Chicken Soup for the African American Soul

by Jack Canfield

  I wasn’t the only teacher or leader. There were others— many others—and each of us carried the same burden. We cared. And because we cared, it hurt deeply when we lost a child.

  I kept thinking of the funerals I had been to during the past ten years—more than I wanted to remember. Some of those we buried were young—elementary- and middle-school kids who happened to be playing in the wrong place when a fight broke out.

  When I was a boy, I had gone to funerals—but they were only for old people. I’d stare at their lined faces and gray hair, and it felt peaceful. They had lived their lives, but these kids were eight, ten or fourteen years old.

  They’d never know what life really is. Too many inner-city kids grew up too fast—if they grew up—seeing the harshness of life on the streets every day. For the ten-year period beginning in 1990, I mentally ticked off almost twenty of my former students who had been murdered. That’s something I never thought about when I was studying to be a teacher. No education classes had ever mentioned coping with such grief.

  Too many funerals.

  The world is larger than North Philadelphia and bigger than the ghettos, I kept saying to myself. Education is their passport to another world. As I drove toward the university, I vowed afresh that I would give every child a passport to go wherever he or she wanted to go.

  I know I’m impacting lives and careers—and that’s encouraging, but I’m just one person. I would have such a short time to impact each of these children. At most, I’d have six years to point them in new directions. That didn’t seem long enough.

  I had debated about calling Otis before we left Philadelphia, but I decided not to. I wanted to be there and to watch his face the moment he spotted us.

  Shawnna and I sat in the shade near the stadium stairs. It was almost one hundred degrees that Sunday, and several people collapsed from the intense sun and heat.

  I fidgeted and squirmed until the graduating students marched in procession.

  It took me a few seconds to spot Otis. I stared at him, hardly aware that tears had filled my eyes.

  When he saw Shawnna and me, his eyes lit up and he grinned. I couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I didn’t care. Otis had made it! He had beaten the poverty and the drugs and the peer pressure. He was alive and graduating from college. Between the pride and the tears, I paid little attention to the rest of the ceremony.

  As soon as the graduation was over, Otis rushed over and hugged us. We made him pose for pictures alone, then with other classmates, with me, with Shawnna and me, with professors. I couldn’t get enough pictures of him in his graduation gown.

  At least four times Otis thanked us for coming. He couldn’t seem to get over the idea that Shawnna and I would drive all the way from Philadelphia to see him graduate.

  “When I called, I really didn’t expect you to come,” Otis said.

  “I’m not sure you understand, Otis,” I said. “I needed to come to this graduation. I had to come. I’ve been to too many funerals. I needed to go to a graduation. I need to go to many of them. I hope that many more of my students will give me the opportunity to come and see them graduate and reach their goals and continue to hold to the commitments that they’ve made to themselves and to me.”

  When I attend funerals, I weep over those kids and I ask myself and God how I can go to another one. Almost immediately, I find comfort in one thought: If I quit teaching, if I left the inner city, if I stopped reaching out to these kids, how many more funerals will take place that I might have prevented?

  Then the pain eases. I know I need to keep teaching.

  As I looked at Otis, standing there in his cap and gown, more than ever, I knew why I still choose to stay in the inner city.

  Salome Thomas-El

  Senior Editor’s Message:

  And the Winner Is . . .

  When I was in fifth grade, my teacher assigned us the task of writing an essay for a contest on “What It Means to Be a Good Citizen of the Fifth Grade.” I have no memory of what I wrote in my essay, but I suspect I said things like “We must respect each other and be nice to each other,” which, now as a citizen of a much bigger classroom, I still believe to this day. I probably added something that pleased my teacher like, “We must follow the rules and do as we are told.” I wrote my essay, turned it in and promptly forgot all about it.

  One day as I was getting ready for school, my mother started behaving strangely. I had put on my dental headgear which I seldom if ever wore to school and which my parents were always reminding me to wear. On that day, Mom told me not to wear it to school.

  Odd, I thought, and took it off as I was told.

  Then she told me as I was walking out the door, “If anything makes you nervous at school, take a deep breath and think of the Lord.”

  Good advice for sure, but odd again, I thought.

  As my class headed in a single-file line toward the assembly in which the winners of the essay contest were to be announced, one of my friends said, “Evey, your mom is here. I saw her up by the office.”

  Really, really, really odd, I thought, starting to wonder if I was in trouble for something. It was then that I started to put all the pieces together. I must have won the essay contest and that was why my mom hadn’t wanted me to wear my headgear! She must have come to school to see me read my essay out loud in front of the whole school! My stomach started churning and I was short of breath. There, again, another puzzle piece fit as I remembered my mother’s advice. I began chanting the name of the Lord and taking deep breaths in anticipation of what was yet to come.

  I did, indeed, win the contest and was called to the front of the cafeteria to read my essay, which I managed to do without any great mishap or embarrassment. As my prize, the school gave me a book about Martin Luther King Jr. with a big picture of him on the cover. At the time, I remember thinking it was an odd prize for an eleven-year-old white girl. Certainly, I had heard of Martin Luther King, but even as winner of the “What It Means to Be a Good Citizen” contest, I couldn’t have told you much about him.

  Even without reading it, I knew that there was something special about the book. I moved it with me over the years from Southern California to Northern, from Northern California back to Southern. I moved it from California to Hawaii, and I still own and treasure it to this day—now, more than thirty years later.

  The gift of that book was a destiny, a planted seed, even more than a book I was supposed to read, or a prize for my essay. Now, as senior editor of Chicken Soup for the African American Soul, I am reading essays, stories, memories, triumphs, tragedies and celebrations about what it means to be a citizen of the African American culture. I had a role in selecting the “winners,” during two years of reading more than 3,000 raw and unedited stories. But, I am the real winner, honored with the opportunity to look into the hearts and souls of thousands of African American people. I was educated; I didn’t know how much I didn’t know. I was blessed with a new understanding of the trials, tribulations and successes. I was crushed under the weight of some stories and elevated by the levity of others. I cried from the depths of my soul and laughed so hard tears rolled from my eyes. I was called “Sistah” via e-mail—where the walls of color are invisible, and I glowed, yes glowed, with the joy of connection and acceptance. While some stories made it into the book and others did not, rest assured that they all, you all—each and every one—made it into my heart. And I give thanks, for I will never, ever again be an ignorant white girl.

  Eve Eschner Hogan

  Who Is Jack Canfield?

  Jack Canfield is one of America’s leading experts in the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He is both a dynamic, entertaining speaker and a highly sought-after trainer. Jack has a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences toward increased levels of self-esteem and peak performance.

  He is the author and narrator of several bestselling audio- and videocassette programs, including Self-Esteem
and Peak Performance, How to Build High Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem in the Classroom and Chicken Soup for the Soul—Live. He is regularly seen on television shows such as Good Morning America, 20/20 and NBC Nightly News. Jack has coauthored numerous books, including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Dare to Win and The Aladdin Factor (all with Mark Victor Hansen), 100 Ways to Build Self-Concept in the Classroom (with Harold C. Wells), Heart at Work (with Jacqueline Miller), The Power of Focus (with Les Hewitt and Mark Victor Hansen) and Chicken Soup for the Soul Life Lessons.

  Jack is a regularly featured speaker for professional associations, school districts, government agencies, churches, hospitals, sales organizations and corporations. His clients have included the American Dental Association, the American Management Association, AT&T, Campbell’s Soup, Clairol, Domino’s Pizza, GE, ITT, Hartford Insurance, Johnson & Johnson, the Million Dollar Roundtable, NCR, New England Telephone, Re/Max, Scott Paper, TRW and Virgin Records. Jack has taught on the faculty of Income Builders International, a school for entrepreneurs.

  Jack conducts an annual seven-day Living Your Highest Vision Training program. It attracts entrepreneurs, sales professionals, corporate trainers, professional speakers, and others interested in creating and living their ideal life.

  Look for Jack’s latest book The Success Principles on the shelf in January 2005.

  Self-Esteem Seminars

  P.O. Box 30880

  Santa Barbara, CA 93130

  phone: 805-563-2935 • fax: 805-563-2945

  Web site: www.jackcanfield.com

  Who Is Mark Victor Hansen?

  In the area of human potential, no one is more respected than Mark Victor Hansen. For more than thirty years, Mark has focused solely on helping people from all walks of life reshape their personal vision of what’s possible. His powerful messages of possibility, opportunity and action have created powerful change in thousands of organizations and millions of individuals worldwide.

  He is a sought-after keynote speaker, bestselling author and marketing maven. Mark’s credentials include a lifetime of entrepreneurial success and an extensive academic background. He is a prolific writer with many bestselling books such as The One Minute Millionaire, The Power of Focus, The Aladdin Factor and Dare to Win, in addition to the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Mark has made a profound influence through his library of audios, videos and articles in the areas of big thinking, sales achievement, wealth building, publishing success, and personal and professional development.

  Mark is the founder of the MEGA Seminar Series. MEGA Book Marketing University and Building Your MEGA Speaking Empire are annual conferences where Mark coaches and teaches new and aspiring authors, speakers and experts on building lucrative publishing and speaking careers. Other MEGA events include MEGA Marketing Magic and My MEGA Life.

  He has appeared on television (Oprah, CNN and The Today Show), in print (Time, U.S. News & World Report, USA Today, New York Times and Entrepreneur) and on countless radio interviews, assuring our planet’s people that “You can easily create the life you deserve.”

  As a philanthropist and humanitarian, Mark works tirelessly for organizations such as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, March of Dimes, Childhelp USA and many others. He is the recipient of numerous awards that honor his entrepreneurial spirit, philanthropic heart and business acumen. He is a lifetime member of the Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans, an organization that honored Mark with the prestigious Horatio Alger Award for his extraordinary life achievements.

  Mark Victor Hansen is an enthusiastic crusader of what’s possible and is driven to make the world a better place.

  Mark Victor Hansen & Associates, Inc.

  P.O. Box 7665

  Newport Beach, CA 92658

  phone: 949-764-2640

  fax: 949-722-6912

  Visit Mark online at: www.markvictorhansen.com

  Who Is Lisa Nichols?

  Lisa Nichols is a dynamic motivational speaker and advocate of personal empowerment. She is the founder and president of Motivating the Masses, Inc., which provides transformational workshops for adults, and the founder and CEO of Motivating the Teen Spirit, LLC which is recognized by many as the most comprehensive program available today for teen self-development. Motivating the Teen Spirit has impacted the lives of over 35,000 teens, prevented over 850 suicides, reunited thousands of teens with their parents, and influenced more than 575 teen dropouts to return to school. The program provides services to the educational system, leadership programs, juvenile justice system and youth serving agencies.

  Lisa is also a motivational speaker, delivering powerful and thought-provoking seminars to standing-room-only audiences of empowered women, entrepreneurs, investors, parents, educators, juvenile justice employees and adult youth advocates. Her no-holds-barred messages include powerful energy, personal testimonies and eye-opening interactive processes. She is known not to leave a dry eye in the house as she moves the audience towards giving themselves permission to be completely comfortable with who they are. Her personal coaching to CEOs, entrepreneurs, investors, principals, pastors and parents helps get people clear on their vision, their roadblocks, their power and their possibilities.

  For her work and dedication, Lisa has received the 2003 Trail Blazers Entrepreneurs award, LEGOLAND Heart of Learning award, and the Emotional Literacy award. November 20th was proclaimed by the Mayor of Henderson, Nevada as Motivating the Teen Spirit Day. Lisa was born and raised in Los Angeles and loves to dance, swim, skate, play laser tag and read. She and her son, Jelani, live in Southern California.

  Please visit www.AfricanAmericanSoul.com for continuous updates, events and African American resources.

  Web site: www.AfricanAmericanSoul.com

  E-mail: mtts@ureach.com or Lisa@AfricanAmericanSoul.com

  For information regarding

  Motivating the Teen Spirit or

  booking Lisa as a speaker: 858-376-3700

  Who Is Tom Joyner?

  Tom Joyner is one of the most influential, inspirational, and dynamic personalities in the country. The native of Tuskegee, Alabama, is founder of REACH Media Inc., the Tom Joyner Foundation, BlackAmericaWeb.com, and host of the nationally syndicated Tom Joyner Morning Show. This four-hour, drive-time radio show offers a daily dose of information, entertainment and tons of pride for his nearly eight million listeners in 115 markets around the country.

  In the mid-1980’s Joyner earned national recognition as the “Fly Jock” when he hosted both morning and afternoon drive time shows. Everyday, for nearly eight years, he flew between two cities in order to host his shows, earning him more than seven million frequent flyer miles. In 1994, he syndicated the Tom Joyner Morning Show as part of the ABC Radio Network and in 2004, REACH Media Inc. took over ownership of the show that has garnered the largest audience of any urban radio program.

  Joyner’s efforts over the years have been widely recognized. He has received the Good Samaritan Award from the National Broadcasters Education Foundation (NABEF), and he is an inductee into the Radio Hall of Fame. Savoy magazine named him their 2002 Person of the Year, and he is a four-time winner of the Billboard Award. His Tom Joyner Foundation, which has raised more than $25 million, helps fund students in need who are attending Historically Black Colleges and Universities across the nation. Joyner’s wife, Donna Richardson, is a world-renowned fitness guru. His two sons, Thomas Jr. and Oscar, are integral parts of his business.

  Learn more about Tom Joyner at:

  www.blackamericaweb.com.

  Who Is Eve Hogan?

  Eve Eschner Hogan, senior editor of Chicken Soup for the African American Soul, is an inspirational speaker and the author of Way of the Winding Path: A Map for the Labyrinth of Life, Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be, Virtual Foreplay: Making Your Online Relationship a Real-Life Success, and coauthor of Rings of Truth.

  Founder of Wings to Wisdom: Tools for Self-Mastery, Eve facilitates personal and spiri
tual growth workshops. She writes an advice column for newspapers and Web sites guiding readers to create healthier relationships. She possesses a rare and deep understanding of human behavior and is a true example of the principles she shares. Her charismatic style captivates listeners, igniting people’s enthusiasm and joy for life.

  Eve has been featured as a relationship expert on Lifetime TV, Iyanla, The Other Half and in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and Bride magazines. Her special interest is in helping people discover their own inner resources, thus expanding their strengths and life skills. She leaves her audiences empowered with the skills to effect positive change in their lives. Eve lives on the island of Maui with her husband, Steve. Together they run Makena Coast Dive Charters, enjoying the underwater world of Hawaii.

  Look for Eve’s latest book, How to Love Your Marriage, on bookshelves spring 2005.

  Wings to Wisdom: Tools for Self-Mastery

  P.O. Box 943, Puunene, Maui, HI 96784

  phone: 808-879-8648 • fax: 808-879-8201

  E-mail: Eve@HeartPath.com

  www.EveHogan.com and www.MauiUnderwater.com

  Contributors

  Dr. Jarralynne Fletcher Agee is a psychologist working at UC Berkeley in the Department of Workforce Development. Her passion centers on helping others develop their best selves in their career and personal lives. She achieves this through print, in-person and radio consultations with people from across the U.S. She lives in California with her husband Robert and two sons, Trey and Quest. To contact Jarralynne, e-mail her at ageesoul@yahoo.com.

  For over a decade, Wally Amos has been the national spokesman for Literacy Volunteers of America, Inc., in addition to also actively supporting and working with other charities and causes. The recipient of many honors and awards, Wally Amos received an honorary Doctorate in Education from Johnson & Wales University. His autobiography, The Face That Launched a Thousand Chips, was published in 1983. His most recent book is titled Watermelon Magic: Seeds of Wisdom, Slices of Life. In it, he uses watermelon as a metaphor for life, sharing his personal path to wisdom, humor, joy and a positive outlook on life.