Red Racer

by Marie Brown

  The vid showed the new cityplex constructed by the Order. Gone was the squalor of before, replaced by shining clean walls and corridors, filled with quiet, obedient people. Kief ground his teeth and wished they'd get on with it.

  The vid ended, with the next one starting immediately afterwards. "Your Responsibility to the Order," announced the overloud voice.

  Kief fumed inwardly through the vid. Somehow, this one always managed to infuriate him, and had ever since he'd discovered the vid cubicles were geared solely towards conditioning. At least it wasn't truly effective when the subject knew it was happening and actively resisted it. He ignored the words, although not the too-loud noise itself, tuning out its droning commentary on how a proper citizen of the Order should act in his daily life. Instead, he wondered if he would see Ry again. He hoped so. Not like he'd ever had a real relationship before, beyond grabbing a quickie with the occasional interested guy, but Ry would definitely be a nice one to start with. He wondered if it would get better, if having sex more than once with the same person would get boring, or if it would let them learn better what the other liked. Then he almost laughed aloud at himself, plotting out future encounters with someone he'd only barely met. But he couldn't help it. Ry fascinated him, and Kief really wanted to get to know him better.

  Finally, the vid ended. Kief rose and stretched, rubbing his numb behind, and tried to put a properly conditioned look on his face. Then he went out of the cubicle, nodded to the Eye, and went home to change out of his work coverall before heading for the rec facility and his dinner.

  "Huh, where you been, Kief?" Cole greeted him as soon as he approached.

  "Got nabbed by an Eye," he grumbled. "Wasn't walking right, or something like that." He sat down and entered his order into the barcomp.

  "Shame shame," Cole teased, punching him lightly on the arm. "Someone was here looking for you."

  "Oh?" Kief felt his heart lurch into his throat.

  "Yeah. Same guy you went off with last night. Do I want to know?" Cole raised an eyebrow.

  "Huh. No, that you don't." Kief sighed. "Was he going to be back?"

  "That good, eh?" Cole grinned at him. "Said he won't be back. Busy until next Friday, but he'll clear things up and fix that soon, whatever that's supposed to mean."

  Kief grinned. "Sounds good to me." His food arrived then, delivered by the rolling barbot. He groaned. "They got it wrong again, zip them all. Look, does this look like a burger to you?"

  "Nope. Looks like you got the synthetic sandwich again, just like the rest of us."

  "Oh well. I'm too hungry to care." Kief tore into his meal, hoping the Eye in the corner hadn't noticed his earlier excitement. He could hardly believe Ry had been looking for him.

  A week, though. Would he make it?

  Chapter 3

  He did. Barely, with two write-ups and another reprimand, but Kief made it through the week. Friday evening found him in the rec facility, perched on a barstool and sipping at his synthetic drink, full of nutrients and guaranteed not to get anyone drunk ever. He tried to keep from looking around too obviously, but couldn't help it. Cole wasn't there. He'd found a girl that was willing to go on a nice legal date, which might even lead to something more later on. Even Vidder was elsewhere, doing ancestors only knew what. So he looked, searching faces anxiously, until he caught the Eye staring at him. Then he glued his eyes to his glass, fiddling with it and trying to keep himself occupied.

  "Is this seat taken?"

  "It is now," Kief said, looking up with a smile. Ry slid onto the stool beside him, looking far better in the flesh than as a dream.

  "I missed you last week." The casual tone said one thing, but the dark tint to his eyes indicated that the words had more than one meaning. Kief swallowed hard.

  "Me too. I mean, I missed you by a few minutes, here." His tongue felt tied in a knot. "Got your message, though."

  "Good." Ry smiled. "Your friend seems like a nice person. Where's he at tonight?"

  "Cole? He's gone to the vidhouse with a girl." Kief realized that he was staring again, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Ry. He was so much better in person than in memory, with all the little details he'd almost forgotten plain to see. Like the way his eyes crinkled around the edges as if he was about to smile, and the way his hair tried to be wavy, even in the short cut required by law. . . not to mention the almost magnetic attraction nearly visible between the two of them.

  "Too bad." Another double meaning. Kief chuckled. "Got plans?"

  "Nope. Any ideas?"

  Please say yes, please say yes!

  Ry smiled slowly. "Arcade?"

  "Huh?" Kief blinked. "I mean, sure."

  Ry smiled. The look in his eyes promised more private fun later. "Come on, then. Bet you can't beat me at Tiles."

  "Bet I can." Kief followed Ry across the rec facility to the side room which housed the few electronic games deemed morally acceptable by the Order. The Eye watched them all the way across the floor.

  "Oops," Ry said loudly. "Looks like the game's full. We'll just have to wait."

  Kief shot him a puzzled glance. Ry winked at him. What are you up to, you sneaky man?

  Ry made a slight motion towards the ceiling. The electronic Eye panned from side to side slowly. "C'mere, found a seat."

  He led the way again, around the gamers to a bench along the wall. Situated in an awkward spot between games, not quite in the corner, the bench was out of the Eye's view.

  "Holy shit, man," Kief whispered. "You did it again! It can't spot us here, can it."

  "You've got it." Ry grinned. "We've got cover until the game frees up."

  "Amazing." Kief glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then ran a hand lightly along Ry's thigh. "I really did miss you, you know. What did you do to me that night?"

  "Shh," Ry breathed, leaning in closer. "They can still hear a mouse fart at thirty paces. Wait till the games are making noise."

  "How do you know all this, anyway?" Kief dropped his voice until it was barely above a whisper.

  "I told you, you don't really want to know just yet. As for what I did to you. . ." He chuckled. "That was nothing compared to what I've been wanting to do to you all week. And besides, I seem to remember you did your share of doing as well."

  Kief felt a grin creeping across his face. "Yeah. More? Soon?"

  "Insatiable."

  "You got it." Kief checked the games. "Hey, Tiles is still full, but FlipIt is open. You game?"

  "Huh. FlipIt, eh? You sure you want to play with someone as devious as me?"

  "Of course I want to play with you, Ry," Kief said, all wide-eyed innocence. Ry nearly choked, trying not to laugh indecently loud.

  "Come on, then, and play with me," he gasped, standing up.

  Kief quickly checked for observers, then reached up and pinched lightly at Ry's rear. "Anything you say," he said innocently, when Ry spun around, sputtering. Kief grinned and rose, starting for the game.

  "Oh, zip you, Kief. I'm going to play your pants off, and you know it."

  Kief couldn't help licking his lips in anticipation. "Go ahead and blow me away, then."

  Ry couldn't respond to that one. Kief snickered as Ry turned a very deep shade of red and sputtered helplessly.

  "Your choice, friend," he said politely, indicating the game. "Red or blue? Personally, I think red looks quite well on you."

  "Zip you," Ry gasped, around another batch of near-hysterical giggles. "I'm dying here, can't you see that? Any minute now, they'll be on me for having too much fun in public, or something."

  "Huh. Okay, okay, I'll behave. Now will you choose already?"

  Ry stepped up to the game and selected red, giving him control of the board. Kief groaned when he saw the layout Ry chose: an open diamond in the center. He hated that layout. Somehow, he always ended up getting defeated most humiliatingly on that one.

  "I choose you," Ry whispered in his ear, when he mo
ved in to make his first move. Kief twitched, causing the controller to move to the wrong square, leaving him with one out of place splotch instead of the two side by side he'd wanted in the corner.

  "You lousy zip," he muttered, but couldn't keep a grin from spreading across his face no matter how hard he tried.

  * * * *

  Later, much later, they lay twined together in a tangle of sweaty limbs. Kief stroked Ry's hair idly, enjoying the texture of the waves.

  "Do you believe in love at first sight?" Ry asked.

  "Huh. Never really thought about it. Might just as well ask if I believe in love, period."

  "Okay, then." A laugh lurked just under the surface of the words. "Do you believe in love?"

  Kief pushed himself into a semi-upright position, looking down at Ry. Hazel eyes, dark in the dim candlelight but still shining with an inner brilliance, blinked up at him. "I probably wouldn't know love if it bit me," he admitted. Then he leaned down and kissed Ry. "Honest lust, now, that I believe in."

  The laugh bubbled free. "It's lust you're after, then? Well, I've got plenty of that to go around."

  But the question sunk down into Kief's mind, past all his barriers and defenses and wariness, and nagged at him. "So, do you believe in love?"

  "Of course," Ry replied. "Love is what makes life worth living. Or at least it will, if I ever find it."

  Kief felt an unexpected pang at that. "Huh."

  "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing. Just. . . huh." Kief struggled to put what he was feeling into words that didn't scare him or reek of commitment. "Don't look too hard, hey?"

  "I won't," Ry promised solemnly.

  "I never did this before," Kief said abruptly.

  "What's that?"

  "Seen someone more than once. You know, not safe, and all."

  "Huh." Ry snuggled closer. "Good, then."

  "Good?"

  "That you're willing to see me again. That's very good."

  "Willing?" Kief laughed. "You're all I could think about. Got in trouble for it, too, 'cause I couldn't keep my mind on being a good little person."

  "Huh. Same here. Got to fix that, huh?"

  "Yeah, somehow."

  "I'll tell you how," Ry whispered, in a suggestive tone. Kief chuckled.

  "How, then? Let's hear it."

  "See more of each other. Do this way more often."

  "Huh." Kief smiled. "Good idea. How and when?"

  "How? Any way you want it."

  "And I thought I had a dirty mind. I meant, how you want to go about seeing more of each other?"

  "I'm cleared now on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. You?"

  "I'm all yours." A tiny thrill of fear ran down Kief's spine, warning him that those words meant danger. He ignored it.

  "I can hope," Ry whispered. Then he silenced Kief's unspoken question with a demanding kiss.

  Chapter 4

  Sunday morning found Kief outside the perimeter, as usual. He wondered what Ry would say if he knew the identity of the Red Racer. Run for the nearest Eye and report him? Nah, not with his secret place to protect. Oh well, time enough to worry about that later, if there was a later. For now, he needed to worry about himself. Something must have gone wrong in his head. Why did he want so badly for there to be a "later"? Huh. Just what he needed, a commitment. And a dangerous one, at that. Commitments were for men and women who planned to stay together forever, legal in the eyes of the Order, free to hold hands in public. Men never did such things. They just had fun with each other, snatched in rare moments when the Eyes weren't watching, secure in the knowledge that no man could get pregnant so they'd never get caught that way. Huh. Maybe his uncle would give him some advice.

  * * * *

  This time, the signal from the electronic Eye was noticed right away and an aircar was dispatched immediately. Eyes watched tensely from the perimeter Watchstation as the aircar set an intercept course for the Red Racer. But the antisocialite evaded the Enforcers in the aircar with contemptuous ease, leaving the giant stranded by the edge of a river spanned by a narrow bridge.

  Somewhere in the Watchroom, someone swore. Eyes looked at each other suspiciously, but no one admitted to the profanity.

  "Well, gentlemen," the head of the Watch said, "looks like the Racer stays free again."

  The Eye that spotted the initial contact spoke up. "We'll get him. No doubt about that, we'll get him."

  * * * *

  "Uncle Robert," Kief asked that evening, sitting in front of the crackling flames in the fireplace, "what's love?"

  "Eh, you don't believe in asking the easy ones, do you, boy?"

  Kief snuck a look at him to see if he minded the question. His uncle was a million miles away, smiling faintly.

  "Love's a question never answered," Robert murmured.

  "Huh?" Kief blinked.

  "Just something I heard once, not sure where. Love, eh?" Robert sighed. "It's probably the best thing in the world. And I'd say it's the greatest crime of the Order that they've tried to eradicate love."

  "It's more than just sex, isn't it." Kief leaned forward and grabbed the poker, stirring up the fire.

  "Yes, boy. It's more than sex. It's. . . giving yourself to another person, belonging to them and liking it, doing anything just to make that person smile. . ."

  "Were you ever in love?"

  Robert smiled. "Yes. I loved my wife with all my heart. But she passed on before the wars, bless her soul. I'm grateful every day that she never had to see the world as it's become now."

  "Huh." Kief thought about that for a minute. The wars had started over sixty five years ago. Love was so strong that it could reach across that many years and still affect an old man, bringing tears to his eyes as he thought of his long-dead wife. . . huh. "Tell me about before the wars again?"

  "Life was different then," his uncle started, the same as he always did. He surreptitiously wiped his eyes. "This house sat on a working farm. We grew wheat, corn, and barley. . ."

  Kief sat by the fire and dreamed, letting his uncle's words reconstruct a long gone world in his mind's eye. But the question of love still refused to go away.

  Chapter 5

  The season wore on, not that the captive cityplex dwellers knew it. The wild countryside away from the perimeter chilled and darkened as the days progressed towards winter, bringing cold crisp nights and brilliant falling leaves.

  Inside the cityplex, Kief wished he could share the days outside with Ry. He was beyond feeling scared now. All he wanted now was to be with Ry, to share everything with him. He wasn't sure if it was love he felt or not, but whatever it was felt good. And Ry felt it too, he could tell. The emotion shining in his eyes when they were together might be nameless, but it was strong.

  Kief hurried down the corridor towards the rec facility on a Friday night, running later than usual. He'd gotten tagged yet again for inappropriate behavior. Swearing at work, this time. He'd been set to degreasing the engine room floor, supposedly to make him think before he spoke. In reality, all the mindless labor did was make him swear all the more inventively in the privacy of his own head. If he missed Ry. . .

  The Eye caught him inside the rec facility, too.

  "Slow it, turbo," the Eye said, lifting his link to call in the infraction. "What's the rush?"

  "He was trying to keep his word to meet me," Ry said, appearing from nowhere.

  Kief shot a startled glance at him, both grateful and appalled. Did he want to get reported too? "Yeah, I was."

  "Oh." The Eye hesitated, then set the link back down without completing the report. "No harm done, I guess. Just be more considerate in the future."

  "Okay," Kief called over his shoulder, as Ry tugged him out of the room.

  "Hope you weren't wanting to stay," Ry said softly, out in the corridor.

  "Not particularly. I was just trying to get to you."

  "Good." Ry lead the way quickly through the scant
traffic of the corridor. "Where were you?"

  "Got caught swearing at work. Sorry."

  Ry laughed.

  "Hey! It isn't funny!" Kief watched nervously for any sign of people while Ry pressed the hidden catches of the service access door. Then it was open, and they were safely inside. "I thought you'd give up waiting on me," he said, voice shaking with emotion, then wrapped his arms around Ry and buried his face in the other man's neck.

  "I would never give up on you," Ry replied, just as intensely. "I—"

  "You what?"

  "Nothing. Come on, we're still not entirely safe."

  They raced each other for the hideout. Kief felt giddy with relief. Not only had Ry waited for him, but somehow he'd gotten off yet another report. This was shaping up to be a great evening.

  I love you, he thought, trying the words on for size. Still utterly terrifying, but definitely a concept worth exploring.

  Chapter 6

  The red car slewed to a halt, kicking up a tail of dust and barely avoiding impact with the front of the gleaming silver aircar. For a moment, nothing happened. Then the shield lowered on the aircar, allowing its occupants their first clear look at the elusive Red Racer.

  Kief stared up at the Enforcers defiantly. They might have him, but he still had his pride. Then he got a good look at the pilot and his heart froze in his chest. Brown eyes locked with wide and startled hazel for a long moment.

  Then Ry gave a short, sharp jerk of his head and closed his eyes. A heartbeat later, the aircar let loose an earsplitting shriek and dropped to the ground. Kief gawked at the sight, then hit the gas and sent the car screaming back the way he'd come.