Relentless Habit: O-Town Series

by Karen Renee

  Once I was dressed, I put my dirty clothes in a laundry bag and realized I hadn’t seen Marnie either. The hallway to the bedrooms overlooked the living room below.

  I caught Vamp’s gaze. “Where’s Marnie and Cecilia?”

  My brother’s pierced eyebrow cocked momentarily. Pissed me off he did that shit better than I ever could. Hell, he did it better than The Rock did in his WWF heyday.

  Pop tilted his head back to me. “Marn’s in the study. Think Cecilia is on the patio.”

  Rainey shook her head. “No, War. She came in a moment ago, and she’s using our bathroom to wash the chlorine off.”

  Dad shrugged, but kept his eyes on me. “There you go, son.”

  I lifted my chin and went back to my room. It was hard not to dwell on the fact I wanted to be the one to swim with Cecilia in the pool, and I had missed out on that. Nothing about this day had gone as planned, but I was happy Cecilia hadn’t talked Marnie into driving her back to Orlando. It would have been a monkey off my back, but for whatever fucked-up reason, I wanted to be the one to take her home.

  Chugging the remainder of my water, I went downstairs to put the bottle in the recycle bin. The kitchen light was already on, and I found Cecilia and Marnie at the pantry. There were two napkins on the counter, each with a chocolate-covered mallowcookie on top. Neither had noticed my presence.

  On her tip-toes, Marnie put the package of cookies on the top shelf. “I’m sorry to hear your friend can’t take you home tomorrow. Now, there’s a linen closet outside the study. Sheets are on the second shelf; they’ll be too big for the couch, but I’m sure they’ll do.”

  “No,” I said from the doorway.

  Both of them jolted and turned to me with surprise in their eyes. Marnie looked between me and Cecilia for a moment before she spoke.

  “Well, I’ll leave you two be. Let me know if you need help, Cecilia.”

  She grabbed a napkin with a cookie and left.

  Cecilia twisted her napkin on the island, and refused to look at me. “I have to sleep somewhere tonight, Brock. At least in the study, I won’t be in your hair.”

  “No. We can share my bed. After all, it’s just sleeping.”

  Her face jerked up, and her eyes flared at me. “It’s never been just sleeping with us before, Brock. I’m not so sure that’s a promise either one of us can fulfill. I’ll make up the couch, and I’ll figure out a way home tomorrow.”

  My fists clenched reflexively as I ground my teeth. “Dammit, Su–...Cecilia. You’re not makin’ up the fuckin’ couch. Go sleep in my goddamn bed. I’ll be in there after a while.”

  Cecilia

  I woke up in Brock’s bed, and I knew I hadn’t slept that long. What I also knew was that my mind was off to the races in a way I wasn’t going back to sleep.

  Then I heard it. Brock’s light, but distinct, snoring. I had spent well over a dozen nights with him, and never had I noticed he snored. For that matter, I never had nights where I woke up. That was unusual in itself, and I was stunned I hadn’t noticed it sooner.

  I moved in the bed because the springs were poking my hip in the worst way, and Brock’s snoring halted. Great. The last thing I wanted to do was wake him. Hell, this was one of the very reasons I didn’t want to be in the same bed as him. I had done enough damage that day, in no way did I want to extend that into the night.

  Brock shifted to his side, and after not too long, I heard his heavy breathing. I couldn’t handle laying in bed listening to him for hours on end, so I carefully slid out of the bed. I grabbed my pillow on the off chance I actually could get back to sleep on a couch. Slowly moving down the stairs, I noticed the motion sensors in the upper corners of the walls. I wouldn’t be taking a walk down to the beach, if I remained sleepless.

  I was on the last step when I heard Rainey, hiss, “Vamp! Get back here.”

  He shushed her. “Baby, hush. I’m getting your wine and some whipped cream.”

  Ugh! Not what I needed to know.

  My goal was to get to the study which, God willing, would be out of earshot from Vamp and Rainey’s bedroom activities. I tip-toed to the study and settled into a deep leather sofa. In the dimness, I could see the outline of a lamp, so I turned it on. A cardboard box on the floor near the couch grabbed my attention.

  “She wasn’t kidding,” I whispered to myself.

  Earlier, when I went shopping with her and Rainey, Marnie had shooed us out of the used-book store we’d been in for half an hour. “Go to that dress shop, girls. I’m getting an entire box of books, so I’ll be a while.”

  When we caught up with her again, I had seen no sign of this box, until now. It was nearly overflowing with old paperback romances. I grabbed the one closest to me, and read the back. No way I was going to judge it by its cover because nearly all the covers looked the same: tall, buff man with long hair, dressed in a flowing white shirt, dark pants, and knee high boots. Since my mind wouldn’t shut off, I started reading.

  Unfortunately, because my mind wouldn’t shut off, I had barely read five lines when I heard something creak nearby. The air had recently turned off, and I knew houses made ‘settling’ noises with shifts in the temperature, so I thought nothing of it.

  Situating my pillow, I laid the book down and then positioned my head so I could read laying down. It wasn’t easy on my eyes, but it was a habit I’d developed as a little girl. Memories of my tenth birthday immediately came to mind. I was supposed to have a huge slumber party, but a few days prior I developed a fever and head cold. Mom canceled the whole thing. I complained that I would be better in time, but the next day, I had to have a tonsillectomy.

  On the day which would’ve been the party, Tennille came to my room carrying a copy of a Sweet Valley High book I had received for my birthday. She had the library copy, and since I couldn’t speak much, she lay on the trundle next to me while we both read the same book.

  Tears sprung to my eyes as I remembered how simple life seemed back then. It was a shame we weren’t as close any more.

  I shoved the memory aside, and read another page of my book, when Brock’s voice startled me.

  “You just bide your time before you could get away from me?”

  I sighed and sat up. “Believe it or not, I slept. Just not for very long, and–”

  “You had to get away from me,” he assumed.

  I glared at him. “No. My mind was just running, and listening to you sleep wasn’t helping matters. I thought about taking a walk down to the beach–”

  “With your pillow?” he asked, crossing his arms on his t-shirt clad chest.

  “No, but it doesn’t matter. I noticed the motion sensors and knew that option was definitely out.”

  “Well, come back to the bed. You’re not sleepin’ on a fuckin’ couch.”

  “Brock,” I started, but stopped when Gabe entered the room.

  “Great, my number-one-fan is here, too.”

  Gabe chuckled, and actually smiled while he did it.

  He pointed at me briefly. “That’s pretty funny. You oughta think about stand-up.”

  I rolled my eyes, muttering, “Cause that’s a good idea in my–”

  “Whatever, kids. Brock, I didn’t tell you she was down here so you two could shout the house down with your squabbling.”

  Brock turned angry eyes to Gabe. “You can only hear it because we’re right beneath your room.”

  “And Vamp or Rainey won’t hear it? They’re just–”

  “Just gettin’ down with some wine and whipped cream.” Both men turned shocked stares to me. “Sorry, heard Vamp tell Rainey that as I got to the bottom of the stairs. If I had to know about it, I figured you two should, too.”

  Gabe looked to Brock. “Now, she feels like sharing.”

  Brock closed his eyes and pressed his lips together.

  That didn’t look good, so I trudged toward both of them, muttering, “Fine. Geez. I’ll be back in the bedroom. Here take my pillow, I’m stopping off at the bathroom.�
��

  After I used the facilities, I went to the bedroom to find Brock standing at his side of the bed staring at where he’d obviously set my pillow. Gently and quietly, I closed the door. He stared at me as I walked over to my side.

  “You gonna sleep this time?”

  I looked to the side and back to him. “I slept a little earlier.”

  “Sleep some more... Cecilia,” he said, and it tore at my shattered heart because he drew out the ‘s’ sound in my name, likely because he wanted to call me Sunflower instead.

  With a deep breath, I tried to stay calm. “Listen, it just doesn’t work like that, honey.”

  “Don’t,” he clipped out.

  “Sorry, but really, I told you weeks ago, when I can’t sleep bad things happen.”

  “Not here,” he almost growled.

  I scoffed. “Um, yes, here. There are four bottles of liquor on the counter, six —well, probably five now— bottles of wine on the rack, and who knows how many bottles of hooch hidden in a cabinet.”

  “Cecilia,” he tried to interrupt, but I was on a roll.

  “And believe it or not, that’s not where I’d be most likely to start. I got out of this room without you noticing. I don’t know how Gabe knew I was downstairs, but I’d bet good money I could sneak into and out of Warren’s room and bathroom with some pills. He’s over fifty, probably has a Valium or two at least. Maybe some Percocet. Oxy, if I’ve really hit the jackpot. Mix that with some-”

  “Enough, honey,” he said and to my surprise, his tone was almost gentle.

  “Don’t ‘honey’ me,” I whispered.

  “Just lay down, please.”

  “Don’t you see? That’s the ugly. That’s how fuckin’ ugly it gets when I can’t sleep. It’s where my mind goes. So, please, if I can’t get back to la-la-land laying here next to you with my heart in shambles, let me be on that couch in the study.”

  Saying that last took more guts than I knew I had, and the tears were welling fast. He was staring at me hard. I turned my back, sat on the bed and only when I felt the bed moving from Brock getting in it, did I put my legs in the bed and lay down. The good, the bad, and the ugly summed it up exactly. Early, Brock and I had the good. So much goodness, I had fooled myself that I could keep hold on the good, but once he knew my secret, he got the bad. Only now had he seen the ugly.

  MY EYES OPENED AND I was surprised sleep had found me after laying down next to Brock. I stared at the walls and based on the how dark the room was, I knew the sun wasn’t close to rising yet. My phone was tucked in my purse and the alarm clock was on Brock’s side of the bed. Rather than shift the bed in an effort to know what time it was, I smoothly removed myself from the bed. Again.

  Brock was laying on his side with a leg hitched up and his arms stretched out, one large hand dangling off the side of the bed. He looked hot without even trying.

  Rather than torture myself by staring at him, I quietly made my way downstairs, being especially careful on the staircase. I figured that was the main reason Gabe knew about me going downstairs earlier. In the study, I turned on a table lamp, found the book I had started reading, and gave it another go.

  I turned the page to the second chapter when Warren’s voice cut the silence.

  “Had no idea you were an early bird, Cecilia.”

  I turned to him while shaking my head. “Not an early bird by any means, sir. I wasn’t able to sleep earlier, which of course means my body insists on waking up earlier than it should to add mayhem to my misery.”

  He gave me a small smile. “Well, how about some coffee? You could even join me on the patio, if you feel like company.”

  His eyes were so like Brock’s, but friendlier, and of course, wiser as only age could do to anyone. As much I wanted to join him, it seemed an overstep on my part. Warren’s eyes focused on me as if he could sense my reluctance.

  “The pot will be ready in a few minutes. Join me if you like or not. It’s dark out, but even though we’re not on the coast directly watching the light shift in my backyard as the sun rises can’t be beat.”

  I stared at the next chapter of the book, but could not process what I was reading. “Screw it,” I whispered to myself, stood up, and padded out to the kitchen.

  Warren had two cups sitting out, but had only filled one. When he looked over his shoulder at me, he grinned knowingly and I realized Brock had adopted many of his Pop’s mannerisms. My heart twisted with the knowledge, but it was the least of the punishments I deserved for keeping things from Brock.

  “You take cream or sugar?” Warren asked.

  I smiled. “Two sugars and as heavy on the cream as you can be.”

  He chuckled. “So, you don’t like coffee?”

  I smiled. “It’s a taste I’ve only recently acquired, but only loosely, I guess you’d say.”

  When I stepped forward to grab my mug, Warren shook his head at me. “No need, dear. You get the slider opened, and that’s all you need to do.”

  He followed me out to the patio and set the mug in front of the seat I pulled out from the table. I sipped the brew and looked at the eclectic backyard.

  Warren, however, launched right in with questions. “So, you’re living in Orlando, and working at Disney. What are your goals?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m working in a gift shop at Disney, but my goal is to be cast as Elsa instead. Not sure if that will happen or not. I have an audition in a couple weeks. So, we’ll see.”

  He looked at me more closely than normal before he smiled. “If your singing voice is as sweet as your speaking voice, I suspect you’ll land that role. But, is there any particular reason you want the role?”

  Outside of the casting department, nobody had asked me that. Not Tennille, Mom, MeMaw or even Daddy. Part of me wondered if that said something about them or me. The truth was I identified with Elsa. Hiding who she was, holding it inside and never letting go was exactly who I was, until I found drugs. Obviously, I couldn’t tell the casting department any of that, but aside from drugs the only other time I felt I could ‘let it go’ was when I was singing.

  I shrugged, but had opened my mouth to answer Warren when the glass door opened and Gabe walked out.

  Before I could think better of it, I blurted, “This guy thinks I should do stand-up, but that’s ludicrous.”

  There was a pregnant pause as Gabe stared at me, and Warren looked puzzled. That was what I got for lack of sleep. My mouth ran away from my mind in stellar fashion.

  Clamping my mouth shut, I was amazed the two men let my comment slide. Conversation began to flow naturally between them, as it would, but somehow they included me in it. I blinked as I realized there was a sliver of a chance I had won them both over —maybe. With a sharp shake of my head, I pushed that thought aside because even if I had, it was a case of too little too late. Story of my life.

  Vamp sauntered out to the patio, taking the last chair, and yawned. He passed his hands over his smooth bald head a number of times and I realized it must have been something he did to wake up. With my mug to my lips, I caught Gabe’s big eyes and shook my head.

  A glint entered his eye before he said, “So, Cary. Cecilia said you needed whipped cream last night.”

  Thank God I had swallowed because my mouth fell wide open. “Gabe! Good grief, you did not just say that.”

  Gabe threw his head back and laughed harder than the situation warranted. Warren was shaking his head next to me, but Vamp was giving me a hard look.

  “How do you know that?”

  I sighed and shot a dirty look at Gabe, which only set him to chuckling. “I couldn’t sleep and was on my way to the study when I heard Rainey hissing for you get back there.”

  Vamp’s eyes slid to Gabe and then me. “You didn’t watch, did you?”

  Fierce heat hit my cheeks, and my mouth dropped open again. Now all three of them were laughing at me.

  The glass door slid open, and Rainey stood there with a mug in her hands. “What in the hell
can be that funny this early in the morning?”

  For some damn reason, this only served to make the men laugh more.

  I made big eyes at Rainey. “Men. Believe me, it’s not that funny. Here, I’m done with my coffee, you have a seat.”

  Rainey threw out a hand and shook her head at me. “No, no. I’m gonna make some waffles. Just wanted–”

  Gabe audibly choked on his laughter, and I couldn’t stop a giggle from slipping out.

  Rainey’s eyes narrowed on me. “Now, I know that isn’t funny, and you can’t blame it on men. What is going on?”

  “Havin’ whipped cream on those waffles?” Gabe asked, his voice thick with suppressed laughter.

  Vamp chuckled. “She can’t. There’s none left.”

  Warren stood up. “Okay, that’s enough for me. Lorraine, you have a seat. I will start making french toast, eggs, and bacon.”

  He took hold of Rainey’s forearms and deftly moved her to the patio while he stepped inside, sliding the door shut behind him.

  She sat down in Warren’s seat, and gave Gabe a dirty look. “I don’t even know how you know about that.”

  I hung my head and giggled. Hearing the sliding door again, I looked up expecting to see Warren, but Brock was standing there glaring at all of us.

  Gabe leaned back and looked up at Brock. “Yo! You missed it, man. I don’t know what was fuckin’ funnier. Seein’ Cecilia blush like a rose or makin’ Pop so uncomfortable he offered to make breakfast instead of Rainey.”

  Brock looked at Gabe and Vamp, but when he looked at me, he was scowling. He shook his head and went back inside.

  Yep. As usual, the story of my life was too little and way too late.

  Chapter Ten

  What's Another Night?