I pull Grey outside. It’s too hot and packed and intense inside of the house. Once we’re in the backyard, I shove at Grey again, because that’s all I can do at the moment. My movements and words are slow, the shots I did earlier catching up to me like molasses.
“What the hell, Liv?” He flares his eyes at me.
“Do not what the hell me. I saw you leave that room after Diana.” I point a finger at him, barely able to stay calm.
His cheeks pale, and he shrugs. “So?”
“So?” I push him back. “So I know what you did in there with her!”
He narrows his eyes at me and takes an aggressive step forward. “What the hell do you think I did with her?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I gesture to his red-ringed eyes. “You did drugs. I saw the smoke billowing out of the room.” I knew that bitch Diana made it sound like they did something sexual on purpose, but I saw straight through her bullshit. Plus, why would Grey go to her when he has me?
He laughs incredulously, eyes wide. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, actually.” I cross my arms, annoyed. “I hate how you are when you’re high. And how you practically ran to it the minute your mother was brought up. See, you’re doing it right now. Craving something that doesn’t make it go away, just makes you an asshole. Like when you beat up a friend of mine for no damn reason!”
“No reason? He had his hand on you!” he shouts at me like a mad-man.
“He was trying to console me after I found you leaving a room with the whore of the century!”
“There was no consoling needed, especially by a fucking guy!”
Great. Now we’re just yelling at each other.
“Enjoy a splash!” some guy screams like a banshee as he runs at us full-speed. Before we can question him, he pushes at us and we’re in the air. I gasp and quickly hold my breath before we hit the pool beside us. The water vibrates as laughs boom around on the surface. I kick and wiggle around, trying to get to the surface. Grey swims over to me and loops an arm around me, pulling us both to the surface by kicking his legs and moving his other arm.
We both gasp for air as we reach the top. He drags us over to the shallow end, which should be pretty damn difficult with one good working hand. So I kick and try with my all might to help him along. He smiles at me for a second before he becomes angry again.
“Where…the fuck…is that fucker? I am going to kill him!” Grey slaps his good hand against the tile surrounding the pool. Everyone’s eyes widen, and some scurry away. He nudges me to the wall, and I burst into laughter before he can pull himself out. “He got my fucking cast wet!”
He looks back at me, eyes large and red, and foam practically spilling out of his snarled mouth. He snaps, “Why are you laughing?”
“B-because that was h-hilarious.” I wipe away some laughter tears, and he looks at me like I just told him he should wear khakis. That’s right, Olivia. Laugh off the cold, cold pain. This water is freaking freezing!
“How was that hilarious?” he questions.
I shrug and pull at his soaking jacket and giggle quietly as I brush his wet hair back. “It just was. We were arguing about bullshit, then some guy wearing underwear on his head pushed us in a pool. Like the universe was telling us to shut the fuck up and stop arguing.”
“I want to fucking kill the universe,” he spits.
“He did ruin my dress.” I pout and look down at my dress that’s floated to the top. I play with the fabric and slowly smile, coming up with an idea. “But who cares? There’s always a chance to have it dry-cleaned. Let’s show the universe we’re good either way, and have fun? Hmm?”
He just lifts a puzzled eyebrow. “How many weed brownies have you eaten?”
“About ten Jell-O shots.” I shrug and peel my dress off my body.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He lunges for the dress, but I’ve already thrown it over his head, to the other side of the tile surrounding the pool. “Are you fucking crazy?” He looks at me, and I laugh.
“Maybe. Why don’t you come and find out?” I bend my knees and push backward after taking off my flats. I giggle and watch as he stares at me for a second, thinking. But then I hear him murmur, “Fuck it,” and he takes off his jacket and jeans and boots. I giggle and wiggle around, trying to get away from him as he playfully swims toward me, half of his head underwater, the other watching me with wide eyes like a hungry alligator ready to gobble me up.
“Well, isn’t this just the cutest thing?” Jaimie coos, watching us with a creepy but enchanting smile.
“Why’d you say anything?” Julia hisses, dropping my dress. Was she seriously about to steal our clothes?
“Come on in. The water’s amazing,” I say just as Grey grabs me and kisses my neck. “Grey!” I scream and stand up, looping my arms around his shoulders. He laughs and grazes his teeth along my throat, closing his eyes and moving forward as two loud splashes sound behind him.
Grey and I kiss, we joke, he chases me, we float, we show the universe that stupid little things can’t drive us apart. We’ve overcome too much to let something that small interfere with our love. The girls splash us, we play chicken, we laugh, we hold breathing contests.
This. How could I ever leave…this?
Chapter Sixteen
There is no better feeling in the world than waking up to Grey’s face. All hard bones and soft lips and mierdas when the sunlight hits him. The way he curses is exquisite and humorous in itself; sometimes I leave a crack in the curtains just to hear it. He can be such an angry man, even in sleep. But then he’d always do the same thing to make those hard bones and soft lips turn into mush, mierdas turned into princesas. He’d pull me into his chest.
I became his security blanket, the lullaby to the big bad fighter who was so angry. I became his serenity, and he became my rock. My savior. Saving me from a life full of plans and loneliness and night terrors. He saved me from myself, and I can’t thank him enough. I can only display my appreciation in devotion and at being his side, which is where I want to be. Never parted from this man. I sound like such a sap, but I can’t help that I am happy. Honestly, truly, and completely happy.
He’s changed me so much, as I have changed him. If you were to tell me that I would be waking up to this face, to this man a year ago, I would have called you insane. I would have turned away in fear of you telling the truth. But not because I was so determined to get through school without distractions from my ridiculous plan, but because I was terrified of falling so utterly, deeply in love with someone who was meant to be wrong for me.
Grey came out of nowhere and messed everything up, but for the better. He made me better. Tore me up and chewed me out every once in a while, but love does that to a person. You go in one way and come out totally different. Love is like baking. Eggs, flour, sugar crunched and heated up with passion, and you have a new person that doesn’t just see the ingredients and instructions.
Swiping away random tears from under my eyes, I sit up. I brush back a stray hair falling from my messy bun and rub my thumb against his cheek. A light scar stares at me, warning me to get away. But I lean down and defy against its pleas, kissing its host’s lips. Soft and warm and pressed into a smile.
“Is this what you do when I’m asleep, creep?” he murmurs, hands shooting out to hold my hips. I blush, caught, and pull away. He tugs at me, pulling me onto his lap. “I didn’t say to stop, did I?” He raises his eyebrows, black eyes challenging and smile mocking. I roll my eyes but lean down and attach my lips to his.
A spark of flame clings to his tongue, and I willingly set myself on fire. I remember when it first coughed to life, the first time our mouths touched. I was so scared and mad at him. He’d just hurt someone I thought cared about me. I hadn’t expected it, hadn’t expected him to want me as much as I discreetly wanted him. He tasted like beer and cigarettes and dark chocolate and danger and something I should stay away from. He was cruel and bad, but I fell into his arms. In them
is where I will want to reside, never to be parted. Ever.
“I think I have it bad for you, Grey Wyler,” I whisper as I pull away. I catch his unrelenting smug smirk before placing swift and tender kisses along his neck.
“You think?” He sighs and glides his large hands underneath my shirt that happens to be his. “I’m not surprised.” He deftly pushes my shoulder and pins my hands above my head. I gasp and bite my lip in anticipation. “I’ve heard I’m pretty fucking addicting.”
“From who?” I narrow my eyes and his smirk grows tenfold.
“Don’t blow your top. Heard it from a little birdie named Liv.”
I hum, pulling him down and lightly biting his lower lip. “That better be the case.”
“Trust me.” He bites me back, just under my chin. I hiss and clasp my legs around his back. I love being this close to him. Our teasing. His bites, his kisses. My openness to him, all of me. It’s the most blissful thing in the world. “You are the only one for me, babe. Forever—”
“And always,” I finish for him, my heart tightening and tying itself in a cute heart-shaped bowtie. I love our little phrase. Our world we’ve built for ourselves. I don’t want to pop this bubble. I don’t want to get up, squeeze my feet in heels, put on a tight skirt, and drive into the city. I just want him…and the thought sends chills up and down my spine and across my chest. Tightening. Pressure.
“What are you thinking?” He frowns and nudges my nose with his.
“You,” I admit.
“I am a memorable guy.”
“You’re too cocky.”
“I have enough cock for you.” He winks at me like the sultry, seductive man he is.
I burst into laughter. Pure and uncontrollable laughter. Until I can’t see anymore and feel my abs constricting like crazy. I love this man so much, and his sexual jokes and comments and the stupid wiggle of his eyebrows he does whenever he catches me staring. I pretend to be grossed out by them, but I bottle every one in a special jar to savor for later. “You are unbelievable.”
“Believe me.” He brushes a hair out of my eyes, his own soaked with too much emotion for me to process. I have to look at his lips to avoid them and their intent of suffocating me. He dips his head, so I am forced to look into his eyes—his vicious black eyes. “I have enough to go around for you.”
“Oh, do you?” I tease, raising a brow.
“Mmhm, and you know I do.” He hovers his lips above mine, brushing and teasing. I bite my lip and grip his hair, eliciting a delicious groan from his mouth.
“Can I get some now?” I whisper.
He shrugs. “Only if you say please…”
“Fuck you.” I push against his shoulder, and he chuckles darkly, sucking on his bottom lip. He’s enjoying this…my blushing and obvious desire for him. But I am not saying please.
“No, you won’t get the pleasure.” He taps my nose, and I swat it away. His annoying chuckle turns into full-on laughter, and I pull myself up to sit against the headboard.
“I don’t want to go to the program. Work thing. Whatever. I’m tired, and I want pancakes,” I whine suddenly, and he lifts a questioning eyebrow. I’ve never not wanted to go to the internship. It’s all I’ve wanted and have been talking about practically 24/7, but now, all I want is him…and some pancakes. But from IHOP. He’d just burn them. I promise I’ll teach him how to cook in the future.
“Olivia Renee Westerfield doesn’t want to go to the internship. The program?” he gasps and smacks a hand to his bare chest.
“Shut up!” I push against his chest, and he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me into him. I roll my eyes as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his warm body. Despite his mocking, I melt into his tight embrace. I lay my head against his chest and sigh. “I just…it doesn’t entice me as much as you do.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while, which makes me worried, so I pull my head back and look up. He’s staring at me, lips sucked in his mouth and a frown curved into his forehead. “But it’s always been your dream.”
I shake my head, nod, then sigh in frustration. “Being a psychologist has always been my dream. Not the program itself. I’m just wondering if it’s for me right now.” I look away from him. I’m not able to. My stomach feels heavy. I feel guilty. I have ruined us for the program. Now I’m saying it doesn’t have my utmost attention. What’s happening to me? Why are my priorities constantly changing? I was once angry at him for switching his moods sporadically, but here I am now doing the same thing.
He tips my head back, swiping his tongue between his lips. “Why are you giving up on me?”
I shrug, feeling tears build in my chest. I sit down and rub it, frantically pushing hair behind my ears. He sits down in front of me, holding my hands. “I just have a really bad feeling. I don’t know what it is. But it’s like…it broke us apart once and—and it’s just scaring me again, for some reason. What if I’m not even meant to be a psychologist? I couldn’t even get myself together when we broke up. I was a complete fucking mess.”
He rubs his thumbs against my cheeks, and they glisten as I glance at his fingers. I didn’t even realize I’d begun to cry. “Do not do this—give up on yourself, doubt yourself. You are the best psychologist I know. Wanna know how I know? Because you’re with me. You fixed me. I was more fucked up than you, and I’m talking about before I met you. I was the worst of the fucking worst…but look at me now. Wiping away the girl I love’s tears. Before you, I fought to live. But for you, I’d fight to fucking kill. And I’m not kidding. You have me and my support. Let me support you now. Let me be here for you.”
I nod shakily, unable to control the emotions ripping me apart. I begin laughing.
“What’s funny?” he asks, eyeing me for a sign that I’ve officially lost my mind.
“Nothing. Just…I’m pretty sure my period’s here now. Better late than sorry, I guess.” I chuckle and feel myself grow hot under his touch. I slowly raise my eyes, and he’s smiling. “Thank you, Grey. I didn’t know what it was like to care so much for another person, you’d kill for them.” I smile. He rolls his eyes, gently punching my shoulder. I quickly huff out and tell him, “I’m glad you broke into my dorm that day, being the freaking creep you were.”
“Not a creep…maybe, a little.” He shrugs and looks at me contemplatively, brows furrowed. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.” I nod unsurely, eyes squinted.
“I saw you before the dorm,” he says.
“What?” I feel my heart skip a beat, confused. “When?” I hadn’t gone out before I’d fallen asleep and woke up to him watching me from Julia’s bed.
He licks his lips and coughs in an attempt to distract me from seeing the pink creeping under his skin. “On campus. I was just lounging around, smoking some cigs, bored out of my fucking mind. I was under a tree. I remember ’cause leaves kept fucking falling on me.” He rolls his eyes, and I giggle. “Anyway, I saw it before it happened. A dumbass frat boy had a weak-ass arm and almost hit you in the face with a football.”
“Oh my…I didn’t know that.” I stare into his eyes and try to picture the scene. Me, fresh out of the house I’d spent my entire life in, like a caged princess, and him, watching me from underneath a tree, eyeing me like a big bad wolf. Little Red Riding Hood roaming the unknown land while two big black eyes were watching her…it’s almost too uncanny.
“Yep.” He smirks at me, eyes widening. “I was a little stunned. You just…you were so pretty.” He looks up to the ceiling for a moment, and his tongue comes out to play. I smile and trace my finger against his cheek. “You dropped something. I don’t think you even noticed.”
“What was it?” I ask, voice soft in intrigue.
“Your dorm room number on your info shit you get at the front desk,” he says. “I remembered it was where Julia stayed the year before. So I went over and…the rest’s history.”
I shake my head no, laying my forehead against his lips. He kisses
me tenderly, and I just know his eyes are closed like mine. Savoring the moment, our connection. We have been through hell and back, and we’re finally at the point where we can just…be.
“I love you, Grey Wyler,” I whisper.
“I know,” he breathes, his lips turning up in a rueful smirk.
I pinch his stomach. “Don’t be a—”
His lips are on mine. They are electric. “I love you, Olivia Westerfield.”
Chapter Seventeen
I ended up going to the program. I chalked up my sudden doubt and fears to my upcoming period. I always, and I mean always, am emotional before it hits me. Not one cycle passes me that I don’t shed some kind of tear. Angry, happy, and sullen tears—I hold them all in me, and they mainly only come out during that time of the month.
Though it’s taking a while to get here this time…doesn’t mean I’m not still experiencing the normal symptoms. Bloating, mood swings, tender breasts. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was pregnant. But I know that’s close to impossible, being on the pill and everything. I just wish periods could only be one day. I get it, uterus, you’re mad I’m not knocked up, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish me for taking things one step at a time.
To be honest, ever since that night in New York when Grey confessed why he didn’t want marriage and children, I’ve found the desire for them slowly dwindle. For the moment, of course. It just hit me—I am so incredibly young. I’ve barely begun my career, I’m still in school for two more years, and I’m not ready. Even though he’s three years older than me, Grey would most likely trip over the baby and drop him/her. Neither one of us is ready, and I’m okay with it.
I’m just happy with him.
Maybe just him, minus the two other components…I’m strangely okay with it.
I smile, proud of myself. I think I’ve grown a little since meeting him. I was so focused on the bigger picture. Family. Career. But not love. But he changed everything. He’s made me see the bigger, clearer picture. It’s of him and me and something I thought I’d never find…
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