Finding Teagan

by R J Gray

  "I couldn't see Jason being a spanking type. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised to add him to the list of spank happy friends."

  "List?" Luca parroted.

  "Yep. The spank happy type list. You are on the very top of it."

  "A spank happy type?" The offensive words rolled off of Luca's tongue. "Darlin', if you mean, a dominant man who will set standards and rules for his woman to follow to encourage open communication, safety, growth in both her personal life, their relationship, as well as a healthy sex life, then, yes, I guess you could say that I am a spank happy type. You know what else, Teagan?"

  "What's that?"

  "You are the spank happy type, too."

  "I am not!" The offense was clear in her tone.

  "Oh?" He leaned across the table. "I notice your blush every time spanking is mentioned. I heard you casually ask Ro questions about it, and do you remember the hot tub?" Luca pierced Teagan with an intent gaze, daring her to look away. She stared back.

  "Some of it. I know I drank entirely too much and might have removed my top," she said.

  "Yes, darlin', you removed your top. Do you remember what you said to me when I was helping you into the bathroom to get dressed?"

  "I said something to you?" Teagan squeaked.

  "Yes, you sure did. You said, 'are you going to boop me now, Daddy?' and it took everything in me not to flip you over my knee and swat your behind, but you aren't mine, and I don't spank women who aren't mine."

  "I did not!"

  "Yes, you did. Don't think for one second, I haven't noticed all the signs, Teagan. You are very much a submissive underneath that tough woman act you have to put on every day. You're just waiting for the one man to come along and be that person for you."

  "And you think you are that man?"

  "No, Teagan."

  "Good; me, neither," Teagan quickly responded.

  "No, Teagan. I don't think I am that man. I know that I am."

  Chapter 3

  "What?" Teagan's mouth dropped open. That was not what she was expecting him to say. There was no denying the chemistry between them, and Teagan had thought about how a one-night stand with Luca might be, but she had shrugged it off, not wanting to complicate things between her brother-in-law and his best friend. She remembered the hot tub and Luca helping her get redressed, but she didn't remember the conversation. Perhaps intentionally, if she had said all of that.

  "I've had more than enough time to observe you, Teagan, and to get to know you. While it may have only been in group settings, I still think I have gotten to know you very well. For instance, you stopped correcting me when I call you darlin'."

  "It wasn't stopping you," Teagan shrugged.

  "I think it grew on you," Luca said confidently. Maybe it had. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of confirmation. They sat for a few minutes in silence, eating their lunches. Teagan might not be saying anything, but she was thinking a lot of things.

  "Are you ready for me to put in those to-go orders now?" The waitress came back to the table.

  "What time is it?" Luca looked at his watch. "Yes, please. I need to get back to work soon."

  "I do, too," Teagan said, pulling out her wallet as she watched the waitress walk away.

  "What are you doing?" Luca looked pointedly at her wallet.

  "Paying for my lunch."

  "Absolutely not," Luca said. "You don't pay when we're together."

  "This isn't a date, Luca," Teagan growled.

  "No? It sure felt like one to me, even if Ro took away my ability to ask you."

  "Lorenzo, I can pay for my own lunch."

  "Pulling out the full names, are we, Teagan Anne? I'm sure you can pay for your own lunch, but you won't."

  "Or what?"

  "It won't be a simple 'boop' that you will be experiencing for the first time."

  "God. This is exactly why I don't want a spank happy man. First, you have no right to threaten to spank me. I'm not yours. Second, if I want to pay for my own fucking lunch, I will." Teagan slammed her wallet down on the table, staring Luca down. Butterflies dipped into her stomach when she noticed the prominent tic appear in his jaw and his scrunched eyebrows.

  "Little girl, don't poke the fire unless you want to be burned. You know how I said that Jason is the easiest going of all of us?" All Teagan could do was nod as Luca leaned across the table until he was just an inch from her face. "I'm the strictest. I'm the type of Daddy who is going to push you to be the best possible person you can, but I don't put up with anything. What you are doing right now is testing me. You want to see what my reaction is going to be. Teagan Anne, do you want to know what would have happened if you were mine?"

  "Yes?" Teagan asked. Her heart had dropped into her stomach, goosebumps rising on her arms.

  "I would have taken your wallet from you, paid the bill, and quickly escorted you outside to my truck. I would have taken you straight to my house or to S.E.A.L, and we would have had a date with a bar of soap in your mouth. Once your mouth was nice and clean, I would have had a discussion with you about disrespect and defying me that would have ended up with you in the corner, your hot, red butt on display. But my little girl would never have pulled out her wallet in the first place, let alone cursed at her Daddy."

  Teagan had no words. She said she didn't want a spank happy man. She swore up and down she didn't. Yet, maybe a small part of her did. Maybe, just maybe, she was curious about giving up control to someone else. Her entire adult life, she was in control. She was almost OCD about it. She also didn't allow anyone in. Her walls were built tall to protect herself. She had been incredibly vulnerable letting her sisters in. She wasn't sure if she could allow someone else in, too.

  "Your silence is telling, darlin'," Luca drawled.

  "Oh?"

  "When are you going to let down those walls and let me in?"

  "When are you going to stop reading my mind?"

  "If I recall, my reading your mind is what caused us to win Taboo at Thanksgiving." Teagan was grateful that Luca changed the topic to something lighter.

  "Yes, I know Ro matched us up on purpose."

  "I'm sure she did; her matchmaking has no bounds."

  "You needed a win. You were terrible at Yahtzee."

  "No, I was letting Mable win."

  "Sure, you were," Teagan teased.

  "Here you go." The waitress put the paid bill and the food on the table.

  "How?" Teagan's mouth dropped open. Luca walked around and pulled her chair out for her. Grabbing the takeout, they headed outside.

  "I held the bill out to her when I leaned in to tell you exactly what would happen when you are mine. You were so focused on what I was saying that you didn't see."

  "God. You are so high handed."

  "I am. You will see quite how high I can raise it when I am spanking your behind."

  "When?" Teagan said. "I think you are getting ahead of yourself."

  "Oh, no, darlin'. You are just lagging behind. Let me show you how high handed I can be." Luca stepped even closer to Teagan. Lifting her chin, he dipped his head and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, a sweet kiss. It left Teagan wanting more. Sparks flew between them; there was no shortage of physical chemistry.

  "Speaking of behind, I need to get to work," Teagan said nervously, turning away from Luca.

  "I'll let you run away this one last time," Luca said. "Thanks for having lunch with me, darlin'. Let's do it again soon."

  Teagan typed furiously away at her report, trying to focus on work and not on the sexy, rancher turned Navy SEAL, turned private security guru who had her heart pitter-pattering like she had downed several espressos. She had thought he was ridiculously handsome the first time she had seen him. She'd used her badge and credentials to sneak into the campaign headquarters on election night. It had been merely by chance that she had come across Evelyn, having only caught a glimpse of her at an event. Montgomery had come by the department for a promo shoot and had brought Evelyn with him. Teag
an had been on her way out to a call, but seeing her own face on another woman had stopped her in her tracks.

  It had been easy finding her after, on paper anyway. Finding her in person had been something else altogether. It was as if Montgomery was hiding her up in a tower somewhere. Getting her alone was impossible. So, she did the next sensible thing; she hacked her emails. Teagan knew it could get her fired and thrown into jail, but her curiosity, as it often did, took over and she did what she had to in order to meet her sister. When the email came through from Rowena, her heart had stopped. Rowena had been easy to track down. Seeing her, a second woman with the same face, was surreal. In fact, it had been such an emotional hit, Teagan had taken her first sick day in four years.

  Meeting them at the café was something else altogether. It hadn't been all rainbows and sunshine since they had met. In fact, there had been some very real drama, like the night Evie slapped Ro or the car accident. But, they had developed a friendship of sorts, and now, even after such a short period, Teagan couldn't imagine not having them in her life. Even if she wanted to strangle Ro for setting her up with Luca today. Speaking of her interfering sister, she should text her.

  I hope you can't sit for a month of Sundays, Teagan texted Ro. She put her phone next to her keyboard, continuing to write her report until a vibrating noise clued her into her sister's response.

  You would wish that on your poor sister? Not nice, Teagan Ann. Besides, it couldn't have been that bad. Luca walked in here smiling like a loon.

  Teagan found herself smiling at that. Luca was smiling. What did that mean, exactly? She was starting to fall for Luca, a feeling she needed to squash. Yet, she couldn't help but dig a bit deeper.

  He's smiling?

  Like the cat that got the canary… You didn't give him the canary, did you? I mean, I knew I was good, but not that good.

  Probably because he knows you're going to get your ass beat. Teagan laughed when the tongue sticking out emoji came through. A loud knock on her door startled her. Dropping her phone on her desk, she turned to see Lt. Downy standing there.

  "Hey, can you do an escort?"

  "Sure, what's up?"

  "I have an emergency placement who needs to head to the Rosenblooms'. We have uniforms out to pick up Dad, but we don't have him in custody yet."

  "Absolutely. How old is the kid?"

  "Eleven, she's in one of the interview rooms with her CPS caseworker."

  "I'll go now; give me five minutes to save my report."

  Teagan followed the caseworker's car to the familiar home of the Rosenblooms. Before finding out they were her sister Ro's adoptive parents, Teagan had dropped several kids off to their care. The normal routine was to follow the caseworker up the driveway and sit in her car while the caseworker dropped off the child. That was before she met Jean. She knew if she didn't get out of the car and give the older woman a hug, she would hear about it later.

  Jean had the eleven-year-old girl embraced tightly in her arms before Teagan had joined them on the porch. "Let me show her to her room, and then I'll be down to talk with you," Jean said over her shoulder as she walked the girl into the house.

  "Come on in. Want a cup of tea?" Mark motioned Teagan and the caseworker through the door. While Mark signed the papers and spoke with the caseworker, Teagan walked aimlessly around the living room. She looked at the family photos hanging on the walls. They were everywhere. There didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason for how they were hung, driving Teagan nuts.

  Seeing little Rowena smiling back at her sent a bittersweet feeling through Teagan. She was happy for Ro and all the beautiful memories she had made growing up, but she was a bit jealous and a little bitter. Teagan didn't have a single photograph of her childhood. None of her foster parents thought to take any of her, and if they did, she wasn't given the photos when she moved on to other homes. No, her childhood wasn't photographed, and maybe that was for the best. Teagan had enough baggage to fill her nightmares and memories; she didn't need physical evidence of the trauma.

  "Teagan," Jean said, coming into the room. "Come give me a hug, child." Teagan knew she had no choice. Both Ro and Jean had an annoying habit of not respecting personal space and hugging people, whether they wanted one or not.

  "Hi, Jean," Teagan said, turning to embrace the older woman.

  "One day, you will call me Mom."

  "That's what you keep telling me."

  "That's what I know," she responded, breaking the hug and going to sit on the couch. Teagan wondered, not for the first time, at Jean's confidence. "Now, come sit next to me and tell me why you are so conflicted."

  "How do you do that?" Teagan marveled.

  "Do what?"

  "Know things."

  "Intuition. When you are one with the 'Mother', you are more aware." Jean patted the couch again. Sighing, Teagan went and sat next to her. "Now, tell me why you won't do as I told you and let Luca love you."

  "Damn," Teagan muttered. She really got to the heart of the issue quickly, didn't she?

  "Spill." The command was one word, but in reality, it was everything to Teagan. Spill, she did. She confessed her fear that Luca was out of her league. Why would a handsome, successful man want an orphaned, plain jane? She told Jean all about her insecurities and how she didn't know how to love or how to trust that Luca wouldn't hurt her.

  "Don't ever be afraid to fall in love," Jean said, wiping the tears from Teagan's cheeks with the pad of her thumb. "It isn't falling you're afraid of; it is the fear of rejection. Right? It's the fear of him hurting you?"

  "Yes. Everyone leaves me. I've never really been worthy of love, of sticking around for."

  "Teagan, you are worthy of love. You're worthy of everything good and right in this life. It wasn't you who wasn't worth it, sweet girl. It was those who left you who didn't deserve you. They lost out on the treasure you are. They have an emptiness where brightness could be. It was never about you. As a child, you have no control over what adults choose. Let me ask this. Do you think Ro or Evie are worthy of love?"

  "Of course!" There was not a single second of hesitation from Teagan.

  "Did your parents not abandon them as well? Yet, you didn't hesitate to say that they are worthy of love."

  "Yes, but Ro had you, and Evie had her parents."

  "Adult choices do not equate to lovability. You have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. You are worthy, sweetheart. You are so worthy. Let them love you. Let Ro and Evie teach you about family, and we are here for you, too. Luca is a good man, a strong man. We have known him for a very long time, ever since Ro met Octavius." Jean patted Teagan's hand. "I wouldn't steer you wrong. He has already fallen for you. All you need to do is let him love you. Teagan, if you surrender to him, if you let him lead you, I truly believe you will be the happiest you have ever been."

  "But what if—"

  "If he leaves you? If he breaks your heart? What if he doesn't?"

  "I didn't think about it that way."

  "You don't have to face this world alone. Let him in, and let him help heal your heart. You are worthy of his love, and he is a good one. He won't hurt you."

  "How do you know that? How do you know he won't hurt me?"

  "I know; trust me."

  Teagan wanted to; she really did.

  Chapter 4

  All Teagan could think about the next day, was Luca. She replayed the kiss over and over in her thoughts. Work had been slow, which she was thankful for. Slow meant less victims. Having caught up on all of her casework, Teagan had thrown herself into rewriting some of her worksheets for the classes she voluntarily taught when her vibrating phone caught her attention.

  Today, is Taco Tuesday. Tacos at my place? Men on mission. Just us, wear pajamas. Ro's text came through, and Teagan smiled. Some things were routine in Ro's life, while others were flighty and chaotic. Ro loved her tacos, and they were damn good.

  I'm in, but this better not be another setup. If I show up in yoga pants and Luca is th
ere, I'm going to shoot someone.

  I really wish you would stop threatening to shoot people, Tea. Teagan could hear Ro saying those very words.

  Would you prefer I promise instead of threat? Tea shot the response.

  Now you sound like a spank happy man… my eyes are rolling so hard, I think they have left the house. See you tonight. Teagan laughed at Ro's response.

  After work, Teagan returned to her townhouse and got ready for dinner with Ro. Happily removing her work clothes, she wondered if Ro was up to no good and trying to set her and Luca up again. Just in case, she donned her best pair of butt molding yoga pants, a comfy but fashionable top, and swiped a layer of mascara on. It was cold and getting colder by the moment, so layers were a must. Sitting on the edge of the couch, she pulled on her boots before grabbing her winter coat from the closet.

  When she arrived at Ro and Octavius' house, Teagan rang the doorbell. Throwing the door open, Ro planted a hand on her hip. "Why are you ringing my doorbell?"

  "Um, because that is what normal people do when they arrive at someone's house."

  "I'm not a someone," Ro said, poking Teagan in the chest with one finger. "I'm your sister. You never have to ring the doorbell."

  "With all that kinky stuff you and Oct are into, I don't think I should just be coming in." Both women laughed.

  "Okay, point taken. Let me rephrase that. When I know that you're coming over, walk in. If you drop in unannounced, ring the doorbell, and then drive around the block a few times to give me a chance to quit blushing. Better?"

  "Yes. Now, are you going to let me in or what?" Teagan glanced at the dining room table as they walked into the kitchen. Good; it wasn't set. Maybe it would just be the two of them. When she saw just two plates next to the stove, she relaxed some.

  "I told you to come comfortably and that is what you wear?" Ro frowned at her.

  Teagan took a good look at her sister. In a long, oversized shirt that had to be Oct’s and a tiny pair of booty shorts, Ro was the definition of comfortable.