by Sarah Bailey
I turned my head again, staring down at the plaque. Tears blurred my vision and I didn’t care when they fell down my cheeks.
“I miss you,” I whispered, planting my hand on the ground below the plaque. “I miss you every single fucking day. You wouldn’t want me to live like this. To be filled with pain and regrets. So I’m going to do something I never thought I could… I’m going to forgive myself for being unable to save you from your fate. I know it wasn’t my fault and I have to stop beating myself up over it.”
Ash stroked my face as my tears fell over her fingers. Having her right there gave me the will to do this. She made me realise I had to for myself so I could move on. So I could live. So I could be happy. So I could love the family I’d found without living with regrets and wallowing in the misery of my past failures.
“I wish you could see us now… me and the boys… how we’ve grown, how we’ve all learnt to love without restraint or conditions. I hope you’re proud of us, Mum.”
Ash moved towards me, leaning her face against mine. I wrapped my free arm around her, holding her close.
“She always used to tell us we were four misfits who should never have been friends, but somehow we all worked together. I think she loved them as much as me, you know. She was the only one out of all our parents who actually gave a shit about us… So when Julian took her away from me, he took her away from them too. I guess I took on that loss more than I should’ve.”
None of us had grown up with much love in our lives. Probably why it was so devastating to lose her and Katie. And why the four of us had clung to each other. Why we’d forged our own family. One we’d never give up. One we’d fight for till our last breath.
“You four were already a family before you lost yours… you always have been,” Ash whispered. “As an outsider, I could see that. The bond you all share. It’s a beautiful thing, you know.”
I turned into her, wrapping my other arm around her small frame and burying my face in her hair. Her hand fell from my face and clutched my shoulder.
“You’re our family now too, angel. You’re our missing piece. You make us whole.”
“I think your mum would be proud of you, of the man you’ve become.”
My heart lurched at her words. I believed them. Mum would be proud of me for letting love into my life. She’d be happy I’d finally realised who was staring me in the face this whole time. And it was only because of Ash I’d been able to open myself up to the possibility. The idea of me and Eric. She’d taught me to cherish those around me. Especially the one person who’d loved me since the day we’d met.
“Thank you, angel… you have no idea how much you’ve done for me. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, tesoro.”
I pulled her away from my chest and held her face in my hands. Her blue eyes were intent on mine, showing me how much she loved and cared for me.
“I want our family to grow in the future. I want that with you so much. I don’t care if it’s hard to navigate or whatever other bullshit Quinn says. We can do this together. So fucking what if our kids have four dads? They’ll have five parents who love them with every inch of their souls. A beautiful mother who’d do anything for them. We’ll give them the life we never got to have. One away from heartache and pain. One they fucking deserve.”
Ash’s bottom lip trembled. She was our guiding fucking light in all of this. So taking those steps with her in the future would be no brainer. I’d always wanted kids, even if I didn’t think it’d ever happen given how we’d grown up and the battles we’d faced.
“I want that too. We can do it together when the time comes… the five of us… if Quinn and Eric get on board with it.”
“Oh, trust me, angel, they’ll come around, eventually. When all this shit with Russo is over.”
Her eyes clouded over.
“I’m technically still a Russo… even if it’s only in name.”
I stroked her cheek.
“Do you want to change that?”
She nodded.
“Then why don’t you? You’re an adult, you can change your name to whatever you want.”
Her hands came up and rested on my chest.
“Is it strange I want to take Viktor’s name?”
My lips curled up into a smile.
“No, angel, it’s not. If you want to be Ash Bykov, then I’ll support you. I know how much he means to you. Hell, I’ll even help you fill out the forms to do it.”
“I want to talk to him about it first before I take that step. We’re still getting to know each other.”
I got to my feet, pulling her up with me and taking her hand. I felt lighter than I had done in a long time and there was only one way I wanted to celebrate this.
“I’m sure he’ll be happy you want to take his name.”
It reminded me I still had to book in an appointment with my tattoo artist. Now more than ever I wanted to get my tattoo for Ash and Eric. Something which symbolised our love for each other.
“You think?”
“I don’t think, angel, I know. He loves you even if he’s never said it. I think you make him proud to be your father.”
She blushed as I led her back in the house. We walked by Rory again, who raised an eyebrow at me. I gave him a smile and a wink before dragging Ash into the hallway and upstairs.
“What are we doing?” she asked when I took her in her room and closed the door behind us.
My smile widened.
“You are taking your clothes off and getting on the bed. And I am going to make you scream.”
Chapter 17
I eyed Xav for a long moment. His piercing blue eyes were full of life and his smile absolutely wicked.
“You still have to be gentle with me.”
He wrapped a hand around my waist and leant down, nuzzling my nose with his.
“I won’t hurt you, angel. I promise.”
I could see an enormous burden had been lifted from him. As if realising he’d been carrying the weight of his grief around for twelve years and it was finally time to let go of it. He wasn’t out of the woods yet. There’d still be bad days to come, but at least he’d recognised it as a problem he could solve. He didn’t have to live life in perpetual grief and sadness deep down inside.
So I backed away towards my bed, pulling off my clothes as I went. His eyes darkened as he took me in, his fingers flexing at his sides, waiting for the moment to strike. The anticipation of his hands on me had my skin tingling. I loved this man so much and his admission he wanted a family with me, with all of us, warmed my entire soul.
Quinn forcing the subject on us hadn’t exactly been pleasant, but getting our feelings out in the open would always be the way forward. Honesty, trust and acceptance were the foundations upon which we built our quintet. I had to make sure we stuck to them so we’d survive. Not only our battle with Frank, but our future together. Now more than ever we needed to present a united front. We had to stick together. Take care of each other. And grow with one another.
“Fuck, angel, I’ve missed you.”
I smiled, shimming out of my knickers and getting on the bed.
“Lay down on your front for me.”
I did as he asked, trusting he’d stick to his word and be gentle with me. I felt rather than saw him approach. He carefully straddled my legs as he got up on the bed and ran his hands down my back. Leaning over, he grabbed something from one of my bedside table drawers. I’d let them put whatever they wanted in terms of supplies in there.
When his hands next came down on my back, they were coated in something oily. His hands slid over my muscles, kneading them slightly with his fingers. Then he began to work on my shoulders, his fingers gentle as he worked out the kinks in them. I groaned, loving the feel of his hands on my skin and knowing I needed this. He’d turn all my limbs to jelly before he had his way with me.
“Like that, angel?”
“Mmm
.”
He chuckled, working his hands up my back and massaging the muscles there after he’d moved my hair out of the way.
“How’s your chest now?”
“I still get twinges and I’m really stiff when I first wake up, but I’m getting there. Just need to keep moving, it’s what Alekhin said anyway.”
I tried to stay as active as I could. Taking painkillers regularly helped.
Xav worked his way down my back. His hands remained soothing, relaxing me further.
“I think you’ve proved once and for all how good you are with your hands.”
“Knew I’d have you singing my praises one day.”
I snorted and turned my head up so I could look at him. His smirk made me roll my eyes.
“Don’t make me retract my statement.”
He leant down and kissed my cheek.
“Never.”
Straightening, he pulled off his t-shirt, followed by the rest of his clothes. I watched the way his muscles flexed and his tattoos shifted. Xav had always made my mouth water.
“Like what you see, angel?”
“Maybe.”
His eyes twinkled as he spread my legs, running his hands over my behind.
“I’ve definitely missed this view.”
I squirmed as his fingers sought out my pussy, stroking their way down to my clit.
“Someone’s a little excited.”
I whined when he slid two fingers inside me, stretching me out as he worked me. He pulled me up onto my knees with his other hand. My chest protested mildly, but I ignored it. His fingers in me felt so good, but they weren’t enough.
“Xav, please.”
His hand left my hip and landed in his lap. Gripping his cock, he stroked his hand up and down at a leisurely pace. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Off him.
“Please.”
He didn’t move though. Just continued fucking me with his fingers and stroking himself. I wriggled against him, wanting more. So much more.
“Xavier, please fuck me.”
“Mmm, angel, I love my name on your lips.”
His fingers disappeared, then he gently turned me over on my back. Crawling over me, he stroked a hand down my face, his eyes full of heat and love at the same time.
“My precious angel.”
My heart went wild. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, pulling him closer. And when he finally slid inside me, I felt the sense of fullness he always gave me. The sense of belonging and home.
“I missed you,” I breathed.
He smiled, leaning down to kiss me as his hips thrust forward, impaling me on his length. I rose mine to meet him, wanting every inch he had to give me.
“You feel like home,” he murmured against my lips.
He took my hands and entwined our fingers together. Raising himself slightly, he watched me as he fucked me with slow, measured thrusts. Out of his eyes poured all of his love and longing. Every part slammed into me, cocooning me in his affection and adoration. No words were needed. We spoke without them. Our bodies danced together, playing the sweet music of our lovemaking.
I could get lost in him. In this. In us. Xav kept me safe. My protector. My treasure. I wanted to be the same for him. In those moments, I knew I was the girl he needed to stand by his side. To help him through the hard times. And love through the good. He’d always been the one I could turn to when I needed affection. When I needed to be held until the world melted away and it was just me and him together.
I couldn’t stop watching him. The way his lip curled up at the side. The concentration on his face. The ecstasy and joy we shared in those moments our bodies were one.
“I love you,” I whispered. “Tesoro mio.”
In response, he moved faster, driving me closer to the edge. I wrapped a leg around him, keeping him pinned to me, loving the way he thrust inside me. Each press of his hips against mine. Each exhale and gasp. The tightening of his fingers as he held my hands against the covers.
“Angel,” he ground out. “Come with me.”
My other leg wrapped around his, shifting the angle so he brushed against me with each stroke. My heart overflowed as the stirrings built inside my core. And the shattering happened the next moment. We both groaned, me crying his name as his eyes rolled back. The blissful feeling carried me over and dragged me under. The air seemed to disappear from my lungs, ripped from me with the sensations rushing up my spine.
And then it was over. Both of us panting from the exertion.
Xav rested his forehead against mine, staring at me with sated eyes. It hadn’t been lust which drove us but a deep-seated need to chase the high together. To show our love and devotion in the one way we knew worked so fucking well. Bringing us so close together, we were practically one.
“Precious angel, I love you with every inch of my heart and soul.”
I smiled. My bones felt jellified after his massage and our lovemaking. I didn’t want to get up out of bed or do anything else. After having two of them make love to me today, I was already tired. Perhaps I needed to take it easy. They needed me back at full health.
He rolled off me and laid flat on his back, his hand resting on his chest.
“Do you really think Quinn and Eric will come around to the idea?”
“If they don’t, Rory and I will give you all the babies you want, angel.”
I snorted. I didn’t want more than one with each of them.
“We’d have to repurpose some of the rooms downstairs.”
“We won’t need the shit we have down there when all of this is over and we’re free to live our lives.”
“Well, I’m in no rush. I want to keep the four of you to myself for now.”
I turned, finding him grinning.
“Greedy girl.”
I shoved his arm.
“Just because I want to have uninterrupted access to earth shattering sex doesn’t make me greedy.”
He laughed, the deep sound of it turning my already jellified bones to liquid. I loved the sound of his merriment. Always had. He shifted up on his side and ran his hand down my chest.
“Having experienced restricted access to this hot little pussy, I’m certainly not complaining about having as much time with you as possible.”
“Perv.”
“Always.”
I curled a hand around his neck and pulled him closer, letting him kiss me as his hand ran lower.
“Xav…” I mumbled against his lips, unsure if I could take another round.
“Shh, angel, I just want to touch you.”
I probably shouldn’t have let him or even believed it would only remain touching because knowing Xav, he’d be between my legs without hesitation. But being with him like this made me happy. My heart was full and my body completely on board with his ministrations. Intimacy with my men was something I craved. So I allowed him to carry me away on a sea of pleasure because life would get very complicated soon and I was going to take my wins where I could.
Chapter 18
Even with a man down, it didn’t stop us calculating this next move with ruthless efficiency. Planning every last detail down to the wire. It’d taken a week of surveillance and a further two days to bring us to this evening. I, for one, could not fucking wait to get this over and done with.
I sat in a club, surrounded by women and a few men, blending into the background with dark clothing and a lazy smile on my face. I might look as though I was laid back and relaxed. Inside, I was anything but. Every part of me was on high alert, eyes slowly taking the room.
Watching. Waiting. Biding my time. Patience.
I tapped my fingers against my thigh, a whisky tumbler in my other hand which was resting on the back of the booth. The woman next to me slid a hand up my shirt underneath my jacket. I ignored her. Nothing about her touch did a thing for me. Perhaps in the past, I’d have been all over that, but not now. Not when I was working. And especially n
ot when my loyalties and love lay with Ash and Eric.
Ash was out with Quinn, the two of them having dinner together in public. We’d deliberately tipped off the press to create a distraction. One which would provoke Russo. It’s exactly what we wanted. Push a man too hard and he’d start to make mistakes. We’d capitalise on those. It would be his downfall. His ultimate demise. And I was fucking well looking forward to it.
“He’s heading in,” came the crackle of the tiny earpiece I wore. “Ready when you are.”
I didn’t respond, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I had to maintain the façade until the time came to strike. Instead, I tapped my thigh again, signalling to the tiny little camera in my lapel I was prepared.
“Also, on a personal note, that woman better keep her claws off your chest. It’s mine.”
I smirked. Eric had nothing to worry about on that score, but to reassure him I leant over to the handsy girl next to me, “Sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t get down with the ladies if you catch my drift.”
I heard the snort of laughter in my ear and smiled wider. I did very much get down with pussy, but there was only one I wanted clenching around my cock and it was my girlfriend’s. The boys had been right about one thing. Ash really did have the magic unicorn pussy we all searched for. It was more than that though. It was her laughter, her smile and the way she never took any shit off me. She loved fiercely. Her capacity for it astounded me at times. She took care of us in ways I never imagined possible. Simply put… Ash was our angel. Our everything. Our house. Our home. Our world. Our one.
“The disappointment on her face is enough to make my evening.”
The girl was pouting hard and turned away from me, focusing her attention on another guy. I brought my tumbler up to my lips but didn’t sip the liquid. Maintaining a clear head tonight would be paramount.
“You’re welcome,” I said quietly.
Carlo Russo walked in with his entourage. The man had black hair and dark eyes like his father and most of the Russo family, their Italian roots showing through. It made me wonder how Isabella had ever managed to pass off Ash as Russo’s daughter. She looked nothing like them. Perhaps Russo was so desperate for an heir, he didn’t care. It wouldn’t surprise me knowing what kind of man he was.