I looked at Declan. “You tell everything you know?” I left asshole off.
He frowned. “We were talking at the diner—after you so abruptly left—and I happened to mention why we were at Minnie’s to begin with—”
“Oh no. Did I say something wrong?” Nadia said, biting her lip and batting her lashes. “Please don’t misunderstand. It’s just Declan and I have a deep friendship. We will talk even if we don’t date anymore. I hope that doesn’t bother you. Oh, but you guys aren’t dating anyway, right?”
Oh, she didn’t fool me.
Just the thought of her with Declan made me want to pull every hair on her head out. In clumps. Hell, it made me want to pull every hair on his head out.
Maybe some chest hairs too.
But I reminded myself that Nadia was a pro at manipulating people, and I refused to be toyed with so easily. Two years ago, I’d let myself break in half when girls had trash-talked and run me into the ground, but that wasn’t ever going to happen again.
Bitchy girls with a hard-on for Declan would not determine my happiness or lack thereof.
Declan took my hand and laced his fingers through mine. His thumb caressed my palm. Did he know I was jonesing to smack her? “You ready to eat, love?” he asked softly.
I speared a last look at Nadia’s face, her eyes locked on our intertwined hands.
The cave woman in me wanted to jump on her and have a tussle right here in the cafeteria. But I was better than that.
I nodded at Declan. “I’m starving.”
“Oh, and by the way, Elizabeth and I are dating, Nadia,” Declan said. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to eat lunch.”
What? I felt my eyes widen, but I played it cool.
What on earth was he up to? Was he just trying to get rid of her?
She blinked rapidly, her mouth opening and closing, and then she turned and flounced off.
As soon as she was out of earshot, he turned to me. “You know me telling her about your jewelry was completely innocent, right? She twisted that to make it more than it was.” He studied my face. “I don’t want Nadia. I think you know exactly what I want.”
Okay.
I didn’t bring up his comment about us dating as we went through the line, got our pizzas, and found the large table where our friends were already seated.
Because you like the idea.
“Sit here,” Declan said to me, pointing to a seat next to him as he sat down when Blake motioned for me to sit next to him.
I sent Blake an apologetic smile as I sat down next to Declan.
Just then a text came in on my phone, and I pulled it out of my backpack.
I read the text and the air got sucked out of me.
So you’re blackmailing my father now? Not smart, Elizabeth. Call me ASAP. See you real soon, babe …
Emphatic. Sure of himself. Colby Scott.
I wanted to hurl the phone across the room but settled for gripping the edge of the table.
I jerked up from my seat and grabbed my backpack.
“Where’re you going?” Dax and Declan both asked at the same time, the similar timbres of their voices striking.
“Home.”
“But, you still have classes,” Shelley said with a quizzical look. “You’ve never missed a class in your life, even when you had the flu … Crap, you look like death warmed over.” She scowled. “Was that your mom on the phone?”
Deny, deny, deny.
I clutched my phone to my chest. “Just not feeling well. Later guys.”
Blake stood up. “Wait, I’ll walk you to the parking lot.”
“No, I will.” Declan stood.
Everyone looked at each other, uneasy glances going between Blake and Declan.
“I don’t need a babysitter.” I pivoted on my heels and had just cleared the door that lead to the outdoor quad when I felt Declan behind me. He pulled me to a stop and I whipped around.
His eyes searched mine. “Why are you so upset? One minute you were glad to see me, and the next you can’t get away fast enough. What’s going on with you? Was it Nadia?”
I shook my head.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Has Colby been to see you?”
“No. I—I just need to get home. I don’t feel well.” I twirled around, but his voice stopped me.
“You’re running, Elizabeth, but it won’t do you any good. You can’t fight what we have.”
His words went straight to my gut, and I turned back to face him.
His eyes bored into mine. “Can’t you see what’s happening between us? We keep pushing each other away because we’re scared. But that night at the gym—it wasn’t just sex for me, Elizabeth. I want you for real, all the good and bad parts together.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Stop denying us.”
Us? The colony of butterflies in my tummy went crazy.
He continued. “You have wounds. Deep ones. I see that. You’re living in the past with no hope for the future, but you do have hope. I saw it when you talked about your jewelry. I saw it when I made love to you. Just—open your heart. Let me in.” His words were insistent, his eyes soft. Earnest. I sucked in a sharp breath.
God, he was beautiful.
So was Colby.
Didn’t he see that I couldn’t change for him? Did he really think I would hand him the razors to cut out my heart piece by piece? It wasn’t just a paper thing you could tape back together.
“My heart is not easily mended,” I whispered. “And you—you have the potential to rip it apart permanently, so much more than Colby ever did.”
He exhaled. “I will never hurt you.”
“Colby said that too,” I said bitterly.
“Listen to me, Elizabeth,” he clasped my hand, his gray eyes peering down at me intently. “I’ve known since the frat party that we have a connection. There’s a magnet in my chest that’s drawn to yours. Maybe it was lust at first sight. Maybe it was the vulnerable way you looked at me, but mostly, it—it was the dragonfly. This feeling … it’s crazy and I can’t define it, but I think—I think I’m falling for you.”
Love?
Love cuts out your heart piece by piece, feeding it to the boy you love.
But this is Declan. He’s different, a small voice whispered.
But …
“What do you want from me?” My voice was torn, my emotions all over the place.
He cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing the curve of my face. “The truth. How do you feel? Do you hate me? Do you want me to kiss you?” His full lips tilted up in a sweet smile, like he already knew the answer. I guess he did.
He leaned his head down and pressed his warm mouth against mine. The pressure was gentle and sweet at first, but like everything between us, it got hot fast. His hand snaked into my hair and cupped my head as our tongues tangled, massaging, our passion rising with each dark stroke. God, yes. I wanted this. Him. Forever.
But all I could think about was Colby. I eased back from him and rested my forehead against his chest.
Afraid to look at him. Afraid to face the truth of what I had to do.
He tilted my chin up, his eyes heavy with desire. “Don’t pull away, Elizabeth. Not from me.”
But I did.
I exhaled heavily, all the while trying to mentally distance myself from his heady maleness that made me want to crawl into him and never leave.
“Come with me and we’ll get out of here,” he said quietly. “Just—don’t tell me what I think I see on your face.”
I closed my eyes. No, this had to stop. If he wanted the truth, I’d give it to him.
“Wait,” I said, taking another step back. “You haven’t heard everything. Colby—he chased me relentlessly, and I just couldn’t wrap my head around why a guy like him wanted me. I didn’t have rich parents or the right clothes or even a car. I wasn’t popular, although that changed once he made it known he wanted me. Suddenl
y I was part of the in-crowd. Girls wanted to be my bestie. Guys talked to me. Looking back, I see now I was merely a trophy to him, the girl he couldn’t have. The virgin.” I bit my lip hard.
Declan’s face tightened.
My gut churned with memories, but I couldn’t stop. I had to get it all out this one last time. “He—he bought me flowers, texted me fifty times a day, and I was too naïve to see what was right in front of my face. He was a player who’d left a trail of broken hearts—but he told me I was different and that he’d change for me.” I sucked in a deep breath, forcing the words out. “Prom night he provided the alcohol and drugs. Things got hazy. One moment I was dancing and the next I was in a hotel room with my dress ripped apart. It wasn’t what I wanted,” my voice cracked, and I yanked it back under control. “That night, darkness slithered its way into my heart, and I vowed to never fall in love again. Two days later, my mom still wasn’t home from Vegas, and I—I slit my wrists to end the blackness inside me. I—I never want love to push me to the brink of ending myself again.”
Declan had taken to pacing during my story, but now he came to a standstill and looked at me, his fists clenched at his side. “I’ll kill the bastard.”
My voice quivered. “He’s untouchable—even for you.”
“Did you report him?”
“And ruin my life? Put myself through a pointless court battle and public censure? I’m a nobody!”
“Never say that.” The tightness around his mouth softened as his eyes searched mine. I pulled back from him even more, my eyes everywhere except on his face.
He saw too much.
He gathered my stiff body in his arms and held me.
But I couldn’t relax. I wanted to hide away forever. I wanted to disappear.
“I got you, Elizabeth. Let me take care of you. Let me be the one you run to. We can figure it all out together.”
My breath hitched. I debated on telling him more about Colby, about the text and the threat behind it, but I couldn’t involve him. I couldn’t lead him on. Because in the end, I could never love again.
“Elizabeth?”
I gazed up at him. “Declan …” My voice trailed off, unable to form the words that teetered on my lips.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, eyes clinging to mine, hope on his face.
“I—I can’t.” My voice sounded strangled.
“Tell me why.”
Emotions warred in me, part of me wanting to sink into his arms and throw caution to the wind, but the other side …
“Why won’t you let me in?” he insisted.
“You know why,” I said, closing my eyes briefly and pulling back.
“Say it. Get some guts and just fucking say it. You know how you feel about me.” His hands clutched my arms.
“Because I—”
“Yes?”
I shook my head and swallowed down the words in my heart and went with the ones in my head. “I—I can’t be with you. You’re all wrong for me. You’re a fighter and you’re beautiful and you’ll break my heart. You’re just another one-night stand, okay? That’s it. Nothing more. Just—just leave me alone. We’re done.” I jerked away from him, chest heaving.
Immediately, I wanted to yank the words back, but the rules girl in my head told me to run and end this misery.
So I did.
“Wait,” he barked out, but I moved furiously through the quad, dodging students as I bolted for the parking lot.
26
An avalanche of emotions slammed into me as I watched her weave through the quad. Running from us. She’d rejected me, just as if she’d reached in my chest and squeezed the fuck out of my heart.
So much for putting it out there on the table and taking a chance.
She was falling in love with me too, but the kicker was she didn’t want to.
I knew it. She knew it.
I watched her until she got to the street, her lonely figure hunched over as she checked the crosswalk and then crossed hurriedly, headed for the carpark. She moved like the devil was behind her, and dammit, I didn’t want to be the person who put that freaked-out look on her face.
I’d just wanted to see where we could go from here.
I wanted her in my bed at night and every morning.
I wanted her in my skin.
I wanted her in my soul.
And I wanted in hers.
Yet …
She was afraid because of Colby Scott. Fucking rapist. My anger skyrocketed, my blood racing through my veins when I thought about him.
I was going to kill him. Slowly and with my bare hands.
Fuck. I rubbed my hair, my hands tugging on the ends. But it wasn’t just Colby keeping us apart, was it? There was the fighting, and no way in hell was I giving up my dream. I lived and breathed by my fists. My gym meant everything to me, and maybe I’d even shoot for a UFC stint when I got settled.
With a heaviness in my chest, I stalked back toward the cafeteria and people shuffled to go around me on the sidewalk. Considering the mix of what I was feeling, there was no telling what was on my face.
Dax had come outside and walked toward me. He pulled up next to me, a wary look on his face. “Where’d she go? Did you cock it up?”
I exhaled, trying to let go of the lingering frustration. “She went home, and no, I didn’t cock it up for your information. I told her I wanted more, and she told me to stay away. Oh, she also said I was nothing but a fuck to her. Nice little conversation.”
He opened his mouth, but I held my hand up. “Not now. I don’t want any bloody questions. She told me how she felt, and I am officially finished.”
His mouth tightened. “I just want to help. I like her and I think she’s good for you.”
“Yeah? She doesn’t want me, brother.”
But she’s afraid, a voice reminded me. So? I had my bloody pride too.
He let out a sigh. “It’s just—there’s something about the two of you…the way you look at her…bollocks, I don’t know. You should go after her. Don’t give up so soon.”
Leftover anger flared again. “Great. Romance advice from the guy who’s never had a serious relationship. Thanks but no thanks.”
“Don’t be an arse.”
“Don’t be a nosy parker,” I snapped. “You don’t know what the bloody hell you’re on about.”
“You’re my twin. I can read you like a book. You’re halfway in love with her already.”
I barked out a laugh. “Maybe if you did read a real book, you’d pass your classes.”
“Knobhead. You don’t know when to shut your gob do you?”
“Back to the name calling? Very mature,” I said with gritted teeth. “You best take a step back, brother, and think about what you’re doing.”
We faced off with each other, our eyes glaring as the moments ticked by.
Suddenly he relaxed his stance, his shoulders dipping as he took a step back and surveyed me critically. He waved his hands at me. “This. This is how I know you’re in trouble when it comes to Elizabeth. Your fists are clenched, you’ve got this crazy look in your eye, and your hair looks like squirrels are living in it you’re pulling on it so much. You’re in deep shit, and you don’t know how to handle it.”
I rubbed my temple, my anger cooling rapidly. I shouldn’t be angry at him. This wasn’t about Dax. This was about her.
His eyes went to something behind me. “Bollocks. Here comes more trouble.”
I turned to see Nadia approaching at a fast pace, her hips swinging as she crossed the quad and came to a halt in front of us. Her voice was slightly breathless. “Hey, I saw Elizabeth running away from you from inside the cafeteria. Is everything okay?”
“Stalker,” Dax muttered.
Her green eyes hardened as she swiveled toward him. They’d never really got along; mostly because she’d been jealous of the closeness he and I shared.
I gave her my noncommittal shrug and made to walk off from both of them when she grabbed my hand. “Wai
t. I—I need to tell you something about Elizabeth. Remember us talking about our mutual friend Colby? I talked to him yesterday, and he told me the truth. She’s got an absolutely terrible reputation in Petal—”
I jerked back from her as if she scalded me. “Shut up, Nadia, you don’t know jack,” I snarled. “Don’t ever say his name again. He’s a—” I caught myself when her eyes flared wide. I couldn’t betray Elizabeth.
“He’s a what?”
“Nothing. Just stay away from him—and me.”
She gasped but quickly recovered. “Why? You can’t just say that and not follow up.” She hitched her bag up on her shoulder. “Is he not who I think he is?”
Dax smirked and raked his eyes over her. “Is anyone? Sometimes you have a girlfriend who says she loves you but then she screws a Ninja Turtle.”
She reddened, her eyes glaring. “Stay out of this, Dax. I’m talking to Declan. Not you.”
He nudged his head at me. “Look at him, Nadia. He isn’t thinking about you or your shit. He was over you the day you cheated. He wants Elizabeth. Scoot on along now little slag.”
Her lips tightened. “I know what that word means.”
“Indeed,” he smirked. “That was my intention.”
She flicked a strand of hair and huffed, but he wasn’t done yet, and I wondered if it was because he’d never seen me this worked up over a girl.
“By the way, I hadn’t had a chance to say anything to Declan yet, but I ran into one of your sorority sisters at the Tau house last week. I flirted a bit—as I usually do—and suddenly we were involved in a deep conversation about you. She just so happened to mention that your mum is not at home these days, but is in fact currently on a two-month-long cruise around the world. Interesting. It must be hard to get chemo out on the ocean.”
She paled, her eyes flaring wide. “Wha—What? Who told you that? She—she’s home.”
He smiled. “Then why are you stuttering? The thing is, I’m guessing you made that story up so Declan would talk to you again so you could manipulate him into feeling sorry for you and eventually taking you back. It needs to stop, Nadia.”
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