The Clever Strumpet

by Farmer, Merry

  His father’s scowl deepened. “I cannot stop you from taking whoever you want to bed,” he said, “but you will do your duty to your family all the same. Lady Malvis is anxious for a proposal, and you will give it.”

  Rufus’s frustration and disappointment must have showed on his face. His father’s expression softened to a sigh of regret.

  “I’m sorry for all this, son,” he said, shaking his head. He glanced back to the carriage, where Caro was watching through the open door. “Under other circumstances, Lady Caroline would be a reasonably suitable match and I would give my blessing wholeheartedly, especially considering the insult to her honor that you have perpetrated.” He leaned closer. “But her family has no money. Her dowry is minimal. We must make these sorts of decisions with our heads not our—” He pressed his mouth shut and let out a breath, leaving Rufus wondering if he would have finished with “cocks” or “hearts”.

  “I understand, Father,” Rufus said. “As long as you understand that Caro will forever be a part of my life.”

  His father looked even sadder. “You’ll have a hard time of that once Hazelton gets his claws in her. Joseph Pepys is a villain for handing his daughter over to a satyr like that.”

  It surprised Rufus more than he could say that his father agreed with him. Maybe the old man wasn’t so bad after all. But if he wasn’t, the situation they both found themselves in was.

  “Tomorrow,” his father said. “I’ve arranged for you to walk out with Lady Malvis in Hyde Park. You will propose to her then and make this match official.”

  “But, Father—”

  “I’m sorry, son, but this is the way it has to be,” his father cut off his protest. “Now, see to your lover. Get her home before either of you are noticed. And if you wish to keep any sort of connection to her, move heaven and earth to ensure that you are not seen together until both of your positions are secure.”

  Chapter 6

  Rufus expected to lay awake all night, trying to find a way out of proposing to Lady Malvis in the morning. That or racking his brain for ways that he and Caro could expose Wallace Newman as the diamond thief and bring him and Lord Hazelton to justice. But after returning Caro to her school, enduring a painfully long supper with his family, and dragging himself up to his room after midnight, the moment his spent body hit his bed, he fell asleep. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, considering how “active” he and Caro had been during their carriage rides.

  His dreams were filled with astoundingly carnal images of Caro riding him like a thoroughbred, and he awoke with a smile and a cockstand. But that happy state of being faded fast when reality swooped down on him.

  “You are expected at Cunningham House at precisely ten this morning,” his father reminded him at the breakfast table without looking up from his ham and eggs. “Dress appropriately for this weather and make your suit clear and concise.”

  “Yes, Father,” Rufus grumbled. He’d helped himself to a large breakfast, but the food seemed to turn to ash in his mouth after a few bites. He pushed his plate back and stood, marching out of the room without another word for his parents or his brother. If he was doomed to engage himself to a woman he could never love and to throw over the one woman whom he ached to spend the rest of his days with, he might as well get it over with as soon as possible.

  The one light of consolation in the whole mess was that he had just enough time to send Nigel Kent a missive detailing his and Caro’s interview with Miss Dobson the day before. There was no telling if Kent would believe him, though. As far as he knew, Kent still saw him and Felix Lichfield as the prime suspects in the theft. Attempting to help the investigation couldn’t hurt, though.

  By the time he rolled to a stop in front of Cunningham House and dragged himself up to the front door to inquire after Lady Malvis, he was restless and irritable and considering throwing himself in the Thames to avoid what he knew he had to do.

  “You’re late,” Lady Malvis snapped after introductions and pleasantries directed to her mother, once the two of them were strolling along Brook Street toward Hyde Park, arm in unfortunate arm.

  “I don’t believe I am,” Rufus said with a frown.

  “You arrived at three past ten,” Lady Malvis informed him.

  Rufus clenched his jaw. “I would hardly call that late.”

  “I would.” The two words were as sharp as a switch to the knuckles delivered by a particularly vicious governess. But Lady Malvis wasn’t done. “When we are wed, I will expect perfect punctuality in all things.”

  Rufus remained silent and sullen. He supposed Malvis would set a strict schedule for the marriage bed as well. He would be required to come after ten strokes precisely, not nine, not eleven. And if he failed to impregnate her immediately, he would be forced to stand in the corner reciting scripture until he mended his ways.

  “You are too quiet,” Lady Malvis scolded him when they crossed into the park and began to stroll along one of the many paths toward the Serpentine. “A gentleman should be practiced in the art of polite conversation.”

  He would have sighed in exasperation if he didn’t think that would have drawn more censure from his bride-to-be. She was probably fishing for him to propose immediately. Well, at least he had some control over that. He would make her wait as long as possible.

  “The weather has been fine for so late in the season,” he said, a stubborn set to his shoulders.

  “It has,” Lady Malvis said with an irritated pinch to her lips. “With Christmas in a matter of weeks, one wonders if it will feel as festive as it should.”

  He darted a sidelong look at her. Was that another prompt to get it over with?

  Before he could decide on an answer, a rolling peel of feminine laughter snagged his attention. He glanced ahead to the banks of the Serpentine only to see a large cluster of young ladies bundled in winter coats and bonnets. They were the pupils from Caro’s school. Most of them were seated on benches, a few in the cold grass, with books that were apparently fascinating. Interspersed among them were a few ladies standing before easels with small canvases fixed to them. And prominent in their midst was Caro herself, dressed in a cheery coat of berry red, a bonnet decorated with Christmas greenery atop her blonde hair. His heart leapt to his throat, then dropped to his feet, in an instant.

  “What a curious and inappropriate activity for young ladies on a morning such as this,” Lady Malvis sniffed.

  “I find it a fine and healthy activity for excitable young minds, such as the pupils of Miss Dobson’s school have,” Rufus said, his voice slightly raised in irritation.

  His irritation was nothing to the peevishness with which Lady Malvis turned to him. “Miss Dobson’s School?” She huffed as though inmates from the Tower had been let loose on the lawn.

  It was at that moment that Caro stepped back from examining the painting one of her friends was working on and glanced at Rufus. Their eyes met so fast that there wasn’t a single doubt in Rufus’s mind that she’d been aware of him from the moment he stepped into the park. Even with the distance between them, he could see the mischief in her eyes and the sly grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth—a mouth that tasted of life and adventure and had molded to his as if they were meant to be one.

  “I think it is a supremely admirable thing for young ladies to be educated,” he told Lady Malvis, more confrontation in his voice than he should have had.

  As expected, Lady Malvis scoffed. “Educating women is as useful as throwing pearls before swine.”

  Rufus frowned at her wholly unoriginal metaphor and the motivation behind it.

  “Besides,” Lady Malvis went on, narrowing her eyes at the young ladies. “Everyone knows that Miss Dobson’s is no mere school.” The derision with which she spoke left no doubt in Rufus’s mind that Lady Malvis was a snob and a prude. But he was truly enraged when she went on with, “A list of students from that wretched institution has circulated among influential members of the ton, and it has been agreed that th
ey will not be known under any circumstances. Neither will anyone who breaks the vow of exclusion be known.”

  “What do you mean?” Rufus growled.

  “I mean that if you—that is to say, if anyone who wishes to have a place in polite society so much as acknowledges any of those young ladies, they will be cast out thoroughly.”

  In spite of the shocking meanness of Lady Malvis’s words, hope soared in Rufus’s chest. Could it be that all he had to do was bid Caro and her friends good day and the Gorgon would throw him over as unworthy? He was desperate to give it a try.

  But before he could steer Lady Malvis onto a path that would intersect with Caro and her lot, disaster struck. Or as close to disaster as Rufus felt it was possible to get. He wasn’t the only one interested in striking up a conversation with Caro. Oh, no. Before he could so much as blink, none other than Lord Hazelton came strolling up the path and up to Caro’s side.

  The rage that flared through Rufus was so hot that he stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at the old lecher. His reaction did not go unnoticed, of course.

  “Whatever is the matter?” Lady Malvis hissed impatiently. She followed the line of his gaze and huffed. “Why should you care if a gentleman of such ill-repute as Lord Hazelton passes the time of day with that lot?”

  Rufus didn’t answer. He couldn’t have if he’d wanted to. Lord Hazelton had just leaned into Caro to whisper something in her ear.

  Everything was going precisely to plan as far as Caro was concerned. The young ladies were more than happy to have their lessons in the fresh air of Hyde Park, in spite of the nip in the air. Rufus and Lady Malvis had arrived precisely when she expected them to, based on what she’d overheard Lord Herrington tell Rufus the day before. And Felicity and Eliza were ready and waiting with their plot to distract Lady Malvis so that she could prevent Rufus from proposing as his father wanted him to. She would have preferred to wait and reveal her grand plan to save the Herrington fortune in a more dramatic style, but she was willing to settle for a lower level of drama, now that Rufus’s back was against the wall. She had a copy of her latest book in hand and a letter from her publisher detailing her most recent royalties ready to show as proof that she would bring far more wealth into a marriage than Rufus or his father could imagine.

  The plan would have worked like clockwork if Lord Hazelton hadn’t shown up.

  “My dear Lady Caroline, you are looking lovely today,” he said as he veered off the path and marched boldly up to her.

  Every nerve in Caro’s body tensed, but not for the reasons many would have assumed.

  “Lord Hazelton,” she said with a plastered-on smile, stepping away from Ophelia as she worked on her painting to greet him. “How…interesting to see you today.” She couldn’t bring herself to lie, not even for the sake of politeness, to tell him it was pleasant to see him.

  “The surprise and delight are all mine,” Lord Hazelton said, sliding far too close to her. “If I had known you would be here this morning, I would have brought you a little treat to nibble on.” He swiveled his hips in a way that made it all too clear what his meaning was.

  “Little?” Caro asked, one eyebrow raised.

  Lord Hazelton’s face went red. “Well, not so very little,” he said clumsily. “Tasty all the same and quite to your liking, I’m sure.”

  Caro clenched her jaw, not out of disgust—though she felt plenty of that—but because she had to force herself not to spew out a string of withering put-downs. Lord Hazelton was there, right in front of her. The man who had attempted to buy the Chandramukhi Diamond, according to Miss Dobson, may have walked right into her web. If she could finagle a confession out of him….

  “What does bring you to Hyde Park this morning, my lord?” she asked, taking a risk and looping her arm through his to walk him away from her girls.

  She sent a glance to Felicity and Eliza as they sat poring over her latest book. The two women nodded and leaned toward each other to whisper plans.

  “I’m here to meet friends,” Lord Hazelton said, then rushed on with, “But I am so much happier to have met you, my darling, my love, my future wife. I have not yet set a date with your father, but I was thinking—”

  “Lord Hazelton,” Caro cut him off. She darted a glance farther down the path to where Rufus and Lady Malvis stood, apparently bickering now. Rufus glanced in her direction. “You do realize that my opinion in the matter has not been sought.”

  Lord Hazelton shrugged. “It has never been truly necessary to secure a woman’s opinion in matters of marriage. You all want the same thing.” He executed one of his ridiculous eyebrow wiggles.

  “And what, pray tell, is that, my lord?” she asked in a flat voice.

  “A husband,” he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Children. Scads of them. And wealth too, if you can get it. I can give you all those things and more.”

  “More?” Caro asked, her voice even flatter.

  Lord Hazelton chuckled lasciviously and leaned closer to her—so close that it elicited a shocked gasp from a pair of middle-aged women passing them on the path. “I can give it to you the way you like it—hard and dirty. I won’t even protest if you want it from half a dozen other men as well. In fact, I’d pay good money to watch you used by five men at once. It can be done, you know, one the standard way, one up the ass—”

  “Lord Hazelton, stop at once,” Caro shouted, far too loudly and vehemently for Hyde Park. He had genuinely enraged her, though. To the point where she shook from head to toe. Just because she enjoyed sex with one man—one dear, beloved, particular man—didn’t mean she was a slut without limits. That he would assume she was based on observing her at play with Rufus was unforgivable. “You go too far,” she hissed, lowering her voice once more.

  Rufus had witnessed the entire exchange, though. It was as plain as day that he could read her expression and knew Lord Hazelton had overstepped his bounds. His face was as dark as a thundercloud, and in spite of the fact that Lady Malvis had a hold of his sleeve and appeared to be chastising him for one thing or another, his gaze was locked on Caro. Or rather, on Lord Hazelton. Within moments, he’d broken away from Lady Malvis and was storming toward them.

  For good or bad, that appeared to be Felicity and Eliza’s cue for whatever mischief they were plotting. As Lady Malvis let out a yelp and swayed forward, as if she would chase after Rufus and drag him back to her side, they zipped along the path to intercept her.

  “Lady Malvis Cunningham, is that truly you?” Eliza began their ruse.

  That was as much of the show as Caro was able to watch. Rufus was closing in on her and Lord Hazelton, but Lord Hazelton hadn’t noticed yet.

  “Come now, my dear,” he said, attempting to brush Caro’s arm in what he must have foolishly thought was a soothing manner. “I am a man of the world. I know that not all women are blushing violets. Why do you suppose I asked for your hand in particular? At last, I have found a woman whose tastes match my own. I will deny you nothing as my wife, not even behind closed doors. I will shower you with jewels. I have my eye on a particularly fine wedding present for you. I would—”

  He stopped, not because Caro cut him off or because Rufus intervened. Rufus was still a few yards off. No, Lord Hazelton stopped when his gaze fell on something across the Serpentine, between sections of trees that had been planted to provide the feeling of a wood. Caro’s brow dropped to a frown, and she turned to see what had his attention.

  Her heart dropped to her stomach a moment later at the sight of Miss Dobson sneaking out from behind a cluster of trees and dashing a few yards toward the path...where Mr. Newman was approaching her.

  “You must excuse me, my darling,” Lord Hazelton said in a suddenly distracted voice, backing away from her. “The friends I was set to meet appear to have arrived. But fear not, this will only take a moment.” He wiggled his brow, then turned to dash off toward the end of the Serpentine.

  Caro gaped at him and at Miss Do
bson and Mr. Newman, who had just reached each other and began speaking rapidly. She was still gaping when Rufus charged up to her.

  “What did he say?” he demanded. “How did he offend you? I’ll tear the man limb from limb with my bare hands.”

  Caro silenced him by grasping his arm and nodding across the water. “Look,” she whispered. “They’re going to try to sell the diamond again. Right now.”

  Chapter 7

  Caro’s statement was so far from what Rufus expected to hear that it took a moment for the full impact of her words to sink in. He gaped at her for a moment before she repeated, “Miss Dobson. Mr. Newman. And Lord Hazelton is here to meet with them.”

  Rufus’s nerves went taut, and he whipped around to assess the situation for himself. Sure enough, Miss Dobson and Newman stood close together on the far side of the Serpentine. Hazelton was still in the process of rounding the end of the water, but he was clearly heading toward them.

  “Are they mad?” Rufus exclaimed. “It’s the middle of the day. The park is crowded. We can see them and they can see us.”

  “I am not entirely certain that they have seen us, though,” Caro said, grabbing his arm and fast-walking him along the path in the same way Hazelton had gone.

  “Are you suggesting we confront them?” Rufus asked incredulously, rushing along with Caro all the same.

  “Perhaps,” Caro said.

  Her answer was as mad as the meeting that was about to take place. The trouble was, Rufus wanted to see an end to the mystery surrounding the diamond theft and for the guilty parties to be brought to justice more than he needed the world around him to make sense. He charged ahead with Caro, heedless of the people who stopped to stare at them as they broke every rule of propriety.

  They steered clear of Lady Malvis in their quest, but Rufus honestly wasn’t certain his intended fiancée would have noticed one way or another. Two of Caro’s most cunning students and friends had flanked her and were steering her toward a row of benches that looked out on the winter-withered rose garden.