Choose a piece of beautiful porcelain, but not just any piece: This should be a cup or bowl that has a significant, symbolic value to you. I use a square cup from the eighteenth century given to me by a friend on my fortieth birthday, a cup I have “kintsugied.” Refined, original, and a bit askew with its cracks covered in gold, it represents me perfectly!
Mindfully prepare the infusion with pure water, watching the tea or the brewing coffee defuse slowly, drop by drop. Savor each sip of this nectar slowly, mindfully, and with gratitude . . . Finally, thank yourself for having taken the time to take care of yourself and to infuse yourself with a healing spirit.
Go Further . . .
Arrange for a special time with yourself, for instance every Sunday. After a number of weeks, the flavor of your beverage will take you away instantly, like Marcel Proust’s madeleine.
Start Here and Now!
Right now, choose the tea and the cup.
Clean
A change of the exterior circumstances of our life only works through the transformation of our body.
—Emmet Fox
Carefully clean your tools (palette knife, palettes, brushes) after each stage with turpentine or vegetable oil, and carefully organize them so they are ready for the next use.
This step is neither the most attractive nor terribly creative. And yet it’s an integral part of the entire process; it’s as indispensable as all the others.
Just as the kintsugi master cleans his material mindfully and with respect, be sure to take care of your body along with your mind during the healing process. It’s time for the big spring cleaning! Whether it’s cleansing your insides, your outside, or even your spirit, the time has come to shake up old, stagnating energies. Spark these into motion to get rid of the dead skin that’s associated with your past. You are not the same person any longer. It’s time for the shedding!
During an important transition in my life, I personally feel the need to take care of my body: sometimes through a massage, or a stay at a spa, or by fasting for a week. I clean my body (and my mind) to facilitate the emergence of the new me.
As expressed by Dr. Catherine Kousmine, “Your body is a temple.” Treat it like the sacred temple it is. And then she adds, “Don’t let just anything be brought inside of it!”
Experiment with the techniques you prefer: Rub, thin, cleanse, move, sweat, mobilize, evacuate, brush, scrub, or massage. Inochi no sentaku, kokoro no sentaku (literally, “washing life, washing heart” in Japanese). So let go of what needs to go, make a fresh start, and wash your heart, wash your life!
Baths of the World
Multiple cultures on this planet explore the benefits of steam and heat. No matter where, bathing has similar characteristics in different countries. The contrast of hot and cold, the dilating effect of heat, the benefits of essential oils, and relaxing with steam are universal, impacting the body (by softening the skin, strengthening the heart, stimulating blood circulation, evacuating toxins, relieving muscle soreness, facilitating breathing, reinforcing immune defenses) as well as the mind (relaxing, reducing stress, aiding sleep, improving conviviality, and sharing an intimate moment).
I have personally had the most incredible experience deep in the Ural Mountains, at the invitation of a Russian friend, to try out the banya (Russian bath) in an authentic dacha (Russian country home) in the Yekaterinburg countryside. It was a surreal scene where I found myself in a small, wooden cabin in the middle of nowhere. After sweating, I was surprised by a whipping with birch branches to help the blood circulate! Fortunately, this took place during the summer, so I was spared a roll in the snow. It was very stimulating!
In Japan too, the tradition of bathing is very important. Since ancient times, the Japanese people have used hot springs (onsens) to relax with friends and family and to cleanse their bodies and minds. In fact the custom is to wash oneself before entering the hot bath, so you can concentrate on relaxing and sharing. Symbolically, the Japanese bath is intended to dissolve your sorrows in the hot water and to wash your heart, wash your life!
What About You?
Do you take care of your body as a sacred temple? What if you treated it as it deserves, so that new energies emerge?
It’s Time to Act!
The Big Spring Cleaning
There are so many techniques for cleaning your body . . . Here is just a brief overview to inspire you. Which one(s) would you like to try?
Exterior body cleaning: sport (to sweat), hammam, hydrotherapy, Swedish sauna, Russian baths, Japanese baths, scrubbing, dry brushing, lymphatic draining, thalassotherapy, etc.
Interior body cleansing: colon cleansing, fasting, grape cure, mono-diet, liver detox, etc.
Energy cleansing: Chinese belly massage (chi nei tsang), acupuncture, fasciatherapy, micro-physiotherapy, Japanese shiatsu, Reiki, etc.
Go Further . . .
Read, explore, look at videos, search the Internet, and educate yourself if you would like to acquire a deeper knowledge of these subjects.
Start Here and Now!
Pick up your phone and immediately set up your first appointment.
Rest
How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?
—William Shakespeare
Patiently leave the object in the box for seven to ten days, until it has dried.
Kintsugi is a veritable education in patience and deliberation. Impatiently, we may want to move immediately to the key phase of covering the lacquered fissures with gold powder, to admire the object emerged in new splendor. But the art of kintsugi reminds us that it isn’t the outcome that counts but the way we get there . . . Kintsugi values slowness, inviting us to wait until the object’s cracks have completely dried and healed for fear of it breaking again if we are too impatient.
All of this waiting is part of the object’s repair and regeneration, just as in life patience facilitates the healing process. Take the required time. Or rather, give yourself the time you need. Certainly, you would love for things to go faster! But you need to humbly accept the time it takes and beware of quick solutions that are often superficial. To really heal to the depth of your soul, you can’t touch a fresh scar too soon without risking that it will reopen or perhaps even get infected.
To be honest, patience does not come easily to me. Rather, I am the type of person who pulls on the leaves of a plant to make it grow faster! All my life I’ve had the tendency to make fast decisions. Overnight, I quit my dream job in the fragrance industry. In three days, I decided to start my wedding planning business with no
backup plan. In a second, I made the decision to get a divorce when the truth was unveiled. In four hours, just after my mother committed suicide, I shut down the company I had owned for ten years. I regret none of these decisions, but the least one can say is that patience is not one of my strengths!
And yet, when I first discovered kintsugi, it was love at first sight, immediate and unconditional. I had the impression of having finally found my Ikigai, my reason for being. And that, in spite of requiring much effort, concentration, attention to detail, and patience, it was worth it. Initially all that interested me was the final result—the object covered in gold. But soon I discovered all the necessary stages. And to my great surprise, I started to enjoy experiencing every one of them. Even waiting out the time for drying, I eventually learned to let go. Many times I even had to start the whole process over again as a result of a hurried gesture or heavy application with the brush, or when the entire puzzle of pieces broke again at the very moment when I was ready to let it finally dry!
The spirit of kintsugi is becoming a part of me. Waiting is no longer so painful. I am learning to let a decision mature by taking my time to appreciate the path. Incidentally, my oldest daughter is very contemplative and is not always as fast and as efficient as I would like her to be .
. . Just like a kintsugi master (and aren’t our children our masters?), she has taught me to slow down, reminding me every day that slowness isn’t a fault.
You too should take the time to turn a page. Savor the wait, appreciate slowness, and enjoy every passing second that brings you closer to your cure: It’s time to let time do its work.
Zen Walking Meditation
Walking is always an excellent way to unite body and mind. Many important thinkers have had epiphanies while walking! The Zen walk (kinhin means “instructed walking”) proposes a walking practice of meditation. Based on Japanese Zen Buddhist practice, it attempts to harmonize steps with breathing. By advancing at the rhythm of respiration, the walker automatically slows down in order to avoid forced breathing.
In practice this means walking with a straight back, looking at the ground rather than far ahead, keeping one’s eyes half closed, and holding one’s hands in shashu (left fist closed around the thumb, with right hand covering the left fist). Breathing in, one mindfully advances a half step, slowly, silently aware. When breathing out, the two hands should be one against the other so that the base of the left thumb pushes against the solar plexus. Then one breathes in again, taking another half step with the other leg.
Kinhin is Zen in action, moving forward “like a tiger in the jungle or a serpent in the sea.” One turns inward to progressively develop stability, concentration, being in control of oneself and one’s energy.
What About You?
Do you have the patience and wisdom to let time do its work? Or are you the type that pulls on the leaves of the plant to make it grow faster? What might happen if you were to slow down a bit?
It’s Time to Act!
The Art of Patience
Do you sometimes have the tendency to hurry unnecessarily? To respond, note all the moments of your life during which you have made hurried decisions, wanting to advance a bit too fast.
Go Further . . .
Since mindfulness learning can pass through the entire body, take a slow Zen walking meditation (kinhin) or a chi gong session to literally incorporate into all of your cells this new sensation of slowness.
Start Here and Now!
Slow down your gestures, walk slowly and mindfully, savor the path with mindfulness.
Stage 4
Repair
nanakorobi yaoki
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
—Japanese proverb
Polish
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.
—Chinese proverb
Once the object is perfectly dry, clean the excess matter with a scraper and turpentine. Then use sandpaper to completely smooth out the surface. What remain on the object now are nothing but brown scars (urushi-tsugi).
When the glue is dry, the time has come to gently remove the excess with sandpaper by polishing the cracks until they are smooth, as if they have blended into the object’s surface. They are visible to the eye but indiscernible to the touch. The cracks have been filled but are still healing: Many steps remain before the object can rediscover with pride its true self and new beauty. However, the object is now whole and reconnected.
This is a beautiful metaphor for the approach to healing and personal development. Gradually we polish our thoughts, memories, traumas, beliefs, and feelings until there is no more pain and anger. Bit by bit, we remove the layers of emotion protecting ourselves not only from others but also from ourselves. Slowly we recognize the very heart of being our true self. This can be quite unnerving at first. Our reflexes are conditioned to trigger automatic emotional responses that have served as the core of our being for many years. Our heart is unprotected. But maybe, for the first time in a long time, we are true to ourselves, real, exposed.
It’s now time to remove your mask and reveal what’s hidden beneath it.
When I removed my first, outermost, protective layer containing the mask of the all-is-well, nice, smiling person, I did expose a layer of sadness beneath. Since this sadness had surfaced several times before, I wasn’t too surprised. Consequently, during the years of my personal development, I worked a lot on this particular emotion. But through polishing even more, I was surprised to find yet another layer that was hidden deeper and more rooted: an intense anger that boiled out of me like fire from a dragon! As more and more anger spilled out of me, drop by drop, I started to clean up this venom. Today, I continue to polish and polish more, removing one layer each time. I progress, I take two steps forward then one back, I get up again, I try to improve . . . I know that someday I will get there. I look forward to discovering what is hidden under this anger layer!
Like water that polishes pebbles, drop by drop, over thousands of years and that can drill holes through rocks, the emotional and psychological polishing is a long process, sometimes lasting an entire lifetime. But do you have anything better to do than to improve yourself?
One by one, drop by drop, layer by layer, gently polish your problems until you have revealed your original self. Smooth your soul.
Suiseki, or the Beauty of Polished Stones
Suiseki, a Japanese term meaning “stone worked by water,” is an ancient Japanese art form consisting of a collection of the most beautiful stones found in nature. These stones have been sculpted by water, wind, and time into beautiful shapes: a landscape, a mountain, an animal, a plant, or an abstract form.
With their natural beauty, without any intervention other than the creation of a tailor-made wooden stand, these natural masterpieces are fashioned by thousands of years. They are an expression of stability, patience, and simplicity, reminding us to humbly contemplate nature and the passing of time.
What About You?
Do you sometimes hide below the layers of your shell? What if you tried to polish them one by one to reveal your true self?
It’s Time to Act!
The Potter’s Wheel
Try this visualization to support you in your healing path.
Get settled in a calm and quiet location, turn off your phone, and isolate yourself for a few minutes from the rest of the world.
Imagine a potter’s wheel in front of you. If you’re having trouble visualizing it, take a look at a short video or the famous scene in the film Ghost!
Now place the lump of clay that represents you, including all of the problems you’d like to work on, on the wheel. Whatever ails you, hurts you, or makes you suffer.
Contemplate the details of the formless mass in all of its roughness.
Imagine centering the mass on the wheel, putting yourself symbolically in the center.
Now pour a glass of water over the clay, representing the purification and care you’re applying to yourself.
Carefully put your hands on the clay. Connect with its vitality.
Let the energy of healing enter through your hands.
Take the clay into your hands and mentally start to turn the wheel.
Let your hands slide over the clay from top to bottom. Feel the sensations that result: Imagine the matter gliding through your hands, the odor of the clay mixed with water, the whirring of the wheel, the hypnotic turning of the object you’re trying to shape.
Make a hole in the center using your thumbs. This represents your willingness to get to the heart of the problem.
Now shape the object. What does it represent? Maybe an abstract form, a vase, a bowl, a plate, or a ball?
Feel how the mass is now soft and smooth.
How many of its bumps you have polished away . . .
Observe your body’s reaction. Do you feel relaxed? Are there still parts on you that are tight or clenched? If so, just continue to polish a bit longer, until you find yourself in harmony.
Virtually remove the object from the wheel, passing a wire under the object, cutting the clay, indicat
ing to your subconscious the willingness to move to another stage in your life.
Put the object in a symbolic location representing well-being to you.
Admire the object regularly in your thoughts. Connect yourself to this creation when you start rethinking the initial problem, in order to reconnect with the feeling of wellness now rooted deep inside you.
Decorate it so you can celebrate your rebirth and your healing.
Go Further . . .
Repeat this exercise in real life by taking a pottery course.
Start Here and Now!
Get settled comfortably and begin the visualization.
Touch
There is nothing better than a look and a touch to know where one is.
—Tahar Ben Jelloun
It is sometimes difficult to recognize certain irregularities with the naked eye. Using your fingers and sense of touch, verify that all the joints are perfectly smooth.
As in the art of kintsugi, in life the sense of touch is indispensable to one’s balance and well-being. For instance, studies have shown that money left by accident is more likely to be returned if the person who found the money is lightly touched on the shoulder when asked for it. Other studies have shown that infants born prematurely who receive extra care and massage, or who sleep on warm, lambskin rugs develop much faster than the babies in the control group.
Even if it’s difficult to measure precisely and quantify the results of such studies, could it be that what is true for newborn babies also applies to us? Wouldn’t our bodies be starved for the sense of touch in a society where everything is dematerialized and physical contact is reduced for fear of being misunderstood as harassment? Wouldn’t we miss a touch of gentleness in a brutal world?
Kintsugi Page 7