So Many Tears 2

by Nicole Jackson

  Kim shook her head. “Not really. At least not Moet or whatever.”

  “Well, I’m surprised that Rye hasn’t tried to corrupt ya, cause that hoe loves to turn up a bottle,” Keyasia tittered.

  Jazel snickered. “Yes in fucking deed. That bitch can chug a bottle down like it’s nothing. Her and Jhyrah.”

  Kim giggled. “She’s always riding my back, trying to get me to come out more. I’ve been trying lately, but I can’t keep up with her and Anya, so I don’t even try. I be trying to be at home by the time Rashad gets in, and they always swear that I’m the lamest for that. But I keep telling them, we just have a routine, and it works for us. You know?”

  Once again, all three women gave each other looks, before they exploded with laughter.

  “They got a routine,” Jazel regurgitated. “Okay, sis. We’ll see how long that shit stands, after today.”

  Keyasia shook her head, as she giggled. “Yall cut her some slack. She don’t know how this shit goes yet.”

  “Aww,” Taraj cooed. “Well, bless her poor heart.”

  Kim narrowed her eyes. “Am I missing something?”

  Taraj licked her lips. “Do you know what’s up between Taz and Rashad?”

  “Yeah, pretty much,” Kim admitted with a head nod.

  “Okay, well, that’s being expanded upon today,” Taraj clarified.

  “Oh,” Kim uttered, dissecting what she’d just heard. “I got you.”

  “Yeah, and we’re here to tell you that dealing with niggas who do what they do, there’s no such thing as developing routines,” Jazel added. “It’s a whole lot of odd hours and running around involved in it. Trust me. I be ready to wring Craven’s neck half the damn time.”

  Keyasia pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.”

  “Okay, now I’m confused,” Kim voiced as she scratched her head.

  “Confused about what?” Keyasia arched a brow.

  Kim tucked her lips into her mouth. “Not to be in your business, but Rye mentioned your man having a few businesses, and Rashad makes it seem like the minute he can legitimize some things that he’s done. So, I don’t understand the point of these guys hustling, if it’s not absolutely necessary.”

  Rubbing the side of her neck, Keyasia shook her head. “Girl, don’t feel bad. I used to sound just like you. I thought that as long as we had a couple of dollars…and love; that was all we needed. But shit just aint that simple. Yes, we have investments. But business fluctuates. And honestly, we’ve grown accustomed to a lifestyle that requires X amount of fluid money monthly. Yes, we have money put away for rainy days. Yes, we have investments. But I don’t think that Corinthian has reached the amount of cash flow that he’s comfortable in the long run with. He’s working on it, and there is a certain goal he intends to reach, before he’s willing to walk away from hustling.”

  “But I see yall doing your thing,” Kim reasoned. “Even with you constantly doing bookings, doing promos on the Gram, and everything else, he still has to do that?”

  Taraj smirked. “That Gram money is cool, girl, but nothing is guaranteed with that.”

  “Better tell her,” Jazel offered.

  “But beyond that,” Taraj continued. “These niggas over here aint finna let their gals carry them in no shape or form. It simply aint happening.”

  “True,” Keyasia concurred. “At least the shit they’re doing these days is real low key. The pills and weed game is different from the dope game. They actually have a lot of white collar cliental, and shit stays quiet.”

  “Yeah, that end does offer more peace than the other side,” Jazel admitted. “But the vultures and the groupies still come packaged the same.”

  Kim arched a brow. “Groupies? How do yall deal with that?”

  Keyasia shrugged. “Shit, from day to day, we just live. I know hoes be on dick. Aint no way around it. So, I just gotta have faith in that nigga knowing what he has at home.”

  Jazel nodded. “That part.”

  Taraj rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, I have my own unconventional ways of dealing with these hoes, but that’s another conversation for another day. But let’s just say this…Taz aint going nowhere. I made sure of that.”

  Keyasia cut her eyes at Taraj. “See, that’s why Ion be eating your food and shit. You keep saying that. I think you went to see them voodoo people and think we don’t know, bitch. You be mighty sure of this nigga not going nowhere. And he seems unmovable—”

  “Like a muthafucka,” Jazel tittered.

  “I’m saying,” Keyasia carried on. “What you did, Taraj? We aint gon tell nobody. You put some blood in that nigga’s spaghetti, huh?”

  Taraj narrowed her eyes. “Hoe, what you worried about it for? Just know that he aint going nowhere. If I tell you how, then I’ll have to kill ya.”

  “Okay,” Kim stressed, as she placed her glass to her lips. Listening to them go back and forth, she realized that there were clearly some things that she and Rashad would have to discuss later.

  ***

  While Rashad drove them home from Taz’s, Kim was staring a hole into the side of his face. After literally staying tucked away in the den talking for hours, the men eventually emerged, entering the kitchen, appearing smoked out. Had the women not clued Kim in, she would’ve naïvely assumed that they’d been simply having their guy time, but she knew better. And now, she was waiting on Rashad to mention his new business endeavors. The possibility of him attempting to leave her in the dark was slowly infuriating her, as he seemed to ignore her staring.

  Finally, he broke the silence. “Man, what you looking at?”

  She exhaled. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  He smiled pessimistically. “There you go with the fuck shit. Is there something on your mind, Kimberly?”

  She studied him for a few long seconds, before rolling her eyes. “Nope.”

  This time he laughed with sincerity. “Man, I got the craziest girl in the world. I swear, man. But anyway, man, we need to talk about some shit. I was trying to wait for the right time, but I guess it needs to be now, cause you acting crazy, and I aint got time.”

  She folded her arms across her breasts and pursed her lips. “I’m listening.”

  He cut his eyes at her and shook his head. “Yeah, I bet you are. Anyway, man, I was in there talking with Taz nem. Some shit finna shake up for me. Majorly. It’s gonna spell out more money for us, and it will just get us closer to really having shit our way in the long run. Know what I’m talkin’ bout’?”

  “Okay,” Kim nodded, while silently breathing a sigh of relief. He wasn’t shutting her out.

  Rashad licked his lips. “So, bae, look, I know that you liked the fact that I still had the legal job, but I gotta let it go.”

  She gasped. “You what? No, wait. Rashad, you told me that this hustling shit was supposed to be a side thing, and now you want to quit your job? Come on now. That’s not what we agreed to—"

  “Kim, I know what I said,” he cut her off. “I swear I do. And I been trying my hardest to keep my word. Truth is, I’ve been keeping that job just to make you happy. That shit is providing pocket change in comparison to what I’m making on the streets, right now. And with me picking up more on the streets, and still trying to balance being there for you and the babies, I’d be spreading myself too thin. Think about it, Kim. Look at how I get in late as hell, right now. Now think about how it’ll be with expanded business. Between that and work, I’d never be at home.”

  “But the job provides security—”

  “Security?” Rashad frowned. “Kim, since when is working for somebody else considered guaranteed security? I’m trying to make some moves so that we can have our own shit. Have our own business soon. Create our own security that nobody can take from us. I just gotta jump out here and take some chances, right now. And I can do it with full confidence if you tell me that you got me. I promise, that’s all I need from you, bae.”

  Closing her eyes, Kim rested th
e back of her head against the headrest. Taking a deep breath, she nodded her head. “Okay, Rashad. If this is what you want to do, then I got you. I’m down. However it goes.”

  Gradually, he smiled. “That’s what’s up, bae. And it’s on. I got you. I won’t let you down. I put that on everything I love.”

  Chapter 7

  “Hello,” Kim answered her cell.

  “Aye, where you at?” Rashad questioned on the other end of the phone.

  “Umm, I’m riding with Anya and Taraj,” she revealed, which had become the norm for her. Taraj, Keyasia, Jazel, Rye, and Anya were her running buddies, and she was now seizing any opportunity to kick it. Gone were the days of her needing his urging. She now had no qualms about hopping up and hitting the scene. “Why, what’s up?”

  “You gon pull up at the crib for a lil’ minute or what?”

  “I hadn’t planned on it,” she responded curtly. “I thought that it was already established that we was doing our thing tomorrow. We kinda have plans today.”

  Anya shoved her shoulder from the backseat. “Really, bitch?”

  Kim glanced back at her friend. “What?”

  Taraj shook her head, as she gripped the steering wheel of her Porsche.

  “Kim, you for real, right now?” Rashad pressed, recapturing her attention.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  Frustrated, he sighed heavily. “Alright, man. Let me hit you right back.”

  “Okay,” Kim agreed before ending the call.

  “You cold, bitch,” Anya clamored from the backseat. “That man just went all out for your birthday. Copped you the new fucking Audi truck today, and you’re giving him your ass to kiss, just a few hours later. I honestly don’t get you.”

  “Yeah, friend. I was shocked as fuck that you hopped in the car with us, after that nigga surprised you with the new truck today,” Taraj added. “I thought that you would’ve at least wanted to ride around in your new whip or something. You just burnt off on the man. I don’t know what the hell that’s all about.”

  Kim absently gazed out of the window. “Well, like yall said, it’s my birthday, and I did what I wanted to do. And I mean, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the truck. Lord knows that I appreciate Rashad and everything he does for me. Don’t get it twisted. Gifts and all that stuff is cool. But half the day is gone and I haven’t heard from my mama…haven’t heard from her in days…you know what, it don’t even matter.”

  The car grew silent, as they realized Kim’s real dilemma. This was something that they couldn’t just help her laugh off. Holidays and birthdays were extremely difficult for her without one of the most important persons in her life there to share it with.

  Taraj cleared her throat. “Aye, I can’t pretend to know how that feels. I don’t miss one thing about my trifling ass mama, who is as free as a bird the last time I checked. But I’ll just say this. As fucked up as your situation is, at least you know that your mama has a out date. You know that eventually she’s coming home to you and your babies. I’m sure she’ll love on yall and make up for lost time. Yall can catch up. Basically, you have something to look forward to,” she smiled weakly. “Kim, I don’t even have that. And I’d kill to just have a mama in jail with no extra shit attached to it. So, consider yourself lucky.”

  Hearing that, Kim gulped, because she had never looked at her situation quite like that. “I feel you, friend, but you do have something to look forward to. I’ll share my mama with you. Her heart’s big enough.” She winked, right before her cell rang. Glancing down at the screen, she saw that it was Glenda. “Yes, auntie, what’s up?” she answered on speaker.

  “Hey, baby girl, where you at?” Glenda questioned.

  “Riding with my girls. Why, what’s up?”

  “Uh…when are you coming back this way?”

  “Later this evening, I guess.”

  “Later this evening? Oh, no. There’s no way that you can stop by now?”

  Kim scowled. “For what?”

  “Kimberly Bell, really? It’s your damn birthday. Why the hell are you running around with your friends, instead of being here with this boy, after he done spent all this damn money on your ass?”

  Kim clutched her forehead. “Lady, are you serious, right now? I’ma need you to get you some business,” she grumbled. “And why are you trying to get me back to that house? What’s going on?” she questioned suspiciously.

  “Aint nothing going on,” Glenda denied. “What’s going on with you? Why are you hell bent on spending your birthday away from your kids and the rest of your loved ones?”

  “I got plans with my friends.”

  Glenda sucked her teeth. “Girl, please. Bring your ass home, Kimberly.”

  “I told you that I’m not coming home ‘til later, lady.”

  “Nah, you need ta bring ya ass now.”

  Kim pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, bye, lady, cause I can’t do this with you. Not today. Bye.”

  “Like I said, bring ya ass home,” Glenda reiterated.

  Kim giggled. “Girl, bye.”

  Both Anya and Taraj shook their heads, as she ended the call.

  Glancing around, Kim narrowed her eyes as the surroundings were beginning to look too familiar. “Hey, what the hell? Taraj, how the hell did we end up down the street from my house?”

  Taraj attempted to keep a straight face, while ignoring her.

  “Hello,” Kim stressed. “Earth to Taraj. You don’t hear me talking to you?” she waved her hands. “This girl is really gonna keep driving like she doesn’t hear me. I know one thing, though. You better not turn on my damn street.”

  Anya was in the backseat trembling with laughter, as Taraj eased onto Kim’s street.

  “Oh, so, you bitches thinks this shit is funny, huh?” Kim looked back and forth between the two. Taraj was trying her mightiest to hold in her laughter, while Anya was outwardly laughing her ass off.

  Taraj finally released a chortle, as she pulled in front of Kim’s house. She couldn’t pull into the driveway because there were too many cars parked there, much to Kim’s dismay.

  “The fuck is this?” Kim fussed. “I specifically told these muthafuckas that I didn’t want a fucking party. And then you bitches was in on it too? Just fuck what I say, huh?”

  Taraj crinkled her nose. “Ewe, girl, are you on your period or something, because all this bitching is just uncalled for. These damn people done came together for your ungrateful ass, and all you can do is complain.”

  Anya gave Kim the side eye. “I’m saying.”

  “I’m saying. What’s a party without,” Kim’s voice cracked. For a few seconds, she fell silent, attempting to gather her composure, hoping not to fall apart. A few tears slipped from her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. “Yall right,” she sniveled. “I’m tripping. Let’s just go in here and get this shit over with.”

  All three women exited the car, before trekking up the driveway. Allowing Kim to lead the way, they ambled into the house, and sure enough, a party comprised of family and friends was awaiting her.

  “Happy birthday to ya!” everyone chanted Stevie Wonder’s rendition of the song, ranging from her grandmother to Rye and a few of her family members who’d gotten familiar with Kim.

  Glenda loudly clapped her hands. “That’s right! Happy birthday, niece. With ya difficult ass.”

  Kim stood in the middle of her living room, glancing around at all the faces surrounding her. The one that was noticeably missing was Rashad’s. Realizing that, she caught an attitude all over again.

  “Yall just had to have this party, huh?” she addressed Glenda. “I see that you and Rashad don’t listen. Wasting all this time and money, and then he aint even here. Not to mention we haven’t heard from your sister all week. I’m halfway tempted to call down there to that prison and ask them what the hell is going on. She knows it’s my birthday but aint called yet. I bet she called her three lil’ boyfriends, though. Did she call you?” she rambled.

 
Everybody stood back laughing, because they knew that Kim was merely spoiled when it came to Kay. Since money wasn’t the issue, Kay had a calling card where she could call any and everyone freely, and she took full advantage of it. Crazily, although locked up, she didn’t have time to call everyone daily. In between keeping in touch with a host of friends and family, along with her men friends who’d all fallen helplessly in love, she seemingly never had enough time on the phones. Therefore, she didn’t call everyone daily. Everyone was usually understanding of this, of course, with the exception of her one and only daughter.

  “Girl, quit all that damn fussing and complaining,” Glenda chided, as she swooped up baby Rashad.

  Reanah came waddling over, patting Kim’s thigh. “Ma-ma.”

  Kim glanced down at her baby, ruffling her fluffy ponytail. “What’s up, stinky girl?” she lifted her head and eyed her aunt. “Where’s her daddy? He went against my requests but didn’t even bother showing his face. That’s exactly what I be talking about. But that’s your boy. You be so quick to praise him. But where’s your favorite nephew at now?”

  Glenda was about to read her from front to back, but before that could happen, the front door was pushed opened. Someone stepped inside carrying so many ‘Happy Birthday’ balloons and roses that the face couldn’t be made out. Without seeing the carrier, everyone, including Kim, knew that it was Rashad’s doing, which shut her ass right up.

  Marching around the person carrying the balloons, Rashad smiled, donning black and white Givenchy. “Yeah, I know your ass been in here talking shit.”

  Kim sucked her teeth. “Whatever.”

  He pointed a stern finger. “You better adjust that attitude, girl.”

  “Oh, she’s gonna adjust it, alright,” a voice spoke up from behind the balloons, causing everyone in the room to gasp. “And I don’t know if yall already sang happy birthday, but we’re about to do it now!”

  “Mama!” Kim yelped, as she watched Kay hand off the balloons and flowers to Rashad. Wasting no time, she raced over, wrapping her arms around her mother. Emotionally, she rested her head on Kay’s shoulder and wept.