by Jenna Reed
“Yes, we could stay here, but people would start to wonder where we were,” I say, laughing. “We both have to work.”
“You couldn’t just live in the fantasy with me for two seconds?” He kisses me softly. “I just wanted to pretend we could stay here.”
“I want to,” I tell him. Part of me truly fears if we don’t stay right where we are, things will change. What if sex changes things between us? I don’t want anything to change.
“Where are you?” He says, drawing me back to the present.
“Sorry, just thinking about having to leave. I’ve really wanted this to happen for a long time.”
“Me too,” he admits, pulling me into him.
After that first night, I didn’t want to seem too eager to talk to him, so I didn’t call him the next day. I knew we’d see each other soon, so I didn’t worry that we wouldn’t talk. But somehow, I managed to get the flu and spent the next three days in bed feeling awful.
The day of the Halloween party was the first day I’d felt better. It was my chance to talk to him and make sure we were okay after the sex. It had been amazing, even though I’d been nervous. All I knew was that Travis was a good kisser and he was very gentle with me. I’d made it seem like I wasn’t a virgin the whole time, but I had a feeling he knew that wasn’t true. He knew me too well.
The Halloween party was my chance to dress a little sexy, so I decided to go as Jessica Rabbit. Tati called me as I was putting the final touches on my costume. Red lipstick was a must.
“So, I think I’m going to tell him tonight,” she says out of the blue.
“Tell who what?” I ask absentmindedly while checking my hair. I’d opted to not wear a wig, and my hair wasn’t doing the sexy wave Jessica Rabbit’s did.
“Tell Travis, how I feel,” she explains. The air rushes out of my lungs, and I start coughing.
“What,” I say between hacks, “what do you mean?”
“I love him, and I’ve decided tonight is the night I tell him,” she repeats. She can’t be serious. We were best friends who told each other everything. How could she keep something like this from me? Of course, I guess I wasn’t any better, keeping the same from her. Shit.
“Since when?”
“Since always. I’ve mentioned it to you before,” she huffs.
“No,” I tell her, my chest tightening as I realize what this means. “You said you liked Grady. I would definitely remember if you said you liked Travis.”
At the time, I had been weirded out that she was into my brother, but I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t my business. I would have known if she said she was into Travis. I had a choice, tell her what happened or let it go. I chose to let it go for then and get to the party. I needed time to think.
Getting to the party, the first stop was to get some punch called Fire Juice. The bottles next to it tell me it’s mostly cheap vodka and sprite with orange juice for the color. A giant Minion scoops out two cups and hands them to us.
“Such hospitality.” Tati giggles as she takes one.
Out of nowhere, Grady runs up to us in a tattered sweatshirt, and his face painted like a skeleton.
“Hey, Tati,” he slurs, “I’ve come to suck your blood.”
“You’re not a vampire, dork.” I laugh while looking around for Travis. I need to talk to him about us, and the Tati development. We need to figure out what we’re going to do. A united front, that’s what we need.
“Where’s Travis?” I ask Grady, trying to sound nonchalant.
“He was working really hard on some couple’s costume. He’s trying to impress a girl,” Grady says before tickling Tati, which causes her to spill her drink. Both of them erupt in drunken laughter. I should probably laugh with them, but I feel like anything but.
“A couple’s costume?” I repeat, so quietly that no one hears me. How could he do this to me? It doesn’t make any sense. Where did this other girl come from? Is it because I didn’t call him right away, or did I do something wrong?
Grady takes off somewhere into the crowd, leaving me alone with Tati. “What’s the matter with you? You look like you’re about to cry.”
“I slept with Travis, all right. I didn’t know you loved him or whatever,” I make air quotes, “you never said a word.”
“Wow, you slut,” she spits, stinging me with her words. She’s never spoken to me like this before. “You couldn’t stand it, you had to have everything, didn’t you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She usually doesn’t drink, maybe the alcohol got to her.
“You slept with him to hurt me.” Tati burst into tears. “I thought you were my friend…”
And that’s why I downplayed the relationship to her. Now, I really wish I would have just stuck it to her. I wish I would have told her he loved me, and we had an epic night together.
Two months later, she started a vicious rumor about me but played my supportive best friend during the hard time. Then she started another rumor, and that time I found out that it was her.
Shaking my head, I try to forget that part of my life. I need to get the advice of a real friend. When Sloan and I met in college, I found out what a true friend is. They’re someone who is happy when you accomplish something and support you no matter what.
When I’m almost to the point of crying, I decide I have to call her. Grabbing my phone from my nightstand, I find her under my favorite numbers and hit the call button.
“Sloan, what are you up to?” I ask when she picks up.
“Screwing the mailman, what are you up to?”
“You’re what?”
“Oh, the new Fed Ex guy at work is super hot, so I invited him over to my house on my lunch break.”
I hear the sound of a kiss, and then a door shutting.
“He’s gone now, what’s up?”
“I’ve got so many questions,” I say, getting hung up on the mailman thing. “Does he have a big package?”
“He sure does,” she says.
“Does he come in snow, rain, or any weather?”
“He sure does,” she says again, “I could marry him based on his skills with that package alone. Okay, back to you.”
I fill her in on everything that’s happened since I saw her, which I now realize is a lot. I end with, “So then we had sex again, and he freaked out on me!”
“What did you do to that boy? You gave him the goods and blew his mind?” Sloan asks.
“No, this wasn’t a good freak out.”
“Oh, that’s disappointing.”
“Sloan! This is a real problem.”
“So is you not having a blindfold and cuffs in that nightstand.” She sighs. “What did he freak out about?”
“He said I can’t use him… like I was using him for sex or something.”
“That’s the best thing to be used for.” She snorts, and giggles then gives me another question. “Why the heck would he think you were using him? I mean, a blind man could see you like-like him.”
I think for a minute and can’t come up with anything. It seemed like he turned on a dime when the sweat wasn’t even dry. “It seemed to be coming from somewhere deep. I thought I knew him better than this. Sloan, now I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s time for the worst part of a blossoming relationship, darling. This is the part where you have to learn...” She pauses, then asks, “Ready?”
“What?” How am I friends with this woman?
“Brace yourself. This is where you learn to, gasp... communicate! Dun dun dun.” She pauses again. “And not just with your lady parts.”
“Thanks for that, Sloan.” I sigh, but she’s right. I need to talk to him and figure out what his damage is before things get too far gone. If I don’t address it and let it go, we could end up in the same place we were years ago when he broke my heart.
I’ve been protective of it, but maybe I just need to take a leap of faith and hope he catches me.
19
Travis
Without anywhere to go, I just sit in my car. Part of me wants to go back in and just say, I’m an idiot, and here is why. Apologize, beg and plead, and then spend the rest of the day between her thighs. I mean, maybe if I tell her what I heard that night, she’ll understand me now. Perhaps she’ll explain to me what happened. I remember everything she told me when we were in that little apartment together.
She said she wanted to stay there for always and promised me the world. I need to ask her what changed between that point and the night of the party.
I slam my hand against the steering wheel in frustration. The stubborn part of me says, nope. I’m not going to beg her to be with me. But the other part of me says if I don’t at least try and talk to her, we will be back at square one. Finally, I decide I need a beer and some bar peanuts to clear my head. The bar is always there, which may or may not be a good thing. Driving down the road, I pull into Wonderly’s bar. I suck in a harsh breath as I enter the bar, the smell of smoke, sweat, and beer permeate the air.
The place is mostly empty. I walk up to the bar and take a seat before ordering the house draft. The first beer takes some time to get down, but the second flows better. It’s early, so only the true drunks are in the bar with me. One older man in red flannel is asleep; his soft snores fill my ears. I raise my brows at the bartender.
“He just needed a nap,” she says as she cleans a glass. “Willis is in here every day, and his wife comes to get him when she gets off her shift at the mill. It’s sad, really, but I’m not heartless. The man’s got nowhere to go, so I just let him sleep here.”
“That’s good,” I tell her and put money down for the beer. I start thinking about the old man and how, despite being asleep in a bar by himself, he still has a loving wife to come and fetch him. Even as fucked up as he is, he’s still miles ahead of me. At least he landed the girl. I can’t even manage that.
My phone starts to ring, and I pull it out, seeing my father’s name flash across the screen. Tomorrow is a big day for the greenhouse, we’re finishing up all the structure. Hitting the answer key, I mumble a hello into the speaker.
“Hey, Son. What are you doing?”
“I’m just having a late lunch, what’s up?” I don’t share my drinking habits with my dad, he hasn’t picked up a drink in twenty years.
“So, Lily Lawrence called me today, and their main guy broke his leg last week. They can use a new contractor for their project, and since you’re living with that girl. I didn’t know if you’d be sticking around and want to help out. I mean, we’re almost done with the greenhouse.”
“I don’t think I’m going to be here after we’re done, Dad. The girl is just an old friend.” Even as I say the words, it hurts me, probably because deep down, I know I’m lying. I’d worked for Lily and Daniel Lawrence in high school and a little time after. They were good people, and I wouldn’t mind working for them, but…
“Well, think about it. It’ll be good to have you around more,” my dad says. “See you tomorrow.”
Once again, I sit in my car. If I’d had any more beer, I wouldn’t be able to drive. I can’t shake the old guy from the bar. His wife did pick him up, and I wonder if I’ll ever have anything like they have?
Sydney pops into my head. We were together for a long time, but she and I never had a future. Why the hell I put up with her for so long, I don’t know. We were terrible for each other. She is a hot mess in the worst way, and hanging out with her was the reason I lost a job. I can’t imagine Nina doing anything besides supporting me. That is if she wants me.
I guess there is only one way to find out. But first, I need to do something I should have done years ago. I need to tell Grady. He is going to be super pissed, but it is time to come clean. He knows me, and he knows her.
Grady lives with his roommate, Owen, on the complete opposite side of town from Nina and me, so I am glad I didn’t drink more than one beer. I start the car and head his way. Taking out my phone, I give him a quick call to let him know I’m coming.
“Hey, man,” he says when he answers, “I was just about to play Owen, you want to come over?”
“Yes, I’m actually on my way already,” I say, “I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“Whoa, sounds heavy. Should I be worried?”
“No, but it’s important, okay?”
“All right,” his usual carefree tone turns somber, “come on over.”
I drive to Grady’s apartment complex and stare at his door. The Hills is a nice place with a pool and sauna. He’s done well for himself and is saving to buy a house. I don’t want to go in, but I’ve postponed the inevitable long enough. It’s time to man up, and most likely get punched in the face.
I walk into the bachelor pad and see Owen lounging on the couch. He looks like a California skater kid with his shaggy blond hair, hell, he even talks like one.
“What’s up, dude,” he says, “Cheese-It?”
He holds up the biggest bag of Cheese-It’s I’ve ever seen.
“Uhhh, no thanks, man,” I decline, taking the seat next to him.
Grady comes out of his bedroom and throws a football at me. I catch it before it hits me in the face.
“You dick,” I growl, throwing it back in his face.
“Love you too, man.” He returns, throwing it at Owen this time. He ignores it, and it crashes into the lamp on the table next to the couch. Owen gets up, putting the lamp back on the table.
“All right,” Owen says, “Enough fun and games, kids. I gotta go to work.”
“Where you working?” I ask.
“I took on a part-time job at the tanning bed place. Didn’t you notice the gorgeous tan I have?”
I shake my head, he does look tanner, but I don’t make it a habit to check these things out. After Owen leaves, I take a deep breath.
“Tell me what’s going on. You made it sound serious on the phone.” Grady pushes.
“Okay, I need to tell you some things, but you can’t get mad enough to kill me. You can get mad, but don’t kill me. Please.”
“Oh, this sounds like it’s going to be insane.” Grady blinks slowly and moves over to the chair away from me.
I tell him about Nina in high school and how we started flirting. I tell him how nothing happened until we got out of school, and even then, it took a long time. After I explain the beginnings, I tell him about the end. I explain the reason I left town, and as I’m talking, Grady’s face is getting redder and redder. He’s angry, so I just keep going and tell him the entire story with the latest occurrence and the words we exchanged.
Grady doesn’t say anything for a long time. It’s terrifying, just waiting for a reaction.
“You can punch me if you want,” I tell him. “I would get it if you do. Hell, I would get it if you want to do more than that.”
He suddenly stands up, and I get ready to get punched in the face, but instead, he gets out his phone from his pocket. “I’m calling her,” he says and rushes out of the room.
“Fuck,” I say to the empty room. This can’t be a good thing.
20
Nina
After I hang up with Sloan, I pace around my room, trying to come up with a plan. I don’t want to try and go find Travis, that will be too difficult. At some point, he’ll have to come back home and shower. So then, I will ask him what’s wrong.
My phone rings and I see Grady is calling me.
“Hello, Brother,” I answer.
“What are you thinking? You and Travis?”
I’m taken aback by his tone. Of course, I know what he’s talking about, but I need to play dumb, at least for now.
“What do you mean?”
“All this time and you didn’t tell me? My best friend and my sister? Ugh. How could you? He is like a brother to me, and you’re like a sister to me.”
“I am your sister…”
“Exactly, that’s why this is all so weird. You two go together as well as peanut butter and pic
kles. You met Sydney, and that means you know the kind of relationships Travis involves himself in. He’s not for you, little sister. You’ll only get hurt.”
“No, Grady, you don’t understand. Travis and I have been together before. Right before he left town, actually.”
“I do understand. He told me everything, and I know that he left, and you cried for months. That’s not a healthy thing to revisit.”
“What did you think was going to happen if you put us in the same living quarters?”
“Not this. I didn’t know any of this,” Grady screeches. “Why is now any different than then?”
“I just think maybe we weren’t ready then,” I tell him honestly.
“And you’re ready now to what, be serious?”
“Maybe,” I say, thinking about it for the first time. “I mean if he is. Look, I don’t know, this whole day has been weird.”
“He’s upset,” Grady finally says, “I think he really cares about you, and that just freaks me out.”
Laughing into the phone, I say, “I get that. Travis and I need to work on talking to each other. Don’t say anything to him until I figure out what I want to tell him.” If he’s talking to Grady about me, maybe he’s not checked out, at least not completely.
“All right, I’m still going to kill him though.” Grady hangs up before I can respond. He sounds angry but less than before, so hopefully, he’s joking about killing him. If not, well… I hope Travis can run fast.
Travis
Grady returns to the living room a few minutes later and paces in front of me. I swear he’s going to wear a hole in the floor if he keeps it up.
Finally, he turns to me, his face filled with an unreadable emotion. “I guess she cares about you, but you really did destroy her for a little while when you left. Now thinking about it, I’m stupid for not putting one and one together sooner. You left, and she didn’t sleep or eat, and I was scared and angry.”
“She destroyed me too, there’s more to the story, things I haven’t told you yet.”