Object of My Desire

by R. L. Kenderson

But I settled for just enjoying his arm around me. After each picture was taken, he rubbed my back, and I was disappointed when he dropped his arm.

  I mentally sighed. Why does he have to be nice, down-to-earth, and so damn good-looking?

  Harper and I sat back at my table, and I leaned over to her.

  “Did he rub your back after your pictures were taken?”

  “Yes. Don’t be doing that. Don’t tease me with something I can’t have.”

  I burst out laughing. “Right?” I expressed out loud to her about how he had a trifecta going for him.

  “Remember what we talked about this morning though.”

  I frowned. “What was that again?”

  “That he is probably bad in bed and would make you do all the work.”

  I laughed. “Oh, yeah.”

  She picked up one of the two-inch penis suckers and moved closer to me. “And it’s probably only a little bigger than this.”

  I bit my lip as I tried not to laugh too loudly. “You are so bad.”

  Harper wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. “I know.”

  I flipped open covers of the two books I’d bought from Angela Devlin to see what Travis had written. It was only the twentieth time, but I loved his words. I understood why he’d written them because I’d read the blurbs of each book, but a part of me felt like he’d written them just for me.

  Silly, I know.

  That was part of his charm, and I shouldn’t read too much into it.

  The toilet flushed in our hotel bathroom, and I slammed the books down. I was way too old to have a schoolgirl crush on someone I would probably never see again.

  The door swung open. “You ready to go?” Harper asked.

  “Yep.” Not only was I starving, but it would also give me something to do to keep my mind off a certain model.

  The book signing was over, and we had just hauled all my stuff up to the hotel room. Now, we were in search of food.

  “I can’t believe how hungry I am from just sitting there,” Harper said as we left our room, making sure the door locked behind us.

  “I know what you mean. I guess socializing burns a lot of calories.”

  “I’d just better not eat too much since we have our fancy dinner tonight.”

  I looked at my Fitbit. “Yeah, we have a little over three hours until then. From what I’ve heard, the food is going to be good.”

  “Oh, me, too. That author, um … Tracey Munz, she was telling me about it.”

  “Did you have fun today? Would you ever want to do it again?”

  Harper nodded. “I did. And I have a pile of stuff from authors I want to read. I’m excited to try some of the books out. I hope that, for your next signing, you’ll ask me again.”

  “I will.” It was September now, and it was my last one of the year. “I have some I’m looking into for next year. I’ll give you plenty of warning, so you can work out what to do with Wyatt.”

  We made it down to the lobby and headed to the bar area.

  “Where should we sit?” I asked.

  It wasn’t crowded, but there were only so many open seats. The back had alcoves that were almost like their own little private areas, and we walked toward them.

  “Hey,” someone called out to us, and Harper and I both looked over to see Angela waving her hand.

  “I guess we’re sitting over there,” Harper said with a smile.

  So much for forgetting about Travis.

  We walked over to their alcove. There was a long bench in the middle with Travis sitting on it. There were two short benches adjacent to it, and Angela sat at one. I moved to sit opposite her, but Harper beat me to it.

  “Sorry, Syd, but I don’t think Ian would like me sitting next to Travis,” she joked.

  “Hey,” Travis protested.

  Harper laughed while I grudgingly sat next to him. He still smelled delicious, even after hours of sitting at the book signing, although most of his cologne had worn off. It was all him now. Pure testosterone.

  I made a mental note to pick up a First Response test on Monday because I was probably going to get pregnant just by sitting next to him.

  The waitress came over and asked us if we’d like to order.

  “Did you two order already?” I asked.

  “Only about five minutes ago.”

  “Okay then, I’ll have the cheeseburger,” I told the waitress. The menu was small, and I remembered it from earlier.

  “I’ll have the quesadilla,” Harper said after flipping the menu over a couple of times.

  The waitress took the menus and left. I looked over at Travis to see him watching me.

  Oh, was this supposed to be one of those things where I only ate a salad? Too bad. We weren’t on a date. Plus, I had a healthy appreciation for food. Perhaps a little too healthy at times, but I was starving.

  “Are you two not going to the dinner tonight?” Travis asked.

  “No, we’re going. I’m just really hungry.”

  We were almost finished eating when I got a message from my editor about a couple of mistakes I needed to fix in my latest book. Normally, I would wait to clean up the errors until I got back home, but I had a release coming up in less than a month, and my computer was upstairs. I felt like it wasn’t something that should wait when I could do it now.

  “I have to go and take care of something in the room,” I told Harper. “It shouldn’t take me too long. Do you want me to come back here and find you?”

  “Oh, well …” She looked at Angela and Travis. “How long are you staying?”

  Angela sighed. “Until dinner tonight. We had to check out of our rooms already.”

  Harper and I both winced.

  “Are you driving back tonight?”

  “Yeah,” Angela said. “I have to get back for my kids. We’ll drive back tonight, and then I’ll fly home tomorrow before my husband goes to work on Monday.”

  “Ouch,” I commented. “That’s a short trip.”

  “I know. And, after getting here late last night, I was actually thinking of taking a nap in the car before tonight’s dinner.” Angela laughed.

  “I don’t know why. You know I’ll do most of the driving,” Travis said.

  Harper and I exchanged looks. I felt bad that they had to hang out in the bar area. We had over two hours to go before dinner.

  “Why don’t you come and hang out in our room? We have Netflix hooked up. We could watch a movie and rest. If you want to nap, Angela, you can,” Harper offered.

  “We will totally take you up on that,” Angela said.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Travis said. “It beats sitting here for two hours.”

  “Okay, well, I’m going to go up now. I’ll see you all in a few.”

  “Later,” Harper said.

  I took off for our hotel room. Once inside, I did a quick sweep. The maids had come and cleaned up our dirty towels and made the beds. And, thankfully, we didn’t have unmentionables lying around.

  I grabbed my computer and sat on my bed. I had picked the one closest to the window and the heater since I got cold at night. I waited for my computer to connect to the hotel’s Wi-Fi, and as it did that, I turned on the TV and started up Netflix.

  I pulled up my e-mail and my latest manuscript. I fixed the few things I needed to and sent it off to my editor again.

  I set my computer down on the nightstand between the beds and lay down just as Harper, Travis, and Angela walked in.

  “I’ll be right out,” Harper said and walked into the bathroom.

  “Make yourselves comfortable.” I waved my hand across the room in a welcome gesture. “Sit. Lie down.” I pointed to myself with two hands. “As you can see, I already am.”

  I hoped Harper wouldn’t mind if the two of them sat or lay on her bed, but technically, she was the one who had invited them up.

  Travis walked over and grabbed the remote, and then he jumped over me to land on the
open spot next to me. “What are we watching?” he said as he put an arm behind his head.

  Angela sat on the outside of Harper’s bed. “He always has to play couch commando. I never get the remote when we hang out together.”

  Travis laughed. “I suppose, technically, it’s bed commando,” he said as he flipped through the choices and landed on the latest Thor movie.

  I scanned his body, which was so close to mine. Yeah, I’d like to play a whole different kind of bed commando with you, Travis.

  When I get home, I am making a date with my vibrator.

  Surprisingly, I got into the movie and forgot that a handsome model was lying on the same bed as me. So much so that I even dozed for a bit myself.

  “Psst.”

  I looked up from the TV to Harper. “What?” I whispered.

  Travis and Angela had both fallen asleep, and I didn’t want to wake them since they had a long drive ahead of them.

  “You should totally take a picture,” she said so low that I had to read her lips to catch everything she was saying.

  I wrinkled my nose. “What?”

  “Take a picture. You know …” She held her hand above her, leaned closer to Angela, and posed as she pretended to snap a photo. She looked at me again and pointed rather enthusiastically behind me. “Take. A. Picture.”

  I laughed. “No way.”

  “Yes. When are you ever going to have a hot model in your bed again? Take a pic. It’s proof.”

  I shook my head and hoped the bed wasn’t moving from my silent laughter.

  Harper pursed her lips at me like she was mad, but she couldn’t get rid of the smile on her face.

  She swiped her phone off the nightstand, hit the Home button, and stood.

  “Smile,” she said right before she took a series of pictures.

  Click, click, click, click, click.

  “Harper,” I whispered as loudly as I could, but she ignored me.

  “Those aren’t that good.” She held up her phone and took more.

  “Stop it.”

  She was still ignoring me as she studied her handiwork.

  I stuck my foot out and tried to kick her, but she stepped back.

  “I don’t know. These aren’t great either.”

  “Harper.” I scooted closer to the edge of the bed. “Stop.”

  I kicked my leg out again … and landed flat on the floor.

  BOOM.

  “Holy shit, what was that?” Angela yelled as I caught sight of her sitting up on the bed.

  Harper’s mouth formed an O before she doubled over and began howling with laughter. “Oh my God, are you okay?” she barely managed to say.

  I put my head on my arm. “Kill me now.”

  Harper laughed harder.

  I rolled onto my back to see Travis peeking over the edge of my bed.

  “Is anything hurt?” he asked out of concern, but I could see he was trying not to laugh, too.

  “Just my pride.”

  Travis grinned.

  “Go ahead. Laugh.”

  And he did.

  I looked over at the other bed where Angela was laughing.

  “I’m so glad we met you. This has been the best book signing ever.”

  About an hour later, Harper, Angela, Travis, my wounded pride, and I went down to the dinner that the event coordinators had set up for us. The dinner had different tables sponsored by various authors who had attended, and readers got to pick whose table they wanted to sit at.

  I hadn’t sponsored a table and hadn’t picked an author to sit with, so Harper and I had to wait off to the side.

  “We’re sitting at Marsha Hansen’s table,” Angela said. “We’ll see you two later.” She waved, and Travis smiled as they walked past us.

  “Are you okay?” Harper asked.

  I rubbed my hip where I’d landed. “Yes, I’ll be fine.”

  “In that case, why couldn’t you have waited to fall until after I started taking pictures again, so I could’ve gotten some good action shots?”

  I sarcastically laughed at her.

  She put her arm around me. “I’m sorry, babe. It was just so funny. I wish you could have seen it.”

  “I’m so embarrassed.”

  She pulled away and studied my face. “Really? You didn’t act like it. Way to go.” She nodded. “I’m impressed.”

  “It’s all those years I worked with difficult clients. I built up fake face, so they couldn’t see how frustrated I was with them.”

  “Well, it worked.”

  “I just can’t believe that I fell like that. In front of Travis of all people.” I narrowed my eyes at her. “I blame you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Her mouth dropped open, but she was trying not to smile. “I really am. My goal wasn’t to embarrass you.”

  “I know. But …” I looked around. We were in a room full of people, but they were all talking, and the acoustics weren’t great. I could barely hear what the people next to us were saying. I leaned toward her ear. “I know this is going to sound crazy—I mean, I know that a guy like Travis probably has tons of girls falling at his feet, beautiful girls—but I felt like we had this … chemistry.”

  I drew back to look at Harper’s face, and she nodded in understanding.

  She squeezed my forearm and leaned toward my ear. “If it makes you feel any better, I know exactly what you mean. I felt like I had chemistry with him, too. It must be part of his charm or whatever. He’s just one of those guys. Somehow, he’s magnetic.” She pulled back and smiled sympathetically.

  I nodded. “Thanks. That does make me feel better.” Or at least, it should, but it really didn’t.

  I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to feel special and that he liked me until Harper said that to me.

  It was a crazy dream, but feelings were feelings, and attraction was attraction. The only thing that would help was time. There was no magic wand to make those emotions go away.

  My phone buzzed in my hand, so I opened it up to see about a dozen or so pictures of Travis sleeping on my hotel bed with me with various expressions on my face. I was shocked or angry, and they all looked pretty comical.

  Harper bumped shoulders with me, and I looked up at her.

  “Thanks. I’ll cherish them always,” I said with a hint of sarcasm.

  Harper laughed and threw her arm around me again. “That’s my girl.”

  FIVE MONTHS LATER

  “I think that’s it for me. Does anyone have anything else?” Derek asked our monthly author group.

  I shook my head, as did the other five authors in attendance that month.

  “All right. Let’s get out of here then and go enjoy the rest of the weekend.”

  I stood up from the table at a local coffee shop where we met once a month. We met on Saturdays because some of the authors still had full-time jobs.

  I shoved my arms into my winter coat and pulled my hat over my head. It was the beginning of February in Minnesota, which meant it was still cold outside. I had ordered a coffee when I arrived that morning, but I decided to get another for my drive home.

  After getting my drink, I walked back over to the table we’d been sitting at. Derek was packing up his laptop and putting his coat on.

  “What are you doing the rest of the day?” I asked him.

  “I have plans with a friend, and then maybe I’ll get a thousand words in this evening. We’ll see.”

  “Yeah, I understand how that goes. Good intentions.”

  “What do you have planned?”

  “I have to go through some edits for my next release, and then my dad and my brother and his family are coming over for dinner.”

  Derek strung his laptop bag over his shoulder. “Are you cooking?”

  “Unfortunately.”

  “You don’t like to cook?”

  “I do. I just don’t really wa
nt to take the time to do it. You know how it is when you get on a roll with writing or editing. I wasn’t thinking when I planned this dinner.”

  “I hear ya.”

  We stopped at the door to say good-bye because we both knew that, once we opened it, we’d want to run for the shelter of our cars.

  “I hope you have a good rest of the day. Good luck on the writing,” I told him.

  “Yeah. You, too.”

  I pushed open the door and took off. “Bye,” I yelled behind me.

  “See you next month.”

  I unlocked my car and slipped behind the wheel. It was already warming up, thanks to my automatic start.

  I pulled my phone out of my purse to see if I had any messages before I took off for home.

  My niece, Lexie, had texted about a half hour ago to say she was heading over to my house. She had her own key, so she could let herself in.

  My brother was eight years older than me, and Lexie had been born when I was eighteen. Technically, I was old enough to be her mother, but she was more like a little sister to me, and she often came to my house to hang out. Whether it was to spend time with me or to get away from her parents and younger siblings, it didn’t matter because she knew she was always welcome. My house was her home away from home.

  I also had a few Facebook notifications, which I scanned through to see if there was anything I wanted to address before I left the parking lot. There was nothing that couldn’t wait until I got home.

  And I also had an Instagram notification that the people I followed had new stories. Travis’s name was always first. I didn’t know why. He wasn’t the first person I’d followed, and he wasn’t the last person. I thought Instagram was just trying to torture me.

  Since the book signing in September, I had tried to forget about Travis. I told myself he was just another guy. Sure, he was nice and good-looking, but he was far from the only man out there like that.

  Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t every minute of every day or anything. I wasn’t obsessed. But he was definitely the object of my desire, and I did think about him often.

  I had even gone on a date with someone I wasn’t that into a month ago in hopes of forgetting about Travis. The date went okay. We went back to the guy’s place and made out, but it was obvious that the guy couldn’t find any woman’s hot buttons, even with a diagram and step-by-step directions, so I called a halt to going any further.