by Nicola Jane
“I missed you too,” I admit. He smiles wider, then sweeps me hard against his body, lifting me until I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to the bed. He lays me down and hovers above me, looking down.
“I don’t want us to run from each other. I’m done pretending I don’t give a fuck,” he says. I nod because I don’t have the right words, but it’s enough to pacify him before he devours my mouth again. His hands reach between us and he tugs the button on my jeans. He moves down my body, kissing me over my clothes, then he pulls my jeans down my legs and throws them to the floor. His hands run up my thighs and he grips my panties, ripping them and pulling away the scrap of material. I suck in a breath when his mouth presses against me and his tongue runs the length of my opening. My hands immediately grip his hair as he licks my pussy like I’m his last meal. My back arches from the bed and I cry out in pleasure as the warmth of my orgasm builds and explodes so quickly, white light flashes in my eyes, blurring my vision. Blade doesn’t give me a chance to recover before he’s hovering above me again, lining himself up at my entrance. He takes my hands, pulling them above my head, and holding them there in one of his. He uses his free hand to push my top up, exposing my breasts to him.
“Has there been anyone else?” I ask. “Since we last—”
He shakes his head. “No, Sunshine. You’ve been in my fucking head the whole time.” He leans down, sucking my erect nipple into his mouth, causing me to squirm beneath him. He slams into me and I’m moved up the bed. “Jesus,” he hisses, pausing with his head resting against my chest. “Nothing compares to this,” he whispers.
He begins to move, slamming hard into me before slowly withdrawing and repeating the move all over again. It’s slow and delicious and soon whips up that warm feeling inside of me again. “I need to feel all of you,” he whispers into my neck. He pulls out and I groan in frustration. He laughs, takes me by the waist and rolls me onto my front. “I’ve got something better,” he says, slapping my bum. I tense and he rubs the sore spot, immediately soothing it. He parts my arse cheeks, but I reach around, trying to push him away. “You ever done anal?” he asks.
I shake my head. It’s not from men not wanting to—Travis always asked, but I was too worried it would hurt. “Do you trust me?” he asks, and I nod. Right here, right now, I do. I feel him pressing at the entrance. “Relax,” he whispers. He leans over me and opens the bedside cabinet drawer. I’d already checked the drawers last night and knew there were condoms amongst other sexual stuff in there, so I’m not shocked when he pulls out a tube of gel. “All the spare rooms are kitted out,” he says with a shrug.
I feel the cold fluid as he squirts it onto my anus and then his finger is back there, gently massaging and occasionally pushing against the tight hole. His other hand reaches underneath me and massages my wet pussy. The warm feeling returns and I groan into the pillow. I feel him behind me, moving closer, but the amazing work his fingers are doing distract me from the pushing of his erection against my arse. When he finally pushes in, I scream into the pillow. The pain of him entering and the building orgasm hits me all at once and I come hard, shaking uncontrollably. Blade’s fingers dig into my hips, trying to still me, but my jerking causes enough friction that he’s soon crying out my name and his body flanks mine. He pants hard into my neck as his own shudders subside.
Chapter Seventeen
BLADE
I’ve never come so hard like I just did with my Sunshine. I glance over at her naked body beside me. Her eyes are closed, but I can tell by her breathing that she’s still awake. I roll onto my side and flick my tongue over the closest nipple. She smiles but her eyes remain closed. “I wanna meet your mum,” I say, latching onto the nipple and gently tugging it between my teeth.
“Please don’t talk about my mum while you’re sucking on my nipple,” she mutters, batting me away.
I prop myself up on my elbow and use my free hand to stroke small circles over her stomach. I imagine what it’ll look like rounded with my baby and it brings a warm feeling to my chest. “Tell me about her,” I say.
“Why?” she asks.
“I wanna know what it was like to have a mum, a normal one,” I say, and she opens one eye and looks at me.
“She’s great. A little crazy. She’s bi-polar, so she has good days and bad, but when she’s good, she’s jumpy and over-excited, and when she’s bad, she’s . . .” she trails off. “What happened to your mum?”
I move my hand down between her legs and trail a finger through her folds. Her legs clamp shut. “Stop distracting me,” she whispers.
I tug her legs apart again and move so I’m between them, resting my arms either side of her head. “She wasn’t a very nice person,” I mutter, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.
“What did she do?”
“She made my childhood hell. She was a drunk, an addict, and a poor excuse for a woman let alone a mother.”
“Is she still alive?” she asks, her eyes full of pity.
I kiss her again, but this time, I catch her lower lip between my teeth and gently tug it before slamming into her again. She gasps, pulling her lip free and gripping onto my shoulders.
She stands over me, leering down, and I flinch. I must have fallen to sleep. Damn it. The room is dark apart from the fuzzy screen flashing on the small television in the corner of the room. Her bony fingers lash out and grip my jaw in a tight, bruising hold. “You ruined my life,” she spits. I’m used to her venomous words and cruel blows. “I will never love you.”
She drags her dirty nails across my cheek and I hiss. “He’s left me again because of you,” she cries, slapping the same cheek. I curl myself into a ball as she rains down blows over my head and body. Protect the head—that’s what I read somewhere. The head is the most important part to protect from heavy blows. The attack only lasts a few minutes. She’s weak from lack of food and tired because she needs a fix.
I jerk awake and Tillie is gently stroking my chest. She smiles kindly and I wince. Fuck, I must have been dreaming again. “You sounded like you were crying,” she whispers.
I grab her by the arms and lift her so she’s straddling me. “This isn’t the way to keep distracting me from asking questions.” She smiles as she sinks onto my erection. Seems to be working so far.
TILLIE
I’m sore. Blade is insatiable and I don’t have the stamina to match. He left to go shower and change ten minutes ago, and I need to fill Sara in, so I creep across the landing and gently tap on her bedroom door. It’s mid-afternoon and I know she’s hiding from Lake. She doesn’t answer, so I let myself in. Sara is on the toilet in her en suite bathroom, and she looks up in surprise and freezes when she sees me. In her hand is a white plastic stick. My eyes widen and she bursts into tears.
“Oh crap,” I mutter, rushing towards her and dropping to my knees so I can wrap her in a hug.
“This says twelve weeks,” she sobs, waving the stick around. “Twelve fucking weeks. I’ve had periods.”
“And it’s Lake’s?” I ask.
She nods. “I’m so stupid,” she wails.
“It happens. It’s a good thing. You’ll be a great mum,” I say, adding an unsure smile.
“Please,” she cries. “There’s not a maternal bone in my entire body. Lake will run a mile and my dad will cut me off completely.”
“Let’s not panic. We can sort this out, but you need to get your head around it first. It’s a shock.”
I pass her some tissues, then wait for her in her bedroom. When she joins me, her eyes are red and swollen. “You never said you were late,” I say.
“You had so much going on. I was only late this month. I had periods as normal before that. What the fuck am I gonna do?”
“Are you gonna tell Lake?”
She shakes her head. “No. He doesn’t want kids. He told me once when we were talking. It’s why I thought we were so well matched.” She laughs sadly. “I’m gonna have to get rid of it, Tillie,” she alm
ost whispers. “I’m not cut out to be a mum, especially not a single one.”
“I’ll support you whatever, you know that. But just take a couple of days to let it sink in.”
The door opens and Lake pops his head in. Sara almost chokes and shoves the plastic stick at me. He sees the exchange and his eyes narrow. “What’s that?” he asks as I hold it behind my back.
“Nothing. What do you want?” asks Sara.
He steps into the room and snatches the stick from my hand. Sara pales and Lake’s eyes widen. “What the fuck?” he growls.
“It’s not mine,” says Sara, nervously laughing.
Lake looks at me. “Shit, does Blade know?”
I glance at Sara, my mouth opening and closing with nothing coming out. “It’s okay, I won’t tell him. I’m sure he’ll be over the fucking moon once the shock’s worn off,” says Lake, kissing me on the cheek. “Welcome to the family.”
I nod, backing out the door. “I’ll let you two talk,” I mutter.
I close her door and rest my head against it. “Why are you creeping in and out of rooms?” comes Blade’s voice. I squeal in fright, dropping the stick. It clatters to the floor and skids, stopping at his feet, and he bends down and picks it up. I glare up at the ceiling as if God is bringing all this shit down on me. “Twelve weeks?” he mutters. His eyes meet mine. “Twelve weeks?”
“Let me explain,” I begin.
“Is it Ethan’s? You said there was nothing between you!” he yells.
“I didn’t have sex with Ethan,” I snap. “Keep your voice down.”
“We didn’t have unprotected sex, Matilda, so don’t fucking lie to me!” he yells. “Unless you lied about the pill?”
“The test isn’t mine,” I hiss. I can see in his eyes he doesn’t believe me. It’s another blow that he still doesn’t trust me. “When will you trust me?” I ask. He shrugs, staring down at the test. “I trust you,” I say firmly because I think he needs to know that. “I need you to trust me on this,” I say.
“Whose is this?” he asks.
“I can’t tell you,” I say. He rolls his eyes and I move closer, placing my hand against his cheek and staring into his eyes. “I promise, it isn’t mine. I’ll do a thousand tests to prove it. But I can’t tell you whose it is.”
“If you’re gonna be my ol’ lady, we can’t have secrets.”
“That goes both ways,” I say. “So when you wanna come to me and tell me your past, or what happened with my dad, I’ll be here waiting to listen without judgement.” I place a gentle kiss against his mouth and go back to my room. I’m keeping my word—I’m not running this time.
“Why can’t he meet your mum? He met your nan,” says Eva.
Lake’s sister, Charlotte, leans close. “Is your mum shit? We all understand that here,” she says. “I’ve only just found Lake, thanks to our shit mum.”
I smile. “No, Lottie, she isn’t shit. With my real dad being a biker, well, I think she’ll have a hard time accepting Blade’s part of my life.”
“So you’ll just hide him from her forever?” asks Eva.
“No, of course not.” I bury my face in my hands. “Jeez, you’re talking about forever. We slept together and now you’re talking forever.”
“You don’t want forever?” she asks.
“Yes . . . no . . . I really don’t know. Why is everyone in this club so set on tying everything down with labels?”
“I think we have ourselves a commitment-phobe,” Leia singsongs, joining us.
“I am not!” I screech. “I’m all for a happy ever after. But if you guys start talking about this in front of him, he might run a mile.”
“Do me a favour,” says Eva. “Just walk towards the exit. Don’t look at Blade, and don’t respond if he calls your name.”
I laugh. “Why would I want to do that?”
“To prove my point,” she answers, smugly.
“Oooo, do it,” says Leia, smiling. “We never get to play with the guys’ heads anymore.”
I sigh, stand, and straighten my hair nervously. I’m not sure what Eva expects from her stupid experiment, but I can’t deny my interest is piqued.
I set my sights on the exit. Blade is sitting by the bar, watching a small television behind it. I march straight for the doors. “Sunshine?” he asks, as I pass him. I press my hand to the door and feel his arms wrap around my waist just as I step out. He propels me forward, out into the bright sunshine, and presses me against the bricks of the building. “Where the fuck are you going?” he growls into my ear, and I shudder.
“I was just getting some air,” I whisper. I feel his cock against my arse cheeks and smile.
“You want air, you tell me. You walking with a purpose towards the exit, gives me some kind of anxiety.”
“You want to walk me around like a dog?” I ask, smirking.
“I want to keep you safe,” he murmurs as his hands wander up my waist and move to my breasts.
“You’d keep me locked in your bedroom, if you could,” I say, laughing.
“Oh, I could, if I wanted to.” He smirks. “Let me show you somewhere quiet out here, so you can get some air.” He takes my hand and leads me around the side of the building.
“You look suitably punished,” giggles Leia when Blade finally lets me go back inside. I feel myself blushing.
“You get my point?” asks Eva. “He’s not letting you go anywhere.” A smile spreads across my face. “So take him to meet your mum. Show him you trust him,” she adds.
“It’s not me who doesn’t trust. He accused me of going to the cops, remember?” I ask.
“Trust builds trust,” says Charlotte.
I shrug. “I guess.”
Chapter Eighteen
BLADE
I don’t know why Tillie changed her mind, but here we are, sitting in her mum’s living room, an awkward silence surrounding us. I was confident I could win her over, since I managed it with her nan, but this woman seems cold. Her eyes assessed me the second I followed Tillie in here, and they haven’t bothered to look at me since.
“How have you been?” asks Tillie.
“Good. You?”
“It’s been a hard few days, since the shop,” mutters Tillie.
“I know that place meant a lot to you and Nan, but in some ways, maybe it was a blessing.”
“How so?”
“You were stuck in a rut. You wouldn’t leave Nan and she wouldn’t leave the damn shop. Now, you can both move here.” Her mum takes a sip of her coffee, her eyes fixed on Tillie, and my heart skips a beat waiting for Tillie’s answer.
Tillie laughs. “Nan would never leave London.”
“She would if you did,” says her mum.
“It’s not that easy, Mum. I have a life back in London, and what can Scotland offer me?”
“A life?” scoffs her mum. “Sara and your nan?” Tillie glances at me. “Oh please, you’ve known this guy for two minutes and now he’s a reason to stay there? To give up the chance to be closer to me and Mike?”
“You’re being rude,” Tillie mutters.
“I’m being honest. Look, I spoke to Mike. He knows a small place not far from here. It’s a micro-bar, just like you always talked about. You could make it your own.” Tillie’s face brightens and my heart picks up pace. “Mike asked the owner. He’s just renting it out for now, but he might sell further down the line. You could see if you like it.”
“A cocktail bar,” says Tillie, “in Scotland.”
“They’re up and coming here, especially the micro-bars,” her mum says with a smile.
“I don’t know.” Tillie glances at me again.
“I know Nan mentioned it, the money,” her mum says, and Tillie takes her attention back there. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to have anything from that arse, but he paid into the account every month regardless. I never touched it.” She stands and moves over to a wooden cabinet, taking out a banking book and handing it to Tillie. “That’s
the last statement I got. Last month. He stopped paying into it some months ago.”
I fidget uncomfortably and watch as Tillie’s eyes widen. “Holy fuck,” she gasps.
“It could buy you a bar,” her mum says. “It’s all in your name.”
“I’ll think about it, Mum, but no promises. It’s been a rough few days and I’m not sure what I want right now.”
I try to ignore the punch to my gut. If she moves here, we’ll be over and I won’t be bumping into her like I did in London.
“Are you staying the night?” her mum asks.
“We got a hotel,” mutters Tillie. “I didn’t think you’d want guests.”
Her mum finally glances at me. “Have you been together long?”
“Not really,” says Tillie. “I mean, I wouldn’t say we’re together. We’re taking it slow.” I’m insulted and my face must show it because Tillie rushes to try and correct it. “I just mean—”
“We’re together,” I say firmly, glaring at her mum. “Blade, by the way,” I add coldly because she hadn’t asked and Tillie hadn’t introduced us.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry. Mum, this is Blade. Blade, this is Helen.”
“So, are you together or not?” Helen asks coldly.
“Yes,” I say, before Tillie answers.
“My daughter doesn’t seem as certain as you.”
“Maybe she didn’t get the memo,” I mutter.
“Maybe you didn’t,” says Helen.
I take a deep breath and stand. “I need some air.” I step out into the garden and suck in a few deep breaths. Something about this situation makes me feel queasy and I can only guess it’s the lack of any real maternal figure in my life. Helen looks at me with the same contempt my own mother did and it’s fucking with my head.