Innocent In The Sheikh's Palace (Mills & Boon Modern)

by Dani Collins

  That first year had been a backslide into her worst self-denigration. When she had found herself alone in bed at the end of it, greeting the New Year by watching a classic rom-com for the millionth time, she had resolved to quit waiting for someone to want to spend the rest of his life with her and fall in love with herself instead.

  She had made a list of all the things she wanted out of life, including nicer teeth. “Family” had topped it and she’d been ticking things off, one by one, slowly making her best life come true until—

  Her best life was coming true, she assured herself, setting a hand on the side of her belly where a little foot was giving a restless nudge.

  Akin said a final few words and ended his call, then spoke to her without inflection. “My parents are looking forward to meeting you.”

  That wasn’t how it had sounded. She might not know how to swear in his language, but that had definitely been the gist in the other man’s weak, gruff tone.

  This was the moment to say something pithy about them visiting New York in the winter, but he continued speaking.

  “I presume you’re unmarried, since no one came with you to the meeting. Do you have a partner who was expecting to help you raise this baby?”

  She frowned, not liking his phrasing, as though he was saying that whoever might have expected such a thing could kiss that scenario goodbye. She had a brief impulse to claim she did, but his cool way of looking down his hawkish nose sent reverberations through her, warning her against making silly mistakes.

  Besides, they were going to her apartment, where it was plain she lived alone.

  “No,” she replied.

  “Family?”

  “My mother died when I was young. My father wasn’t in the picture and my grandmother raised me. She’s also gone.”

  “What was your plan? What sort of work have you been doing?”

  Again with the past tense. She deliberately answered as though her plans were unchanged. Her plans were unchanged, she insisted to herself.

  “I’m a librarian at Columbia. I’m taking a year’s leave of absence beginning at the end of this month. I’m going to Syracuse, to live in the house where I grew up. For the last few years, I’ve been building an online business doing research for authors. If that continues to go well, I may quit the university altogether and stay home until the baby starts school, but I haven’t ruled out coming back to work here or taking a position at another library elsewhere. I like to have options.”

  “Don’t we all,” he said with an ironic curl of his lip that struck foreboding in her soul.

  Which was when she realized they weren’t anywhere near her apartment and were, in fact, crossing the bridge into New Jersey.

  “You said we would meet your men at my apartment!”

  “I said they would get there before we did. We are not going there.”

  “That’s still a lie! Is that how we’re doing this? Because I can lie, too. I haven’t, but I’ll start,” she warned.

  His cheeks went hollow. Otherwise he sat very still, hands resting on his thighs. After a moment, he nodded once. “Lying is counterproductive. You’re right. I won’t mislead you again.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that as you kidnap me to... Where do you think you’re taking me?”

  “My private jet is waiting to fly us directly to Baaqi. I’ve arranged our own nurse. I can’t trust anyone from that clinic. Our flight plan ensures we’ll have suitable places to land should any emergencies arise.”

  “I was being facetious. This is a kidnapping!”

  “It is.”

  She could only choke, too flabbergasted to find words.

  “You asked me not to lie,” he said without a hint of sarcasm or remorse.

  “I asked you to take me home.”

  “I know.” His hands made one restless stroke to his knees and returned to the middle of his long thighs. “I understand you want your life to carry on as normal, Hannah. It can’t. You are carrying the next ruler of my country. My nephew. If you think that doesn’t matter to me, you are deeply mistaken.”

  Everything about him was very stoic, but he had lost his brother recently, she recalled, then stamped down on any compassion that incited in her.

  “I liked it better when you lied,” she muttered.

  “That ship has sailed.”

  She studied him, wondering if he really did feel some connection to this baby.

  “You miss him? Your brother?” Maybe it was a test of his willingness to be honest. Would he crack and admit to such a human emotion?

  “I do,” he said after a very brief hesitation, sounding pensive. “But I don’t wish to talk about him right now.” He glanced at her. His expression was unreadable, but it was probably the most believable thing he could have said.

  Impulsively, because she had been dying to share this with someone who might actually feel it as the stunning miracle it was, she picked up his hand and brought it toward her belly. “Was your brother a boxer? Feel what his son is doing to my kidneys.”

  Akin’s hand tensed and he started to pull away.

  It was probably overstepping royal protocol for her to touch him without permission. It was definitely unwise. There was something in the feel of his hand that made her bones melt and her head swim, but his gaze dropped to her bump. His brow flexed in a glimpse of agony and he let her set his hand in place.

  “Wait for it.” She kept one hand over his and used her other to press into the other side of her belly, coaxing the baby, “Don’t be shy. Say hello to—Oof.”

  His breath rushed out and his hand jerked away before he pressed it back into place. “Did that hurt?”

  “Like an elbow on the subway,” she joked, realizing he wouldn’t have any experience with such things.

  His brow remained creased and his gaze grew more absorbed as he looked at the roundness of her belly. He circled his thumb, soothing the spot where the baby had kicked.

  No man had ever moved her, not in a sexual way. It was another reason she’d asked a clinic to help her make this baby. Akin’s absent caress wasn’t even meant to be erotic, but it awakened a sensual response in her, one that sent swirling tenderness through her while embarrassing her at the same time for having such a reaction.

  “Do you...um...have a wife and children?” she asked.

  “No.” Maybe he heard some of her confused reaction in her voice, because he withdrew his touch. His cloak of distance returned. “Why did you want to have a baby alone?”

  “I still do,” she said pointedly.

  He didn’t move, but his stillness suggested thinning patience and made the air between them crackle with animosity.

  Look at me, she wanted to say. That’s why I’m having a baby alone. No man wants me.

  She was horrendously aware of his staff in the front seat, who seemed to speak English, though. And it made her so sad that people cared more about how a person looked than who they were inside. She hated to admit she’d always been one of the people society rejected for no good reason at all.

  When she answered, she kept her voice low, hoping only Akin could hear her.

  “I dated when I first went to university, but relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” Especially when so many young men had only been looking to score—sexually or on an exam—and cheating had been the goal in both exercises. “My grandmother was elderly and needed help, so I didn’t have much time outside of school for socializing anyway. After she passed, I moved to the city and haven’t connected with anyone, but I miss having family. The fact is, this pregnancy kind of fell into my lap. Ha-ha.”

  “How so?” He turned his head to regard her.

  “One of my author clients is married to Dr. Peters. I made a joke one day that I wanted children but needed to find a husband first. She said maybe not and told me about
the clinic. One thing led to another, and even though the clinic has a wait list and charge through the roof, I was given a consult and taken on as part of their research program. I’m required to give occasional blood samples and answer health surveys for the rest of my life, but I’m happy to contribute to science, so...” She shrugged.

  “The samples and questions will discontinue. My brother did not consent to being a research project and nor has my future king.”

  “Akin—may I call you that?”

  “Of course.”

  She could have laughed at how accommodating he sounded when he was such a giant brick wall in every other way.

  “I’ve decided to pick my battles with you. I’ll let you have that one, so you’ll be more inclined to compromise on really important issues. Like the fact I am not going to Baaqi.”

  “Do you know that I have spent more than a decade commanding armies, Hannah? Winning battles is my day job. Perhaps don’t pick any with me.”

  She could have sobbed. She swallowed back her panic and sat straighter and tried to keep her head while fighting for her life with as much civility as she could muster.

  “I have to fight you, Akin. Take a walk in this pregnant body of mine for a moment. Whatever you feel for this baby because he’s a remnant of your brother, I feel a thousandfold because he’s a part of me.”

  “I understand that,” he said politely and waited, but she didn’t know what else to say, because she could already tell that whatever she came up with, he would counter and override. On the one hand, it was refreshing that he was willing to let her have her say before he told her she was only a lowly woman and should mind her place, but it still made her want to scream.

  She huffed in despair and threw up a hand.

  He gave a pained nod. “You begin to understand.”

  “No! I don’t. No one has to know this was his sperm.”

  “I know. My parents know. You know. I would hope you understand that this baby has a birthright you don’t have the right to withhold. What are you going to do? Wait until he’s eighteen, then point to a spot on the map and say, That’s yours. Go rule it?”

  “Don’t lecture me on my rights.” The frustrated burn behind the backs of her eyes grew to near unbearable. She turned her attention to the view out the window, where a lack of tall buildings suggested they were nearing a private airfield.

  She pressed her lips flat so they wouldn’t tremble, but her voice still held a creak of emotion. “Once I decided to have a baby alone, I realized how much better that is. Simpler. I wouldn’t be undermined by the other parent, wouldn’t have to argue over which in-laws to spend Christmas with. I don’t expect big things from my life. All I want is a little family. Me and my child, maybe a goldfish or a cat someday. It’s unfair of you to say I’m asking too much by asking for that. I have a right to give my baby the life I planned. It’s a good one.”

  “I don’t disagree. For many it is. I envy you for having experienced such a simple life. But this is bigger than either of us, Hannah. This is where we both step up for the greater good of the baby.”

  “Oh?” she scoffed. “And what great sacrifice will you be making?”

  “I’ll be marrying a stranger, same as you. I’m becoming a parent when it was the last thing I expected or prepared for.”

  “What? No.” Adrenaline sent her hand shooting for the door latch.

  He struck like a rattlesnake. His big body loomed over hers, pressing her into the seat while his hand encircled hers. He had caged her so quickly, it took her a moment to realize he was being incredibly gentle about it, even as she sensed his grip couldn’t be broken and she had no hope of shifting the wall of his body so much as a fraction of an inch unless he wanted her to.

  She panted in alarm, torso brushing his. He was very warm, his eyes like black coffee, the tip of his nose grazing hers as he held her stare. He smelled like spicy aftershave and snow and damp wool.

  “I did say I will protect this baby, Hannah. Even from you, if it comes to that. Will you give me your word you won’t do anything foolish?”

  “No.” She blinked hard to see him through a blur of angry tears. “We are not getting married. I am not marrying a stranger.”

  “It doesn’t have to be forever, but our marriage will benefit the baby and—you’ll have to forgive how cold-blooded this sounds—will help smooth things over in the press.”

  “That is horrible. All of this is!” She wriggled against him, trying to free her hand and only succeeded in feeling all the more ineffectual for it.

  “This is reality, Hannah.”

  He held her for an extra second to prove the point that he was in charge, she was sure of it, because he waited until she settled before he gently brought her hand away from the door and set it into her lap. He settled back in his seat but continued to watch her closely.

  “Our modern world can accept a woman having a baby out of wedlock. My people can even accept a monarch conceived with an unknown foreign woman. Both? That is a tough sell. More important...” His cheeks hollowed. “I trust I have your complete confidence?”

  She snorted. “Who am I going to tell any of this to and be believed?”

  “Fair point.”

  The SUV came to a stop near the stairs to a sleek private jet. She dug her back deeper into her seat and clenched her hand around her seat belt, ready to fight being pried out of here and thrust onto that plane.

  “Give us privacy,” he said.

  His men promptly left the vehicle to stand in the gathering dusk and falling snow.

  “For health reasons, my father was about to abdicate to Eijaz before my brother’s diagnosis made that impossible. My father’s health has declined steadily since Eijaz’s death. My mother is equally devastated by grief. We were waiting until after the anniversary of his passing before I officially took over from my father. Now...”

  Akin’s palm swept through the air in a far too subtle gesture toward the earthquake that had occurred a mere hour ago, altering both of their lives.

  “Now what?” Her hands instinctively tightened further on the belt.

  “Now I will rule as Regent,” he continued without emotion. “Until my nephew is old enough to be crowned. Given that enormous responsibility and the influence I will have over your child, it would behoove you to be recognized as my partner. Otherwise you’ll be dismissed as a paid surrogate and treated accordingly.”

  She gasped. “Don’t you ever, ever suggest that I am some sort of brood mare that carried this baby for any reason except a very deep desire to have a child of my own. You don’t have any rights to him. Do you understand that?” She was near shouting.

  He was completely unaffected, and merely shook his head at her as though she was a recalcitrant toddler.

  “What are you going to do, Hannah? You can’t abdicate on your son’s behalf. That’s for him to decide eighteen years from now. How are you going to raise him ‘normally’ now? How are you going to raise him securely? Are you refusing to prepare him for the challenge of taking the crown? Tell me what you think the options are for any of us.”

  The bastard sat there with that patient, patronizing look on his face because he knew he had her. She didn’t have any choice. Not really. She might receive a settlement from the clinic for this mistake, but it wouldn’t match the resources he had at his disposal. She would be lucky if all he did was drag her into court. She’d never had the pleasure of being sued, but she knew time was measured glacially in that forum and lawyers were obscenely expensive.

  She had nowhere to go, so she escaped the only way she could. She buried her face in her hands. She was a smart woman, but no matter how hard she racked her brain, she came up with nothing. She couldn’t even find anger. It was definitely there, simmering at the injustice of life and Akin’s casual assumption of authority over her, but she had the rest of her life to wallo
w in bitterness over that familiar foe.

  Right now, she had to fight for what self-government she could retain.

  “I don’t want to marry you.”

  “It’s just a formality. We won’t consummate it.”

  Oh, there was a surprise! She couldn’t help her choke of hysterical laughter and was startled when something soft touched her hand. She lifted her head to see he was pressing a silk handkerchief on her.

  “I’m not crying,” she muttered, blowing her nose into it. “I’m trying to keep my head from exploding. You don’t want to marry me. Do you? Me,” she stressed. “I am not a bride you would choose for yourself, am I?” It was a type of self-harm to spit it out like that, but she wouldn’t delude herself into believing anything less.

  His long silence was damning, but there was something in his hardened expression that made her think he was wrestling with his own demons behind that mask, not intentionally reinforcing hers.

  “I have never enjoyed the luxury of choice when it comes to such things. The expectation has always been that my brother would made a selection from my mother’s vetted short list of potential brides and produce an heir before I would do the same.”

  “That’s pretty cold-blooded, isn’t it? What about love or basic attraction?”

  “This from the woman who chose the most dispassionate way possible to conceive her child? A successful marriage merges interests, not hearts.” He somehow grew even more shuttered as he said that. “You and I share a common interest in someone who is of the utmost importance to both of us. Marriage is the best action for all of us.”

  “This isn’t your baby.”

  “He’s still my family.”

  “But...” She hesitated, then forced herself to say it because she had to know exactly how he envisioned things would be. “Don’t you want children of your own?”

  “We can discuss that at a later time, if you decide you’d like more children.”

  “And then what? Our marriage ceases to be platonic?”

  “As we’re both aware, the father is no longer required to be present when his children are conceived.” He sent a sardonic glance to her belly.