She met me on the staircase, and I smelled the stench of stale cigarettes on her wrinkled clothes.
“Thank God you’re here,” she exclaimed. I didn’t miss the busted lip she’d tried to cover up with her pink lipstick. Her eyes darted down to the parking lot and back to me.
“What’s up?”
“Let’s get inside and I’ll tell you everything. I need some coffee.” Her voice was sharp as razors.
We got inside and I made us coffee. She stirred in cream and sugar as she sat at my small table and watched me. “You got any food here?”
“Sure.” I got up and made her a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. It wasn’t much, but it was all I had in the pantry at the moment.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” I asked as we sat together a bit later.
“Can’t a girl come see her daughter?”
“You never have.”
She frowned, chewing her food. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Karl hit you,” I stated.
She touched her lip gingerly. “It wasn’t his fault. I smarted off to him, and usually he’s sorry after a fight and buys me flowers or takes me on a trip, but this time …” she rubbed her arms “… he’s fit to be tied.”
“We can call the police. At least get a restraining order against him.”
She paled. “No! I—I still love him, Elizabeth, and we’ll probably get back together once all this Senator Scott stuff flies over.”
My mouth dried in fear. “What? Don’t tell me you’re still on that, Mom?”
She cleared her throat, eyeing me nervously. “Karl … he really wants to bring Colby to justice—”
“No, he wants money from the Senator. There’s a difference,” I bit out, getting angry now. “Why did you even tell him? You—you’re supposed to be my mother, and you know how I feel about what happened. I don’t want anyone to ever know.”
She picked at her chipped fingernail polish. “People in Petal know.”
“Yeah, and they think I’m a slut.” I slammed down my coffee cup.
She winced. “Look, it’s a lot of money. I’m tired of struggling and never having anything. Plus, I think the Senator needs to know about his son.”
“Why do you even care? You didn’t when it happened.” The words were out before I could pull them back.
“Don’t ever say that, Elizabeth,” she said sharply. “You were such a good kid, and I knew I didn’t have to be on top of you all the time. It’s not my fault it happened on a weekend I was gone. And then you changed, keeping to yourself, never calling anyone, never going out, acting like you hated me …” Her hands fluttered around. “I—I know I’m not the PTA mom or the one who spent money on you—because I didn’t have any—but I did the best I could.” She pulled out her Marlboro’s and lit one.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “What happened with Karl and the Senator?”
She sucked her cig. “Karl called his office for several days until he finally got through to his personal assistant, but she wouldn’t allow Karl to speak directly to him. He put a bug in her ear that it was about his son. That did the trick. He called us back the next day and Karl said his spiel. He asked for fifty thousand or we’d sell your story to the press.”
God, their stupidity made me sick. Nausea rolled. I jerked up and got a glass of water.
She sucked on the cigarette, the butt burning a bright red. “The next day, the IRS showed up at Karl’s car lot and closed it down, claiming he owed back taxes—which might be true, I don’t know—but he had to close his shop and he can’t open it until the IRS finishes their investigation, which might take months. They confiscated all his files and froze his money. He’s convinced the Senator sent them. His whole life has been that car lot and if he doesn’t have that, then, well, he’s broke.”
She continued. “Karl called a reporter with the Raleigh Herald and said he had a story about Senator Scott’s son and a girl he raped. They agreed to see him and pay him for the story, but once he got there, they had a team of lawyers waiting with all these papers and wouldn’t listen to a thing Karl said because they needed a firsthand account of the attack—and a police report.”
I sat back down. “They’re a reputable newspaper. They can’t print hearsay.”
She nodded. “That’s why Karl’s angry and upset. Well, that and the car lot—obviously.”
“So he hit you?”
“It’d all be fine if you’d just tell your whole story how you let that boy rape you.”
“I didn’t let him,” my voice cracked.
She barely noticed. “I want Karl back,” she said glumly.
I stood up, my chair scrapping across the tile. “God, for once in your life, do the right thing and forget him,” I snapped. “Stop ruining my life to get what you want!”
Her lips tightened. “I don’t want a lecture from you right now.” She sighed, looking exhausted. “Now, if you have a place for me to sleep, that would be great. That is unless you don’t want me here and I’ll just leave …”
I stopped and stared at her. Part of me wanted her to leave, but I just couldn’t kick her out. She was my mother.
“There’s an extra bedroom across the hall from mine. It’s not much, just a twin bed.”
She nodded and headed down the hall, but then turned around. “I’m sorry to bring all this to you, baby, but—just keep an open mind about Karl.”
“Just get some sleep, Mom. We’ll talk later.”
But we didn’t talk later.
A few hours later I went out to the grocery to stock up on things she’d like, mostly chips and pizza and soda and cigarettes, and by the time I’d returned it was dark. I walked into an empty apartment where she’d left me a hastily scribbled note on the kitchen table.
Karl picked me up. He found a newspaper in New York to take the story. I’m sorry.
Love, Candi
I sank down on a chair in the kitchen, groceries forgotten as fear crept into my heart. I battled with tears of frustration, my hands clenched around the note. No matter how hard I tried to push the shadow of that awful night away, it continued to haunt me.
25
Sunday went by, and I kept waiting for Declan to confront me about our convo at Minnie’s, but he didn’t. I’d knocked on his door a few times, but he was never there. I pictured him in some seedy boxing ring getting pounded into a pulp. Then my imagination would switch to him kissing Nadia. God.
Was he angry with me for the way I’d left things between us? No doubt.
But why hadn’t he knocked on my door? I didn’t know.
I’d replayed our night at the gym over and over in my head. My body longed for more of him, and it frustrated me. There were absolutely no repeats in my sex life.
On Monday, I got to class late, but thankfully Dax had saved me a seat and Feldman was also late.
I took it and opened my books, fighting the major disappointment that Declan wasn’t in his usual seat.
I looked at Dax “Where’s your brother?”
He shrugged.
“It’s not like him to skip class. He isn’t injured, is he? From a fight? How can you let him continue doing that?” I closed my eyes briefly. “Why does he do it?”
Dax’s lips tightened, and it was the first time I’d seen him with a truly unhappy expression on his face. “For money so he can open his gym. It’s his piece of home that he doesn’t have here in the states.” He looked down and then back at me. “I know everyone thinks I’m a joke, but I—I get him. His dream is to be his own man and break away from us—from me. I wish he’d just take my half of the money, but he won’t. In case you haven’t noticed, Declan’s stubborn.”
“Yeah.”
“Miss Bennett, care to tell us what you’re discussing in the middle of my class?”
Shit. Caught. I shook my head. “No, sorry, Dr. Feldman.”
She tapped a pencil against her desk. “Then perhaps you’d like to an
swer some questions?”
Not today. Please. My mind was everywhere but on this class.
Dax’s long frame stood and half the auditorium sighed. “I was the one talking the most, Dr. Feldman. I’d be delighted to answer your questions,” he said in his clipped accent that I could tell he laid on extra thick.
After class, he met me outside the humanities building. I had a math class next, but decided to skip it to find out more about Declan. We found a bench in the quad near a fountain that was popular and took a seat. We chatted about what he was doing in his classes and how he struggled to keep his head above water, and I could tell that even though he wasn’t an A student, he did try. I didn’t want to pressure him to talk about Declan even though I was dying to know more.
“You’re a good listener,” he said after a while, giving me a gentle poke in the ribs.
“You’re easy to listen to.”
“Not to mention how hot I am.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re full of crap.”
He tossed an arm around me. “You better believe it, love.”
I toyed with my backpack. “So about Declan …”
He sighed and took my phone and typed in some digits, giving me a self-satisfied smirk.
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Declan and telling him to meet us for lunch.”
“Lunch? What if I already had plans? And use your own phone.” I tried to jerk it back, but he held on to it.
“But he might come if you ask. Dude doesn’t even budge for me.” He handed my phone back. “Here, I’m done. He now thinks you want to see him at the student center in half an hour. He also thinks you want to shag him in the science lab later.”
My mouth parted. “Seriously?”
He laughed just as my phone pinged and I saw it was from Declan.
“What does it say? Is he excited?” he said in a girly voice, leaning over my shoulder to read my phone, his dark hair tickling my arm. Of course, Dax had lied about the shagging text, so I didn’t smack him.
“He said ‘Okay.’ That’s vague,” I muttered.
“Hmm.” He sat back and scratched at his unshaven jaw as if what he had to say he’d thought about carefully.
“What’s up?”
He sent me an unsure look. “It’s just, Declan really likes you, but Nadia yanked him around pretty good, and I just don’t want you to do that to him.”
“How do you know he likes me?”
He sent me an exasperated look. “He gave you a cute nickname for starters. And he watches you like a hawk in class. He’s rather jelly, my bro, but when he loves, he loves hard.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed. “He puts his all into whatever he does. Fighting. His gym. Me. When we first moved here and were the new kids at our private school, we were both scrawny, and of course, we talked funny. He lashed out at the wankers who teased me and ended up with the rep as the guy with a chip on his shoulder, which wasn’t true. But word got around and pretty soon rednecks were showing up and trying to push him around. Mostly he tried to stay out of trouble, but senior year while he was on a date, he got jumped by four guys behind the bleachers at a football game. He’d filled out by then, and it took three to hold him down while one pounded him with brass knuckles. When he came to, he was lying on the ground and they were all laughing and tossing back their beer. He got up and beat the bloody hell out of them, even chased one down the highway. Then the cops showed up. It was a hell of a night. Father was not pleased.”
“Was he hurt?”
“Spent the night in the hospital, but the other guys were worse.”
He grunted. “He’s always been the better guy than me. Smarter, quicker, kinder. He even pays his own uni fees. When I grow up, I want to be just like him.”
I smiled. Declan was all those things and more. Sexy, sweet, hung.
He shot me a cocky grin. “You got a crush on him.”
“I do not.”
“You do.”
“Do not.”
“You so bloody do. Now shut the fuck-all up about it.”
“I do not.” I stood up and stamped my foot on the sidewalk.
“Then let me come over to your place tonight. I’ll show you my sexy underwear—Union Jack flag and all.”
My mouth flapped open. “No. That’s just weird. You’re like … a brother.”
“Okay, gross, but you aren’t seeing anyone else, so why does it matter? I’ll be one of your famous one-night stands, no problem.”
I closed my eyes. “Dammit, does everyone know about that?”
“It’s a small university, but your friend Shelley also likes to talk when she drinks.” He grinned. “She’s been popping in at the frat house a lot lately. She and Blake are thick as thieves.”
Ah. Interesting.
He continued. “You have feelings for Declan. I know it because your eyes get all mushy when he walks in a room.”
“You’re an expert on me?”
A self-satisfied grin curved his lips. “I’m a psych major, remember? And not nearly as stupid as you may think.”
“You’re a lunatic major more like it.”
He leveled me with a serious stare. “I wish I was more like you. You don’t care what other people think and you’ve made your own way at Whitman—which sounds a lot like Declan—but you’re also completely gorgeous and unaware of it. Hell, I could have fallen for you in a heartbeat if you’d given me any indication we had a chance.” He smiled at my widened eyes. “You met me first, but I was drunk and Declan wasn’t. Not that that mattered. Once you took one look at him, you’d chosen him already. Fate. Karma.” He smirked. “Yeah, I believe in all that silly stuff. Anyway, I’m not here to hit on you—too late for that—but I am telling you not to crush his heart. He’s had enough of that already.”
This was family. Love. Emotion swelled and impulsively, I hugged him tight.
I pulled back to stare up at him. “Is he back with Nadia?”
“No, but I heard Donatello broke up with her, so she’s free.” He took my hand. “Come on, let’s go see him.”
On the way over, Shelley and Blake texted us and wanted to meet for lunch too—even after I told Blake that Declan was coming—so we arranged to meet outside the student center and walk in together.
All I could think about was seeing Declan again.
My eyes searched the milling crowd until I found him standing next to a big column outside the entrance to the stone building. His dark brown hair was disheveled as if he’d raked his hands through it. As I watched, he took his bottom lip between his teeth and pulled as he read Pride and Prejudice.
He checked every box I had.
“He’s a dream,” Shelley purred next to me.
“He’s okay,” was my reply.
“Girl, you crazier than my mama when she’s got her menses and runs out of coffee.”
She grinned and gave me a hug. She’d been over to the apartment for the past two nights to keep me company. Between Declan and the whole Mom and Karl mess, I’d needed a friend. I’d also cooked dinner for her both nights in appreciation of her getting me the jewelry interview.
I pulled her aside. “Heard anything about Colby?”
She nodded, a worried expression on her face. “Officially, the word is he left NYU because he wanted to be closer to home.” She rolled her eyes. “As if anyone would miss Petal.”
I nodded.
She held a finger up. “The gossip is he got caught sniffing coke at a party the cops busted. He got off, thanks to dear old dad, but he also got kicked out of school—and went to some fancy rehab. Looks like our perfect poster boy isn’t so clean anymore.”
She sent me a hard look. “And if he comes to your house again, you have to call the police. You can’t take any chances, especially if he’s doing drugs. Think about it, Elizabeth. He was always on the edge in high school, and I guarantee you, Colby on drugs is crazy as shit. As soon as you see him, you run straight to Decla
n’s or you dial 911. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Declan looked up at that moment, his gray eyes zeroing in on mine, and I lifted a hand in a wave. I shoved thoughts of Colby away.
He tucked his book in his backpack and headed our way.
“Just watching him walk is like art moving.” Shelley sighed.
He stopped in front of our crew, gave Dax a fist bump and nodded at the rest of us. We all headed inside Zoe’s, a pizza place.
Declan slowed his steps until he was walking next to me. “Hey, you. Been wanting to talk to you.”
“Hey.” I set my pace with his. “You didn’t come to class today.”
He sighed and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. I had an appointment at a bank. We had some flooring issues come up at the gym, and I went in to see if I could adjust my loan.” He rubbed his jaw.
My lips parted. He needed more money? “I wish I could help you.”
He shrugged. “I’ve got a plan. Always. But enough of that.” He sent me a serious look, his eyes roaming over my face as if he were devouring it. “I’m sorry about Nadia showing up at the diner … and then we didn’t really get to finish talking about everything.”
“About having sex and how great it was?” I inhaled.
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. Wanna meet tonight?”
“I get off work at seven.”
“Hey guys!” Nadia waved, a bright smile on her face as she said excuse me’s and cut in front of several students so she could be directly behind us. “Are you having lunch too?”
What the hell. She was like a tick you couldn’t get off a dog.
And this whole showing up everywhere we were? Not cool.
She smiled. “So happy I saw you! I wanted to tell you good luck on your jewelry interview.”
I blinked. How fake could she be? I’d just told her how annoying she was the last time I saw her.
She bobbed her blond hair. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. Declan told me all about it. Do you make rings? I’d love to see them sometime.” She flashed her right hand where a huge diamond rested. “Daddy gave me this one on my eighteenth birthday, but I’d love something more quaint.”
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