The Dystopian Diaries

by K. W. Callahan

  Toward the end of the drill, I thanked Hector for the information (stuff I would probably never know otherwise), and for helping to kill what would have been a fairly tedious half hour. I told him that should we encounter an emergency, I was glad we would have him on our lifeboat. He responded that I shouldn’t count on being on a lifeboat. He’d been aboard ship for almost five years without incident. I took this as a good omen.

  After this informational boat drill, we grabbed a bite to eat at a little café on the Entertainment Deck (nothing fancy, just a couple slices of pizza, some nachos with cheese, and sodas – real healthy, I know), before heading to the poolside bar on the Vista Deck for another round of drinks. This time we both had pineapple upside-downs – AWESOME!

  By the time we got to the Salacia Lounge for the evening show, we were feeling pretty good. But we felt naked sitting there with all these people around us sipping cocktails, so we ordered more drinks. This time, I let Jeremy order for me. He got me this rum punch drink. I’m not even sure exactly what it was called, but it was strong! It really knocked my socks off!

  Thankfully, the full effects of the rum drink didn’t kick in until after the cruise director’s little spiel, so I got a better understanding of what is coming up on our itinerary. Then they had a comedian, a magician, a singer, followed by live music and dancing. It was all really great, even the magician. I’m usually not that into such acts. I’m not sure if it was the rum punch, the party atmosphere, or just the feeling of freedom that comes with being on this trip, but I really enjoyed it all. We even DANCED! And Jeremy NEVER dances unless he HAS to (like at our wedding).

  So anyway, we didn’t get back to our cabin and into bed until almost midnight, but it was well worth every minute of lost sleep. As I said, Jeremy is still sleeping. Our bed is pretty comfortable, and it’s larger than I expected for a cruise ship. Actually, our room as a whole (minus the bathroom) is larger than I expected. I was thinking more along the lines of a closet-sized space with bunk beds like you see in old movies or like in the movie “Titanic”. But our cabin is about the same size as our bedroom at home. And while the bathroom is tiny, it’s functional, has a full-size toilet, a nice shower with good pressure, and there’s even a little shelf space by the sink.

  I think this balcony, which is sizeable and includes several chairs and a small table, certainly adds to the feeling of spaciousness in our cabin. With sliding glass doors, it’s so cool to be able to look out at the ocean from our bed.

  Last night I fell asleep to the ever so gentle sway of the ship as we glided through the waves. I left the television on. While we were getting ready for bed, I put the ship’s directory channel on. It gives updates on weather and shipboard events, facts and information about our destinations, and in one corner of the screen there is a map of the Caribbean with a marker to designate our ship’s location as well as our speed and directional headings. I find it all very interesting. Jeremy doesn’t seem as intrigued as I am with the channel, but he doesn’t mind me leaving it on since other channel viewing options are somewhat limited.

  Ahh, I think I see land on the horizon! I could be wrong. Maybe it’s another ship. I’m not sure. The sun is just coming up and it’s hard to see.

  God this is incredibly beautiful. The water is so calm. We just slip quietly along. It’s truly amazing a ship this size can glide so gracefully through the sea. Humans are amazing in what they can construct. I guess that Jeremy and I are doing our part on that front. With him being an electrical engineer, he’s part of the human endeavor that’s helping to develop such products. And with me as a physical therapist, I’m helping to maintain the humans that continue to strive toward that endeavor.

  Speaking of Jeremy, I think I’m going to wake him up so he can join me out here. I know he won’t be happy about the early rising part of that equation, but I think that once he gets out here, he’ll appreciate why I woke him. I’m going to order us some coffee from room service too. That will help get BOTH our motors running.

  6:45 a.m.

  Well it’s definitely land that we’re approaching, that’s for sure. It must be the private island – Barbary Cay. Jeremy is out here with me now and we just got our coffees. I’d say we’re still a couple miles from our island destination.

  Our itinerary says we’re supposed to arrive at seven. The first tender in to shore disembarks at nine, and I’d like to be on it. I think they make runs in to shore every 30 minutes, but I want to maximize our time in the sun. We’ll have several full days at sea to enjoy shipboard events. When we have a secluded tropical isle at our disposal, I think we should utilize every minute we can.

  Weather is supposed to be in the mid-80s and sunny today according to the ship directory channel on the television. PERFECT!!!

  This morning we have the option of a sit-down breakfast in the dining room or a buffet up on the Vista Deck. I talked to Jeremy about it last night and we decided to go the buffet route this morning just for expediency’s sake, but we’d like to do a real dinner tonight so that we can meet our table-mates. We decided to select a table for eight so that we can interact with some of our fellow travelers. I talked to some of my co-workers and friends who have been on cruises, and they said it was the route to go and that we might meet some very nice people while dining with them.

  I think we’re making our approach to Barbary Cay. The ship seems to be slowing. The island looks like a lush tropical paradise. All I see is uninhabited land, a dock for the tenders, and two little cabanas near a white sandy beach. They cabanas must be associated with one of the bars or snorkel rentals I read about in our passenger guide. The only people I can see from here are a few men standing at the end of the dock watching our ship approach.

  The place looks so serene. Minus the dock and the two cabanas, it might almost be a desert isle, unsullied by humans and just waiting for Jeremy and me to make it our own private island. I guess we can pretend at least. Still, I wish we could just ditch the bathing suits and go free as nature intended.

  Did I actually just write that? Guess so. I think that this trip – the freedom from home and work – is making me feel a little wild!

  We’ve stopped (the boat that is)!

  Okay, enough writing for now. I’m about done with my coffee. I’m going to get our day packs ready – sunscreen, sunglasses, hats, our boat credit cards (so we can buy drinks, snacks, or whatever), that sort of stuff.

  I’m can’t wait! This is SO AWESOME! I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!

  1:45 p.m.

  We’re taking a break from snorkeling. Gosh, I can’t believe how crystal clear the water is here. It’s like being in a swimming pool except there are all sorts of amazingly colorful fish to watch, coral to see, shells to find, and I even saw an octopus!

  I think I could do this every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it.

  Jeremy is getting us drinks from the tiki-hut-style bar just down the beach. We’ve selected a spot at the far end of the beach, as far away from other people as possible. It’s not that we want to be anti-social; it’s just nice to have a little privacy. With the wedding, all the guests, and now being on the ship with all the other “cruisers”, it’s nice to have a little time on our own even though we’re technically not “alone” per se.

  It’s so completely different from Chicago here. I know that must sound so obvious, but I’ve never been to the Caribbean before. It’s all so new to me. I can’t imagine waking up each morning in such a place. The sounds of garbage bins being banged around, delivery truck beeping as they back into loading docks, express trains rushing past, cars honking, people shouting or laughing back home are instead replaced by the sea grasses rustling in the breeze, the distant call of a seagull, the waves lapping gently on the shore, and the tinkling, clinking clatter of small seashells as they’re pushed against each other by the breaking waves.

  I have to say, the thought of living such a life is certainly appealing. Then again, who’s going to pay for it?

>   Well, for the rest of today, I’m just going to pretend that this IS my life. Nothing wrong with that.

  As a side note, breakfast this morning was AMAZING! We hit the buffet and I TOTALLY over ate. What a spread! There were ice carvings, and they’d carved pineapples, watermelons, and butter. Who knew you could carve BUTTER?!

  Oh well, it’s my vacation. I can at least blame my weight gain on that. Can’t handle too many more meals like that, though. At least we’re getting some good exercise in with our swimming today.

  I see Jeremy. He’s coming back with our drinks.

  One last thing before I put this diary away for the rest of the day. There’s a crab hole next to where we positioned our beach blankets. Every so often, this cute little crab comes out, his beanie little stalked eyes peering at us. He did this a couple times. Finally, I took a small piece of bread from a sandwich we bought earlier in the day and set it right by his hole. The last time he came out, he snatched it up and then hustled back down into his hole.

  Feeding him made me feel surprisingly good…like feeding our fish back home (which hopefully Pete and Lily are doing). Sometimes it’s amazing just how much the little things in life can do to pick you up and make you feel better. Paychecks for thousands of dollars, fancy cars, new clothes, cosmetics, and all that, I don’t think any of them compared to the joy I felt at seeing that little crab accept my small offering.

  10:18 p.m.

  We’re calling it a night a little early, but we certainly maximized our day.

  We left our “private” island at a little before five. We caught the last tender back to the ship, so we couldn’t have stayed longer even if we wanted to.

  Once we got back, we showered and changed for dinner. We scheduled ourselves in advance of the cruise for the 7:00 p.m. dinner seating. We had the option of 6:00 p.m. seating, but we thought that might be a little early. I’m glad we chose the latter seating because we weren’t dressed and ready until a quarter after six.

  With a little time to spare, we headed up to the entertainment deck and spent some time at the casino playing slots. I lost $20, but Jeremy won $100! He said he wanted to take his winnings to the blackjack table to try his hand there, but I instead convinced him to treat me to a drink at the casino bar before we went to dinner.

  We spent most of his remaining winnings on two bottles of wine (one white, one red) to have on hand for our dinners over the next few nights. Jeremy balked at first (after seeing the prices of the bottles), but I think it is well worth the investment (especially considering it’s the casino’s money!).

  We got to the dining room right on time. It’s pretty much like a big restaurant – assortment of table sizes, white linen table cloths, waiters in pressed black pants and white shirts, the standard fare.

  We were seated at our table right as our tablemates were joining us. There is an older couple (I’d say they’re probably in their late 50s or early 60s). If I recall right, their names were Jack and Vivian. And then there is a family of four. The parents (who’d I’d peg to be in their mid to late 30s) were Brent and Lauren. I’ve forgotten the kids’ names (damn that second glass of wine!), but I remember that the girl was age seven and the boy was nine.

  Dinner was good. It kind of reminded me of a catered wedding-style meal (although I’d say the quality was better). We started with a choice of soup or salad. Jeremy and I decided that what one of us ordered, the other would order the opposite of. So I had the gazpacho soup while he had a Caesar salad. For the main course, I had a baked chicken dish while he had a strip steak (medium rare). He got a baked potato with his steak. Both entrees were delicious, but I think we were REALLY hungry too. For dessert, I had a soufflé while he went for some chocolate ganache thing that was melt-in-your-mouth delicious. He let me share part of his, but if they have that on the menu again I am DEFINITELY ordering one all for myself.

  I tend to wonder how often we’ll be seeing the family. I think the kids would have been better off at the six o’clock seating. They seemed kind of cranky and super hungry. Even then, they were finicky eaters, not really going for any of the menu options. While I’m no parent (yet), I think these kids would be better served hitting one of the ship’s snack bars for pizza, burgers, hot dogs, and shakes. Most of the courses served at tonight’s meal didn’t seem to hit their fancy.

  I however, thoroughly enjoyed our first sit-down dinner shipboard. The conversation was good (especially with Jack and Vivian, since they weren’t focused on handling kids), the food was good, and the wine was good.

  After dinner, Jeremy and I went down to the theater. There wasn’t an actual show being performed tonight, but there were other, more crowd-focused activities taking place (which I think I preferred anyway).

  The first of these activities was horse racing. No, there weren’t REAL horses involved. Rather, there were hobby-horse-style stuffed horse heads on sticks that were attached to a wooden base. Each “horse” was assigned a number from 1-6, and a jockey was chosen from the crowd to “ride” the horse. A new jockey for each horse was chosen for every race.

  The way they did the races was interesting. They had numbers that ran from 1-10 laid out in lines on the floor before each horse. Then they had this little bird-cage looking thing with five dice in it. They’d flip the cage over and see what the numbers on the dice were. If there was one 1, one 2, two 3’s, and a 6, then the jockeys of the corresponding horses would move the “1” horse up a space, the “2” horse a space, the “3” horse up two spaces, and the “6” horse up a space.

  The process would continue in this manner until one of the horses crossed the “finish line” at the number 10.

  Before each race began, you could place even-money bets on the horses.

  It was really fun (far more fun than you’d think). People in the crowd really got into it, routing on their particular horse or horses.

  I got to be the jockey for the number 4 horse in one race. I came in second, oh well. But I won the third race that I bet on, and Jeremy won the last race (which was a double odds race), so we only lost a little money.

  After this, we played bingo. We didn’t win anything, but it was fun just to play. I think that second glass of wine at dinner made it more exciting.

  Okay, I’m beat. It’s time for bed. Another big day tomorrow! I can’t wait!!!

  September 2nd

  (Cruise – Day 3)

  6:23 a.m.

  It’s another beautiful morning. I’ve assumed my spot out on our balcony, coffee in hand as we glide across the open sea. I learned that our room service attendant’s name is Loretto. He’s a pleasant little man with a sweet demeanor. I’d estimate that he is in his mid-50s and is from the Philippines. He calls me “Mrs. Davi.” It’s SO cute!! I love it!!

  It’s clear, calm, and balmy, but very pleasant out today.

  Today is a day at sea. Frankly, that’s just fine with me. I could use a break. It feels like we’ve been going non-stop for weeks now. Probably because we HAVE! With the wedding preparations, the wedding, the post-wedding come-down, the cruise preparations, and now the cruise itself, it’s just been go, go, go! Between the sun and the sea, even our day at the beach was tiring – tiring in a GOOD way, but tiring nonetheless.

  Since we have a more leisurely plan for today, I think we’ll try the sit-down breakfast in the ship’s restaurant rather than the buffet. I think a slower-paced meal will be good for us – especially ME! That buffet is dangerous! My eyes suddenly become far bigger than my stomach and I find myself overindulging.

  After breakfast maybe we’ll take a stroll around the upper decks for exercise and exploring. Then I think it will be time to change into our swimsuits for some reading, swimming, drinks, and napping poolside.

  From there, we’ll see. I know that they have some poolside activities going on this afternoon. And there will be more horse racing in one of the lounges (oh boy – I’ll admit it, I’m hooked!). But nothing is set in stone for our day’s schedule. That’s what’
s so great about a vacation, we get to act on our whims – or not. It’s totally up to us.

  10:50 a.m.

  We’re lounging poolside right now. Usually I like to read when I’m on vacation, but this diary is keeping me pleasantly occupied instead.

  It’s still pretty quiet around the pool. I think a lot of people are sleeping in or still recovering from having overeaten at breakfast. There’s nary a sole in the pool. That’s just fine with us. We’re enjoying the peace and solitude.

  It’s fun to watch the water in the pool slosh slowly back and forth in time with the gentle rocking motion of the ship. Jeremy and I both took motion sickness medication before we left shore just to be on the safe side. So far, neither of us has been bothered by the ship’s motion. Hopefully it stay’s that way. The last thing we want is to be sidelined with seasickness.

  Breakfast was nice this morning, somewhat subdued compared to the buffet, but that’s what we wanted. We ate reasonable portions at a reasonable pace.

  Jack and Vivian (the older couple) were there, but there was no sign of the family of four. They were probably still trying to get the crew ready for the day at eight in the morning.

  I had a fruit bowl, a two-egg omelet with mushrooms and onions, and rye toast. I ate it all!

  Jeremy had a Belgian waffle with a side of bacon. I tried a bite of his waffle – very fluffy, very good!

  I have to say, it feels so nice to just be lounging here in the sun again. It’s amazing how tiring vacationing can be. I’m really pooped! Of course we DID do a LOT of snorkeling yesterday, something neither of us are used to. God, Jeremy looked good. Not an ounce of fat on that trim frame of his. Ooh la-la! But I digress. I think the sea and the sun really took a lot out of us yesterday. Plus, we haven’t been sleeping as much lately because we’ve been so busy having fun (and I’VE been getting up so early, Jeremy keeps reminding me).