True to Me

by Kay Bratt

She dog-paddled, keeping her limbs moving, though now they burned like fire in the cool water. She was exhausted, but Liam stayed next to her, giving her a nudge when she slowed. It was shocking how far out the wave had taken her.

  Her breath slowed when the water retreated down to her chest and she could feel the sand under her feet again. She swallowed, proud that she hadn’t completely lost it, though without the guidance of the turtle, she felt sure she would be dead.

  She continued to move her arms back and forth, wary that the water would deepen again without notice.

  “You’re fine now,” Liam said as he guided her toward the beach.

  But she couldn’t stop thinking of the strange encounter under the water.

  Liam looked stricken as they waded out onto the beach, then fell to the sand to rest. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. I don’t know how I lost you like that.”

  She smiled gently, forgiving him instantly. He probably thought she was angry, but the truth was she felt triumphant. She’d conquered a fear, and more than that, she’d felt something shift inside her. The ocean—and the turtle—had made her feel welcome, both sending warmth down to her very soul, as though telling her they were glad she’d finally come home.

  Chapter Nine

  They sat side by side on their towels, and Quinn felt a new appreciation for the warmth on her face, as well as for the solid ground beneath her. She wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees as she gazed out at the clear blue water. Now the waves appeared graceful and hospitable, instead of dark and sinister.

  She searched for any sign of the turtle, but it had disappeared just as quietly as it had appeared. She decided that, for now, she would keep the experience to herself. It felt too special, and too raw, to share it with anyone yet. All she knew was that if it hadn’t come and calmed her and shown her the way up, the outcome of the incident would’ve been a lot different. Most likely, right now Liam would be comforting a raving-mad lunatic, if she had even survived.

  She thought of her mother, who would’ve been astonished. Ethan would also be surprised, and she couldn’t wait to tell him what she’d done. Minus the part about Liam’s help, of course.

  Liam buried his feet in the sand and sighed loudly.

  “Too much excitement for one day,” he said.

  “I suppose you thought I was going to get all hysterical out there on you,” she said, laughing slightly. She was glad he couldn’t see how she’d acted under the water before the turtle had come.

  He shook his head. “Nope. I sure didn’t. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. I knew you could do it.” He reached over and poked her on the arm, smiling. “I didn’t mean to lose you out there. I just needed to convince you to give it a try.”

  “I would’ve done it eventually,” she lied, knowing that it could’ve been another thirty years before she got the courage to venture past her ankles.

  Truthfully, she felt grateful to him. But that could wait.

  “Why were you afraid?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I don’t really know. I’ve been frightened of the ocean as far back as I can remember. My mother told me that she took me to Folly Beach when I was five, and I ran when I saw the ocean and refused to come out of the hotel room for two days. It happened again the next time we went, so after that we stopped vacationing near water. A silly fear that I just never outgrew, I guess.”

  She hoped her voice didn’t convey that it was anything but silly to her, despite her words.

  He looked pained by her confession. “I think I came out of the womb knowing how to swim and craving the water. It’s only out there that I feel completely free, unencumbered by the problems and stresses of this world. The sea doesn’t care about any of it, and that nonchalance reminds me that we are only here for a short time and to embrace the gifts of nature while we can.”

  He was right, of course. Quinn hoped that her newfound courage remained with her and wasn’t fleeting. Of course, it would be nice to forget about everything, but right now she couldn’t. Real life awaited just beyond the warmth of the sand between her toes.

  “Listen, Liam. I need your help,” she said.

  “I was already going to offer my help,” he replied. “Remember the elderly woman you met Tuesday night? Mrs. Wang? She’s somewhat of a family tree hobbyist, and I think she could give you some pointers on the best way to trace your family.”

  “Oh,” Quinn said. She had been thinking of the woman just that day when she’d analyzed her DNA report again. Surprisingly, Quinn’s ethnicity report showed she was 41 percent East Asian. A mind-blowing discovery, to say the least. Though she wasn’t exactly sure what it meant. “That’s something to consider. But what I wanted your help with is finding Jaime.”

  He looked taken aback before he let out a long whoosh of air, grimacing enough to tell her what he thought about that idea.

  “Before you say no, just listen,” Quinn said. “Maria misses him. And she said he’s a good man. What if he didn’t want to leave? Maybe something could be done to reunite them. They have a lot of years invested to just throw it away, without even an explanation. She at least deserves that, don’t you think?”

  He looked at her, his expression sad.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to help. I’d do anything to bring them back together. Not only for Maria but for the kids. Alani cries all the time missing him, and Pali won’t talk about him, but I can see it’s eating him alive. He needs his dad. But treading into a man’s business—especially since he’s my cousin—that’s just not what we do here.”

  “I thought the people of Hawaii were all ‘Ohana, family first’?”

  “We are. If our family wants to remain family. But if they take themselves out of the circle, then we wait for them to come back. On their own.”

  “Then I’ll do it,” she said. “Just tell me what kind of car he drives.”

  She planned to sneak out a family photo and copy it; then she’d go around Maui and look for his car, show his picture, and just poke around to see if she could find any leads.

  “Oh, no, I’m not letting you get yourself into trouble,” he said. “If you insist on sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, I’d better be there to make sure it doesn’t get cut off. I’ll give you one afternoon to search, but only if you promise not to go back out and do it alone.”

  Quinn smiled into her arms. She’d take that. They could find out a lot in an afternoon if they were smart about it.

  He stood and held a hand down to help her up.

  “We might as well do it before we get back to the windows. Tomorrow I’ve got a full day of working on those cabinets. Before I start, I’m going to show you how to use a sander so you can knock out those shutters. Any woman who can conquer her fear of the ocean in one swoop can surely learn how to handle a tiny power tool.”

  “I just need a quick shower,” Quinn said. She didn’t mention she’d have to slap some makeup on and make herself presentable.

  “I’ll give you fifteen minutes. Let’s go.”

  Quinn took his hand, and in one swift pull he had her on her feet and then was heading back to the house.

  She stood there for a minute. Something inside her felt different—more free, since she’d made a truce with the sea. Another thing: she couldn’t wait to get her hands on that sander. Darn right she could handle a power tool.

  At least, she hoped she could.

  Quinn had never moved so fast to get ready in her life. She cut her shower down to less than four minutes and used the other eleven minutes to dress and put her face on. She’d surprised herself at how efficient she could be when she really needed to.

  Now she sat prim and proper in a summery cotton dress and sandals, gazing out the window as Liam drove her to Old Lahaina Town.

  They’d decided to stop and talk with Gracie Wang before doing anything else. As Liam pointed out, she might even have some insight about where Maria’s husband was hiding out, or at least she could
guide them in which way to search. Liam assured Quinn that Auntie Wang knew quite a bit about what went on in Maui, even if she didn’t always share it with others.

  On the way, they searched a few places for Jaime’s car. They went to the lumberyard and drove up and down the rows of cars. Jaime had worked there for more than two decades, and it only made sense to search there first.

  Liam said he drove an aqua Toyota Camry, but it wasn’t there. They continued to Auntie Wang’s neighborhood, keeping their eyes on the road and parking lots for the Toyota until they arrived in Old Town and pulled up into Auntie Wang’s driveway.

  Liam put the car in park, and they got out.

  The house itself was unique. A small, two-story clapboard home with an inviting porch. There were Chinese symbols carved into the middle of her shutters, and a series of chimes hung across the front, their soft tinkles from the wind creating a peaceful sound.

  Liam knocked and stood aside, shoulder to shoulder with Quinn. She felt hesitant, still unsure about unloading her biggest secrets onto a stranger. And what if the woman held information that was useful? Was Quinn really ready to hear something that might change her life forever?

  She wasn’t sure, and that made her heart pound all the harder.

  Auntie Wang pulled open the door and smiled, clasping her hands to her chest. “Liam, how nice of you to visit,” she exclaimed.

  Liam leaned in and kissed her wrinkled cheek, making her blush like a schoolgirl before she turned her attention to Quinn, examining her from head to toe. “Well, hello. I remember you.”

  “Auntie Wang, we’ve come calling to ask your advice on an important matter,” Liam said. He reached out and took the old woman’s hands in his, where they disappeared into the cave of his huge grasp.

  Auntie Wang straightened to her full height, her expression turning to one of pride.

  “Well, come in, dear. I’ll be happy to help if I can.” She stood to the side and allowed them to pass.

  Now they sat waiting in the front room—the parlor, as the woman called it—while Auntie Wang bumped around in the kitchen preparing tea.

  Auntie Wang had answered the door looking very eclectic in a loose, billowy, Chinese-patterned shirt over a flamboyantly Hawaiian sarong. She obviously worked hard to embrace her culture—all of it—and Quinn thought she was nothing less than adorable.

  “She’s very old school,” Liam whispered as she’d retreated, raising his eyebrows at Quinn.

  “No kidding,” Quinn whispered back.

  “We’ll loosen her up by talking about your search before we mention Jaime,” he said.

  Quinn’s armpits were beginning to feel swampy.

  As they waited, Liam filled her in on the history of the house, warning her that Auntie Wang was very proud and protective of the property. It sat very close to the historical Front Street, and Liam told her it had been in Auntie Wang’s family for several generations. It was located very close to the protected Wo Hing Museum and Cookhouse, a landmark of Maui built in 1912 as a social meeting hall for the Chinese who came to Maui on trading or whaling ships, and then later for those brought over to work on the sugarcane plantations and the mills. The building included an upstairs temple for religious ceremonies, but all the social events were held on the bottom level.

  Auntie Wang shuffled in as Liam was describing the museum.

  “Did you see it?” she asked, setting down a long mahogany board, similar to a cutting board but with a drawer. She pulled open the drawer, lit a tiny candle, and set it inside the board.

  “I did,” Quinn said. “We drove by it, but I hope to take a peek inside soon.”

  “Liam should also show you the Chinese Cookhouse,” Auntie Wang said, smiling pointedly at Liam, then Quinn.

  “What is that?” Quinn asked.

  “It’s a small wooden shack out back of the museum. Back in the day, it was a community kitchen where my people cooked in huge woks and steamers over wood fires, and many families gathered to eat.”

  Quinn nodded. “That’s so interesting.”

  “In the Chinese culture as well as the Hawaiian, the kitchen is the center of life,” she said, then hurried away again, only to return with an array of dishes and a kettle of water.

  They watched Auntie Wang handle the skillful filling and emptying of pots, cups, and bowls. It was especially interesting when she poured the first steeping over some tiny clay animals that she’d set on her tea board.

  “She feeds the animals for good luck,” Liam said quietly. “See how dark her animals are? That means she’s a very experienced tea taster.”

  Auntie Wang smiled quietly as she listened to his explanation.

  Finally, she set a tiny cup in front of Quinn, then one in front of Liam.

  “Sip slowly,” she said. “Tea is not a simple beverage. It is an experience, meant to be appreciated. The small cups are a reminder that truly original tea leaves are scarce, and the tea they make should be highly prized.”

  Quinn took a tiny sip of the steaming concoction and let it swirl around her mouth. It tasted light and flowery.

  “This is Dragon Pearl Jasmine tea from the Fujian province. If I haven’t lost my touch, it should taste mildly sweet and a bit floral,” Auntie Wang said.

  “It’s perfect,” Liam said, nodding his appreciation.

  “Very good,” Quinn added. That was the truth. Never a big fan of hot tea, she was pleasantly surprised that she liked it.

  “So, Liam, tell me what brings you by,” Auntie Wang finally said.

  He gestured at Quinn. “I’m going to let Quinn start.”

  Quinn smiled gently at Auntie Wang. “Liam told me that you dabble in genealogy, and I just happen to be looking for any family related to my mother. Or my father. I’ve never known any of my relatives other than my mother.”

  Auntie Wang frowned; her lips puckered as though she’d gotten a bad tea leaf stuck in her teeth. She leaned in, all her attention on Quinn.

  “That’s a shame. Ohana means ‘family,’ and they are the ones we live with, laugh with, and love with. To be without your family must be terrible. Tell me more.”

  Quinn took a deep breath. She hadn’t truly admitted it yet, but since her mother had passed away, the loneliness of having no family had been eating her alive. The old woman was right, and it felt almost physically painful to admit it and let her secrets out.

  “Yes, it’s hard. But that’s why I’m here. My mother is from Maui, or at least that’s what she always told me. She met my father here, and then they ran away to the mainland, but she said he left us shortly after I was born. I’ve only had a name and never a face to remember. Now that she has passed, I’ve discovered that the name I had wasn’t actually that of my father. I have no idea who my real father is. That’s a big part of why I’m here, to see what I can find out.”

  “What about your mother’s family? Are they still here?” Auntie Wang asked.

  “I don’t know who they are,” Quinn said. “My mother was estranged from them, but she never said why.”

  “There must be a story there, dear,” Auntie Wang said. “It would take a lot to divide a young woman from those who love her.”

  Quinn shrugged. “Once I hit my teenage years, I assumed it was because she’d gotten pregnant and they had a problem with it, causing her to leave. I never pushed her for an explanation.”

  Auntie Wang nodded, her expression kind and understanding.

  “Would you like to share your mother’s family name?” she asked.

  “It’s Senna,” Quinn said. “Elizabeth Senna.”

  “Hmm,” Auntie Wang said. “I know of a few Sennas. I could ask around.”

  “I’ve searched online but haven’t found anyone related to her. So I don’t even know if the name she used was real.” It felt frightening at first, talking about her life, but, gradually, the fear began to transform into relief. She was finally getting the words out.

  “You have a birth certificate, right?” Auntie Wang
asked.

  “I do.”

  “Have you ever applied for a passport?” Liam asked.

  “No, why?”

  He grimaced. “I hate to tell you, but if you can’t find any of your mother’s family here, for all we know, your birth certificate could be counterfeit. The only time they are examined closely is if you apply for a passport.”

  “And your father’s name is on the certificate?” Auntie Wang asked.

  “It says Wesley Maguire. But I know now that’s not true,” Quinn said.

  “I can’t say I’ve heard of many Maguires on Maui,” Auntie Wang said.

  Liam nodded in agreement.

  “I know,” Quinn replied. “I’ve searched Wesley Maguires, but none of them could’ve been him. In Maui or anywhere.”

  Auntie Wang shook her head. “Don’t read too much into that. Many people who would be in your father’s generation and older still aren’t online,” she said. “I am, but only because I’ve found it to be such an amazing platform to connect with family and learn more about our history.”

  “You’re right about that,” Quinn said. “My mother refused to let me set her up on anything that she’d have to give out any information or post pictures that included her. She said the world was too nosy.”

  “I know you’ve probably already considered this,” Auntie Wang said, “but do you think your mother could’ve been running from something?”

  Her words grieved Quinn, but after all she’d learned in the last weeks, she knew it was a possibility. Yet it was hard to believe someone as kind and doting as her mother could’ve done something so bad that she’d go to such lengths to run from it and never look back.

  Auntie Wang reached over and took Quinn’s hand, rubbing the top of it with her thumb. “Dear, I’m sorry, but there are two definite possibilities: she was either hiding from someone, or hiding from something. If it’s the first one, she could’ve been a victim of some sort, but if it’s the second, then, well . . . are you sure you want to open a possible can of worms? Are you ready for any conclusion, even if it isn’t a happy one?”

  Quinn nodded. “I have to know.”