Come Back Around

by BA Tortuga

  Mat took his hand, holding it under the table. True to his word, he’d only let Markus and Frank have one side.

  He couldn’t help his smile—not for love or money.

  “You look happy, Daddy,” Dani said from across the way.

  “I am, baby. You look happy too.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

  “I am.” She still had tear trails on her cheeks, but she was beaming.

  “Good.”

  “Pop-Pop says I can spend the night in his room, if it’s okay. Sister too.”

  “I think that sounds like a great slumber party.” Mat squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Pop.”

  “These are my best girls.” Pop’s grin was shit-eating if there ever was one.

  “They are something special, aren’t they?”

  “They are.” Reid loved them so. He was tickled they wanted to stay with Pop and Patricia after staying with his folks so long.

  Of course, a night alone with his man sounded like heaven.

  Mat hummed, and Pop bowed his head, so they let go of each other during grace. The food was family style, and oh, it smelled so good. Roast beef, potatoes, gravy, and rolls, along with a dozen different vegetables.

  That was all bland enough for Mat to feast on too, so Reid was going to load him up. The man needed food.

  He fixed Mat’s plate, then his own, knowing just what his lover liked.

  “Thanks, baby.” Mat sounded a little shocked, and he would bet no one had dared do that recently.

  “You’re welcome.” He winked, hand sliding over Mat’s thigh.

  “You two are gooey,” Frank whispered.

  “You have no room to talk,” Mat whispered back.

  Frank glanced sideways at his husband. Markus smiled back. “True.”

  “Are you in love, Uncle Frank?” Dani asked.

  “I am, honey. Very much.” Frank chuckled. “You’ll like how it feels.”

  “Uncle Alej?” she asked. “You?”

  “Oh, yeah. I am head over heels.”

  “Papi? Are you in love?”

  “I am, baby girl.” Mat nodded very firmly.

  “Good. Daddy?”

  He looked at Mat, held his eyes for a second, then looked at Dani. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay.” Mat tilted his head. “Are you okay, kiddo?”

  “Yep. I’m good. Fine as lizard wigs.”

  Reid snorted. “Frog hair, baby.”

  “Right. Frog hairs.”

  The table was silent for a second, and then the chuckles started—first Uncle Frank went, then Pop, and then they were all laughing, even the girls.

  This was the life. It really was. Now he just had to figure out how to keep it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  MATEO kissed the girls good night, and then he kissed his folks. “Thanks for doing this.”

  “Of course, son,” Pop said. “Go get lucky.”

  “Pop!” Mat glanced at his mom, who winked. “Night.”

  “Good night.” She waved, and he caught up with Reid, who was crutching along, heading for their cabins, which would have been great if a bunch of Alej’s groomsmen weren’t around them.

  “Guys, go away.” Mat hated to be mean, but he wasn’t above shooing duty.

  “What? No way, man. Let’s go to the main house and play cards. All of us. Together.”

  “Nope.” Reid was laughing, but there was a note of steel in his voice. “I’m with the bridal party, so I get the night off.”

  “Boys, what are you up to?” Mat was going to beat someone—most likely Alej.

  Alej went all wide-eyed. “Hmmm?”

  “Don’t. What are you doing?” he whispered. “I have plans.”

  “I know. But the guys want to hang. They want to get to know Reid a bit. Give us an hour?”

  “Alej….” He had a blowjob coming, dammit.

  “An hour, man. It’s not even eight thirty.” Alej leaned close. “Come on, man. You can give me that much.”

  “I hate you so bad.” He smiled at Reid, going to apologetic. “The guys want to play a round of cards.”

  Reid’s eyes went wide. “What?”

  Mat spread his hands. “They want to get to know you a little.”

  “Me? Is this a prank?”

  “No, baby. I babbled a little at the bachelor party….” Mat hated that Reid looked disappointed.

  “About how unrelentingly hot I was, right?”

  “And how much I wanted to get back with you and how I was an idiot and all that.” Mat took Reid’s hand, steering him toward Alej’s cabin. “We’ll do it in Alej’s place so we can leave when we want.”

  “Okay, but we have a night. You and me. A whole night.”

  “We do. I swear it.” He meant it. The girls were good with his folks, even if the cabin collapsed. He wanted that blowjob, but more than that, he wanted to talk.

  “Okay.” Reid shrugged a little, but his smile was open and generous. “It’s Alej’s party.”

  “And I cry if I want to?” Alej waggled his eyebrows, teasing wildly.

  “Yep.” Reid wiggled, clearly trying to boogie, but crutches were bad for that, and the last thing either of them needed was to have Reid crash and burn.

  He pinched Reid’s ass. “Behave. Bad ankle. Remember?”

  “How bad is it?” Tod asked. “Do you need help?”

  “It’s broken. I’ll take it to the ortho guy when I get home.”

  “Oh no!” Tod’s eyes went wide. “Did you get something for pain? I have some good Tylenol.”

  “Hell, I stopped at the store and got some edibles.” Austin grinned over his shoulder. “I’ll hook you up.”

  “Thanks, guys. For real. I’m fine right now, though I would like to put it up. Do you think I could couch it when we sit down?” Reid sounded a little blown, and Mateo glared at his brother.

  “Hey, we can just sit and have one beer, huh?” Alej seemed contrite, and the guys all chorused agreement.

  “As long as sitting is involved, brother.” Reid grinned at Alejandro, rolling his eyes. “Mat gets stressed-out.”

  “I do. I want you to be able to get through the rehearsal and ceremony and then get it fixed.”

  “Yeah, no worries. I’ll stand up with y’all.”

  “I know you will.” Alej rubbed Reid’s shoulder. “Come on in and sit, man.”

  “So how do y’all know this hooligan?” Reid asked, and then the introductions began.

  Mat felt real pride at how good Alej was at this. He loved that man so much. There was a huge part of him that couldn’t believe his baby brother was actually getting married.

  He shook his head at Tod, who’d said something to him. “Sorry, man. What was that?”

  “I was saying I understand why you turned me down last night. He’s gorgeous.”

  “Yeah.” Mat gazed over at Reid. “He’s a nice guy too.”

  “And a good dad. Man, I never had a chance, did I?”

  “Oh, hon. No. I’m sorry.” Mat leaned toward Tod. “But I can tell how great you are. Hell, you might hook up here at the wedding. Just not with me.”

  Tod beamed at him. “Sucks for me, but I’m tickled for you.”

  “Thank you. I just… we need time to talk.” Could Reid hear him? He felt weird, but Tod was such a decent human.

  “Sure. I don’t suppose a threesome is an option?”

  “Not even close.” He winked, and that Reid had heard. He was staring a bit at Tod.

  As soon as Tod met Reid’s eyes, his lover smiled. “He’s not available. Not at all.”

  “Gotcha.” Tod gave Reid a thumbs-up. “Who wants a beer?”

  “I’ll take one, thanks.” Reid smiled at Tod before turning to wink at him.

  He liked the sound of that taken. Very much. In fact, it made him a little dizzy.

  God. He was such a happy dork. Sometimes he found himself holding his breath, worried he was going to wake up.

  “Here you go, man. Be
er.” Tod plopped down next to him. “How was the family supper?”

  “The food was amazing,” Reid said. “I swear, I’ll gain ten pounds up here.”

  “And Mama didn’t cry and pull out the baby pictures, thank God.”

  Mat snorted. “Only because Jen wasn’t there, bro. If she’d had access to the bride, you would have been screwed.”

  “God, don’t I know that.” Alej rolled his eyes. “You sad to be missing the girls’ outing, Reid?”

  “I have known you for a long time, Alej,” Reid mock-growled. “I will hurt you.”

  “Oh, dude. You guys have the night alone? Alej!” Joe looked all offended. “They could be getting laid!”

  “If I can’t, they get no sympathy from me. None.”

  Mat whacked Alej on his arm. “You blamed the guys!”

  “I didn’t plan this! Seriously. I just… didn’t argue.”

  “Uh-huh. Butthead.”

  Reid raised his bottle. “I like beer.”

  “One of his many lovely qualities.”

  If Tod didn’t stop flirting with his man, Mat was going to bite him. Reid was as taken as he was.

  Maybe more, because Mat knew what he’d lost, while Reid had been so busy taking care of the kids.

  “That’s me. Lovely.” Reid snorted and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? I’m a clay monkey and an exhausted single dad.”

  “Hey, don’t put yourself down.” He didn’t mean to snap, but Mat worried he’d caused this tendency.

  “I’m… I’m not. Just the truth. Well, the exhausted part for sure.”

  “That I get.” He winked, but he would happily take on some of that. He never wanted Reid to run off to Florida again.

  “That you can help with, maybe?”

  This wasn’t a discussion for a group.

  “Mmm. I think so.” He made it light, but he met that searching gaze head-on. “We’ll talk tonight.”

  “Yeah.” Reid smiled at him, then clicked their bottles together.

  “So, where did you guys go on your honeymoon?” Tod asked.

  “Venice. It was gorgeous.” Reid’s smile was wistful.

  “It was. The risotto was good too.”

  Reid nodded, expression far away. Someone was remembering the long nights of loving each other, laughing.

  They’d taken a gondola ride and drunk too much wine and wandered the bridges of Venice for hours. All of the sudden all the hurt, the pain of the last three and a half years felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. He’d lost so much.

  Reid frowned, reaching out to him. “You’re all pale.”

  “Am I?” He shook his head. “Just thinking.”

  “Well, clearly it’s bad for you,” Alej murmured.

  “No shit on that.” He had to talk to Reid. He had to know whether they could overcome their crap.

  “You should go on, you two.” Tod touched his arm. “Really. We were going to try and get you together. Y’all don’t need our help.”

  “No. No, we need to let us have some time.”

  Reid looked at him, and he hated seeing that worry back, that stress. “I’ll start heading over. I’ll see you guys for the rehearsal dinner.”

  “You know it. Night, man.” That was Alej, and the other guys chorused it.

  “Night.” Mat lifted a hand before following Reid into the night. “Reid, let me help.”

  “I’m sorry.” Reid crutched along, arm muscles working hard.

  “About what, baby?” He hurried to keep up.

  “I don’t know. Upsetting you? Hurting your feelings?”

  “When? Just now? You didn’t do anything, though.” Mat didn’t get it, and he wanted to.

  “You looked so unhappy, so stressed, when we were talking about our honeymoon.”

  “What? No, I was thinking how sucky it had been since we split up. The honeymoon was awesome.” Mat chuckled. “That gondola ride, remember?”

  “Yes. With the gondolier. He had the best mustache.”

  “But the worst singing voice. God, he sounded like the seagull from The Little Mermaid.”

  Reid stopped short, bracing himself on his crutches as he started to laugh.

  Mat chuckled along. “Yeah. I mean, damn.”

  “Right? And you bought me our wineglasses.”

  Reid had thrown one during a fight, had shattered it, and he’d had another made, so they had a full set. Reid stiffened up, and Mat thought he was remembering that too.

  They had to do this. Remembering, grieving, building new.

  “And I found you your watch there. Do you still have it somewhere?”

  “I do. It needs a new battery.” He always forgot. Reid handled stuff like that, so unless his personal assistant at work did it, Mat was toast.

  “Ah. I’ll order you a new one.”

  “Thanks, querido. I appreciate it.” He really did.

  “I love you. Even with all the shit. I love you.”

  “I know. We need to get inside.” He was going to explode with all the things he wanted to say.

  “I’m trying. Crutching is hard. I never knew how sore it made your underarms.” Reid grinned wryly. “At least my hands are callused.”

  “And your armpits will be too.” He laughed but got Reid up the stairs.

  “Ew. That’s a terrible thought.”

  “It is.” He shuddered. “Okay, that is nasty.” Then he grinned. “But I would love you anyway.”

  “Would you massage cream into them?” Reid fluttered his eyelashes outrageously, and Mat pondered popping him on the ass.

  “I would scrub them with Brillo pads. How’s that?”

  “Ooh. Kinky. Also, wow. No.”

  “I know.” He got Reid settled on the couch. “I would go to bed, but we need to talk. Like for real.”

  Reid swallowed hard and shifted deeper into the cushions. “I know. I don’t want to, but I know we do.” Reid closed his eyes, inhaled deep. “God, this is scary.”

  “It is.” He sat down so he could grab Reid’s hand. “We can do it.”

  “I hope so. I want to.” Reid squeezed hard. “I…. Where do we start?”

  “Well, I’ll start with I’m sorry. I said a lot of shitty things. Did some too.” They could spend all night talking about what they’d done wrong, but he wanted to get past that.

  “Me too. I was so hurt that I turned mean.” Reid’s eyes were on their joined fingers. “I never bad-mouthed you to the girls.”

  “I believe you. I swear I never did either.” His Pop had been the product of a divorced family; he’d beaten that idea into Mat. No using the kids in war.

  “Thank you. I… I’m so sorry for running to Florida. I just panicked. The thought of losing the girls….”

  “I should have tried calling. I was…. The girls made it sound like you had a new guy.” He’d been so hurt. So damn mad.

  “It wasn’t like we were talking. There’s no guy. There’s you. There’s been nothing but you.”

  “Same here. I mean, a lot hasn’t changed.” A lot had, and they needed to focus on that.

  “But a lot did. I worked my ass off to prove that I wasn’t a mooch.”

  “I know. I’m so proud, querido.” Mat sighed. “I hate you felt that way. I was so damn tired.” He had a problem with work-home balance, and he knew it now.

  “I wasn’t being lazy. I wasn’t.” Reid turned to face him, eyes sparkling dangerously. “I was taking care of the girls. I wasn’t ready for another infant. I was running on empty, and I hadn’t learned to create without inspiration yet.”

  “No, I know.” He shook his head. “To be honest, it wasn’t about you. I mean, other than you spurring it by saying I was never home. I had guilt that I wasn’t ever home, but it wasn’t enough to keep me from doing what I was doing. I’m working on it, but I have an unhealthy obsession with work, and I know it.”

  “Did you go to therapy? It sounds like you did.”

  “I did. Kinda nontraditional. It started with a nutrition
ist. My doc sent me to her because of the ulcer I was working on getting.” Naomi was a full-body person. She believed food was only part of the picture.

  “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t me, was it? Are you better? Can I help?”

  “It was stress. I was living on coffee and handheld burritos and working eighteen-hour days.” God, he’d been on autopilot. Then he’d passed out in the middle of a meeting with a client.

  Reid nodded, squeezed his hand. “That’s why I hired help. I was getting up at five, going to bed at 2:00 a.m., and I was wrecked.”

  “I bet.” That wasn’t Reid. Reid needed eight hours of sleep and liked to get up just in time to make everyone breakfast.

  “It’ll be like that again for a few months while I design the new line.”

  “What can I do to make it easier?” He wanted to help. He really did.

  “Come home.” The second the words were out of Reid’s lips, he slapped his hands over his mouth.

  “Was that a mistake? Or did you mean it?” His cheeks heated, his heartbeat racing until he felt dizzy.

  “I mean it. If you want me to, I mean.”

  “I want you to, but I have to know.” He grabbed Reid’s chin to tilt up his head. “I need to know it’s what you want, not what you think is best for me or the kids.”

  “I miss you. I miss us. I fucked up so bad, and I lost you. I’ve been fighting to be good enough, have enough collateral to win you back.” Reid stared into his eyes, tears shimmering.

  “You have always been good enough, querido. I feel like shit about making you feel unworthy.”

  “How could you leave us? I mean, what’s wrong with us? We got divorced!”

  “We stopped talking. Hell, maybe we were never good at it, but we didn’t have to be when we were DINKs.” They’d just… they’d had it good. Easy. He guessed they’d expected it to always be easy.

  “I… I still love you, you know that.”

  “I know. Lucia says you cry all the time.”

  Reid turned bright red. “Not all the time.”

  “No?” He relented with a gentle smile. “We have to promise to work harder, is all.”

  “It’s hard to be an us alone. I miss you. Don’t think I’m a jackass, please, but I do cry at night. I’m not used to sleeping alone.”

  “I’m not either.” That was why he didn’t sleep. He’d doze off in front of the big screen in his office, laptop on his legs.