So Many Tears 2

by Nicole Jackson

  Kim had no response.

  “Exactly, man. I keep that damn job to make you happy. I’m talking about waking up at six in the morning every day. I do this shit strictly for you at this point. I sit up with you for hours at night, even when I’m tired as hell and let you read them books that you love so much to me. I fuckin’ get off work, make my runs, and then scratch your damn back until you fall asleep every night. And you wanna talk about compromise? I was the nigga who didn’t come inside until the crack of dawn, but now I’m in at the crib no later than 12. And that’s with all the running I do. You don’t see me in the clubs, chasing hoes, trying to be seen. I be trying to get any lil’ time I got available in with you. You get all my fucking attention, Kim. But you gotta know that as a man I don’t want to barely make it. So, this is the grind time. It’s that season. Shit is moving at a fast pace and its hard for me to slow down. That don’t mean that I forgot about you. It’s never that. If anything, I got you in mind, with every move I make. So, yeah, I’m on a paperchase, but instead of you worrying yourself to death, channel some of that energy into finding a way for us to make more money. With the money we already got. Ya dig? Then maybe your worries won’t be no worries.”

  “Okay,” Kim exhaled. “I hear you…now, are you going to try to see about bonding me out? The bond is $30,000.”

  “Bond you out?” he repeated, with a hint of laughter in his voice.

  “Yes, bond me out.”

  “Say,” he drawled. “Go’on head and let them people use the phone, man. Call me back when you talking with some sense.”

  “What you mean? Is that not a legitimate question?”

  “At this point in the game…hell nah.”

  She frowned. “So, exactly what does that mean?”

  “Exactly what I just said,” he chided. “Besides, I’m ‘bout to run up in the spot, right quick.”

  “I can stay on the phone,” she offered. “I been on it this long.”

  He chuckled. “Kimberly, girl, you’s in jail. Other people need to use the phone. The fuck is you on?”

  Kim smacked her lips. “You know, what? Bye, Ion even wanna talk no more.”

  Rashad continued to laugh. “But we still got a few minutes left, jail bird. I bet you stop snatching hoes up, now.”

  “Yeah, okay, laugh now. You won’t be calling me C-girl no more. I’ll be PG to you, if you keep fucking with me,” she promised.

  “PG? The fuck PG stand for?”

  “Pistol Grip, bitch,” she uttered, before abruptly ending the call.

  Spinning around, she strutted past the girls that were gathered around the phones, while they stared her down. She found a small space open against the wall, and leaned her body against it, preparing to scroll through her cell, until it dawned on her. They’d confiscated her damn phone.

  Glancing around the room, Kim realized that there was a mixture of women there, ranging in ages and races. The Mexican women were all huddled up together speaking primarily in Spanish, with the exception of a few that would mingle with their fellow cell mates. The few white women who were there, all appeared to be on some form of drugs, and if Kim had to guess it would be crystal meth. Unfortunately, the biggest population there were the Black women. Of course, there were the old skool crack heads, who’d been in and out of jail for years. Then there were the scuzzy looking prostitute chicks, who weren’t quite crack heads, but had bad drug habits, and pimps awaiting their releases. There were the regular working-class women there for outstanding traffic tickets. Then there were the hood chicks who were either boosters, pill dealers, scammers, or professional drug dealer/jugger daters.

  “Girl, scoot over,” a semi-familiar voice uttered from the opposite side of the large holding tank.

  Kim lifted her head, and an unconscious frown gradually graced her face. Natori had squeezed herself between two thick chicks, which was why Kim probably hadn’t initially noticed her.

  “Bitch, move,” one of the girls groaned, obviously familiar with Natori. “Your lil’ skinny ass been sleeping on me for too damn long. Got my arm numb and shit.”

  Natori giggled. “Fuck you. I told yall to wake me up when these folks call our name. I know Devin done got that bondsmen up here expeditiously,” she bragged. “You know how he is and how that shit go. I spelled yall names for him and that was all he needed. I was like, ‘But bae, the bond is twenty thousand apiece, and he was like and?’” she lifted her palms up. “Right then, I knew to let him handle it. That’s his money. But if it was me, you hoes would be paying me back. On the real.”

  “Bitch, please,” the other girl spoke up. “When is it ever your money? You been spoiled since Zoe, God rest his soul.”

  “True,” the friend with the numb arm co-signed. “That was my nigga there. I shol hate you lost that baby. It would’ve been fucking gorgeous, man.”

  “Girl, I know,” Natori sighed solemnly. “We cried together for days behind that shit. He was hurt.”

  Kim listened intently, surprised with her own emotions. There wasn’t an inch of her that felt any jealousy. She dearly missed Zoe, yes. As a friend. It had been settled in her heart. Zoe’s sole purpose had been to lead her to Rashad. Nothing more.

  “Oh, bitch, that’s what I was gonna say,” the friend with the numb arm voiced. “Shit, if Devin didn’t come through, your spoiled ass could’ve even called um Rashad. They say that nigga’s eating. Hoe, why you aint tell us that boy was on like that?”

  Naturally, Kim’s ears perked.

  Natori rolled her eyes. “Girl, fuck him.”

  “Fuck him? I thought yall was tight like that. I mean, what happened?”

  Natori bit her bottom lip. “A bitch was in a fucked-up head space after Zoe died and he took advantage of that.”

  “How? The fuck did you do, hoe?”

  Natori slightly tilted her head. “I aint gon lie. We fucked around and he got his feelings in it. Got mad cause I was talking to somebody else and got Zoe’s hoe ass mama to put me out. Girl, just a bunch of bullshit.”

  “Well, shit,” the other friend interjected. “If I was you, I’d forgive his ass. They say he’s balling in the mix, bitch,” she used an old classic Houston rap lyric. “I mean, Devin is my boy and all, but Rashad is getting to the money. I seen that fine muthafucka pulling up in a Benz at the Gallo. He was with some pregnant girl, though.”

  “A Benz?” Natori’s eyes bucked. “A pregnant girl? When was this?”

  “It was a lil’ minute ago, honestly.”

  “How she look?” Natori was dying to know, as jealousy coursed through her body.

  “I mean, she was pregnant for one, hell,” the friend responded. “But from what I could tell, she had a real nice shape. A real big booty. Hell, maybe he bought it for her. You never know these days. She was cute in the face. Light brown complexion. I spoke to him and she rolled her eyes at me, bitch,” she giggled.

  “I wish I would’ve been there,” Natori scoffed. “I would’ve tripped that hoe.”

  Kim pushed herself off the wall. “And your ass would’ve got dropped trying to play with me, with ya lying ass. Rashad has never stuck his dick in you, even though you tried to force the pussy on him. I read the text messages, bitch. If you can lie on your pussy, you’ll lie about anything. That man literally drew down on you when you tried to go up in his pants while he was sleeping. You know he’s paranoid and sleeps with that thang next to his head,” she blasted. “Damn, near got your head blown off, trying to suck some dick.”

  The tank exploded with laughter and chatter, after Kim finished going in.

  Some random girl spoke up. “Well, alrighty then. When keeping it real, and jail story time goes wrong. This shit is getting juicy. All I need is some fucking popcorn.”

  Another girl chimed in. “Well, I’m inclined to believe the one in the two thousand-dollar Chanel’s, bitch. They say, Rashad, whoever that is, is getting to the money. And Ms. Chanel looks like she’s wearing it, ba-by.”

  “I bet
yall won’t square up,” a notably masculine chick instigated.

  Natori’s girl with the numb arm rolled her eyes. “Girl, your bull dagger ass can square up. We waiting to go home. The fuck we look like fighting and catching another case in this bitch?”

  “Shit,” a crack head looking woman hissed. “That’s what ya thank ya doing. Tha way ya home girl telling lies and living out fantasies, don’t be surprised if that so-called bond don’t go through for yall asses.”

  Natori snobbishly examined her fingernails. “I aint about to go back and forth with a pass around. Last time I checked, she was Zoe’s side bitch, but now she’s fucking Rashad. Okay. Bitch, please.”

  Just then, the cell’s door popped open and in stepped a black correctional officer. “Okay, ladies, quiet down. I need Natori Odem—”

  “Excuse me, ma’am,” a Mexican woman interrupted.

  “Yeah?” the correctional officer stopped to ask, clearly agitated.

  “What is this list for?”

  The correctional officer rolled her eyes. “This is for people getting bonded out. Now, like I was saying, I need Natori Odem—”

  Natori stood up, feeling cocky, proving the haters wrong at God’s speed.

  “Kimberly Bell,” the officer called out, as she continued to list names.

  Kim sighed with relief as she headed over to the line forming at the door.

  “Wait a minute,” some hood looking chick sputtered. “I know for a fact that my people bonded me out. I was on the phone with them while they completed the paperwork. So, I know that I’m going home, and everybody name you called has been sitting here longer than me. So, I’m trying to figure out how she been in here the least amount of time and is already going home?”

  Everybody glanced back at Kim.

  “Yeah,” another chick standing in line co-signed. “I aint gon lie, I was thinking the same thing. Everybody knows that it’s a process to get out of here, and I aint never seen nobody do a turn around that fast. Especially ahead of other people that’s bonding out too.”

  The same crack head lady spoke again. “Didn’t yall hear? Rashad getting that money. His gal in here for going across a hoe head or something,” she grinned revealing nothing but gums. All her teeth were completely gone. “I peeped them assault charges. She ‘bout that action, baby. She told that nigga to call her Pistol Grip before she hung up on him. And look at her. Going home before all you hoes. Get like her big fine ass. She must know something we don’t.”

  Once again, the tank exploded into laughter. Even the correctional officer had to giggle. The only people who weren’t laughing was Natori and her two associates. The CO was done with the list and their names hadn’t been called.

  “Wait a minute,” some middle-aged Black woman halted everyone from the bench she sat on. “What’s going on, two besties?” she addressed Natori’s people. “Yall done got quiet? Your spoiled ass friend that can get these niggas to bend over ass backwards said that her dude just needed your names. But yet, yall still sitting here with us.”

  Ole girl with the numb arm snarled. “That’s what the fuck I’m saying. Natori, if the nigga didn’t bond us out like you said he did, then just call my mama on your cell phone, when you get it back. Let her know that we down here and we need bond money. And tell her to put some money on the phone, cause I know they finna bring our asses upstairs in a minute.”

  The other friend didn’t bother saying anything to Natori as she sprung to her feet. “Man, fuck this. Let me call my damn granny.” She headed to the free phones.

  Natori shrugged everybody off. At the end of the day, she was going home. Anything else could be sorted out, once she was free.

  After standing in a few lines, Kim anxiously retrieved her personal property and powered on her cell. Placing the phone to her ear, she called Rashad.

  “I’m outside,” he answered immediately.

  She frowned in confusion. “Uh, you…you don’t need to know where I am or anything?”

  “Nah. All inmates get released from the same spot, regardless of what building you was being held at,” he let her know. “So, like I said, I’m outside.” He ended the call.

  “Hello, where you at?” Natori could be heard speaking into her cell. “I need you to come get me,” she expressed, as she walked a few feet behind Kim, while they both exited the building.

  Kim traveled while busying herself with snapping her Chanel fanny pack around her waist. Natori made sure to step behind her, watching her every move. After glancing around the lot, Kim spotted Rashad’s truck and moseyed over to it. When she tugged at the passenger’s door and he didn’t immediately unlock it for her, she snapped.

  “See, Rashad, nobody got time for this bullshit!” she shouted, as she slapped the window, before abruptly attempting to stomp off.

  Before she could get far, his door swung open, and he hopped out of the truck. “Girl, bring your sensitive ass on. I was in there talking on the phone and didn’t realize that you’d walked up. It aint that serious,” he claimed, while snatching her up and guiding her back to his awaiting vehicle. “So, chill out.”

  “Move,” she pouted. “I’m not finna play with you. It’s early in the damn morning. I know my damn breath is probably stanking. I need to get my kids and wash my ass. Nobody got time for this shit.”

  “I know, I know,” he spoke soothingly.

  “My eyes must be playing tricks on me,” Natori blurted, from the sidewalk, causing them both to lift their heads.

  “This bitch,” Rashad vocalized without mincing his words.

  “Excuse you?” Natori bucked her eyes.

  “Bitch, you heard me. I aint stutter.”

  Rapidly Natori blinked her eyes, as this conversation took a sharp turn she wasn’t expecting. “I’m trying to figure out what’s your beef. I mean, you the one standing here with a hoe that ya nigga used to poke on, after you tried to play righteous with me and Connie.”

  Rashad sucked his teeth. “Me not fucking you just means I got a half of a brain. Aint got shit to do with me being righteous. Hoe, I never made that claim. You just never been my speed. Before or after Zoe. But fuck all that. I aint finna stand here and spit box with you, when the only reason you aint swallowing this pistol is because we outside of this jail house. You think that I didn’t realize that you gave them niggas the key to the crib and had them waiting on me?”

  “What?” Natori’s heart dropped down to her toes. “What are you talking about?”

  “Bitch, you know exactly what I’m talking about, and you gon have to see me. That’s on everything I love. So, watch ya walk ‘round here.” Rashad glanced at Kim as he unlocked her door. “Get in, man.”

  Natori gulped, as she watched him climb into his Benz truck. At that moment, she’d never been more grateful to be surrounded by law enforcement, because the one thing she knew about Rashad was that he never made idle threats.

  Chapter 2

  Impatiently, Kim rocked her foot, fighting against herself. She really wanted to turn over a new leaf, but Rashad was truly trying her. Instead of going directly to scoop up their children to give her a peace of mind, he pulled in their driveway, while their kids were with people that she’d never met a day in her life. It was one thing for Rashad to entrust in his grandma while in a state of emergency, however, she was home now, and she wanted her kids back in her care ASAP.

  Sensing her irritation, Rashad turned to her, as he killed the ignition. “What now, man?”

  “Why didn’t you go get the kids?” she cut straight to the chase.

  “Cause,” he yawned. “It’s some shit we need to discuss, before I go and handle what I gotta handle. I’ll go get the kids before I go do that.”

  She hooded her eyes. “Discuss what?”

  “Get out the truck and come see,” he offered, before easing out of the Benz himself.

  Right then, Kim knew that she was in for some bullshit, so she braced herself, before exiting the truck. She then followed him into
their home. Swaggering into the middle of the living room, Rashad turned to face her.

  “So, what’s up, Kim?”

  Her eyes confusingly wandered around the room. “What’s up?”

  “I’m saying. Are you in this shit or what?”

  “Yes, Rashad.” She bucked her eyes. “I’m in this. Duh. Two kids later and now you wanna ask that?”

  “Shit, clearly the kids aint got nothing to do with this, Kim, so stop it,” he established. “We both say that we aint trying to play house, just for the sake of the babies, cause that shit usually don’t turn out right. You was talking big shit and now I want some clarity. Is this what you want? Whether I’m legit or not?”

  She gulped. “This is what I want, Rashad.”

  “So, when shit gets hard for you, you gonna do what?” he furrowed his brows.

  She huffed, causing him to shake his head.

  “Nah, don’t get quiet on me now. Tell a nigga what you gonna do, Kimberly.”

  She exhaled. “Come and talk to you, even if I think that I’m getting on your nerves.”

  “And let me tell you something else.” He inched closer. “You giving into temptation with the next nigga aint gon make me get my shit together and fly straight. Especially when I aint fucking over you. If anything, everything between us will change, the minute I gotta really question your loyalty. Cause that fucking around shit aint for us. Another bitch will never be a problem between us and that’s on my kids.”

  Hearing that proclamation sent chills up and down her spine. Biblically she’d been taught to never put her faith in a man, but something inside of her believed every word he’d uttered. The truth rested in Rashad’s eyes and they told no lies. He was serious, and she knew right then that her ass was in this with him for real, and she would no longer fight it.

  “Bae, I was just talking out of anger. The least of my concerns are getting with another man,” she promised.

  He slowly nodded. “Yeah, I hear you, but you still fucked me up with that shit. I aint even gon lie.”