by H M Angues
I want—need—to kiss her, to hold her, to be with her.
I can’t give into it, though. I hide the feelings somewhere deep in my mind, but not before I notice her presence in my head, snooping around momentarily. It only lasts a second before she slips away, but I know she saw what I’m feeling.
Calla turns and briskly walks away from me. I know it’s because of the things she just saw. She doesn’t motion for me to follow, doesn’t even glance back over her shoulder.
I don’t invade her mind to see what she’s feeling as I watch her walk away, each step driving another dagger into my heart. I don’t look because I’m afraid of what I may find, and because if she doesn't want me, I don't want to force myself where I don't belong.
Chapter 18
Calla
My mother used to tell me that being mated never means you’ll have a perfect relationship. It doesn’t mean you’ll always love each other, either.
Before she died, she knew my father had kept several mistresses aside from Mira. High Queen Daiena knew she was not married and mated to a faithful man. She wasn’t virtuous, either, having kept several consorts close to bed as well. Neither of them was faithful in their pairing, but they loved each other in their own ways and turned a blind eye to the other’s affairs. Like she had said, it doesn’t mean you have the perfect relationship; it means you’re the perfect, most compatible pair. Once, it was thought it was intended to produce the best offspring, but many of my ancestors have been mated to the same sex.
I couldn’t stand beside Kainan in that hallway for another moment, not after seeing that glimpse of his emotions. All of those feelings he buries deep in his mind, bottles up and tucks away... All of that pain, just because of me. I was afraid that I would do something I would deeply regret, simply to make it go away. I know, though, that acting on it won’t make anything go away—in fact, it would bring on more pain.
You’re just friends.
I wish that statement didn’t hurt. I wish I could bury whatever it is that I feel and walk away from it all, from both temperamental Dane brothers, and go on without all of this nonsense.
Kainan and I will not be together. With time, I will probably get over the physical pain, and move on. I will get over the nonsensical mating bond, and so will he.
But there's still that part of me that doesn't want to get over it.
∞∞∞
Three awkward and uneventful days pass in Stonefire Palace. I avoid Kainan as best I can, and don’t even glimpse Bellamy outside of her rooms, not even on the fourth day.
My father’s funeral is an elaborate affair, far grander than that of my brother. It’s to be expected; Augustus the Fourth was an emperor, Talon just a king, but both still taken before their time.
Like before, I lead the funeral procession through the Capital City, and onlookers line the streets, dressed all in black to mourn their deceased ruler. The pallbearers are four of my father’s closest advisers, including Valek, so they follow the hearse behind me, leaving Blade and Rysen to trail from the back, next to Lady Mira and one other woman.
She is withered with age, but her sea-green eyes glow like the sun reflecting off the ocean’s waters. High Lady Katarina, my father’s mother, widow to Emperor Jakos the Second. I haven’t seen my grandmother since my mom died. I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t show for Talon’s funeral; she hated her son’s promiscuity, and his open acceptance of a bastard child, which is why she had disappeared from our lives all those years ago, even though she had cared for Talon as much as she does for me.
I turn my attention back to the road ahead. Unlike Talon’s funeral day, the sun shines down on us, warming me under my black garments.
We move through the city slowly, my horse’s shoes clicking on the cobbled street, the skyscrapers towering around us, glittering in the sunlight.
I hear the explosion echo off the capital’s mix of traditional marble and newer concrete structures, spooking the horse beneath me as well as the hundreds of thousands of spectators.
Remus Tower, one of the tallest and most beautiful in the city and built by the hybrid Metallurge and Lectric emperor himself, is the origin of the bomb. Glass on the lower levels has shattered, and the structure groans with the strain of withstanding such a blast.
Though I have a feeling it won’t be standing much longer.
“Get everybody off the streets, now!” I shout at the Royal Guardsmen closest to me. They rush to follow their new emperor’s orders, ushering the panicking citizens off the streets and as far away from the blast as possible.
The hearse driver looks frantic in the front seat. I steer the horse toward the company of people behind it. “Get in the car and head to the palace,” I command, not leaving any room for question. All but Blade, Ryse, and my grandmother listen to my order.
I dismount, handing the beast off to a Guardsman nearby, ordering him to ride it back to the palace stables.
“The two of you should go,” I say to Ryse and Blade.
Another explosion sounds from the same building, and I shield my face from falling glass. This time, it came from the second or third floor. They’re going to bring the building down too quickly for us to do much in response.
“We’re staying, Calla,” Rysen says. “But High Lady Katarina, you should leave with the advisers.”
My grandmother scoffs, throwing Ryse off guard. “Oh, please,” she says, rolling her ocean eyes. “I could do more damage to a whole army of these gods-forsaken terrorists than you could to a single one. I was once high queen; don't tell me what I should and should not do, boy.”
“Chances are they’re in one of the surrounding buildings, likely far enough to be safe should Remus Tower collapse. Blade, you come with me, and Ryse, you’ll go with my grandmother. Rally Guardsmen to search the nearby buildings,” I say, turning on my heels to leave the chaotic crowd of panicked bodies.
“That’s a bullshit plan, Calla. Your mate is here somewhere, I suggest you find him. If we split up in two groups, he should be in one and you the other. It’ll allow for reliable communication between us,” my grandmother suggest.
At the mention of the word mate, my eyes dart to Rysen to find him glaring at me. Anger and betrayal boil behind those brown eyes, but I don’t have time to deal with it now. I don’t know how Nana Rina knew, but the woman has her ways. She always finds out everything before anyone else.
As if on cue, Kainan appears at Katarina’s shoulder. He had been hidden in the crowd to spectate the funeral. Katarina takes one look at him and says, “He will come with Blade and me. Calla, you go with Rysen.”
I open my mouth to protest, not wanting Rysen to be the one to come with me, but this whole interaction has already wasted so much time. The infrastructure of Remus Tower could fail at any moment, and there are likely people trapped inside.
“All right. New plan. Nana, you go to the tower and try to get out as many survivors as you can. Gather up the Guardsmen to help. Ryse, you and I will hunt these bastards down. If it’s a remote detonation, they’d have to be somewhere in range. Most can't work more than a mile away. Let’s go.”
∞∞∞
The first thing I do is tear my metal boots off my feet. Utilizing the vibrations through the earth is the quickest and most reliable method. I can already feel that the nearest buildings are empty. I lead Ryse to an apartment complex about a mile and a half out, the maximum range for the more high-tech remote detonators used in the Armed Forces. I can feel subtle movement inside and charge in, Rysen close behind.
“When were you planning on telling me you’re mated with my brother?” Ryse snaps as we search the complex.
“Not now, Rysen.”
He slams his hand against the wall beside me, muscled arm blocking my path. “Calla,” he breathes, “we said there would be no more secrets. That doesn’t disappear just because we’re not... whatever we were before.”
“There are hostile enemy forces in this area that just bombed one of
the most famous towers in Capital City, and you want to talk about the relationship we never had? There was nothing between us, and there never will be.”
A part of me wishes I wanted Rysen. He isn't my mate, he isn't the result of somebody or something else telling me who to love. He's just Rysen. And yet, I don't feel for him.
“You and I both know that whoever did this is gone by now. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to stick around long enough to be found.”
I sigh again, slumping against the wall. Whatever movement I felt earlier has vanished. “I didn’t tell you because you were still so angry with him. There’s a lot the two of you need to discuss; he’s not the monster you think he is, he never was. Besides, it doesn’t even mean anything to me. It doesn’t change anything.”
His features soften as he says, “What does that mean? Are you rejecting the mating bond? Can a Primori even do that?”
I meet his eyes, and there it is again. That feeling that always surfaces, the one that tells me to turn and walk away from him, right into Kainan’s arms. I shake it off. “I might just try,” I mutter.
“Why?”
I know he’s hoping for some romantic confession of my emotions, but it won’t be what he receives.
“I have my reasons,” I answer. “But you're not one of them.”
His face goes cherry red with rage, and frustration, but I don't have time to deal with it; shouts from the streets drag us out of the moment, forcing us to face the dire situation at present.
I slip under his arm, jogging down the hall and bursting through each apartment door, scanning each living space until I decide the building is clear, even though I already know it is. Still, it's good to double check. We spend almost an hour searching like this as Guardsmen outside try to evacuate people from the city. Then, a third explosion rumbles through the ground. I sprint out into the still-crowded streets, zipping through the chaos as fast as I can. It doesn’t take me long to reach Remus Tower.
Only to find it crumbling with my friends and family still inside.
Chapter 19
Kainan
Calla’s grandmother is one hell of a woman.
She’s an Oceanus, one of the rarer breeds of Primori. She had been a refugee from Helkyn, which I learned during my time there. She was the first of their kind ever seen outside of the Renald family. Even Calla only just learned Primori even existed beyond her bloodline. Upon the discovery of Katarina's existence, in order to avoid too much controversy, she was betrothed to Grand Duke Jakos, Calla’s grandfather and a temperamental Tempest who eventually inherited the throne.
For a woman as aged as she, Katarina is made of some tough shit. She charges into Remus Tower, black skirts flowing, ignoring the imminent danger of being in a building that is so close to collapse. Blade and I are on her heels as she bee-lines for the decorative fountain at the lobby’s center. I imagine the interior was once grand and beautiful, but now it has been reduced to blackened walls, rubble and dust.
“Hold on to me,” she says, reaching her frail hands out to the two of us. We take hold as she commands the water toward the ceiling. It blasts through, creating a gaping hole of water streaming upward against gravity. She steps into the stream and it yanks us toward the top floor without warning. I swallow who knows how many gulps of water as I try to gasp for air. Katarina holds tight, never letting me go as the fountain jets us toward the top.
I tumble out of the stream when we reach the forty-seventh floor, soaked and coughing up water. I get to my feet to see that Blade is in just as bad a condition.
There are about twenty people on this floor, all huddled in an office by a large window to catch a glimpse of what’s going on below.
They recognize Katarina, but they’re too frightened to greet her in the appropriate manner. There’s no time, anyway. They are not pleased to see me, however, the majority of them knowing my face from the broadcast that had been televised across the empire all those weeks ago. When I grab one woman’s arm to lead her to the water elevator, she smacks my hand away and hisses. Katarina calms her, and everyone else, down, assuring them that I am to be trusted.
It works well enough. The three of us are able to get all twenty or so of them to step into the water stream that Katarina reverses. It steadily sinks downward, all of us cradled in a bubble in the middle of the stream that the High Lady manifested to keep us from drowning during the descent. Guardsmen wait at the bottom floor to take the survivors to safety.
We do this for each level of the building, rushing the survivors into the water elevator and into the arms of waiting Guardsmen. Forty-six other floors, hundreds of people. It takes a long time, much longer than I thought the building would hold, but we manage to get a few dozen floors done before the third explosion goes off. The infrastructure groans and begins to rumble.
“We have to get out, now!” Katarina yells, throwing Blade and I into the water and bringing us crashing down to the bottom floor. She drags us up from the pool, the remaining Guardsmen following close behind.
The building begins to fall apart all around us, with rubble and concrete and glass crashing near our heads. The distance from the fountain to the front door is too far; we’re going to be buried under Remus Tower before we can reach it.
I risk a glance at the ceiling, only to find a massive chunk of the building’s structure plummeting toward my head. I leap out of the way, shoving Blade and Katarina to the ground. I know that I didn’t get us far enough. I cover my head, waiting to be crushed under its weight.
The deadly rock never hits the floor. I turn back to see Calla standing directly below it, holding it up with nothing more than the power of her mind. As I look around, seeing the crumbling pieces of the structure frozen in place, I realize she’s holding up the entire building.
These royal women are bad ass.
I scramble to my feet, dragging the High Lady and Blade up as well. I propel them forward, not giving them time to gawk or ask questions until they’re out of harm’s way. Rysen isn’t far from me, grabbing them and taking them to safety with a gaggle of Guardsmen.
“Calla!” I yell.
She grunts, looking to me. The muscles in her body are taut with the strain. She may not be physically holding up anything, but her ability—abilities, apparently—seem to take a real physical toll.
“GO!” she screams, her body trembling with the force of the massive building resting on her mind’s capability and strength. I see hints of blood from her ears and nose. She can’t take this much longer. Her abilities alone aren’t strong enough.
“Cal, you won't save them without dying!” I shout over the deafening roar of crowds screaming outside and the sound of the building still crumbling above her. We didn't clear out the whole building. Dozens or more people could still be up there, if they're not already dead.
I almost crumble to my knees at the pure sorrow in her eyes. Those are her people up there, and she will bear the weight of their deaths like she bears the weight of their concrete and glass tomb.
“Go,” she says again, tears welling in her eyes as she accepts her sacrifice. She will let herself die if it means even one other person has a chance to get out alive.
I ignore her, turning around and yelling for Blade and Rysen, praying to the gods that one of them hears me over the chaos.
My prayers are answered. Ryse runs toward us, stopping at Calla’s side. “On my count,” he says. “Then the three of us will run together, okay? I’m getting you out of here, Cal.”
“If you go now, I can hold it long enough for you both to get out, so get out!”
“We aren’t leaving you!” Ry yells back at her.
Flames lash out from her trembling shoulders. Rysen yelps and jumps away as one of them lunges at him. “Get out!” she shouts again, the flames reaching for my brother and I, chasing us out the front door. I feel for Rysen, making contact with his back and shoving him forward, toward safety.
“KAINAN!” I barely hear Rysen's voice over
the deafening sounds of destruction around me as I sprint back into the ruin.
Everything seems to slow down, moving in half-time. I latch onto Calla's arms, yanking her into my chest. I half-carry, half-drag her toward the exit. I can see Guardsmen rushing toward us, toward their emperor.
Until my view is blocked by a chunk of metal and wires and stone.
∞∞∞
I cough, gasping for fresh air as the dust settles, the building having collapsed entirely with an Eterra-shattering boom. I sink to my knees, Calla cradled in my arms as I hold her small body, weak and drained from supporting tons upon tons of metal, concrete, and glass.
The Guardsmen around us usher our small group toward Stonefire, and I reluctantly hand Calla off to one of them. I'm drained and weak, too, though I'm loathe admit it. When we finally make it into a transport that drives us the rest of the way, I sink deeply into the leather seats. We reach Stonefire in minutes, and immediately we veer off toward Calla’s room. I hang back, walking close to my brother, still wanting to make sure he's all right. I guess some instincts never fade.
Just before we can follow the others inside, High Lady Katarina stops us.
“Thank you,” she says, kissing both of our dust-caked cheeks. “She was willing to let herself die in there to save just a dozen more people. Her willingness to die for her people—it’s a blessing and a curse. We can’t lose another emperor, not now, and you two brothers made sure it didn’t happen.”
“I couldn’t let her get hurt,” I murmur. “She’s my emperor.”
Katarina's face is hard as stone. “She’s a lot more than that.”