We Have Till Dawn

by Cara Dee

  I had to calm the fuck down and just go with the flow. It wasn’t usually a problem for me.

  Gideon joined me in bed again, and this time, he was coming back for more. He climbed over me and extended my arm to, um…what was he—oh. All right. My arm became his pillow as his head landed on my shoulder. Did he wanna cuddle? I was freaking lost. Even though I’d actually had plenty of clients who were starved for affection and wanted something like this rather than a quick release. I felt for all of them.

  “I’m tired,” he murmured, brushing his fingers over my chest. “I’m so tired.”

  He wasn’t talking about physical exhaustion from a long day at work. I heard it in his tone. It was something that ran way deeper, and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before I broke the rules, because that shit, that sort of pain, always tugged at me.

  I wanted to say something.

  I had to.

  “You said I could speak if something was wrong.” The words left me in a rush, and it was a fucking relief.

  Gideon stiffened next to me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’d like to hold you, unless it would make you uncomfortable.”

  He didn’t answer right away, nor did he relax. He swallowed hard. His fingers had stopped drawing aimless patterns on my chest, and it was like lying next to a log. One that smelled amazing. His body was warm and solid.

  He’d shaved before coming here. The way his cheek and jaw felt against my shoulder made it clear.

  “Okay,” he answered eventually. There was enough wariness in his voice for me to take things slowly and be prepared for anything.

  “I’ll make it comfortable for us,” I promised. I carefully drew back my arm and told him I was just going to pull the duvet over us. He said nothing in response, so I hoped that was a silent agreement.

  Once I was back, I slipped my arm underneath his pillow. “Rest your head here. I’ve got you.”

  With him being significantly taller than me, I shifted as high on my own pillow as I could, then scooted closer to him and snaked my free arm around his middle. His body heat and finally being under the covers made me shudder in contentment.

  The man was pretty fit. Drawing my fingers up and down his back made me wanna see him. A little. His body, at least.

  He shivered violently as I scratched him along his spine.

  Slowly but surely, he relaxed in my embrace and snuck one leg between mine.

  “It’s nice, innit?”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t my plan,” he replied.

  How far could I push it? Would he feel comfortable enough to tell me to pipe down if I talked too much? Or asked too much?

  I decided to save the questions.

  “We have time.” I pressed my lips to his hair—his soft fucking hair. Jesus Christ. “You set the pace. If you wanna rest, we’ll rest. If you want more, we’ll do more.”

  He let out a long breath and nodded once. “Okay.”

  Maybe I was the one who was starved for affection.

  I woke up several times that night, always when Gideon was squeezing my body closer to his, and it heated me up every time. I squeezed him in return and let my hand roam his back, his arm, and down to his ass. It became our little routine; he responded in kind and touched me too. He kissed my chest and my neck, and he dared to grope my ass for about five seconds before he shifted to safer ground.

  It was a bit maddening, but mostly, I just loved the warmth and sharing a bed with another man again.

  “You feel good,” he whispered sleepily.

  “So do you.” I stifled a yawn and pressed my lower body to his. It was a shame he’d left his boxer briefs on.

  He was half hard just like I was, and hey, I was still a red-blooded male. He turned me on. I didn’t have to fake shit.

  At some point during the night, he’d moved higher up so we were face-to-face, and I was tempted to ask him if I could remove the mask. But in the end, I didn’t have to, because he removed it for me. I blinked drowsily, both dreading and hoping I’d see him.

  I didn’t see squat. Not even the freaking silhouette of him or the contours of his face.

  It was probably for the best. Right now, he was a living, breathing fantasy. His body felt amazing next to mine, and I was seriously hooked on his voice.

  “You wanna sleep some more?” I combed my fingers through his hair and scratched his scalp lightly. Judging by the hum of pleasure that emanated from his chest, he liked it.

  “I think so. Lying next to you is highly distracting, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself.”

  “Sleep, it is. There’s no rush.”

  He relaxed at that and hitched my leg over his hip.

  I wondered if he was planning on spending the whole night here every time or if he’d sometimes leave once he’d done whatever he came for. I guess I’d thought he’d at least wanna get off tonight. We weren’t seeing each other again until Tuesday night. On the other hand, if he’d gone his entire adult life so far without exploring with men, two days was nothing.

  Chapter 3

  “You seem distracted,” Tina mentioned over the phone.

  “Sorry. I’ve been tryna beat this level for a week,” I muttered, making my next move on the board. Whenever I had spare time, I had a minor addiction to games on my phone.

  Tina huffed. “You have me on speaker so you can play stupid games while you’re talking to me? I think I’m offended.”

  I grinned and scratched my nose, then moved one tomato toward two others. “Anyway. You sure you don’t wanna share some innocent information about my client?”

  Gideon was due in a little under an hour, and he’d sent me new instructions. The rule on silence was back; he didn’t want me to speak unless it was absolutely necessary. Sleep mask on, but he’d remove it once we were hidden away in darkness. And I’d been told to be naked and on all fours on the bed upon his arrival.

  His quick disappearance after our first night had disgruntled me. No goodbye or anything. He’d snuck out while I’d been asleep, and not a word since then.

  I didn’t know why I’d expected any messages, to be honest. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

  Either way, I was curious about this man. But to no one’s surprise, Tina didn’t wanna share shit.

  Oh, other than our test results being back. We were good to go.

  “I think I’m curious about him because he draws out my protective side,” I mused. “I wanna help him, you know?”

  “Honey, you’ve been intrigued by the anonymous ones for as long as I’ve known you,” Tina responded.

  True to an extent, but there was something more to it when I was with someone who struggled in one way or another. Society’s outcasts, those who couldn’t be themselves without a million layers of bullshit and pretending—I’d always had a soft spot for them.

  “I’m having drinks with one of my new girls now, Nicky. Can we chat more tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, sure, of course.” I could hear her paying the cab fare in the background, so I waited until she was done before I wrapped up the call.

  A glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand told me I had twenty minutes before Gideon got here.

  Might as well keep playing my game. I had plenty of other things to do but nothing I’d finish in that short amount of time. Tomorrow I had four students who’d requested a rock song to learn on their instruments, and I was kinda tempted to pick one of mine or Anthony’s. He’d sent me a new one to go through today, a rough recording, and we’d probably rehearse it this Friday when we had access to our local church.

  My brother was a lot more involved than I’d ever be, but I freaking loved collaborating with the choir. And there were no better acoustics than in a church.

  I should put up a note about the rehearsal on Friday so I didn’t make other plans. Ruby and I were meeting up for happy hour tomorrow, and she often had suggestions. Leaving my phone on the bed, I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed my notebook, flipping past the pages that wer
e riddled with lyrics, thoughts, and doodling, until I found a blank page.

  I jotted down the time, the church, the day, and the reminder to ask Anthony to bring my amplifier.

  Hopefully there would be time to have a talk with him too, ’cause though I hadn’t listened to his new song yet, the title, “Bottom of a Heartbreak,” made me wanna put my foot down.

  He was gonna insist that the lyrics weren’t personal, and I was gonna call bullshit.

  After attaching the note to the fridge, I made my way back to the alcove and threw myself on the bed. Everything was ready for Gideon’s arrival. Duvet rolled down, all lights off except for the one on the nightstand, curtains closed, and I was as naked as the day I was born.

  At two minutes to ten, I gave up on trying to beat that fucking level. I was gonna see pears and tomatoes and honeycombs in my dreams at this point. One of the students had gotten me hooked on the game, but it just made me pissy.

  All right. Blindfold on. Nothing else to do but put my ass in the air for Gideon.

  Tonight wasn’t my night. I felt unsettled and antsy. This was work. I’d been mad comfortable this past Saturday, and I’d even wondered if Gideon and I could have some amazing chemistry. It hadn’t felt farfetched at all. Almost like it was right there, crackling, smoldering, waiting for us to act on something that went beyond cuddling. But now I was having doubts. Half my brain was still at the academy in Brooklyn—and with my brother.

  I needed to get out of my head—

  A key turned in the lock.

  I took a deep breath and tried to shake the rest of the day off me.

  Gideon let himself in and locked the door. Same sounds as last time. A kitchen chair was pulled out, and I assumed he hung his coat or suit jacket there.

  He didn’t sit down on the edge of the bed first this time, though. I heard him unbuckle his belt and pull down his zipper, and it was as hot as it had been on Saturday.

  “You’re my toy, and you don’t talk back.”

  Welp. Hot. As. Fuck.

  “Unless something is wrong,” he added hastily.

  I grinned to myself.

  Was it weird that I found his uncertainty adorable and charming? It drew me in and stole my entire focus.

  He crawled onto the foot of the bed and came up behind me, and it killed my humor. I was itching to find out what he had in store for me. More than that, I wanted to get him off and see how he’d react. But I knew the seeing part wouldn’t happen, because one of the last things he’d said to me during our first night was that he felt more comfortable without an audience, including me. He’d guessed, or rather stated, that I knew he wasn’t experienced, to which I’d nodded, and that seemed to bother him.

  Even as a beginner, he wanted to come off as assertive. Life didn’t work that way.

  He touched me with more ease today, thankfully. His hands roamed my back and sides, slowly inching down to my ass.

  Had he dropped all his clothes yet?

  “I want to use you,” he murmured.

  I’m yours to use, honey.

  “Almost like a doll…” He drew a single finger between my ass cheeks, and I flushed all fucking over. Where was this confidence coming from? “My God,” he whispered. “I’ve been thinking about this since I left.”

  I swallowed.

  The way he slowly, cautiously circled my ass drove me nuts. There was something indecent about his innocent exploration of me.

  Next thing I knew, he lowered his head to kiss me there, and my eyes flashed open behind the sleep mask. He’d completely thrown me off guard. Weren’t we missing a whole bunch of steps? First base, second base… Fuck if I knew, but I didn’t think it was supposed to go from cuddling to tongue-fucking someone’s asshole.

  Tongue-fucking was extreme, but he wasn’t shy, that was for sure. He dropped openmouthed kisses and pushed the tip of his tongue inside me, all while his long fingers kneaded my cheeks.

  I had to swallow a moan when he reached under me and cupped my balls.

  The blood in my body surged downward, and I had to lock my elbows into position.

  “I masturbated in the car ride on the way over,” he admitted.

  Jesus fucking Christ.

  Was he a deviant in sheep’s clothing?

  “I kept thinking of you riding me,” he went on, trailing his kisses higher up now. “It’s one of my biggest fantasies, you riding my cock in the back seat.”

  That could be arranged in the right type of car.

  I shivered incessantly as he kissed his way up my spine and wrapped his fingers around my cock.

  “It feels so good to say these things out loud.” He planted his forehead against my back and breathed shallowly. “I wish I could touch you in public without people knowing what’s going on.”

  An inexperienced man with bottled-up exhibitionist fantasies. This could get wild.

  “Sometimes I just want my hands down your pants,” he said quietly. I bit back a groan. He stroked me unhurriedly from base to tip, twisting his grip slightly, then down again. “I want to see you come. Lie down on your back.”

  I didn’t hesitate for a second. I turned around and dropped onto my back, and Gideon crawled over me so he was straddling my thighs.

  “I made you this hard,” he whispered, seemingly to himself. “I can say whatever I want, and you won’t answer. You don’t realize how liberating that is. To not have to think twice about every word that comes out of my mouth.” He stroked me a little faster and tightened his grip, and I had to grit my teeth to hold back any noises. “My sexy, beautiful little toy. I’m going to fuck every hole possible in your body.”

  He was killing me.

  His breathing was coming out faster, making me wonder if he was stroking himself at the same time. It felt like that should be my job.

  “You don’t understand,” he muttered. “The past two days, I’ve felt the levees break within me, figuratively speaking. When I say every hole possible, I mean it. Like sliding my cock between your buttocks until I come all over them. Like slowly pushing inside your wet mouth. Like sleeping with my cock buried in your ass.”

  Fuck me!

  I sucked in a breath, then smashed my lips together. I went rigid. If I didn’t tense up, I’d move. I’d fucking throw myself at him. I’d moan, plead, and gasp.

  “I think I want the first one I mentioned right now,” he said, out of breath. “Turn around again, please. I have this vision stuck in my head, and I can’t get it out.” He kept talking while I scrambled into position on my stomach. “I want to see the come spurt out of my cock and soak you.”

  I did the only thing I could do—I buried my face in the pillow and screamed internally.

  Holy hell, where had this man come from?

  “You can’t come yet,” he warned, pushing his cock between my ass cheeks. Then he pressed them together, creating a tight sleeve for his slick cock. Whether it was lube or pre-come, I didn’t know, but it was maddeningly hot. “This is what I’ve fantasized about for so long. A lovely boy existing for my needs.” He let out the sexiest groan I’d ever heard, and I could almost cry. I was so goddamn hard. “I’m going to take care of you too.”

  Please do, before I come on the sheets like a preteen.

  He started panting. “I want to sleep between your legs with your cock in my mouth. That’s my plan, and I won’t let you distract me.”

  I tried so hard, but I couldn’t stop a whimper from slipping out between my lips, the low sound hopefully muffled by the pillow. He was seriously killing me. My cock hurt, my balls ached, a sharp current of sheer horniness buzzed through me without an end in sight, and my lungs burned for air.

  Then he stopped. Or slowed down. And with a rough, raspy moan, he jerked forward and started coming. Hot splashes of his come landed along my spine.

  I wanted to scream.

  My mind was swimming in images of what I was desperate for, and I lost my mental footing. I existed in a place of decadent fantasies, and I reached
for them all. Him fucking me hard, me deep-throating him, him nursing from my cock, me on my knees, our bodies intertwined, sweaty fucking, pleading moans, and twisted sheets.

  Gideon called me a filthy mess as he slipped his cock out from between my ass cheeks, and then he told me he was going to clean me up.

  “Lie still. I’ll be back.”

  I counted the seconds.

  I tried to unclench, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t even noticed I was white-knuckling the sheet.

  When he came back, he dragged a warm washcloth over my lower body, and it took all my willpower not to squirm and push into his touch. Thankfully, he didn’t leave. Once he was done, he threw the washcloth somewhere, then rolled me over, and in a fluid motion, he joined me in bed and sucked my cock into his mouth.

  The relief and the pleasure exploded inside of me, and I moaned. I moaned loudly. I broke the rules and threaded my fingers into his hair; I eased my cock deeper into him, and I acted like a desperate slut. To be fair, I fucking was.

  “I’m sorry, can’t help it,” I gasped. “Fuck, that’s amazing.”

  I could tell he’d probably never done this before, but it just worked. It felt so damn good, and he sucked me hard and wetly. No one needed finesse and grace. Or rhythm, for that matter. All that existed was my cock in his mouth—and his tongue. Madonn’, how he used his tongue.

  “Close,” I groaned.

  The ball of desire dropped lower and lower, and a tingling sensation rushed down my spine.

  He didn’t stop sucking me.

  I couldn’t warn him again. My orgasm crashed down on me, and my whole body protested as I tensed up more than I already had. I screwed my eyes shut behind the mask, I held my breath, and I started coming. Bursts of come coated the roof of his mouth. He prolonged my climax by gripping the base of my cock tightly, almost too tightly, but the way he sucked the release from me and made the sexiest, greedy humming sounds intensified the bliss.

  As the orgasm subsided, all strength left my body. My hands fell to my sides, and I couldn’t move a muscle.