Yours Truly, Thomas

by Rachel Fordham

  “I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to give her everything.” He let out a horrible sob. “I was her father. She was my girl.”

  Thomas stopped thinking and acted. He put his arms around Oscar. He held him. He sobbed with him. The two strong men became weak and vulnerable as they mourned together. “I’m sorry.” Both men spoke the words, the life-changing words of forgiveness.

  The sheriff cut in again. “Thomas.” Thomas moved away from Oscar but kept his eyes on the heartbroken man. “I don’t have to file this. But I don’t feel I’m doing my job if I let a man who would burn another man’s barn roam the streets of Azure Springs. Oscar Finley needs to leave our town and never come back.”

  “Go back to your wife.” Thomas’s voice was calm. “Go back to your friends. So many people need you. They depend on you.”

  Oscar’s face was red and puffy—tears, shame, embarrassment, relief all evident. “I’ll go.” He put out his hand toward Thomas. “I’ve heard you’re a good man here.”

  Thomas shook his hand but remained quiet.

  “I forgive you.” Oscar dragged the toe of his boot back and forth in the dirt. “This was foolhardy. It won’t bring her back. I’m ashamed.”

  “Don’t be. You were grieving. It’s forgotten.”

  Oscar nodded and looked Thomas in the eyes. “Thank you.” Then he turned and walked away.

  Thomas watched him go to the barn. Minutes later he left on the back of a tall black horse.

  Hugh approached Thomas. “We saved her. Well, that man did.”

  “I can’t talk,” Thomas said. “I need to think.”

  He left the crowd and walked away from the Danbury farm. Jeb was dead. His mind raced as he tried to make sense of it all. Death had freed Eliza, but it still left an unsettled feeling. A sickening feeling. Oscar had come there to get revenge and now Thomas had his forgiveness. He pressed his hands to his forehead, wishing he could push the pounding away. Tears came and went as he walked the hill. He stopped at the top, overlooking green fields, and let himself feel it all. The emotions were so raw and real. Feeling them hurt, but he would not run from them. Not this time.

  Abraham walked up the hill and stood beside him, his eyes fixed on the waving grass. “You aren’t to blame.”

  “I brought trouble here.”

  “Jeb’s problems started long before you.” Abraham blew his nose into a handkerchief. “I’ve been crying all day. But not because you came. You say you brought trouble, but I suppose we all bring a certain amount of trouble.”

  “You’ve your daughter back. I’m glad of that.”

  “I think it’ll take some time. The scars of something like this don’t fade all at once. You know that though. I’m not sure they ever heal, but I do hope she learns to smile again.”

  “I’m learning that even now. I tried to run. Before I came here, I tried to run from my pain.”

  Abraham’s big chest rose and fell. He patted Thomas’s back. “Stop running. You were a good man even before Oscar forgave you. Be a good man still.”

  “I want to be.” Thomas watched as the sun moved lower on the horizon. “Tomorrow the sun will rise again.”

  “That it will.”

  “I’ll rise with it.” Thomas looked to the place where the sun would come to defeat the night. “Every time it rises, I’ll rise with it.”

  “That, my friend, is one of the great secrets to a happy life. Face it. Whatever it is. Day after day. Face it and decide you won’t let it knock you down. I’ve been hearing talk that you may have found someone to face it with.”

  Thomas closed his eyes, the last rays of sun warming his face. “I think I have.”

  “Go tell her you are safe. Take hold of your future and make it something worthwhile.”

  “Penny.” Margaret’s voice came through the closed door.

  “Yes. Come in.”

  Margaret opened the door and stepped into the room. She sat beside her. “I wanted to see how you were. I was afraid you’d be up here fretting over Thomas.”

  “I’m so worried. I’ve been writing and doing what I can to keep busy, but I’m afraid. So often I’ve had dreams that haven’t come true. I think I could have a whole life with Thomas. I think it could be a truly happy life. But if he doesn’t come—”

  “He’ll come back.”

  “After my father died, my mother was never the same. I know that just because I want something, that doesn’t guarantee it will happen.” She rolled her pen back and forth on the desk. “I’m afraid for him. He’s only just learning to live with his regrets. He’s finding himself. I want him to have a beautiful spring season in life. When everything feels good and right.”

  “We all long for that. A few men are down in the dining hall still. They’re having a meeting in there about some town business. What would you think about me asking one of them to come carry you down to the front room so you can watch for Thomas from there?”

  “I’d be grateful. I’ve been worried something was happening out there that I don’t know about. I don’t want to be the last to know.”

  “You wait here. I’ll go get someone to carry you down.”

  Penny straightened the papers on the little desk while she waited. Every few seconds, she looked over her shoulder toward the bedroom door, eager to be free of the lonely room and nearer the front door where news was surely to come. She didn’t like the idea of being in another man’s arms. She’d seen most of the men in the dining hall. A shiver raced through her.

  The door to her room had a slight squeak. Most would not recognize it, but Penny had trained her ears to hear it. She heard it now.

  Penny ran her hands over her skirt as she nervously braced herself for her trip down the stairs in the arms of a stranger.

  “Penny.”

  She turned. In the doorway stood Thomas and Margaret. All the breath in her lungs left with a giant exhale. He was back. He was safe. “Thomas.”

  Margaret stood with her hands on her heart. “Go to her.” She nudged Thomas. “This just makes my heart happy. I’ll leave you two. Behave yourselves, but be sure to make all sorts of plans for the future.”

  “Margaret!” Penny felt heat rise to her face.

  “I’m not blind. I know love when I see it.” She patted Thomas’s arm before stepping out of the doorway.

  Thomas crossed the floor then in several large strides. Penny’s heart quickened with his approach. He knelt beside her and grasped her hands. “I was afraid I wouldn’t make it back to you. I’d never been so afraid.”

  Penny leaned forward and let her forehead rest against his. “You’re safe,” she whispered. “You’re back. Is it over?”

  He nodded, his head still against hers. “Let me get the chair.” He stepped away only to seat himself near her. At first he just looked at her. She met his gaze. There was a new softness she had never seen in his features. Tears stung the back of her eyes. Looking at him, she knew he was glad he was alive. She had yearned for this moment since reading his first letter.

  He took her hand and held it as he recounted the fear, the desperation, and the ultimate conclusion of the evening. “The whole way back I thought about my life. It hasn’t gone how I wanted it to. I wanted to go backwards so badly to fix all that was wrong. I’ve been afraid to move forward. I’m not anymore. When I saw Jeb with his gun and I knew there was a chance I’d never come back to you, I realized how deeply I’d regret that. I want a future and I want it with you.” He leaned forward, grasping her hand tighter. He brought it to his lips and kissed her palm. “I want to make plans for the future. Penny, I want to get married. I want a family.”

  “I prayed you’d come back to me. I want that future too.”

  “I believe your prayers have been heard.” He buried his head in her lap. His body shook as he began to cry. Penny ran her hands through his hair and told him he was safe. She was home. Not in a physical abode but in spirit and heart. Thomas was her home. This was where she belonged. Love and ho
me did not have to look the way she’d always imagined. They were born in joy and in sorrow.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you. I love you for all you’ve been through and for all that is to come.”

  Thomas raised his head and looked at her with tear-filled eyes. “There’s been so much pain. But you . . . you’ve been a balm for my soul.”

  Penny kissed his cheek, her lips lingering against his skin. “Pain, my love, is not always the enemy.”

  Epilogue

  My Darling,

  I looked through your book of letters today. It’s thick and growing all the time. In these five years, we’ve managed to make a great many beautiful memories. I laughed when I saw the letter you wrote to me on the day you fixed me dinner for the first time and burned the entire meal. Remember it? I ate it anyway and you cried while I did.

  I couldn’t help but smile when I read the letter I wrote you when I told you we were going back to DC for a visit so you could see Dinah and meet her husband and son. That was the trip I first met your mother. It was a healing trip for everyone. And then when you were back with Dinah, you flitted around like a schoolgirl. I was lost to you all over again.

  You wrote me a sorrowful letter when Honeysuckle died. Remember how we both cried? I miss that dog. I don’t think there’s another dog out there who loves the mud like she did. Remember how she’d roll in it, then come inside and shake herself off? Everything was covered in mud. She was a brave dog to do such a thing. Your eyes would flash with anger and I was sure she was going to be run out of town. But you always welcomed her back.

  I wrote you on the day we attended Eliza and Hugh’s wedding. I remember that day. We both felt like we were witnessing a miracle. They are a perfect match. Their union brought smiles back to Eliza’s face. You’ve been a good friend to her.

  And now today I am writing again. Today is another one of those days I want to remember forever. You told me early this morning that your back hurt, and three long, horrible hours later I heard the sound of a baby crying. My baby. Our baby. I will always remember the way you looked when I was finally admitted into the room. Your brow was sweaty and your fair skin flushed, but your eyes gleamed with happiness. “Come see our daughter,” you said. And there in the crook of your arm was the tiniest itty-bitty girl I’d ever seen. Just a little bug of a girl.

  She has the most beautiful cap of black hair, just like her mother. I’d never held a person so small. But I held her and I’ll hold her as she grows. I’ll be the father she deserves. I’ll take her and show her the good things in the world. I’ll pick her flowers and buy her a pony. I’ll even let her name it a ridiculous name if she wishes. And then one day when she is older, I’ll tell her how I met a green-eyed beauty who changed my life. I’ll tell her the road to you was long and hard and riddled with sorrow, but it was a blessed road.

  And you I hope will share with our little miss all the advice and wisdom your father told you so long ago. I hope she laughs like you do. I hope she feels everything the way you do. I never knew love until I met you and now it grows and grows.

  Yours truly,

  Thomas

  Discussion Questions

  When Penny stumbles upon Thomas’s letter, his words speak to her heart. Have you ever read something or seen something that really resonated with you? Why do you think it did?

  Penny does not have a great relationship with her mother. Can you think of anything Penny could have done to improve the relationship? Have you ever felt like Penny’s mother and struggled to accept change?

  Penny’s mother is eager to go live with Uncle Clyde, but Penny is not. If you were in a similar situation, do you think you’d choose to continue working at a busy job or live a leisurely life with little freedom?

  Thomas struggles to feel at home in Azure Springs. He doesn’t feel like he deserves to be welcomed or accepted. Have mistakes in your past ever kept you from wanting to feel joy in the future?

  The night Thomas punches the intoxicated man, Margaret tells him that he gets to choose what he becomes. Have you ever seen two people go through similar trials and come out of them very different from each other?

  Dinah decides to marry a man she respects and cares about, and she believes she will come to love him eventually. Do you think this was a wise decision? Can love blossom later in a relationship? Does a couple have to feel enamored with each other to have a strong marriage?

  Thomas writes letters to Clara despite the fact that he knows she’ll never read them. Why do you think he does this? Have you ever wished you could change something in the past, only to realize you cannot undo what’s been done?

  Penny’s father told her long ago that pain was not always the enemy. Can you think of a time when something painful led to something beautiful?

  Thomas and Penny’s relationship moves quickly. Does a courtship have to be long to be successful?

  Thomas confesses he has never taken care of someone the way he takes care of Penny when she is injured. Have you ever grown closer to someone by serving them?

  Eliza’s marriage to Jeb is an unhealthy union. Her fear dictates many of the decisions she makes. How could you help someone you suspect is living in an abusive relationship?

  Clara’s father becomes bitter and enraged over her death and chooses to seek vengeance. How else could he have found peace? Why was it important for Oscar and Thomas to forgive each other?

  Acknowledgments

  I wrote Yours Truly, Thomas a couple of years after writing The Hope of Azure Springs. I knew I wanted to go back and revisit some of my favorite characters while also introducing new ones. The idea for this book occurred to me when my family was on vacation with my sister Stephanie’s family. We were touring an old post office in the Midwest and the guide told us letters that were not claimed or addressed correctly went to the dead letter office in Washington, DC. I remember looking at my sister and saying, “I have to learn more.” That night in our vacation house, I searched the internet for information on the dead letter office. What I found captivated my imagination. I decided I’d try to combine a lost letter, a guilt-ridden man, and a woman searching for a place to belong, and ta-da!, Yours Truly, Thomas was born!

  Like any novel, it was not a solo project. My sisters and mom were early readers, as well as several amazing friends (you know who you are). I’m in your debt for all the hours you put into this story. And more importantly for the kindness and encouragement you continually offer me. My agent, Emily Sylvan Kim. and my editors, Lonnie Hull DuPont and Amy Ballor, were there for me as I trudged through edits and bouts of self-doubt. I’m truly grateful. The entire team at Revell has a place in my heart!

  On the home front, I had endless support from my kids and husband. I couldn’t ask for a better crew. They cheer me on, listen to my endless book talk, and always believe in my abilities. When Tyler and I had been married for a couple years, I gave him a journal. We call it our “Love Journal.” It’s similar to Penny and Thomas’s book of letters. We write back and forth when something special happens or when we want to say “I love you.” We’ve filled multiple journals now and they are truly some of my treasures. I don’t think I could write romances without all that I’ve experienced with my own husband and family. I’m truly thankful for the real-life love that surrounds me.

  I’m grateful God gave me a love for writing and storytelling. Often when life has been particularly trying, I’ve been able to find a peaceful escape in my projects. I believe God knew I needed a fulfilling hobby that challenged me. His ways are good!

  I hope you’ve enjoyed your time with Penny and Thomas. Thank you, readers and friends, for sharing this journey with them as they struggle to overcome the past and live for the future.

  Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me since I was first published. It’s been a joy hearing from and connecting with you. None of this would be possible without you.

  Rachel

  Rachel Fordham started writing when her children b
egan begging her for stories at night. She’d pull a book from the shelf, but they’d insist she make one up. Finally, she put her love of good stories with her love of writing and she hasn’t stopped since. She lives with her husband and children on an island in the state of Washington.

  RachelFordham.com

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  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Endorsements

  Half Title Page

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Prologue

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  Epilogue

  Discussion Questions

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Back Ads

  Back Cover

  List of Pages

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