The way he felt about Alex was different. With Gary it had been an instant attraction and a physical longing they’d both shared. A want to experiment. To finally do something they’d both wanted to do for a long time, but had never tried doing before.
But this new feeling was something else. He felt a draw to Alex as a person. It wasn't just sex. Or even if sex played a big part, it wasn't only about the fact he wanted him. He liked him. A lot.
Leighton paused on the landing, and was surprised when Geoff walked briskly past him. He was wearing a suit. He looked at him as if he had got a bad fright.
“Hey!” Leighton hailed him. “You going out?”
“Yeah...” Geoff said, hesitant. “Speech contest.”
“Cool. Are you speaking?”
“No. I'm judging,” Geoff said shyly. “I speak next week. This week is junior speakers.”
“Oh?” Leighton was impressed. “Well, then. I want to come and support. Tell me when you're on.”
Geoff looked stricken. He cleared his throat. “Okay,” he said quickly. Then he glanced around and down at his watch. “I gotta run. See you later.”
“See you,” Leighton called amiably.
As he climbed the rest of the stairs, he wondered idly what was the matter with Geoff. He had noticed lately that he tended to be hesitant around him. Probably just finding it hard to settle in, he decided fairly. We've all only been here for two weeks. Be fair.
He went in through the door of the room and was surprised to notice a blue light coming from the desk. Alex must have left his laptop on. Wondering how long Alex had already been out, Leighton went to check if it was plugged in. No good if the battery dies on him.
He glanced at the screen. He stared.
The photo on the screen was of a nude man. Well, more than one nude man, to be precise. And they were clearly engaged in fairly graphic activity.
Feeling his heart pound faster, Leighton quickly scrolled down. He felt a strange heat tingle through him. It was not just the content of the photos, which was explicit and arousing. It was the thought that Alex had been looking at gay porn.
Alex is actually gay, he thought. He had thought that he might be, but having it confirmed was...pleasing. More than pleasing. The fact that he had stumbled on this truth quite by accident was also a delicious secret.
He shook his head at himself. He heard someone turning the faucet handle in the washroom and quickly scrolled up again and then flopped down on the bed. He didn't want to embarrass Alex.
Alex walked in, whistling a tune. Then he saw Leighton.
He stared. He ran to the screen and closed it quickly.
“Leighton!” he said, with a pale attempt to grin. “Hey, man. You're early?”
Leighton stretched and pretended to yawn. “Yeah. Class didn't last long today. We finished the first section and Prof. let us off early. Thought I'd come and relax for a bit.”
“Oh. Good,” Alex said distantly. He had turned the laptop around firmly and taken out some books. He looked disturbed and that in itself was such a unique state that it made Leighton feel aroused. Alex, decomposed, was very arousing.
“You going out later?” Leighton asked. It was a hint, but he was not sure if Alex would take it or not. He was going to offer that they could go out together, and hoped Alex would suggest it himself.
“Probably not,” Alex said firmly. He did not look up from his notebook. Whatever was written in it seemed to be absolutely interesting. He concentrated firmly on it without so much as glancing elsewhere in the room. Leighton felt his lips lift in a smile.
If his teachers knew that the best way to make him read is to catch him watching stuff, then they'd never leave this room, he thought cheerfully.
Alex caught him grinning and cast a glare in his direction.
“What?” Leighton shrugged. He knew he was making Alex uncomfortable but a part of him actually enjoyed it. Seeing Alex disconcerted was such a rare sight that it made him want to smile.
“Nothing,” Alex said crossly.
“I was just smiling at something a friend sent me,” Leighton said innocently.
“Fine,” Alex said lightly. “Now I have to concentrate. If you're planning to stay, would you mind not talking?”
Leighton grinned. Alex had been disconcerted for about a minute or two. Then he returned to the contained, distant guy they all knew. He was impressed. If he had been in a similar situation, he doubted he could have regained his composure so quickly. Alex really is cool.
Leighton abandoned the pretense of being interested in the phone. He stood and stretched.
“I'm going out,” he announced. “I need fresh air.”
“Okay,” Alex said. He didn't look up, but Leighton could hear his “whatever” shrug in his voice. He smiled.
“You planning to go out for supper?” he asked. There, he had said it.
Alex sighed and laid down the notes. He looked up. His eyes met Leighton's and, despite the cool detachment on his face, Leighton felt the contact of that gaze as if Alex had touched him. “I'm busy, Leighton,” Alex said, his voice thin.
“Okay,” Leighton said. He tried to keep the smile out of his voice but didn't manage well. The almost-prim way Alex responded was somehow even more sexy than if he had responded in a friendly way. Perhaps because it was so typical to him.
He looked at him where he sat, hair smoothly gelled, hands folded. He had to actually hold himself back from resting a hand on his shoulder, just to see what would happen. He sighed. He should pull himself together and leave the poor guy in peace.
He picked up his sports-things, thinking of going for a run, but decided to walk instead. He headed outside and sat on a bench near the dorm.
Breathing in cool night air he let himself think about his latest information.
Alex is gay.
The thought was so deeply pleasing that Leighton had to sit and consider it a while. If he was gay, then perhaps he would be ready for taking their relationship to another level. Leighton felt his body respond to that thought. Then he thought about what to do next.
He knew Alex was possibly interested so…he could start to find a way of making it happen. The thought was so exciting that he felt himself becoming aroused. He chuckled. Leighton, stop being silly...he would have to wait a while before he could, finally, get this plan underway.
6
Alex
The next morning, Alex stayed in bed, pleading a headache, while the other two got ready for class and left.
When they had gone, he rolled out of bed. He felt absolutely great. He was just embarrassed. Ever since Leighton had come back while he was in the washroom, he had not wanted to look him in the eye.
He was almost completely sure he had seen what was on the screen. And the thought of that made his whole body cringe.
Of all the people to have caught him looking at porn, the last person he would have wanted it to be was Leighton. As far as he could tell, Leighton was Mr. Straightness. He was a football-playing, toothpaste-commercial, typical guy. The kind of guy he was half-convinced was made in factories somewhere, to standard measurements. If Leighton had discovered he was not straight, he was absolutely certain he would judge him for it.
“I shouldn't care what anybody thinks,” Alex told himself. He shrugged on his bathrobe and headed down the hallway to the showers.
Alex breathed in steam and the scent of minty shower-gel and thought about how little he ought to care about what Leighton thought. His schooling years had been hard, and had readied him for any bullies the school could turn up, which was most varieties, from the unpleasant sadistic sort to the big, burly gimmie-your-lunch-money sort. Over twelve years of schooling, Alex had developed his resilience so that, by the time his final year came round, he was the one the bullies tended to avoid. Half of them had felt the lash of his wit, and the other half were simply scared, half-convinced he was an incarnation of Lucifer. He chuckled mirthlessly.
Thinking about it like th
at, I am absolutely the last person who should care what Tommy Hilfiger thinks of me.
He sighed. He walked back up to the dorm, drawing his robe around him. Somehow no matter how cynical and hard he tried to be about things, he still cared about what his new dorm-mates thought of him.
He was surprised. They were the only two people he had bonded with so deeply.
“Come on,” he chided himself. “You've got lots of friends. It doesn't matter if they hate you now.”
He buttoned his shirt, feeling miserable. Then he looked at the clock, gathered his things and headed off to class.
“Alex!” Taylor, a fellow art student, high-fived as he came in. Alex was touched.
His classmates, at least, seemed pleased to see him. Alex took a seat with Taylor and Darren, and they chatted about music and the latest release by their favorite band.
Class was long and productive, it was a practical class, learning techniques with watercolor paint, and Alex found himself forgetting his worries, soothed by a world of color and brushstrokes. He left the class in a happy zone and drifted back to the dorm around five-thirty in the afternoon.
When he arrived back, Geoff was there. He was pleased.
“Hey,” he greeted him. Geoff looked stressed. He was rushing around the room grabbing things out of his bag, setting up his laptop, shrugging into a jacket.
“Hey,” he said, distracted.
“What's up?”
“I'm in a rush,” Geoff said, which was fairly obvious. Alex grinned.
“You don't say. Why're you rushing?”
“I need to get ready for the team debate,” Geoff said. “I've still got to prepare and then I'm talking first. I've got, like twenty minutes!” He looked stressed.
“I'll leave you to it then,” Alex said amicably, and settled behind his desk while Geoff frantically searched the net for facts.
Ten or twenty minutes later, the key turned in the door. Alex looked up.
“Heads up!” Leighton called out cheerily. He came into the dorm with a large brown bag, out of which wafted a delicious food-smell.
Alex, who had not eaten since breakfast, felt his stomach twist painfully.
“I just went and got takeout,” Leighton explained brightly. “There's enough for all of us. Geoff, Alex?”
“Thanks, Leighton,” Geoff said sincerely. Alex watched, feeling a sudden stab of anger. “I'm heading out, though,” Geoff was continuing. “We have a debate on.”
Why was it that Geoff was always so friendly when it came to Leighton? Alex thought. He seemed to have fixated on him. It was subtle, but Alex noticed. It was annoying because he wished Geoff would notice him.
“Oh,” Leighton shrugged. “Well, more to go around,” he said lightly. Geoff gave him that achingly-sexy grin. The one Alex would have given so much to be seeing.
What is with those two? He thought.
As Geoff shut the door, departing hastily for the debate, Leighton turned to the bed where Alex sat hunched over a book of paint techniques.
“Alex?” he asked. “Would you like some? It's Korean. From the new place that opened.”
“Okay, thanks.” Alex shrugged. He felt a little shy. He was not used to Leighton being so friendly, for a start. And he was still not sure if Leighton had seen his screen.
Leighton rummaged in the paper packet and produced a Styrofoam box. He put it on Alex's desk carefully.
“Here,” he said. He smiled.
“Thanks.”
Alex breathed in, opening the Styrofoam container. The savory smell was wonderful. He waited until Leighton had settled in his own chair and fished out some chopsticks from another bag before he went over to inspect the contents of the carry-box.
While he sampled the food, which was delicious, he wondered what was going on. Leighton was being more than usually kind. And, as far as he could see, only one thing had happened between last week and this one to change things. It was that evening, when he saw the computer screen. Or at least, when he might have seen the computer screen. That, of course, is the problem. Alex did not know. All he knew was that, suddenly, he had started acting differently. With a sort of carefulness that was as puzzling as it was strangely pleasing.
It feels like he's interested, Alex thought, surprised. When he came to put the box on the table, Leighton had been looking at him in a way he was used to, but would not have thought to see coming from him. Alex would never have even considered the possibility that Leighton was gay. Except for the expression he caught on his face now, again, as he looked up from his meal. A watchful expression. A look of lust.
“How is it?” he asked, inquiring.
Alex blinked in surprise. “Good,” he said.
Stop it, Alex, he thought ruefully. Leighton is not interested in you. Geoff, however, might be interested in him. He certainly acted like it.
The thought was sobering. He finished his meal contemplatively, deciding to forget about both Geoff and Leighton and think about his project for the practical course.
“Alex?”
Alex looked up. Leighton was standing opposite him. He had evidently finished his lunch, and was smiling hesitantly at Alex. Alex looked up guardedly.
“Mm?”
“That wasn't bad, was it? I don't know much about Korean food, I have to say. So I can't judge.”
He looked slightly uncomfortable, as if he wasn't sure how his talking would be received. Alex nodded.
“It's good,” he assured him. “Really.”
“Good,” Leighton said, sounding like it really mattered to him. “You've eaten Korean food before?”
“My best friend was Korean, at school,” Alex explained. “Crazy guy. Used to have this stuff in his lunch-pack that was like eating fire.”
Leighton threw back his head and laughed. “Really?” he said when he had recovered. “I don't know any Koreans,” he added. “Or, not very well.”
Alex shrugged.
“You know a lot about other cultures,” Leighton observed after a moment. “And music and stuff.”
“I like music,” Alex agreed. The subject was one about which he could talk forever. He was really into music, particularly the Indie scene. Florence, Arcade Fire, Imagine Dragons...
“Could you show me some?” Leighton asked eagerly. “I mean, I think you know more about it than I do. All I know is the music on the radio.” He gave a self-deprecating chuckle.
Alex raised a brow and felt himself grin. He couldn't help it.
“That's like swearing where I come from. Actually, swearing's fine. Not knowing music, though...that's terrible.” Alex made a face.
Leighton laughed. “Well, then. Educate me.” he spread his hands.
Alex grinned. “Sure. If you pass me my laptop, I'll show you something.”
Leighton went and fetched the laptop from the desk. Then he surprised Alex by coming to sit down next to him on the bed. He was close enough to touch, and Alex could feel his own heart thumping.
He cleared his throat and opened up YouTube.
“Okay,” he said, doing a fake lecturer-voice. “Modern music 101. Lesson 1. Florence and the Machine.”
As Alex found the video, Leighton leaned in to watch it. He was sitting close. Alex could feel the warmth of his muscled body and hear the sound of his breath.
Holy shit, he thought, feeling oddly pleased.
He flipped through to another video, and they watched it. And another.
At some point, he felt Leighton move closer. He looked up to see him looking into his eyes. This close, Leighton had hazel eyes, with tiny flecks of brown. They were very, very still, with that strange yearning look that Alex recognized. Because he had given it before.
He looked inquiringly at Leighton.
Leighton smiled and moved closer. His lips met Alex’s.
Leighton's lips were soft and warm, and he nibbled at Alex’s lips, gently tasting them. Alex felt arousal shoot through his body. He leaned in to the kiss, and allowed Leighton to pry his li
ps apart with his tongue. Alex closed his own eyes and let the sensations race through him. His heart was pounding and he could feel heat flooding his crotch. He pressed closer to Leighton. Their kiss deepened. He felt his own knee pressing against Leighton's muscled leg and he leaned in closer, their bodies welding together even as their mouths, hot and heavy, explored each other.
When they broke the kiss, Leighton was breathing hard. He looked into Alex's eyes. The pale hazel depths took on a glint to them. It was a look that made Alex almost explode with longing.
“Alex,” Leighton said in a voice laden with emotions, “I want to...no, let me show you. If you don't want me to, tell me to stop.”
He moved, then. His lips started at Alex's lips and then moved lower. They kissed a trail down his throat. Alex, who had a guess of what Leighton planned, closed his eyes and leaned back. He could feel his body igniting under those warm, wet lips and he wanted more. He moaned.
“Okay?” Leighton whispered.
“Yes,” he whispered harshly back. He was...so much more than okay. He was floating in an ocean of feelings as Leighton kissed his way down his chest, undoing the buttons as he went. Alex leaned back and fought the urge to press against him. Leighton reached his waist and looked up.
“Yes,” Alex whispered. He couldn't draw breath.
Leighton lowered the fly of his jeans and undid them, then reached inside.
When he felt the hard cock with his fingertip, Alex felt his whole body spasm with delight. He helped wriggle forward so that Leighton could reach. Then, still smiling, Leighton bent down and took him in between his warm, clinging lips.
College Threeway: A First Time Gay Romance (Bareback University) Page 3