Taming Blade (Kings Reapers MC Book 5)

by Nicola Jane

  “About time,” I whisper.

  Riggs smirks. “Well, look at the state of you.”

  “You should see the other six,” I brag, and he rolls his eyes.

  “We gotta torch this place. Barn too,” I say. “There’s too much blood and shit. The cops will find our DNA in there if they bother to check.”

  “I brought my explosives expert,” says Riggs, pointing to Lake, who takes a bow. I open the gate and let them in.

  “Eva and Sara are in the van,” says Blu, and I nod.

  I open the van and turn to Tillie. “I’ll be right back,” I whisper, but she shakes her head, gripping me tighter. “Sunshine, I’ll be fine. I gotta make sure there’s nothing to lead this back to us.” I kiss her on the forehead and help her into the van, where Eva and Sara wrap her in their arms.

  A car pulls up behind the van and Vinn Romano steps out. “You think you could have been a little less obvious?” he asks, staring at my blood-soaked clothes.

  “What shit will this bring?” asks Riggs.

  Vinn shakes his head. “None from the Italians,” he says. “We’re gonna step in and take his business.”

  “So, we have your backing?” asks Riggs.

  “One hundred percent,” Vinn responds, nodding.

  Lake re-joins us ten minutes later looking smug. “Gas explosion,” he says like we all know what that means. “Less likely to arouse suspicion.” He stares at us and then his eyes widen. “So we gotta move out, like now, before it blows.”

  We make a dash for vehicles. The second I get in the van, Tillie moves into my side and presses herself against me. Eva gives a sympathetic smile as I wrap her in my arms.

  As we drive away, the explosion shakes the van windows. I watch as the orange flames rip through the building. It can be seen for miles.

  TILLIE

  I wake screaming. It’s the third night I’ve dreamt of our ordeal, the third night of me screaming the clubhouse down, and the third night Blade has wrapped me in his arms and hushed me back to sleep. “It’s not good for the baby,” he whispers, like I can prevent the nightmares. “You need rest.” I stay silent, staring into the darkness. “He can’t hurt us now,” he adds. It’s the same line he tells me every night, but it doesn’t ease the anxiety.

  I lay awake until the sun rises, then I get out of bed feeling more exhausted than when I first went. Blade sits in the rocking chair by the window, watching me dress. “You’ve hardly slept, eaten, spoken. What can I do?” I push my feet into my slippers. I don’t have answers. “Tillie,” he snaps. “Talk to me.”

  I head for the door and he growls. “I’m fine,” I mutter. It’s all I’ve said for days. Truth is, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong. I’m glad that the bastard is dead, and maybe that’s what worries me the most. Maybe my lack of empathy is the scariest thing of all.

  I hear him come after me and his arms wrap around my waist before he drags me back into the bedroom.

  “You’re not fine. This is not fine!” he hisses.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say!” I snap. “I killed someone. I killed a man. I killed. I’m a murderer!” The words tumble out and I feel dirty.

  “You had no choice!” he snaps.

  “Didn’t I?” I ask. “I provoked him into grabbing me like that. I wanted him to, so I could kill him.” I burst into tears—angry tears. “I lured him to his death.”

  “It was self-defence. He would have raped you. Probably over and over until he got bored and killed you.”

  “But at least I wouldn’t have been the murderer,” I mutter. “What if our baby becomes like me?” I gasp.

  “Now you’re being ridiculous,” he sighs.

  “I wanted that man dead. Oh god,” I cry out. “I wanted him to die.”

  “Jesus, stop!” yells Blade. “Listen to yourself. He had to die! There was no other choice. You have to stop this, Tillie. It’s eating you alive.” He stomps from the room and I fall back onto the bed, crying. I am so sick of crying.

  BLADE

  “The guilt is too much,” I say, taking a swig from the whiskey bottle. “She can’t handle it.”

  “She needs a drink,” says Riggs, and I roll my eyes. “I know she can’t have one, but she needs one.”

  “Any other ideas?” I mutter.

  Cree shakes his head. “Your best chance is the women. They’ll bring her out of it.”

  “I don’t see how. She’s like a different person.”

  “Trust in the magic of women,” says Riggs. “They fix everything. It’s like a voodoo power they have, the same one they use on us to tell us they are always right and we are always wrong.”

  “You gotta remember, she’s not from this life, man. Do you remember your first body?” asks Blu. “Cos I do. It haunts me. Tillie’s seen two dead fuckers up close, that’s more than most people see in a lifetime. Give her time and be patient, brother. She’ll be okay.”

  TILLIE

  I stare blankly at Anna. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  I don’t want fun. I feel like sleeping, not partying, especially without alcohol. “I’m tired.”

  “Nobody likes a fun sponge, Tillie,” says Leia.

  Anna scowls at her. “Fun sponge?” she repeats.

  “Yeah, someone who sucks all the fun out of everything,” she explains.

  “I know what it is,” snaps Anna. “I just haven’t heard an actual real adult person use it.”

  “We have snacks,” says Eva, holding an armful of items, distracting Anna and Leia.

  I sigh and open the bedroom door wider to let them in. Sara smiles, gently squeezing my arm as she passes. They make themselves comfy on the bed and floor. Eva hands out bags of crisps and turns her phone on so music plays out in the background.

  “Okay, I’ll start,” says Eva. “I watched a woman rape Cree.”

  I suck in a surprised breath. “Way to scare her,” hisses Leia. “We could have started easier.”

  “With your stalker taking you so he could steal your unborn child, yah mean?” retorts Eva.

  Anna smiles at me. “We all have horrendous tales to tell.”

  “It doesn’t make me feel better,” I mutter.

  “Oh, you haven’t heard the half of it,” says Eva, popping a crisp into her mouth. “By default, you’re a fully-fledged member of the club.”

  “Tell me about the drama,” says Sara. “I want to know it all.”

  “It’s true, I had a stalker,” says Leia.

  “Two, if you count Vinn,” says Gia.

  The girls laugh and Leia blushes. “Your brother just knows a good thing when he sees it. I can’t help not feeling the same way. He said he’ll protect me until he’s too old not to.” The girls make ‘aww’ sounds and Leia grins wider. “Only, don't tell Chains that, he’ll bust a nut.”

  “My ex took me and held me captive,” says Anna. “I told you before he was mafia. He used to hit me, so I left and met Riggs. Reggie hated that, so he came after the club and took me back.”

  “Me and Cree were taken, like you and Blade,” says Eva. “He was tied to a chair and raped over and over by a woman I worked for. Long story, really.”

  “Sounds like this place is a regular drama central,” I mutter.

  “We’re telling you because, as you can see, it gets easier. I was raped by my ex. I thought I’d never get over it,” says Anna sympathetically.

  “And Riggs hasn’t made it easy,” adds in Eva.

  “No, he’s had his moments,” Anna agrees. “I was like you, new to this life. I struggled with Riggs’ possessive alpha ways and the violence that follows this club. But we’re all still smiling. It’s not always like this. We all have our bad days, but we’re here for each other.”

  “You have Blade,” says Leia, “and he’s a great guy.”

  “And a child to look forward to,” adds Eva.

  I absentmindedly place my hand over my stomach. Blade wanted me to have a scan as soon as we came back to the club, but I r
efused. I know it doesn’t make sense—why wouldn’t I want to know my baby is okay? But it’s the thought of it not being okay that scares me more. I reasoned that I have no pain or bleeding, so everything is fine, and that kept Blade off my back. But for how long is anyone’s guess.

  “You have so much to look forward to,” says Sara, and my heart aches for her. I make a note to spend some time with her later to find out how she is.

  “I’m doing fine,” I say firmly. “You didn’t need to come in here and share horror stories. Blade is worrying for nothing. I just need some time.”

  “You’ve had a lot to process in the last few days,” agrees Leia. Try months, I think to myself.

  “I know when I first came here, after everything happened with Reggie, I was worried Riggs wouldn’t want me. Like maybe he wouldn’t fancy me anymore,” Anna adds.

  “Christ, this isn’t therapy,” snaps Gia. “We’re here to cheer Tillie up.”

  I laugh and the others join in. “I appreciate this, I do,” I say. “I’ll try harder to bring myself out of it.”

  Anna smiles. “Just take one day at a time and don’t shut yourself away. Talking and doing everyday things will keep you moving forward.”

  “Fuck, Anna’s top tips on moving forward after being kidnapped,” jokes Leia.

  Anna throws a piece of chocolate at Leia and it bounces off her head. “You don’t realise the responsibility I have to look after you girls. It’s my job as the President’s wife,” she says and a round of groans erupt, making Anna laugh harder. “I take my role seriously.”

  We spend some more time talking, but when they eventually leave, one by one, I realise how tired I am. Sara is the last one and I take her hand. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” she mumbles.

  “You’re not okay. I can see it in your face.”

  “I booked an appointment,” she whispers, looking away from me. “To deal with the problem.”

  I wince. “That can’t have been easy.”

  “It’s tomorrow,” she adds, and I raise an eyebrow.

  “What time? I’ll come with you.”

  “You don’t have to do that. You have enough on and you need rest. I’ll be fine.”

  I frown. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not doing this alone.”

  BLADE

  “You’re dressed,” I say, sounding surprised. Tillie smiles, doing a little spin to show off her fully-clothed body.

  “I have to go out,” she says.

  “Where?” I snap. She looks over at me and frowns at my harsh tone. “You should be resting,” I add more calmly.

  “I told you a million times, I’m fine. This is important.” She picks up her handbag and walks to the door. I move, blocking her exit, and she sighs.

  “So important you can’t tell me what it is?”

  “Fuck!” she screams, and I take a step back, shocked by her outburst. “Back the fuck off! You are crowding me and it’s driving me insane.”

  I pull the door open and move to the side. “Look, Blade, I’m—” she starts to apologise, but I put my hand up and she stops talking. She kisses my cheek and leaves.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  TILLIE

  We’ve been over the procedure and now we’re in the waiting room filling out paperwork. Sara keeps crying and it’s breaking my heart. I watch her closely as her pen hovers over the signature line. “You okay?” I ask.

  She nods and presses the pen on the line before moving it away again. “I can’t believe they can terminate up to twenty-four weeks,” she says. I frown, confused to why she’s thinking about that when she’s only fourteen weeks. “It’s fully formed by then,” she adds, and I nod. “She’s the size of a peach right now,” she continues. “She’s already got her ovaries.”

  “If she is a she,” I say.

  “She’s got arms and legs.”

  I place my hand over hers. “Sara, you don’t have to do this.”

  “How can I look after a baby? I killed a pet hamster when I was twelve because I forgot to feed it,” she says. I wince and she nods in confirmation. “I know, awful, right? I starved the poor little thing to death, I didn’t sleep for weeks after that I felt so awful.”

  “I mean, you can’t forget to feed a baby because milk actually leaks from your breasts. I read it online. Plus, it cries a lot when it wants something, so your job is basically to guess what it wants for the first few weeks,” I reason.

  “And not let it die,” adds Sara. We both smile. “Maybe I shouldn’t do it today. Just in case it’s the wrong decision.” I nod, taking the pen from her and stuffing it in my bag. “My god, you have no shame,” she hisses. I always steal pens—it’s a bad habit.

  We take a slow walk back to the club. It’s a good twenty minutes away, but we both need the air. “What if I fuck this kid’s life up?” she mutters.

  “You won’t. Just be you and you’ll do amazing.”

  “We’ll have a kid around the same time,” she adds, and I smile. “You think they’ll grow up to be best friends?”

  “Yes. Why would they not when they have us as parents?” I sigh. “Are you going to tell Lake?”

  She nods. “In my own time.”

  “It’s just that Blade’s kinda on to you. He guessed when I came out of your room holding the test. I haven’t confirmed his suspicions, but you’re gonna show soon enough.” Sara holds her flowy shirt against her small bump and I grin. “Wow, you kept that well-hidden.”

  “I know. I’m practically a whale already.” I nudge her, laughing. “It’s my parents who’ll have a fit. My dad will lose his mind.”

  I take her hand. “It’ll all work out. Somehow. At least we have each other.”

  “And you have Blade,” she adds, winking.

  “I really like him,” I mutter. “Like way too much.”

  “Is that possible? Isn’t it called love when like is too much?”

  “I’m scared it’s all too fast. After everything that’s happened, and now we’re having a baby, what if he realises he doesn’t want me six months down the line? Our relationship is so stormy.”

  Sara rolls her eyes. “That wouldn’t happen, but if it did, I’ll keep your room free at the house. Speaking of which, I’m moving back there this evening. I’m gonna find my balls, tell Lake the news, then move home.”

  “Wow, that’s some big decisions you’ve just made,” I tease.

  We get back to the club and I find Blade outside smoking a cigarette. His eyes burn into me. I’m guessing he’s still mad about before. “You have a visitor,” he mutters, flicking the nub to the ground and heading back inside.

  “He looked pissed,” says Sara.

  “We argued . . . again,” I mutter. But when I see my visitor is Ethan, I realise it’s probably that, that he’s angry about.

  Ethan stands when I enter. “Matilda,” he says, smiling. Blade is leaning against the wall, his eyes fixed firmly on Ethan and the cop beside him.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Is there somewhere we can go talk?” he asks, and my eyes automatically flick to Blade, who shakes his head. I frown. I don’t need permission, so I ignore him and nod, leading Ethan back outside.

  “Sunshine,” Blade shouts after me but I pay no attention.

  “I heard about the shop,” says Ethan, moving us out of earshot of his cop friend.

  “Yes, it was sad, but I’m moving on. Nan can’t afford to keep it running, and honestly, I don’t think she wants to.”

  “Did you find out who did it?” he asks.

  “Isn’t that your job?” I ask, smiling.

  Blade steps out and lights another cigarette, watching us. “Does he always behave like a controlling dick?” asks Ethan.

  “What can I do for you today?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Where did Blade get the bruises? Looks like he took a good beating.”

  There’s not much of Blade that isn’t turning a shade of blue, yellow, or purple right now, and both
his eyes are swollen, not to mention the cuts to his cheek and eyebrow. “See what happens when you mess with me?” I joke. “You got off pretty damn lightly.”

  “Acid is missing,” says Ethan, his tone serious.

  My smile fades quickly. “So?”

  “You haven’t even asked me who he is,” mutters Ethan. “Is it a coincidence I gave you an address and now the president of that club is missing?”

  “I never went to the address,” I lie.

  “Bullshit, Tillie,” snaps Ethan, and I see Blade push off from the wall. The other cop stands in his way and my anxiety level goes up a notch.

  “Alright, alright,” I hiss. “I went there, but he wouldn’t help me. He was a complete ass, so I left. I haven’t seen him since. Why are you here asking me about this?”

  “Because I wanna make sure I do everything possible to keep you out of this investigation,” he growls. “Is there anything that can bring me back to you?” I shake my head. “Not one scrap of anything, a drop of blood, a fucking hair from your head?” I shake my head again and he visibly relaxes.

  “Why would you do that for me?” I ask, smiling again.

  “Cos I feel bad,” he mutters and shrugs. “I fucked up before and it was a shitty move.”

  Blade is getting more vocal with the other cop, so I nudge Ethan with my shoulder. “That’s kind of sweet,” I say.

  “Yeah, well, I’m a sweet kinda guy,” he mutters. “And you have terrible taste in men. I feel bad for you.” I laugh and he raises a grin. “Take care, Matilda. And if you ever need me, for anything at all, just call me and I’ll come running.”

  The other cop smirks before turning away from Blade and heading off with Ethan. Blade glares at me. “What the fuck was that?”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m not doing this again,” I say, breezing past him. “I miss the funny version of you.”

  He stomps after me. “I suddenly don’t feel so happy these days,” he snaps. Frankie looks up from the bar, watching over the rim of her reading glasses. “So the funny me is taking a break.”