by Jenna Reed
Nina walks in alone, and I concentrate really hard on creating my quarterback’s custom jersey. At least I am pretending to concentrate really hard. I’m just thrilled that she didn’t bring the one-armed wonder back with her.
“Hey, Sis,” Grady says, “where have you been? You want in on this action?”
“No thanks, I’ll watch you guys play,” she says quietly.
“Where were you?” Grady asks again.
“I was out with this guy from work, Sam,” she responds. This could not be any more awkward, but I don’t dare turn around.
“Do you like this guy?” Grady asks.
My interest is piqued, and my ears perk up. Yes, I am curious to hear her answer.
She sits on the edge of the couch and keeps her gaze lowered. “Um, I did. I don’t really want to talk about this right now.”
Grady snorts. “What in front of Travis? He doesn’t care. He’s busy making his quarterback look as absolutely ridiculous as he can.”
He isn’t wrong about the quarterback; I’ve added everything you can possibly add to this guy’s jersey. But he is wrong about the part of me not caring. I care a whole fucking lot.
“So, yeah, I guess he’s okay,” she says. “He is really nice.”
This is getting really uncomfortable. I can tell she’s not wanting to talk about it, and of course, I don’t really want to hear it.
I push to my feet. “Hey, it’s chill. You can play with your brother. I completely forgot that I told my dad I’d pick something up for him.”
I hand her the remote and check to make sure I have my wallet. “I’ll catch you guys later.” I make eye contact with Nina, but it’s brief. I don’t really know how I feel at this point, and I definitely don’t want to stick around to hear her gush about Sam.
Grabbing my keys off the counter as Nina sits beside Grady, I walk to the door and leave the apartment without another word.
16
Nina
After we play a few games of Madden, Grady asks me how things are going.
“Good,” I answer. “Everything is good. What about you? How about that girl you were seeing? Am I going to get to meet her?”
“Oh no,” he replies but never looks at me. “That’s over. She wanted to leave some of her things at my apartment.”
“What? That’s grounds for dismissal in Grady world?”
“Yes, it’s assuming too much. You should never assume I want you to move your shit into my apartment.”
“Tough man,” I say.
We finish the game, and Grady gets up from the floor, stretching out his arms and back. “All right, I gotta go. This has been fun and a little awkward.” He winks at me and heads out.
“Bye, loser,” I call after him just as the door closes. So, he could tell there was tension between us. Great!
Now I’m alone in the apartment with just my thoughts, and that isn’t something I really want right now. I go into the kitchen and grab my cookie dough. I just take a small bite and put it back in the fridge. I need to go on a diet anyway, baby steps.
Sam and I had an okay breakfast, but it felt a little forced. I really didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to seem like a huge bitch by blowing him off. Now the guy I’ve talked to effortlessly at work about everything seems like someone I’ve just met. I know a lot of it is because of Travis. I couldn’t get him out of my mind, and the more I tried, the harder it was. I will say that while Travis has been on my mind since we had sex, I do feel a bit guilty for jumping to the wrong conclusion about Sam.
When I asked why he didn’t call, he explained his friend took his phone because he was on a high dose of pain pills when he left the hospital. Then he’d slept for two days, and here he was. It made sense. It made me feel like shit because instead of waiting for more than a couple days, I’d already jumped in bed with someone else. It made me feel especially terrible when he kept apologizing and telling me how sorry he was. My mind plays back the conversation we shared over breakfast.
“I went anyway,” I blurt out, “with Travis.”
I think I see Sam’s face fall for a minute, but he recovers quickly. “You went with your roommate?” I can’t even imagine what he is thinking. After the way Travis has talked to him?
“Yeah,” I smile, “I got a giant turkey leg too.”
“Damn,” Sam mumbles under his breath. “That sucks ’cause I wanted to buy you that turkey leg, but I get it. I wasn’t there, so he swooped in. It’s not a big deal. I’ll make it up to you.”
He grins and acts adorable as I push my eggs around my plate. My eyes dart to his cast. “Are you going to be able to work with that thing?”
“I’ll find a way. That’s the go-getter attitude I have, you know? What’s a little broken arm?” He grins, and the guilt heightens.
Going into my room, I close the door and lie face down on my bed. The scent of Travis’s cologne is still lingering on my pillows. Rolling onto my side, I face the spot he had been lying in all night. I close my eyes, remembering the way his hands felt on my skin, how hot I burned for him. Our naked bodies moving together, becoming one. Heat rises and bubbles in my belly, remembering everything in acute detail. I can still hear our panting as he moved in and out of me. The sounds of our sex… I can feel his flesh gliding against mine. The heat of his breath on my neck, and the burn of his lips against my skin as he kissed all over me.
A knock on the door startles me, causing me to sit up with a start. When I look up, I find Travis staring at me. He’s leaning against the doorframe, looking sexier than any man has a right to. His arms are crossed over his chest, driving my attention to his well-defined biceps and broad shoulders. I try to read the emotions on his face, but it’s carefully blank.
“Hey, just letting you know I’m home,” he says.
“Welcome home,” I flash him an awkward grin. I have no idea where he’s been, but I know damn well it wasn’t with his father.
He clears his throat. “So, how was your breakfast date with Seth?” He looks down at the floor.
“His name is Sam, Travis.” I roll my eyes. “It went fine, I guess. But it probably won’t happen again,” I say, wondering why I said that. I can’t get this man in front of me out of my system. He’s a habit I want to break, but can’t seem to, much like my junk food eating.
Staring intently at his face, I watch as his tongue darts out over his bottom lip, and immediately, my mind goes to other places, and things he can do with that tongue. My pussy clenches and my stomach tingles. We shouldn’t. I shouldn’t. God, this is so bad.
“You look hot as fuck.” He smolders, and the look in his eyes shifts. His comment catches me off guard, and I continue to look at him, this time like a deer caught in the headlights of a moving car.
He’s wearing a simple, light blue T-shirt and a pair of track pants. The thin material of his shirt hugs his torso tightly, and it forces images of us pressed together through my head.
Suddenly, the air in my bedroom becomes electrically charged. I don’t know why I do it, or even how, but I climb off the bed, and my feet propel me across the room. The distance closes between us as I jump into his arms.
He catches me and brings his lips to mine, crashing down against mine. Moaning, I open my mouth and push my tongue into his. He tastes like coffee and sin. I can’t get enough of him as my hands move up and down his back.
Spinning us around, he pushes me up against the wall while lifting my shirt up, tugging it up and over my head. He tosses the fabric somewhere to the floor and shoves the cups of my bra down before lowering his head to take one of my erect nipples into his mouth. I gasp at the warmth of his mouth against my skin.
He sucks and then flicks his tongue over the hard nub. I groan in response and tug at his hair as he lightly bites it before giving equal attention to my other breast. A deep need pools in my stomach, and I push up against him, begging him without words as he sucks the nipple between his teeth.
Reaching between us, I shove my
hand down the front of his pants, and graze his hard cock. He hisses and sets me down on my feet just long enough to relieve me of my bra, pants, and panties. When he lifts me back up and presses into me, I move against the front of his pants and he grins before lifting me higher. Dropping to his knees, he puts my legs over his shoulders while my back is pressed to the wall.
Kissing up the inside of my thigh, he stops to lick and suck every couple of inches. My legs shake against his shoulders as he gets closer and closer to my center. When he finally makes it to the finish line, he uses both his hands to spread me wide open and dives in. He licks up my seam on the inside, causing me to shake even more violently before returning his mouth to my inner thighs. The air stills in my lungs, and my entire body burns. After he’s tortured them, he kisses from the top of my mound to my belly button. I moan and writhe in his arms, but he just continues to hold me against the wall and take his sweet, sweet time.
His flattened tongue licks the outside of my folds firmly before the tip flicks inside. He is going to make this last as long as possible, I can tell.
Placing his lips against my mound, he hums, first low and then louder, causing my sex to vibrate. The feeling is both pleasurable and unique. Rubbing his face back and forth over my sex so I can feel the stubble against my thighs, he spreads me open again and starts licking. He alternates pressure and speed in a way that keeps me guessing. My toes curl, and just when it feels like I’m going to orgasm, he pulls away. It’s beyond frustrating.
“Tell me when you’re about to come,” he says, looking up at me, my arousal glistening on his lips. I can imagine his arms are getting tired from holding me up. My body is wet with sweat, and my legs are trembling uncontrollably. He licks at a steady pace, sucking and plunging his tongue inside me. The tension in my body starts to build into one massive climax. I start pushing against his face.
“Yes, oh, yes,” I mewl, “Travis, I’m about to come.”
As soon as the words leave my lips, he stops. The high I felt as my orgasm built up starts to dissipate, and I look to see what he’s doing. He is still holding me up with one hand while he pushes his pants down with the other, I’m impressed.
He lifts me a bit on the wall, so the angle is right and then drives into me all the way to the hilt. I cry out and clutch onto him with my arms and legs as he starts thrusting fast. The buildup from before returns quickly, and I scream as he takes me there, slamming my back into the wall. I hear picture frames in the other room crash to the floor. Glass shatters, and I don’t give a damn. The only thing I care about is the man that is pistoning into me like a jackhammer.
“Jesus, Nina,” he huffs out, “you’re going to kill me.” I’m not sure what he means, but what a way to go.
Pulling my hair to get my head to tilt to the side, he sucks on my neck as he speeds up and finishes with a loud roar. He continues thrusting long after he’s done, and I not so shamefully grind on his cock until I come a second time.
When he puts me down, he kisses me and then leads me to my bed. “Lie down, gorgeous, I’ll be right back.”
I do lie down and think about how amazing that was. Sex with Travis is a full-on event, the main event. I feel sore and satisfied, but if he wanted it again, I could do it again. When he returns, I take my time in the bathroom and then come back. We lie on top of the covers, naked, letting the fan cool us. He strokes my hair as I lie on his chest. I like not having to talk about what this means and just enjoy being together. We can hash out all the relationship stuff later, right now, I just want to bask in post-coital bliss.
It’s perfect.
17
Travis
Lying in bed together feels good. If I can stay out of my own head and just enjoy being with her, then it will be okay. She’s perfect, and her body is warm and nestled against me. Her scent is all around me, and I breathe her in, never wanting this moment to end.
“This is nice,” she says. “Let’s just stay in bed all afternoon.”
“Okay.” I pull her closer, running a hand up and down her back. She cuddles deeper, and I wrap my other arm around her. Just appreciating this. Live in the moment, I tell myself.
Even now, in this happy moment, I can’t get those words out of my mind. The ones she said years ago, I just wanted to get it over with. They echo in the pits of my mind. She’s lazily stroking my chest, and I force myself to stay quiet, to forget what she said.
“Nina…” her name slips past my lips unwillingly.
Pulling away, she sits up and looks over at me.
“Did you find something in the bed? Food or wrappers?” She queries with wide eyes. “I’m sorry. I promise I don’t eat here all the time.”
“No.” I shake my head, a smile lingering on my lips before shoving up onto my elbows. “This. What is this? Us.” I gesture between the two of us, and she nods, understanding dawning on her face.
“Can’t we just enjoy the afterglow without having to put a label on it, Travis?” She shrugs one shoulder and gives me a slight smile.
She’s asking me to be cool, but I feel like if I don’t know the answer, then I’ll just continue to wonder. I’ll wonder if she’s going to drop me any minute for Sam. I’ll just let my mind spin until I go crazy with the need to know. I left town because of this very scenario before, and there’s no point in getting too involved if it’s just going to happen again. I decide to stand my ground. I have to know.
“No, we can’t. What is this?” I ask again.
“Okay, if we must do this now.” She sighs and bites her lip. For just a moment, I want to go back to when we were just lying there. I don’t want to know the truth, but I’ve opened this can of worms, so I’ve got to swallow whatever it is she tells me.
“I don’t know what this is. I’m just figuring it out. It feels good, and I want to be with you right now.” Her voice is low, and she seems to be teetering on frustration.
“Right now?” I ask, feeling the panic rise up in my chest. “Just right now?”
“Yes, that’s all I can give you. Right now. I just told you I wanted to spend the day in bed.” She shakes her head and runs her fingers through her hair. “What has gotten into you? We just had an amazing time together, and now you’ve ruined it by asking questions I’m not ready for.”
Standing, I start to pace the room naked. When I look over at Nina, her eyes are glued to my penis swaying from left to right like it’s hypnotizing her. I decide I should put my boxers on, so she doesn’t get too distracted.
Understandably, Nina looks confused. We were in such a good place a minute ago, and I want to get back to that place, but we have to go through this first. The anxiety and fear of the unknown are just too much. It shouldn’t matter this much to me, but I’ve realized that I still love her, and I have to find out if she feels the same. If she just wants me for right now, then I need to cut ties and run.
“Nothing has gotten into me. I just need to know what you think this is.” My heart is hammering, thundering in my chest. I can’t stop myself from ruining everything. It’s like I’ve floated above my body, and I’m watching this happen, but I can’t kick myself and say shut up, dude, you’re being an idiot right now.
“You’re freaking me out, Travis, maybe you should just go.”
That hits me like a ton of bricks square in the chest. Of all the things I thought she’d say, I didn’t expect her to tell me to leave. Now, I wonder if I should backpedal. Can I still salvage this? Do I want to salvage this?
As if she’s reasoning with herself, she says, “Yeah, you should go. We can talk about this later. Something has obviously got you agitated.” For some reason, her words set me off. Maybe it’s the rejection or dismissal, I don’t know, but I crumble into tiny pieces.
“You can’t just use people, Nina,” I yell, my face heating. “You can’t just screw me and then use Sam to take you out on nice dates.” I know I’ve gone too far before she says anything, hurt-filled eyes give away her reaction. She looks gutted like a fis
h plucked out of the water and sliced down the middle.
“Get out. Leave. If that’s what you think of me, then leave,” she exclaims coldly while pointing toward the door.
“Nina, I—”
“Out!” She yells one last time and turns her back on me. I don’t have a choice but to leave. I’m really good at screwing things up, at overthinking, and worrying. For a few minutes, I stare at her back.
When I finally realize there’s nothing I can do, I walk out of the room.
18
Nina
I sit on my bed, wondering what the hell just happened. Did he really think that I would jump into a relationship with him? I remember all too well how it felt when he stopped talking to me. It was agony when he just left town without even a goodbye. I won’t ever let myself get that close again. The sex is great, but that’s all it’s going to be, no matter how enticing the idea of us being together again is. I’m not getting hurt again.
The memory of him leaving me the first time will forever be engraved in my mind. I knew he was still talking to Grady and in a way that made things worse. I thought he wanted to be with me, but then he was gone, and never even tried to reach out to me. Lying back on the bed, I allow the memories to take over and relive that awful time before college when I was pretty sure I’d never fall in love again.
The night we were together, Travis was the sweetest and most attentive man in the world. I played the night over and over in my head for months after he left. I was trying to find any indication, any cracks in the memories that would show me what had gone wrong.
“You want to just stay here?” he asks. “We can just move into this apartment and get fat and make love all the time.”