Raw (Raw Instinct Book 1)

by Lee Quail

  Raw reached out and lifted his chin. “It’s over between me and Caine. He’s in the past, Ed. I built this wall around me because I didn’t want to get hurt, instead, I hurt you. I don’t deserve you because you’re in a different league but I can’t go a day without seeing you or hearing your voice.”

  “You’re saying this because you don’t want me fooling around. You haven’t shown me any affection.”

  “This is from here,” he pointed to his heart. “How can you say I never showed you? We’ve kissed and held hands. How can you not see?”

  “No, Raw. It’s something else. You’re trying too hard, man. You’re not even ready to accept yourself, let alone have feelings for me or anyone else for that matter. You need to come out because I don’t hide who I am.”

  Raw didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Edward and brought him into his space with a kiss that left him breathless.

  “Is that answer enough?”

  “I’m not convinced,” Edward said.

  Not convinced? They were standing in front of Curisco’s gym for god’s sake. Outside. In the open. In public. Not convinced?

  “Didn’t you enjoy it?”

  “I didn’t feel it.”

  “And this?” Raw kissed him again, this time softer and more intimate.

  “It’s better, but I’m still feeling I should walk away.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Nope.” Edward gripped Raw’s face “How about this?”

  Edward’s kiss was soft and gentle, wet and inviting. His tongue gently caressed the inside of Raw’s mouth and licked the stubble beard on his chin.

  “I’m not prepared to share you, Raw.”

  “You won’t have to.”

  Neither of them saw Anita or Curisco gather at the top of the steps. Anita nudged Curisco. “I should have brought popcorn.” Giggling like a schoolgirl, she turned and walked back inside. Curisco followed a moment later.

  Stepping out of Edward’s embrace, Raw said, “I think you had better say hello to Curisco.”

  Curisco pointed to the milk on a silver tray. “Want milk?” He asked.

  “Awesome, thanks, Dad. I’m sure Edward wants too.” Edward nodded.

  “That’s a first. You look fit, Edward. What happened that we haven’t seen you for two weeks?”

  “I had a few issues, some guys attacked me.”

  “I know that. Are you sure that’s all? Is there something you both want to tell me?”

  “What are you talking about?” Raw asked, frowning.

  “I’m talking about you and Edward. I watched you from the steps kissing each other.”

  “It’s not what you think, dad…”

  “Shut the fuck up! I’ve had enough of your stories. Up to here, understand. I know you are gay, Rawson.” Again, that name. “I’ve watched you two. And I’m glad it’s Edward. He’s a good boy. He’s the son-in-law I had always hoped for. I wish only happiness for you two. A few months ago you were deep in shit; you had lost your way. You lost fights. You were even losing your mind. And then Angie brought this beautiful man here and suddenly you’re awake. Alert. Like you’ve found your way. I was so happy for you. I waited for you to say something. Anything. It was as if I didn’t exist for you. As if I stood in the way of you and your happiness.” Curisco’s lips trembled. His voice cracked. “All I ever wanted was for you to trust me enough to be honest with me. You never did. All you could think was how much of a bastardo I am. How I push you. Push you. Push you to better yourself. You never gave me the time of day. But now, I am telling you from my heart, I am happy for you. I have the son I have always wanted. You are human. Not gay or straight or wicked or evil or good. You are human. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  Raw sat on the couch massaging his knuckles. Tears flooded his eyes and rolled down his cheeks onto the chair in little droplets of renewed life.

  He had no words.

  “Did you think I would disown you?”

  Raw nodded. “My worst fear, Dad.”

  “I am not a screaming homophobe. I accepted Angie’s son. You saw that.” He made the sign of the cross. “May his soul rest in peace.”

  “I know you cared for him. I was scared, Dad. I didn’t want to let you down.”

  “You will never let me down, my boy. Never. Now stop being scared and come here.” He reached out for Raw with both arms. “I love you, son. And I think you and Edward should go wherever you go for the afternoon. Take time off to be with each other.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Go before I change my mind. Maybe I’ll jump on Tumblr and check out all the male talent.”

  10

  At Edward’s apartment, in the shower, the water felt like a million pinpricks as it washed over Edward’s body. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall.

  Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in.

  Although the attack was two weeks ago, he still thought about it. That random act of violence had never been a possibility in his mind. It always happened to other people. In a moment, it had altered his values; his sexual exclusivity formed part of his morality. The attack only made him feel even stronger about his identity. Those men who had attacked him had learned from an early age their heterosexuality had far more value, and it stemmed from ignorance. From the moment they had met him they had a plan. But Edward couldn’t be sure that it was a homophobic attack. From the way their conversation went, they certainly came across as gay.

  He straightened his body and raised his hands behind his head in frustration. His throat constricted into a tight gear lock while he tried desperately to stem the flow of emotion. Try as he might, he would never forget the moment when the first punch landed. In a boxing tournament, it would have been the money punch, resounding like a crack of thunder across the room.

  He sank to his knees and allowed the water to massage his back and his thoughts changed to Raw, seated in the lounge and listening to music. Who would have thought that Raw had feelings for him? Too good to be true. Maybe he was in a fairytale and this was the beginning of the worst to come. He stood and swiped his hand over his head, then opened his eyes to reach for the shower gel and smiled graciously.

  Raw stood naked, staring at him, not saying a word. Edward stared right back for several moments.

  “I’m so sorry about all this,” Edward whispered, closing his eyes, wishing he could disappear.

  “None of this was your fault, Ed. Stop blaming yourself.” Raw stepped into his space and gently brought his body against Edward’s fine, tattooed skin.

  “What’s happening?” Edward opened his eyes as their skin connected in a feather-light touch. A warm tingle swept throughout his being and suddenly all the pain vanished. The touch sent all the right messages up to Edward’s brain and down to his cock.

  “You want this. I can feel it,” Raw whispered in his ear. “You want and I want and what’s to stop us?”

  Their lips touched lightly. Forcing Raw’s mouth open, Edward pushed his tongue deep inside. Raw didn’t press too hard, his tongue reached out and wrapped itself around Edward’s tongue.

  At last, Edward meant something to someone. The anguish of not belonging after all those years of loneliness, dissipated, as if the gushing water had simply washed the anguish away forever. This moment represented the culmination of his patience, and a validation of the feelings he had for Raw. Raw’s hands were like grease as it slid over Edward’s entire body with his cock placed neatly between Edward’s legs. Edward clinched his thigh muscles and gripped Raw’s throbbing cock like a vice.

  Raw moaned in Edward’s ear. “The day we met when I was recovering in hospital, you did something to me no one has ever done, you stared at me long and hard. Remember? You hid behind Angie and stared at me. I thought this is the man. Finally. This is the guy who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.”

  “I felt you too, under my skin. Like now.”

  Edward reached down and gently swiped his hands across R
aw’s tight buns. With his middle finger, he tickled Raw’s hole then gently placed his finger on his bud and let it sleep there.

  “Stay there. I want this so much,” Raw whispered, rolling his eyes.

  Edward didn’t need much persuading. He slowly stimulated the lips of Raw’s hole.

  As Edward pushed his finger by incremental fractions, he licked and bit Raw’s earlobe and whispered breathlessly. “I want you to love me. I want you to make love to me.”

  Edwards' finger reached its full length and he gently pulled out. “You’re all I think about,” he said, pushing his finger back in. “You’re all I care about. If you’re unhappy, I’m unhappy. If you’re not eating, I’m not eating.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, Ed,” Raw said.

  “It’s a risk I’m prepared to take. It’s a risk we share.”

  Edward lifted Raw’s head with his free hand and for the first time saw the tears slipping down Raw’s cheeks.

  “I’m scared.”

  “Don’t be scared of me, Raw. Love me.” Edward placed his fingers over Raw’s lips. “Shhh, no more talking.”

  Gently, Edward let his tongue loose in the wet, warm cavity of Raw’s mouth. He reached behind his back and closed the streaming water.

  Raw pulled back, breathless, and began kissing each tattooed rose on Edward's body; the one on his neck dedicated to his deceased mother, the one below his left nipple; “For Love”, and the one below his belly button with the inscription, “Love Is”. He kissed Edward’s washboard abs and followed his treasure trail right down to his cock, the only part of his upper body left untouched by the needle of his tattoo artist.

  Raw kissed Edward’s chest down to his genitals and caressed the one side of his cock, teasing him with hot, fiery breath. His tongue, as light as a feather, travelled up his shaft where he stopped for a moment in the expectation of a drowning.

  Edward’s cock dribbled with precum and it fell onto Raw’s tongue. Suddenly, Raw engulfed his cock with his mouth and it hit the back of his throat.

  “Fuck!” Edward exclaimed. His gaze not wondering far from Raw’s mouth as it sucked on his cock. Raw’s perfect mouth enveloped Edward’s perfect cock. Edward felt blessed being in the mouth of an artist painting his manhood with smudges of pleasure. Using his tongue as a brush filling in all the wanton gaps. The stares Raw shared with Edward’s beautiful eyes made Edward push to the back of Raw’s throat, demanding satisfaction, until Raw couldn’t breathe and lifted his mouth off his cock with a long string of saliva. Edward lifted Raw off his knees and kissed him passionately but gently, careful not to inflame his lips.

  Raw kissed Edward’s nose and sucked on his chin, brought his mouth to Edward’s nipple and bit them over their sensitive area. Found his six-pack and poured saliva like rain into the hills and valleys of each ab.

  Stepping out of the shower, they didn’t even bother to dry themselves. Edward pulled Raw to the stairs leading up to the main landing. They took turns sucking each other as they climbed the steps to Edward’s room.

  On one step Raw gently bent Edward over.

  “Do what you want. I need you.” Edward assured him.

  Raw spread Edward’s buns apart, placed his tongue over his asshole, licked, and tickled his tight rosebud until it relaxed. Like darting arrows, Raw shot his tongue into Edward’s hole.

  Each step felt as if they were ascending beyond the limits of their vulnerabilities. Giving of each other in a way neither of them had ever experienced.

  Edward reached for Raw’s fully throbbing cock. Raw fucked the palm of Edward’s hand and loaded spurts of precum in it and when Edward took his cock in his mouth, Raw exclaimed, “Yes, suck my cock, you fucking beautiful man. Suck it nice and gentle.”

  Another step up, Edward bent Raw over and spread his legs wide. He dug into Raw’s rosebud, already relaxed from finger play earlier. Raw gripped the rail and groaned.

  “Fuck, that’s amazing. Jesus.”

  Edward loved playing in Raw’s backyard. He drew stars, zigzags, spirals, rings, quick dots, long strokes and tickled his hole with the tip of his tongue, then thrust it in as deep as it could go. He made a small “o” with his lips and blew on it like putting out a candle on a cake. Raw moaned with the tingling feeling of expectation. Edward paused and dived in.

  “Oh, my God!” Raw exclaimed, then stepped onto the next rung.

  “I want you with all my heart and soul, Raw.” Edward declared, standing up and spreading his legs wide, Raw lay on his back beneath him, surveying Edward’s hairy thighs and ass. Edward bent down, bringing his cock to rest on Raw’s mouth.

  “Lick my balls,” Edward said, holding onto the railing.

  Raw began with cupping Edward’s testicles and rubbing them with the palm of his hand. He used his fingertips to create a tickly sensation and darted his tongue into Edward’s pubic hair on his scrotum. He had learned from Caine that a man’s testicles were uber sensitive and needed respect. Raw gently swiped his tongue over Edward’s testicles and left them drizzling wet. Reaching up, he took Edward’s shaft in one hand while playing with his testicles with the other. He sucked on his balls and stroked his shaft at the same time. Edward felt as if the universe had exploded into light. He trembled from head to toe. “Fuck! It feels so good.”

  Raw played there for a while before Edward plugged his mouth with his cock and Raw found himself sucking an extra-long shaft from the way they were positioned.

  Gently Edward pulled out of his mouth and stepped up two rungs of the staircase. Raw got up and pinned Edward to the balustrades where he pushed his cock against Edward’s stomach. There they rubbed against each other while taking turns to kiss and nibble each other’s necks.

  “Can I give you one?” Raw asked, staring into Edward’s eyes.

  “What?”

  “A love bite, here, on the side where there’s no tattoo. I want everyone to see it. I want them to know it came from me.”

  Edward didn’t answer, instead, he leaned his neck over and Raw came in like a vampire ready to suck blood. Edward’s skin burnt like fire, and Raw moaned as he sucked against his neck.

  “Oh, my god,” Edward moaned, crushing against Raw’s body.

  “You like?”

  “I’m ready to give you one too.”

  “Go for it.”

  Edward’s vampire kiss left a red mark on Raw’s neck and at the top of the steps, he took Raw’s hand and led him to the master bedroom where he pushed Raw onto the bed and spread his legs wide. He turned Raw onto his stomach and buried his face between his legs. When he came up he whispered, “I want to fuck you.” Edward’s eyes pleaded.

  Raw kissed him gently on the mouth. “I want to enjoy this with you. Oral is my kind of thing. Let’s fuck later. Right now I want you to suck me till I cum.”

  “Will you fuck me?” Edward asked.

  “If you’ll let me,” Raw smiled. “Will I be the first?”

  “Nope. There’s been only one other. There’s lube in that drawer.” Edward pointed to the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Raw reached out, opened the drawer and brought out the lube.

  “Rather safe than sorry,” Raw said.

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe we should both get tested.”

  “I’d like to, but for now, I’m suiting up this fella.”

  Edward pulled Raw to the edge of the bed, squatted over his cock and lubricated his asshole. Edward also pushed lube in to line the walls. He took a deep breath and pushed his ass against Raw’s manhood, slowly.

  “Slowly. Be gentle. Fucking awesome.”

  As Raw’s cock passed the opening and slipped deeper in. Edward released a faint cry.

  “Are you okay?”

  Edward closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m in heaven.”

  And heaven never felt as good as this. His anus gripped Raw’s penis. “Oh my god, you’re so tight.”

  It hurt, but only because Edward clinched. Edward open
ed up to Raw to prove his vulnerability and physical intensity. He opened up because deep down, Edward had been looking for Raw all his life. The novelty of being penetrated didn’t surprise Edward; it didn’t happen often and everything seemed amplified, especially the sound of his own grunting and Raw’s moaning. Even Raw’s touch, the rush of Raw’s hand reaching over Edward’s groin to stroke his cock – their heavy breathing and beating hearts.

  Raw felt a surge of power come over him as he penetrated Edward. The power to dominate overwhelmed him and he increased the tempo of his thrusting leaving Edward breathless.

  “Cum inside me. I want your cum deep inside.” Edward shoved Raw’s hand away from his cock and began stroking himself. “Tell me when. We’ll come together.”

  “I’m getting there. Jesus Ed. I’m getting there.”

  “Me too. I’m ready.”

  Raw stiffened his body, his face swelled in a grimace filled with pleasure and he expressed a muffled scream while offloading in Edward’s ass. Edward’s jizz scattered all over the covers and he grunted with the release of his seed.

  In the afterglow, heaven slowly shut down. Raw reached out and pulled Edward back gently so as not to hurt him. He brought his hands up to cup Edward's red, wet face. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m in love, that’s all I know right now. Let me dream.”

  Raw smiled as he lay back thinking the same. He too had fallen in love, and there they lay, completely satisfied, on top of each other, while the world started turning once more.

  “By the way, next month the Boxing League is having a casual dinner. Wanna come?” Raw whispered.

  “I don’t have an invite.”

  “You’ll be with me representing the gym. I think it’ll be a great opportunity for you to mingle with the in-crowd. What do you say?”

  “Are you asking me out on a date by any chance?”

  “Yes, I am, Mr. Canton.”

  “It will be my great pleasure to join you, Mr. Curisco,” Edward said, overjoyed.

  The alarm woke them at 3.30 on the dot. Edward still lay in the same position, his head buried in Raw’s neck. His hard-on pressing against Raw’s butt.