Understood

by Maya Banks

  to caress his abdomen and fiddle in the fine line of hair that ran from his navel to the hollow in his chest.

  Then she lowered her head and ran her tongue over the same muscled ridges her fingers had just traced. He flinched and let out a desperate moan. She smiled.

  “Faster, sweetheart. Ride me faster.”

  His hands urged her on as his movements became desperate. He was close. She could feel the swell as he grew more rigid inside her.

  She did as he asked, wanting to give him back the pleasure he’d given her.

  He closed his eyes tight and arched into her. His fingers pressed into the flesh of her hips as he surged one last time. He cried out as he erupted, and satisfaction gripped her.

  “Come here,” he muttered as he gathered her in his arms.

  He pulled her down to him until her cheek pressed against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and ran gentle fingers through her hair.

  “You are an incredible, incredible woman, Ellie.”

  She smiled against his chest. Then she raised her head so she could kiss him. A yawn escaped her as she burrowed back underneath his chin.

  “Are you staying over?” she asked. She hadn’t considered whether or not he’d stay the night or want to. It seemed senseless for him to go home at this hour.

  He continued stroking her hair. “Do you want me to?”

  “Mmm hmmm.”

  “Then I’m staying. Can’t think of anything better than to wake up with you all curled up in my arms.”

  A warm, happy glow lit her cheeks. She couldn’t imagine anything better either.

  Chapter Eight

  Ellie opened her eyes and yawned broadly. She stretched and curled deeper into the bed. Jake had gotten up early and gone in to work after issuing strict instructions for her to take the day off. Then he’d made some rather lewd remarks about what he’d like to do on his lunch break.

  She grinned and glanced over at her bedside clock. It was still early, and she had plenty of time before Jake would pop back in. A long bath. And breakfast. She was starving.

  Her body protested as she moved to get out of bed. She was sore from her and Jake’s lovemaking, but damn had it been worth every second.

  As she walked by the TV, she flipped it on then went to rummage in her closet for something to wear. She liked the noise. She didn’t deal well with silence.

  But when she heard Ray Hatcher’s name, she froze. Slowly, she turned around and walked to the door of her closet. She shouldn’t let it affect her. She should pay no attention, but hearing his name still had the power to knock her off balance.

  She stood frozen, staring at the object of her nightmares on screen. He was smiling, but then he’d always been charming. He looked young and carefree, like a twenty-something instead of a thirty-something “old” NFL quarterback.

  He was being interviewed. Her ears picked up that much. The host was abuzz with the news of Ray’s contract extension. Several minutes passed as she stared dumbly at the screen.

  Then she heard her name, and horror crawled over her, clouding her mind in a flash of fear and hatred. The interviewer was asking about Ray’s marriage and the bastard, the bastard, sat there and let the lies roll off his lips as easily as if he were talking about the weather.

  Infidelity. Adultery. He was crushed. He loved Ellie, and it had devastated him when he discovered their marriage was in ruins.

  Her hand flew to her mouth as the host donned an appropriate expression of pity as they discussed the intimate details of Ray’s private life.

  But things were looking up. He’d found a new love interest. His career was back on track after a shaky few years. He’d moved past his ex-wife’s transgression.

  Oh God, she was going to vomit.

  She ran for the bathroom, tears streaming down her face. How could he? How could he destroy the only thing she had left? Her integrity. The knowledge that she had done nothing but love the wrong man.

  She threw herself at the toilet and dry heaved as her stomach rolled and protested.

  There had been plenty of speculation surrounding Ellie’s divorce from the local golden boy. Lots of stares and whispers, but the locals never had anything to back up their idle murmurings. Until now.

  She forgot about a bath. Breakfast. Jake. Nothing mattered but getting out of the house. The walls were closing around her, stifling her, smothering her.

  She stumbled to the sink and threw cold water on her face. She hastily pulled her hair back into a ponytail and secured it with a rubber band. Then she went into the bedroom to yank on some clothing.

  Ray still stared at her from the TV. She picked up a vase from her dresser and hurled it at the offending image. The vase and the TV screen shattered on impact, and she had the satisfaction of seeing Ray’s face disappear.

  She shoved her feet into a pair of loafers, grabbed her purse from the dresser and headed out to her car. The cool air rushed over her cheeks as she stepped outside. She shivered slightly. She hadn’t stopped to get a jacket.

  Her hands wrapped around the steering wheel. She had no memory of getting into the car or starting it. She backed from her driveway with no sense of direction or purpose. She needed to escape. And so she ran.

  “He said what?” Jake all but yelled into his cell phone. “You’ve got to be shitting me. If this is some sort of joke, Luke, it ain’t funny.”

  “I wouldn’t fuck with you or Ellie over something like this,” Luke said. “Ellie wasn’t in this morning when I hit the office. I’m hoping you have something to do with that and not Ray.”

  Jake dragged a hand through his hair and started for his truck. “Goddamn. I hope she hasn’t seen it. Not that it fucking matters. It’ll be all over town by tonight.”

  Luke sighed over the phone. “I didn’t see the show, but Gracie did. She called me awhile ago. She said he really did a number on Ellie.”

  “Fuck! That slimy little bastard. I’d like nothing better than to kick his ass right now.”

  “Calm down, Jake. I didn’t call to piss you off. I was hoping you knew where Ellie was and if she was okay.”

  “I’m heading over there now. I told her to take the day off. She was home when I left this morning. Hopefully she’s still there sleeping in.”

  “Okay, man. Let me know if there’s something I can do.”

  “Thanks, Luke.”

  Jake slapped the cell phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket. He closed his eyes and swore. Why now? Why when he was so close to making Ellie happy again did Ray have to wreck everything?

  Even if Ellie hadn’t seen the show, how the hell could he possibly keep her from finding out? They lived in small town, Texas, for God’s sake. It was the small town motto. Know thy neighbor as thy self.

  He got behind the wheel of his truck and drove as fast as he could to Ellie’s. Halfway there, he spotted Wes Hoffman’s squad car. Wes flashed his lights at him as he tore by, and Jake flipped him the bird. Luckily it wasn’t a different cop or he’d have been pulled over.

  His cell phone rang a few seconds later. He dug it out of his pocket keeping one hand on the wheel and glanced at the LCD screen. Wes.

  “Yeah,” Jake said as he put the phone to his ear.

  “Where you going in such a hurry?” Wes asked. “Be damned glad I met my quota of tickets this month or I’d write your ass up.”

  Usually Jake would have grinned and given him hell right back, but he wasn’t in the mood.

  “It’s Ellie,” he said. “I don’t have time to get into it. If you want the story, holler at Luke.”

  There was a short pause. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No, but I appreciate it. I’ll talk at you later.”

  Jake hung up and tossed the phone aside. He knew Wes felt a lot of responsibility for what had gone on with Ellie, but it was hardly Wes’s fault. It was the dumbass cop on duty the night Ellie had asked for help. Jeremy and Wes both had been torn up when they found out that Ellie had gone to
the police and basically been ignored.

  It wasn’t long after that the cop who had handled Ellie’s complaint had left. Jake was certain Wes and Jeremy had a lot to do with that.

  A few minutes later, he pulled into Ellie’s driveway only to see her car gone. He frowned. They’d made plans to have lunch together. Maybe she was out on a quick errand. He hoped like hell she hadn’t seen the story.

  He got out and walked in to see if she’d left him a note. He didn’t find one on the coffee table or the kitchen table. When he stuck his head in the bedroom, he knew without a doubt she’d seen the show. Shards of glass littered the floor and the TV screen was completely busted out.

  He swore viciously even as fear clutched at his chest. Where had she gone? Why hadn’t she called him? He could only imagine how upset she was.

  A dull ache invaded his temples. Did she not trust him enough to run to him? Or was she too busy running away?

  He hurried back out to his truck and climbed in. He picked up his phone and punched in Luke’s number.

  “Ellie saw it. No doubt in my mind,” he said when Luke picked up.

  He quickly explained the scene in her bedroom and that her car was gone.

  Luke swore. “I haven’t seen her, but I’ll be on the lookout.”

  “If you see her, make her stay put. Then call me.”

  “I will. Want me to call Jeremy and Wes and have them keep an eye out as well?”

  “I just spoke to Wes so I’ll call him. You call Jeremy.”

  They rang off and Jake immediately placed a call to Wes.

  “Did you get the story from Luke?” Jake asked as his way of greeting when Wes answered.

  “Yeah, man, that sucks.”

  “Ellie saw it. And she’s upset. I don’t know where she’s gone, but I’m looking now. Do me a favor. If you see her, make sure she stays put until I get there.”

  “Will do,” Wes said. “I can have the other on-duty guys keep an eye out as well. If she’s out driving around, someone will see her.”

  Jake thanked him and hung up. He backed out of Ellie’s driveway and put his brain to work figuring out where the hell she would have gone.

  Chapter Nine

  It was the last place Jake had thought to look, but in retrospect, he supposed it made the most sense. It was where it had all started.

  He stared up into the bleachers of the high school football stadium to where Ellie sat staring out over the field. Where she’d watched him and Ray play as teenagers.

  She hadn’t seen him yet. Her attention was focused on some distant object, or maybe she wasn’t seeing anything at all.

  He started up the steps. When he got to the bleacher she was sitting on, he sat down beside her. He reached over to take her hand but didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure what to say anyway.

  Tiny quakes emanated from her. Her hand trembled in his. A ragged sigh tore from her lips. It was a sound that ripped his heart right open. He knew she was battling to keep it together.

  “Why?” she whispered. “Why?”

  She broke off and turned her head away from him. But not before he saw her tears.

  “I’ve never understood why,” she said brokenly. “I was faithful. I loved him. I supported him. Why did he despise me so much? Why now, when he’s been out of my life for two years, does he feel the need to destroy me?”

  Jake wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and bent to kiss the top of her head.

  “He’s a bastard, Ellie. You’re better than him. You’ve always been better, and he knows that. It eats at him. The only way he can justify the things he’s done is by tearing you down.”

  Her body shook with her muffled sobs. Jake held on to her, not knowing what he could say or do to ease her pain. This helplessness scared him. He could feel her slipping away, back to the shell of a woman who’d barely existed after the divorce. He wouldn’t lose her to that woman.

  Ellie buried her head in Jake’s chest, trying to absorb his strength and warmth. Maybe if she infused herself with enough of his steel, she wouldn’t hurt so bad.

  “What am I going to do, Jake?”

  He stroked his hand through her hair, gently sorting through the strands with his fingers.

  “You’re going to hold your head high. That’s what you’re going to do.”

  “Everyone in the world thinks I’m the reason for our divorce now,” she said bitterly. “They think I slept around on the Golden Boy and broke his heart.”

  Jake pulled her away and cupped her chin in his hand. Then he bent to kiss her lips. She closed her eyes as yet more tears escaped.

  “It doesn’t matter what they think.” He continued to rub his thumb over her cheekbone.

  “The divorce was humiliating enough,” she whispered. “And now this. At least before all they had was conjecture. Now, they have Mr. Perfect, Mr. All-American, crying into a camera saying how horrible his wife was. If they didn’t hate me before, they’ll hate me now.”

  “Is it important that they love you, Ellie?”

  She flinched. “No. It’s not important. The only person I want to love me…” She broke off in horror at what she’d nearly admitted.

  “Is who?” he prompted.

  She shook her head, refusing to answer his question.

  “Maybe I’m not that person, Ellie, but I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  Her gaze flew back to his face. Her eyes widened at his statement. “Always?”

  “Always,” he said softly.

  She opened her mouth then ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. “I don’t understand.”

  To her surprise, his eyes cast downward in an expression of guilt and a little sorrow.

  “What is it, Jake?”

  Her heart beat in a rapid staccato. She was still reeling from his declaration of love, but he’d always had feelings for her?

  “I fell in love with you when you and Ray were seeing each other. After you got married, I distanced myself as much as possible because it was painful to see you with him. I wanted you, and I was as jealous as hell. If I hadn’t been such a dumbass, I would have seen what was going on in your marriage. I could have saved you.”

  She sucked in her breath. “Oh, Jake.” She reached out to touch his face. Tears clouded her vision. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  He captured her hand in his and turned his lips into her palm. “It doesn’t matter now,” he said in a hoarse voice. “What matters now is whether or not you love me.”

  She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Their breaths caught and hitched. They both shook with suppressed emotion.

  “I do love you, Jake. So much. I’m scared out of my mind to say it. I’m scared of what it will mean. But I do love you.”

  He cradled her face in his hands. “Ellie, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. However we need to take this, no matter how slow, I’ll be here.”

  She smiled and pressed her forehead to his. “I need you, Jake.” She shivered as she became more aware of the crisp air.

  “Let’s go home,” he said. “My house. I’ll cook us some lunch. Build a fire. I know how much you like that.”

  Tears shimmered in her vision. He was so determined to take care of her. And she wanted to let him, but she was so afraid to relax her guard. Even though she trusted Jake implicitly.

  She wasn’t a moron. She knew that every man wasn’t out to hurt her. Jake in no way could be compared to Ray, but so much damage had been done to her confidence, to her ability to believe in her choices. No matter that she knew Jake would never hurt her, she still fought a choking panic when she imagined a relationship with him.

  Jake eased her upward, wrapping a strong arm around her as he guided her down the steps.

  “We’ll get through this, Ellie. Promise me you won’t let this asshole ruin what we have.”

  She leaned into him. “I don’t know that I’ve ever told you, Jake, but thank you.”

  He stoppe
d as they reached the bottom and looked curiously at her.

  “For what?”

  “For saving me that night,” she said quietly.

  He pulled her into his arms and squeezed so tight she gasped for air. He tensed as though he’d say something, but no words ever came. He shook slightly against her, and then he relaxed his hold.

  “Let’s go home,” he said.

  Later, after Jake cooked lunch, he built a fire in the fireplace, and now he and Ellie lay on the couch watching the flames.

  She was draped across Jake’s body, and he rubbed one hand absently up and down her back. There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to get into it right now. She was mentally exhausted after her emotional outburst before, and she didn’t want to do anything to ruin the intimate moment they were enjoying.

  More than anything she wanted Jake to take her to bed and make her forget. When he held her, nothing else mattered. And he loved her.

  Her chest swelled, and she physically ached with the emotion his admission had wrung from her. What would happen now? Was she strong enough to hold her head high in the face of what she knew was coming?

  She hadn’t been out since Ray’s interview. She hadn’t yet been to work, fielded phone calls from people she’d known all her life. She hadn’t gone to eat in the local café where Ray’s picture hung, where the locals liked to brag on the hometown boy.

  When she did venture out, she knew she would be greeted differently, if at all. And it bothered her more than she liked to admit. She was only human, and the idea of being a pariah in the town she’d grown up in hurt.

  “Why don’t you take the rest of the week off?” Jake murmured close to her ear.

  She sighed. “I can’t, Jake. No matter how long I put it off, I’m going to have to eventually face people. I’d love nothing better than to hide, but I can’t allow myself to do it.”

  He squeezed her in a hug. “At least take tomorrow. I have to run to the jobsite, but what do you say we do something fun. Maybe go to Houston to do some Christmas shopping.”

  She smiled. He went to such great lengths to protect her. “What’s with you and shopping lately? The only kind of shopping I’ve ever known you to like is grocery shopping and only because it involves food.”

  He tweaked her ass with his fingers. “I’m trying to be sensitive. Isn’t that what you women want? A man who’ll go shopping with them, listen intently to their every complaint and be all sympathetic?”

  She laughed. “You’re starting to sound like a pussy, Jake.”

  He twisted his hand in her hair and gave it a yank. “Smart-mouthed heifer. So are you saying you don’t want to go shopping with me?”

  “No, not at all. We can go. I need to clean up the mess in my bedroom. I can do that while you’re at the jobsite. You going to buy me lunch in Houston?”

  “No,” he said. “I thought I’d let you starve.”

  “Now who’s the smartass?”