by Wells, Nancy
It just occurred to her that the duchess had made the suggestion to accompany her alone without asking outright. She might not have the sense to read between the lines, but her mother was wise enough to understand the underlying meaning behind the duchess’ words.
“Come with me, Lady Isabella,” the duchess said pleasantly, offering her an elbow.
She looked around one last time, hoping to see a glimpse of the man who she already knew was not there. She knew she would not find him amidst the crowd, yet she was immensely disappointed. If the duchess noticed her behavior, she did not comment on it. The duchess showed her the courtesy of feigning ignorance.
“Do you miss him as badly as he misses you?”
She was taken aback by the sudden question and by the fact that she was so engrossed in searching for him that she did not pay attention when the duchess brought her to a secluded place, out of earshot of her mother.
She missed him and was aware that her actions must have hurt him deeply, but it never occurred to her that her conspiracy with Shane would not go as planned. She had intended to force him into hating her, but it never occurred to her that he would still miss her. It made her feel a little guilty, but she was not displeased to hear that he still cared about her.
“Your Grace, surely you are mistaken,” she said, keeping her head high. “I do not miss him.”
She missed him every waking second. If she were to choose between air and his presence, there would be no contest in her choice. He was and would remain until the day she died, the thing that mattered the most in her life.
“My husband told me what Shane asked you.” She looked sharply at Duchess, who rushed to explain. “You are doing a noble deed, Lady Isabella. You are a strong person and I admire what you are doing for him.”
She looked for any sign of malice or mockery on the duchess’ face, but all she found was unconditional empathy and concern. Her sister’s love did not break her, neither did her mother’s support, but for inexplicable reasons, she wanted to cry hysterically before the duchess and tell her about all her feelings. No matter how many times she assured her sister and mother that she was fine, the truth was that she was falling apart.
“Then how come I feel torn asunder,” she said tearfully.
The duchess held her in her arms and let her cry like a babe, holding her head against her shoulder. Isabella had bottled up all her feelings since this morning, but all those pent-up emotions were crushing her with the weight and grief they held.
She lost track of time, but the duchess did not say anything. The duchess was the hostess of the event, yet she did not make her feel like a nuisance or burden.
“He is very possessive about his private space, yet he allowed you into his room. Believe it or not, but he loved you with all his heart. It is not my place to say anything in your private matters, but I feel you should have talked to him directly. I know what it feels like when your life decisions are made by people without your consent. He deserved a little honesty from the only woman who managed to push him into situations which were not in his comfort zone, yet he managed to survive those uncomfortable moments for that woman.”
Her guilt started to crush her. He had shared with her all his fears and worries, yet she made him go through his worst fear alone. She took away his choice from him. Shane and Isabella were both thinking about what was best for him, but he had a right to make those life-altering decisions himself. She was the daughter of someone who broke him a long time ago, but it was not an excuse to trump his heart. She should have confronted him and let him decide for himself. He might have changed his decision about marrying her, but she would have gotten closure.
“There is nothing I can do now,” she said helplessly. “He is gone.”
The duchess averted her eyes for a second, hiding something important from her, then she looked back at her, a look of determination in her eyes. The duchess held her palms in both hands and leaned towards her, sharing an important secret.
“He is still here. He has been watching you like a hawk all night. If you managed to go alone somewhere, I bet he will follow you there too,” the duchess said. “I lied to you in the letter when I conspired with your sister. We all want to see the two of you together.”
Her heart started to beat fast. She had the urge to look around, search for him in the crowd, but if he wanted to be found, she would have seen him the moment she crossed the threshold of the duke’s house. She had looked for him all night but had not seen him anywhere.
She understood the reason for her sister’s behavior this evening. Margaret and the duchess were trying to make them confront one another because they cared for her. She was not alone in this world. Everyone was trying to fight for her love while she hid inside her room like a coward, but all that was going to change now. She would fight for her love too.
“I wish you were there to stop me when I threw his love in his face, Your Grace. I wish I could undo everything that has happened since the birthday party, but I know what is done cannot be undone. All I can do now is try one last time to salvage what we have left.”
Once she had cried to her heart’s content, she wiped her face with her handkerchief. The duchess offered her a weak smile and she returned the gesture with a small smile of her own.
“And, Lady Isabella, remember that you have hurt his pride. He might behave a bit harsh, but deep inside he still loves you. He is not the kind of person who will hurt someone he cares about. He might think he is unlovable, but he is the kindest and sincerest person I have ever met. His devotion to those close to him is not hidden from anyone.”
She was aware of the gravity of her situation. He had put her above everything else and she crushed his heart in mere seconds. He was not aware her decision was for his happiness, but that had been what she aimed for all along. She had managed to break his heart, but in the process, she broke her own heart too. Even at the cost of two breaking hearts, she was still the bad person in his eyes. She was the person who humiliated him before so many witnesses. There were bound to be repercussions for her actions. He had every right to hurt her after what she did to him.
“I understand, Your Grace,” she said. “I am ready to face his wrath and disdain, but it is his rejection I am worried about. If he turns me away, I will be lost.”
It was a momentous point in her life. She had to fight one last time for his affections. Her spirits were high because she saw the many supporters she had. She will endure at his hands, but she will hold on to him for as long as her resolve lasted.
“We are always hurt by the things that are dear to us, but try as we might, we still want them in our life. Do not let him go, Lady Isabella, even if he pushes you to the side. He needs someone fierce in his life who can challenge him, and I see that fire in your eyes. You can change his mind.”
She held her head high and nodded with a new determination in her heart. She was going to try one last time to stop him from leaving her before it became too late and she was left with only regrets. As the duchess had recommended to her, she was going to cling to him for as long as her resolve lasted.
She turned around, leaving the duchess behind and went straight to the one place where he would definitely follow her. She went to his room where only a select few were allowed.
As soon as she entered his territory, she felt him at her back a few seconds later. The sound of the door’s lock bolting into place registered in her mind, but she did not turn around. She kept looking ahead, waiting for him to break the silence.
She was trembling with fear as she felt him at her back. His breath could be felt at her nape and it made her more frightened. She was not afraid of him, but her own traitorous body that was coming alive at his mere presence. Even at a time like this, all she wanted was to be consumed by him.
Grabbing a handful of her hair, he jerked her head back and she winced but did not push him away. He looked into her eyes, wanting to hate her, but the only emotion he was having at that moment was insatiable longing for
her and that made him angry at himself. Even after the hurtful things she had said at the party, he could not loathe her. He was still in love with her. This woman was his weakness.
He took her mouth in a brutal kiss, their teeth clanging together, both of them wanting to devour each other. Their tongues were sparring, aiming to conquer over the other. Their thirst for each other was unparalleled.
She turned in his embrace, wanting to feel him under her hands. Her hands were roaming his body, desperate to feel his skin. She knew it was the last time she would ever get to see him. It was their way of saying farewell to each other.
She was pulling him towards the bed, their mouths still connected, but he had no intention of taking her in his own bed.
“Not there,” he said against her mouth. “You lost that privilege when you threw my heart away.”
She nodded her head, hurt at his words, yet willing to let him have her any way he wanted. She had broken his heart to save him from more pain, but he would never know that. She wished she had not given her word to his brother. She had tried to keep her distance from him, willing to let him go, but now when she had touched him again, her emotions were suffocating her. She wanted to cling to him, wanting to keep him forever.
“Where do you want me?” she asked.
He wanted to hurt her, make her feel like he was feeling. He was breaking inside into a million pieces, yet she stood wholly in front of him. He wanted to throw her on his bed, but he did not want to taint the memory of their time on that bed. They had shared an intimate moment, promising each other their undying love. He wished to preserve that memory and treasure it in his heart for the rest of his life.
“Kneel on all fours. I have no desire to look at your face when I am inside you. I want to picture someone else while your filthy cunny milks my seed.”
He was saying that only to hurt her. There was no other face that he could picture except hers. She was the only woman he had ever loved and would keep on loving until his bones turned into dust, but she would never know that. He refused to give her more power over him.
“As you wish,” she said.
She kneeled on the floor as he had asked her, waiting for his next command. If he wanted to take her like an animal, then she was more than willing to let him do as he wanted because she knew he would never go so far as to hurt her. He was not the kind of person to harm a woman. He was not like her father. He was a good person.
He kneeled behind her on one knee, bunching her skirts at her back. He hesitated for a moment, his heart was not into harming her, but then he recalled the despicable things she had said about him. She had humiliated him before the whole world. She was not deserving of his gentleness.
He ripped her drawers away from her body in a savage move and made her bottom bare to his sight. He instantly became hard when she pushed her bottom in the air, giving him the permission he had not asked for, but wanted to seek anyway.
“I will not show you any mercy,” he warned.
She held back her whimpering as he sank his fingers into the soft flesh of her bottom. He might believe he was hurting her, but it had the opposite effect on her. Even his rough hands were making her gush between her legs, she could feel the wetness trickling down towards her thighs.
“You will not hear me objec—,” she began while opening her legs wide, readying herself for him.
Grabbing her bottom in both hands, he pulled her towards his hardened member and entered in one hard thrust, cutting her words off in mid-sentence. She was wet enough that he slipped inside her smoothly and he groaned. Her smooth and silky feel reminded him of everything he had missed these days. Everything about this woman was special.
“Do you feel that?” he asked savagely.
She groaned partly from pain and partly from the intense feeling of pleasure that ran through her body like lightning. He started thrusting inside her immediately, without giving her time to adjust, but that was exactly what she needed at this time. She wanted to be used by him. Her body was made solely to pleasure him.
Her body reacted faster than she had expected. She was begging him as she felt herself at the edge of her release. He had managed to extract intense pleasure from her body without the stimulation of his mouth or hands.
“More. I need more, Russell,” she yelled.
A few more thrusts and she would be hurtling down the cliff into the pool of bliss. She was on the brink of achieving her destination when a stinging slap to her bottom made her scream in protest. The pleasure was replaced with shock and frustration.
“No,” she whined.
He brought her again to the brink with his hard thrusts and smacked her again, pushing her goal away from her reach.
Tears were flowing freely down her face as he ignored her protests and made her further frustrated by refusing her the release she desperately needed. His hand was heavier than the brush he had used on her bottom. At that moment, she realized that he had smacked her playfully that day, but today he was truly punishing her.
“Beg for it,” he said, smacking her hard. “Beg me for your release.”
She was reluctant to beg him, but he was not relenting until she gave in. He knew she was at the point where even one thrust would make her lose control, but he would not grant her permission until she begged him.
He smacked her again and again with each new thrust until she was reduced to a sobbing mess and accepted defeat.
“Please, please, Russell. Stop tormenting me and let me feel the pleasure.”
He was hanging on by a thread, but his desire to make her suffer was giving him the resolve he needed to prolong this moment. He was making her beg him, but he was not as strong as she believed him to be. He was on the edge of losing his seed inside her, but every time he smacked her bottom and pulled a painful scream from her lips, his body refused to let go inside her. She was not the only one who was suffering at this moment.
“Not good enough, Lady Isabella,” he said, smacking her twice on each globe. “Scream it for the whole world to hear.”
She was past the point where she gave a damn about anyone else. He was stripping her of her dignity, but she did not care. It did not matter to her that her own family could hear her begging him. She did not care that she would be considered a whore in the whole society. She screamed until she felt her throat getting hoarse.
“That’s right. Everyone in this house can hear you,” he said, pulling her flush against his pelvis. “Scream my name and let them know, who is inside your noble cunny.”
She did not need to be told to scream his name because she was already screaming his name like a mantra when he ceased smacking her bottom. She was shaking all over, her pupils rolling up in her head. It was the most intense release she had experienced so far.
He kept thrusting into her until every small drop of pleasure was extracted from her body and she was so wrung out, the only thing that supported her was his hands.
He pulled out at the last moment, spilling his seed on her bottom instead of inside her. He refused to give her more than she deserved. He smeared his seed on her bottom while she collapsed on the floor, feeling replete. A wide grin was plastered across her face and it brought peace to his heart, but she would never know about this. He was not going to let her know that he would stay with her if she asked him. He had to push her away.
“For your services, Lady Isabella,” he said, throwing a few coins and a wrinkled card near her head. “Show yourself out from my room.”
Her happiness was replaced with shock. She had foolishly believed that once he had used her body like a whore, made her feel humiliated, she would be forgiven. She had screamed his name, throwing the decorum and respectability out the window and as a consequence made herself vulnerable to the whole society who had heard her shameless screaming. Her mother and the rest of the guests were on the other side of the door. How would she face them now without his support?
She came out of her shock when she heard the opening and closing
of the door. He was leaving her without giving her a chance to explain her side of the story. She looked towards the scattered coins and the wrinkled card. Out of curiosity, she picked up the card, hoping to see final words of farewell, but what she found instead made her go pale. The long-forgotten face of her father was staring back at her.
She dashed after him like a madwoman, holding the portrait in her hand. She refused to let him go without explaining everything.
He was just leaving the house when she called after him. All the guests were gathered around them as they confronted one another.
“Do you know who this is?” she asked, holding the portrait in the air.
He looked from her to the portrait. There was nothing similar between the outward appearance of father and daughter, but he knew that it was all a façade. She was as monstrous as her father. They were both lacking empathy and both had the power to dominate his thoughts. The father’s memory had tormented him all his childhood and now the daughter was tormenting his mind in the present. The reason for both was different, but both of them took something precious from him. The father stole a parent from him while the daughter was stealing his peace of mind.
“That he is your father or that he is a murderer?” he asked sarcastically.
He was already aware of her father’s identity. The only question was how long he had known this secret. If he knew about it before the birthday party, then it meant her sacrifice was of no significance. She had wasted precious time wallowing in grief, which could have been spent on happiness instead.
“How long did you know about this?”
Her mother took a step towards him, but the duchess stood in her way. Isabella knew her mother was concerned about her and was coming to her aid, sheltering her from the hurtful whispers around her, but the duchess was probably aware that it was her only shot at getting answers from him and making him stay.
“Does it matter now?” he asked.
He hated that he had the urge to wipe her tears and put a smile on her face. He hated that she had the power to make him answer her questions when all he wanted to do was turn his back on her. He should leave her humiliated amidst the nobility that she so loved, but his feet were not moving when he saw the judgmental stares of the nobility fixated upon her. She deserved to be cast out by her peers, yet he could not leave her alone to them.