The Dystopian Diaries

by K. W. Callahan

  I searched that abandoned home Miles and I stayed in outside Woodcrest from top to bottom and didn’t find any edible food. There was some moldy stuff in the fridge and some crackers with mouse crap all over them on the kitchen counter, but otherwise, the place had already been picked clean.

  It’s odd how life goes sometimes. Here I was, not even two months ago (although it seems like years to me now) working in a grocery store, constantly surrounded by enough food for a lifetime. Now, here I am wondering how I’ll eat.

  I really don’t want to go back to Woodcrest again, but I feel like my hand is being forced. But if I’m only going to be greeted by guns there, what good will going there do me? This is starting to suck. I don’t even have enough gas in my car to try getting somewhere else, not that I know where I’d go anyway. Maybe that dude I encountered in Woodcrest was just having a bad morning. Maybe not everyone is like that there. Or maybe he’s the only one left. But how do I find out without risking my life?

  Ugh! I’m really starting not to like this. So many questions without answers. The old world was so much easier. I just went in, did my job, came home, made some dinner or ordered something to be delivered, watched some television, and went to bed. Sure, there were problems at work occasionally, but nothing that involved the possibility of starving or being shot. An upset customer, a human resource issue, interviewing a new checkout clerk, a cash register not balancing at the end of the day – minor stuff in the overall scheme of things.

  Things are no longer MINOR. This is life and death. No wonder no one seems to be around. We weren’t prepared for this type of thing. People didn’t take Apocalypse 101 in school. Heck, people couldn’t even keep themselves out of debt before the flu hit. How were they supposed to prepare by bulking up on food, guns, ammunition, or taking courses on survival living? They were all too busy anyway. I guess I just kind of lucked into my situation here. But now I’m wondering if I was all that lucky. Maybe I’m the UNLUCKY one.

  Okay, those bad thoughts are starting to creep in again. Need to move on. I’m going to stoke the campfire, make a light snack for me and Miles since dinner didn’t do much for me, maybe do a little reading, and then hit the sack.

  September 30th

  7:42 a.m.

  Okay, I’m almost positive someone was either IN or very CLOSE to my camp last night.

  This is getting old fast. Miles woke me up in the middle of the night whining. He has a certain sort of whimper he does when he’s anxious. His ears perked up as if he was hearing something that shouldn’t be out there, and while it might have just been the glow of my flashlight, he had this sort of concerned look in his eyes. I thought that I heard something too, like someone walking through the brush around our camp. A couple of times I was sure I heard a twig snap. They weren’t the sounds a raccoon would make when out scavenging for food, just pushing leaves around or rooting in the dirt. These were the sounds of something far larger, heavier. They were the sounds something human size would make.

  I shut my flashlight off at the time to see if I could detect someone else’s light, but I saw nothing. The moon was out last night, so I wonder if the person was navigating by its glow. Or at this point, maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. God only knows. I’ve been out here so long, and I’m feeling so neurotic after being in town and having my car broken into, I could just be letting the sounds of the forest get the better of me…

  …but I don’t think so.

  10:12 a.m.

  Miles was sniffing around camp this morning like crazy. Someone was DEFINITELY here last night, his snout told me so. The only times Miles’ nose is going that crazy is when food’s around, he’s got another dog’s butt in his face, or he’s meeting a stranger.

  I just wonder if it’s Madeline or if it’s someone else. If it’s Madeline, I wish she’d just make her presence known directly. I mean, I don’t have much to share, but I’d rather share it with her than have her steal it from me. I wouldn’t mind sharing my bed with her either (although I’m not sure Miles would be too happy about that). But I’d be happy with some good conversation to start.

  I just don’t like this creeping around stuff. If you want to make yourself known, then make yourself known; otherwise, go away. I don’t mind helping someone out who’s in a bind, but this is starting to get old. Don’t go around stealing and burning stuff down. That doesn’t help things.

  6:11 p.m.

  I’ve decided that I’m going to stay awake tonight and see if I can confront whoever is coming into my camp. It’s not something I really want to do, but it’s something that I feel I NEED to do. Wish me luck!

  October 1st

  7:23 a.m.

  Damn! I totally fell asleep last night! I feel like such a jackass. Here I was, all hyped up to confront my intruder, and I doze off like an old man. And Miles is no help. It was chilly last night, and all he did was snuggle up next to me with his pudgy warm body, which made it even harder to stay awake.

  What a way to start October. While I don’t see any signs that someone was around last night, it doesn’t make me feel much better. I’m wondering whether I should relocate my camp. It’d be a real pain in the butt, but it might be worthwhile. I mean, I have plenty of space to choose from out here. But I’m left wondering if this person or people would just follow me or track me down again once I’ve left. I don’t want to go to all the trouble of moving if it’s not going to do any good. I’ve got a nice setup here, at least for the moment, and when I do decide to go, I want to make it a relatively permanent move. Then again, with fall approaching, and winter around the corner, it’s probably a good idea to start looking for a new spot, especially with the snack bar and changing room buildings no longer viable living options.

  11:58 a.m.

  Okay, I’ve made a call. I’m staying put for the moment. But I need to find something more permanent (and WARMER) in the meantime. I don’t know exactly where that will be, but I’d like to make it relatively close to where I am now, and by relatively I mean closer than Woodcrest. It would make relocating far easier.

  October 2nd

  3:38 p.m.

  I didn’t write earlier because Miles and I have been busy. We’ve taken to searching the club grounds. There has to be more structures around here somewhere. I’m almost positive that when I was a kid, I remember seeing a maintenance shed somewhere on the property, but for the life of me, I can’t remember where. I wish I could drive the car around the club. It would make things a heck of a lot easier, but we’ve been through the reasons I don’t want to do that.

  I have dual concerns now, however. I’m beginning to run low on food. And with the temperatures dropping, it’s only a matter of time before I find myself freezing even with Miles to help keep me warm. So even if I find shelter, I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do about food. If the fishing holds up, that will help, but since I’ve never been at the club during winter months, I’m not sure if the lakes freeze over or not. I suppose it depends on the severity of the weather. If they do, though, it will leave me even more desperate to find other food sources.

  I’d say it’s only been in the lower 50s lately. And right now, it’s growing dark to the west. Rain might be on the way.

  7:15 p.m.

  I’m calling it an early night due to rain and cold temps. Just as well. I’m tired after walking around the club most of the day. And Miles and I have a similar day scheduled for tomorrow, so we’ll need to head out early.

  October 3rd

  1:11 p.m.

  Not much to report. Pretty much a lost day due to the rain. I don’t mind walking when it’s chilly out. Cold temps kind of help get the old motor running sometimes. But I’m not chancing walking in the rain. The last thing I need is to get seriously ill out here with no access to prescription drugs or doctors. I’d say the worst part about days like this is when we have to make pit stops. I don’t think most people realize how much it sucks to take a crap in the cold, let alone when it’s cold and ra
ining. But when nature calls…well, you get the drift.

  I don’t like these long days stuck inside the tent with only Miles and my thoughts to keep me company. Staying busy helps keep my mind off things. Otherwise, I dwell on the past…stuff I wish I could change but can’t. I know it doesn’t matter now, but try telling my mind that. I re-hash these things time and again – what I could have done different, how the scenario might have played out otherwise IF I would have done something different. And yet, there are never any great revelations other than the ones I’ve already been given, and I suppose there may never be.

  October 4th

  3:29 p.m.

  It’s been a day of wandering…fishing and wandering. Might sound nice were the circumstances different, but I didn’t really find it “nice” at all. The wandering was to continue my exploration of the club in search of better shelter. The fishing wasn’t for enjoyment and relaxation but rather for survival.

  I still haven’t found what I’m looking for on the club grounds. I know that shed is around here somewhere. I just have no clue as to where. Maybe it doesn’t matter anyway. Without more food, I’m as good as done for in a couple weeks, maybe a month at best. I hate to think what will happen to Miles without me around. Not like he’ll be able to hunt for himself. He’s too domesticated.

  Maybe I should try town again. Maybe I’d be able to scavenge more food from there. Maybe people left canned goods and longer lasting foods in their homes when they went to the hospitals or died from the flu. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Everything is a “maybe” or a “should I” or a “what if” these days, and it’s getting old. I want something definitive…an answer one way or the other. I hate all this mental meandering. I never seem to get anywhere with it. And living off dried cereal, nuts, and fish is getting old to put it mildly.

  I did find a walnut tree the other day, but the squirrels have made quick work of most of the nuts. The few that remained untouched are so hard to open and provide so little meat that the effort is hardly worthwhile. My hands are all stained with dark brown splotches from the walnut oil. I found some acorn trees too. I know that you can eat acorns. I’ve heard that you can mash them up into a sort of paste, but it’s a crap ton of work and the resulting glop is far from appetizing. Still, I guess it’s better than nothing.

  October 5th

  5:19 p.m.

  Well, I FINALLY found it! Miles and I stumbled across the club’s maintenance shed earlier this afternoon. Problem is that it’s already occupied.

  Yep, you heard me right – OCCUPADO!

  While Miles and I were out, we spotted this other guy walking, but he didn’t see US. So we followed him for a while. He’s the one who eventually led us to the maintenance shed.

  I tied Miles up to a nearby tree since not only did I not want to put him in danger, but I also didn’t want him putting ME in danger by doing something silly like barking. He wasn’t real thrilled with being tied up, but I didn’t want to chance it. Then I followed the dude for a while, making sure to stay out of sight while doing so. Eventually we wound up at the maintenance shed, him going inside, me hiding about 100 feet away watching, feeling like some sort of freaking weirdo peeping Tom.

  I hung out there for five, maybe ten minutes just to see if I could learn something. Well, I’m damn glad I did. Because guess who else made an appearance? Yep, Madeline. I guess she’s shacked up with this guy. Or at least they’re living under the same roof…I suppose it’s the same thing, but not really. Whatever. It’s kind of disappointing, but at the same time, at least it clarifies a few things. I know where she is. And I know she’s not alone. But it also raises questions, like are they the only two living there? Are they the ones who have been invading my camp? Are they the ones responsible for breaking into my car, for burning the other club structures?

  I wanted to confront them. But I didn’t think it was the right time. When is the right time? I’m not exactly sure. I hung around for a little while, hoping I’d find out if anyone else was living with them, but I didn’t see anyone. Guess it doesn’t mean no one is there, but I didn’t want to get caught trying to find out. That could prove extremely awkward. Now the question is do I eventually confront them or do I just leave well enough alone?

  Guess only time will tell. Final question is, how MUCH time?

  October 6th

  2:49 p.m.

  After much debating, and a lot of fishing, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to at least try to introduce myself to Madeline and her unknown roommate living inside the club’s maintenance shed. The shed is relatively small (probably only about 400 or 500 square feet), so I can’t imagine that more people are living in there with them. But these days, I guess you never really know. They could potentially have squeezed a couple more people inside.

  With fall temperatures coming on quick, and with food supplies dwindling, I’ve come to the realization that I’m going to need help making it through the winter. And these people might be a valuable resource. Maybe through combining our efforts, supplies, and knowledge, we can get through this thing together. I can only hope they’re willing to work with me. But now the question becomes, do I take Miles or leave him here? I guess I’ll take him. He’s a good dog, and they might be pet people. But what if they aren’t? He’s such a sweetie, how could they not be?

  6:15 p.m.

  SICK…OF…FISH!

  I…HAVE…TO…MAKE.

  HOW…I…WISH,

  I…HAD…A…STEAK!

  October 7th

  5:14 p.m.

  Well that certainly could have gone better. I guess it could have gone worse too.

  So, more about my return to the maintenance shed. I decided that I’d make my introduction to the shed occupants around lunchtime. I chose this time because I didn’t want to get there too early, when they might still be rousing themselves. But I also didn’t want to get there too late when they would be preparing dinner. I thought right after lunch, around 1 p.m. would be a somewhat non-invasive time. And I hoped that they might be a little drowsy after eating which could help keep things calm should they take a turn for the worse.

  And I took Miles.

  I planned out how I wanted to introduce myself along the way. It’s a several mile hike, even cutting through the woods, so I had plenty of time to consider my options. I felt that calling out in advance to my arrival would be my best bet. This would inform the shed’s occupants of my presence before I went banging on their front door.

  And that’s exactly what I did. The problem was that no one returned my salutation.

  Therefore, I felt somewhat forced to approach and do exactly what I hadn’t wanted to do – knock on the door. And so I did. But no one was home. I knocked several times, getting progressively louder each time – but still nothing. There was a small window toward one side of the shed, so I took Miles around with me to inspect. It was dark inside the shed, but peering through, I could just make out a small table covered with a camp stove, some canned goods, several boxes, a few crates of stuff stacked against one wall, and two sleeping bags spread out on the floor.

  Behind me, lying just at the edge of the woods were a bunch of tools – rakes, shovels, hoes, stuff like that. There was also a law mower, some weed eaters, and other assorted lawn care type stuff. I assume it was probably all ejected from the shed to make room for the people living inside.

  Anyway, it was just as I was in the middle of my peeping Tom routine (of course) that I heard a voice hailing me. And it wasn’t a very friendly sounding voice.

  I turned to see a man – probably about my age – approaching from the woods. He was carrying an ax in hand, but I didn’t see a weapon anywhere on him. The ax worried me, but not as much as a gun would have, especially since I was carrying my own gun. And even though I had no desire to use the thing, I felt reasonably confident I could back the guy down purely with the sight of it if necessary.

  He stopped when he was maybe 20 feet from me. It was then that I realized he wasn’t alone
. From the forest behind him appeared Madeline, my mysterious dish-washing woods wraith.

  To make a long story short, the guy pretty much set about letting me know that I wasn’t welcome at what appeared to be their home. Once he’d made this abundantly clear, he began questioning me about my presence at the site as well as my own location and intentions. But I felt little inclination to answer most of what he wanted to know considering the piss poor welcome I’d received.

  The entire time the man and I spoke (I have no idea what his name was since he never formerly introduced himself), Madeline remained quietly in the background. She acted almost as though she had no idea who I was. And I let it stay that way. I didn’t want to divulge our prior meeting should the revelation in some way endanger her with this not-so-friendly man.

  Miles and I quickly made our retreat realizing that the meeting was not going anywhere and only risked breaking down further as the man’s ire seemed to increase with my continued presence. And once again, I’m now left with more questions than answers. Who are they? Where did they come from? Is the guy really that big of a dick or was he just trying to play the alpha male in front of his woman? Is Madeline even his woman? She might just be staying with him for support or protection. Hell, she might even be staying with him against her will. The way she stayed so quiet and remained in the background the whole time, and for as protective and standoffish as the dude was, it wouldn’t surprise me. Maybe the poor woman was waiting for me to save her from this brute, and I just slinked off like a scolded child. And as usual, I have no idea what the answer is.