katriane, speaking quietly. He handed her a cell phone, and she gave his hand a squeeze when she took it. Clearly, I wasn’t ready to let go. At least not enough for him to be close to anyone else. Their interaction meant nothing, and I still fumed.

  I refused to contemplate his feelings or motivations; I’d only rile myself up. Instead, I’d concentrate on putting distance between myself and my grief using distractions. When my world fell apart the first time, I’d focused my energy and emotions on turning my district into a haven. Once again, I’d force myself to focus on work. Eventually, the pain would fade, and we could deal with our issues then.

  “What now?” I asked Iya.

  He pointed to some paper taped to the wall. “These are my father’s maps. He set up a spell so that when he died, the maps and the Goblin King’s plans found their way to me. I’ve destroyed the papers about the disease, but the maps are going to get us to the King. Come look.”

  I took the spot next to him as the others crowded around. Two maps depicted the entire Borderlands, and a more detailed one showed the Goblin King’s palace city.

  “As you can see, the journey will take us nearly a week on foot, assuming we don’t run into trouble.”

  I frowned. “And of course, we can’t fly. Not only would we risk being seen, but how would your shi stay on the dragons?”

  Iya stared at me for a moment and then chuckled. “I’d almost like to order them to try. It’d be damn funny to watch, and I could use a good laugh.”

  I gave a small laugh of my own. “Don’t be mean, especially not on my account.”

  “Watching them try to ride would be funny. You laughed, too.”

  Nobi cleared his throat and pointed a claw at the map.

  I crossed my arms and stared at the whole setup. If only I’d had more time with my parents. This arrangement triggered one of my last memories of them: planning an assassination of a werewolf in Siberia, maps spread before them on the table.

  Prickles of excitement ran through me as I examined the spot Nobi’s claw touched. “Iya, those little marks by Nobi’s claw, what are those?”

  Iya straightened up, too. “The goblin mines. The tunnels run all over under the kingdom, including . . .”

  “The palace,” we shouted in unison.

  “How do we get into them?” I asked.

  Iya frowned. “That’s tricky since portions of them are still in use. But goblins hate the sun. Mid-day would be best. The guard will be at its lightest then.”

  I stood and started pacing a circle around the outside of the room. All the lessons on stealth, diversion, and patience my assassin parents had ever taught me swirled around my head. When my plan had fully formed, I stopped in front of the others. Nearly a year of leading a district gave me the confidence to start issuing orders.

  “Here’s what we’re going to do. First, we’re going to my palace, and we’re taking my throne back.”

  Iya started to protest, but I held up my hand. “If we’re going to be as powerful as you think we are once we’re bonded, I’ll bust in the front door and get rid of him. Then we’ll kidnap Prince Tezky and bring him back here. Your suggestion of convincing him to keep the peace won’t work if we’re in his kingdom where he’s got all the leverage. Iya, you need to stay hidden. Nobody should know we’re still in each other’s company.

  “Taking my throne establishes my presence far from the Goblin Kingdom, and it sends a message not to mess with me.” I turned to Talon. “I need you to go back and watch my castle for me. Velor and Vixaria will stay as your personal guard. Anyone hunting me for the Goblin King’s bounty will end up at my palace.” I fixed Vixaria in a hard stare. “You need to be prepared to protect him, and I give you permission to be as ruthless as necessary.”

  I got a wicked, toothy grin from her.

  “Once my throne is in good hands and it looks, to outsiders, like I’m ruling by the sea, the remaining seven of us will leave for the Goblin Kingdom. We’ll bypass all cities and inhabited areas. Anyone who sees us and can talk about us dies. At the edge of Shandian’s province here,” I pointed to the map, “Nobi and Naruhi will stay behind with Katriane as her guards. Elita and Emmett will come as backup in whatever capacity we need them. Fairy magic will be nothing but an asset.”

  “Wait,” Iya interrupted. “You need Katriane to get at the demon power, and those are my shi you’re ordering around!”

  “What’s yours is mine, honey,” I snarked. “And you need to find a way for me to pull the demon power from her without kissing her. Preferably from a long way away.”

  Iya’s gaze quickly shifted to the floor.

  “What?” I had a bad feeling about this.

  His ears flattened back, like a scolded animal. “You, ah, don’t need to.”

  “Don’t need to what?” I growled.

  “Kiss her,” he said quietly. “I told you that because kissing didn’t require learning any new magic. That was the easiest way to start.”

  “And once we managed all right, you let me continue?” My voice cracked. “Neither of us want to kiss.”

  “It’s hot.”

  I threw a dirty look at him. “You ass.”

  “Would it help if I told you your plan is good? I just don’t know if you can draw your power from Katriane from so far away.”

  I rubbed my temples. How many hundreds of years would I have to endure this?

  “Okay,” Iya’s voice took on a more commanding tone, “Then let’s do this. Naruhi, you’ll perform the bonding rite tonight. We’ll take tomorrow to get a feel for what our combined powers let us do, and tomorrow night we’ll leave for Olivia’s palace.”

  “Nuh-uh.” Elita shook her head at us. “I’m not going to stop you from forming the bond since it sounds like our best shot. But you guys are crossing a serious line of diplomacy here. This isn’t your decision to make alone, kind of like running off to Earth.”

  “And what would you propose, fairy?” Iya’s tone suggested he didn’t appreciate advice from her kind.

  “I’
d have to agree with Elita,” Talon threw in. “I’ve been working in diplomacy for months, and now I’m Olivia’s regent. You can’t do this behind every back. You’ll come out the other side looking guilty. Get Lord Tomi to perform the rite. Then if the shit hits the fan, you’ll have at least one lord outside the pair bond who agreed to this solution.”

  Iya barred his fangs at Talon. “Tomi has no idea I intended to do this. He’s never going to approve.”

  Talon arched an eyebrow at him. “How could he have an issue if your motives are as pure as you’ve told us?”

  Iya crossed his arms, turning his back on Talon. “His issue won’t be with my plan. His issue is going to be with Olivia being an imp.”

  Talon’s face grew dark. “Tomi’s got it backward if he thinks Olivia isn’t worthy of you. The four akuma lords combined don’t deserve her.”

  Elita put a hand on his shoulder. “We all know she’s incredible. Iya means her breed, not her talent. Father granted Omri and Ferika their pair bond, but outside his palace, people talked for quite a while. They thought my father should have said no. That such a pair was unnatural. People are going to say the same of an imp and a demon.”

  Her antennae twitched as she thought. With a snap of her wings, she poked a finger into Iya’s chest. “Talon’s right. Get Tomi on board. My father would be a better choice, but going all the way to him will blow our secrecy. Tomi is your friend?”

  Iya gave a growl of frustration. “He is . . . well, he’s more like an uncle. He was one of Father’s closest friends.”

  “Then he ought to be your best option, and we’re already in his palace.”

  Iya rubbed his face. “I hate taking fairy logic.”

  “And you stormed out of the room earlier, leaving us feeling awkward because Olivia showed bias against demons,” Elita retorted. “Why don’t you stop being a hypocrite and get this done? I assume you’ll need to experiment with your magic after the rite to make sure you can deliver this plan, and we’re already wasting time.”