Man in White

by Johnny Cash

  “Yes,” said Saul. “I know that very well from personal experience—and in the case of my brother-in-law, Levi.” He paused. “On the other hand, to become a follower of Jesus, you bear a cross. Men everywhere will hate us and want to kill us for claiming him Lord.”

  “The Master once said, ‘You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free,’” said Peter.

  “We need to be free from worry and care as to what the world can do to us, for we have not told cunningly devised fables concerning the power and glory of our Lord Jesus. We are eyewitnesses to his majesty.”

  The next day Sarah came back and handed Saul a parchment. “This was nailed to my doorpost when I came home from here last night.” There were tears in her eyes. Saul took the paper and put his arms around his sister, knowing what it was.

  They sat down on a bench in the inner courtyard of Peter’s house. “What reason does he give for a bill of divorcement?” he asked gently.

  “Abandonment of devotion to him and the traditions of our faith,” she said. “He told me that I had forsaken the true religion of our fathers and had become as a pagan Gentile to him.” She held back more tears.

  “Well,” he said, looking at her evenly, “you have just come to know a new Master. Love is the way into his kingdom, but he said that in building his kingdom he comes as a sword, and a man’s enemies shall be those of his own household.”

  Sarah stared at him. “He is more fearful than the God of Abraham who burned Sodom and Gomorrah. I don’t understand, Saul. Barnabas called him the Prince of Peace. Why does this terrible pain come to me just as I accept him?”

  “The trying of your faith works patience, Sarah, and with your faith through patience, you gain wisdom,” he said as he put his arms around her shoulders.

  “Endure, Sarah, endure, and the Prince of Peace will comfort you.”

  She looked straight in his face and said, “Saul, your words are nice.”Then she paused. “Give me a little time. You have no idea how hard it is for a woman to be given a bill of divorcement. The reason for such is almost always adultery.” She trembled. “And I can’t face my friends. Jacob never said a word all morning before he left for school. He knows that something too terrible to talk about has happened. And he had been so happy to see my joy here on the Sabbath.”

  Saul thought for a minute, then said, “You often talked about going back home to Tarsus, Sarah. Have you thought of that?”

  “I have been here ten years, Saul. Memories grow dim. I rarely hear from our friends and relatives there,” she said. “Still, I have no one here now except you and Jacob, and you won’t be staying.”

  “Perhaps I will,” said Saul. “I must make the people believe.”

  “You will be killed, Saul,” she said. “The high priest, Theophilus, stoops to please Marcellus. And speaking of peace, you are a threat to the peace.”

  “I have a gospel of love to preach, Sarah,” he said.

  “Yes, but you said yourself it pits husband against wife, and as you know, it pits Jews against Jews, and that Marcellus will not condone. Things were different when Jonathan ben Annas sat in the high chair. He practically ignored the fact that Rome ruled. Caesar Caligula is insane, and he hates us. Theophilus will not allow men like yourself to speak to the people on Solomon’s Porch with Marcellus’s soldiers looking down upon you.”

  They sat quietly for a while, then Saul said, “Put your trust in the Lord, Sarah.” He paused. “I must go into the Temple again soon,” he said.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “To pray, Sarah.”

  “I must go get Jacob now,” she said, rising. “And, Saul, I would like something.”

  “What would you like?” he asked, smiling.

  “I want to be baptized in his name,” she said. “Somehow I feel the need to be. I have made one step; now I must go all the way with him.”

  For the third day in a row, Cononiah and Shemei knocked on the outer door of the high priest’s chamber at the Temple.

  “You cannot see Father Theophilus now,” said the guard who opened the door and faced them.

  Cononiah spoke out quickly, “The turncoat persecutor, Saul of Tarsus, is in the city and congregating with the Nazarenes.”

  “The high priest can’t be bothered with the Nazarenes again,” the guard said.

  Cononiah put his foot in the door. “The high priest wants Saul of Tarsus arrested,” he growled, “and we know where he is.”

  “Where is he?” asked the guard.

  “We must speak with Father Theophilus,” said Cononiah.

  “Just a moment,” he said, closing the door.

  Theophilus did not look up from his papers when the two men entered, and it was a few moments before he said anything.

  “What is this I hear about Saul of Tarsus?” asked the high priest.

  “He is in the city,” said Shemei.

  “At the house of the Galilean Simon Peter,” said Cononiah.

  “How long has he been there?” asked Theophilus.

  “A few days, Master. They profaned the Sabbath with their rituals honoring the Nazarene,” said Cononiah.

  “In what way?” asked Theophilus.

  The two men looked at each other, each hoping the other would speak.

  Finally Cononiah said, “They drink the Nazarene’s blood at their service!”

  Theophilus didn’t react.

  Shemei said, “This is forbidden by Law!” He paused, then said, “They also eat his flesh. They pass around little pieces of it and they all have a bite.”

  Finally the high priest said, “I am tired of these horrible tales of the Nazarene’s worship services. If they are true, their so-called Lord would have to have been as tall as Mt. Hermon and had a bloodstream as big as the River Jordan.”

  “We have seen it, Master Theophilus,” said Shemei.

  “Out with you! Begone!” said Theophilus.

  As the door opened and the Hebronites went out, the high priest called in the guard.

  “Saul of Tarsus is at the house of the Galilean preacher Peter,” he said.“Get a cohort of soldiers from Antonia and arrest him. Have him imprisoned at the fortress.”

  They were near the spot on the Jordan where John the Baptist had baptized Jesus. The river was wide and shallow here. The stream of the Jordan was responsible for a lush green belt through the bare wilderness.

  The oasis of Jericho was within sight, but Saul stood with his back to that city, and his memories of the girl Jemimah were as if she had been in another life. He wondered about her, though, and if she had married. Does she have children? Is she happy? He dropped his eyes, and the memories pained him, not just memories of her and the time they had spent together, but memories of his own loneliness from the time he had rejected her until that day on the Damascus road when his whole life was suddenly changed.

  The words of Barnabas brought him out of his reverie. “Insomuch as you have professed your faith in the Lord Jesus, I baptize you, my sister Sarah, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

  The waters of the Jordan swept over her, and she came up crying tears of joy. Leah and Barnabas led her out of the water, and Leah covered her shivering shoulders with a blanket. The four of them had come to this spot as Sarah had requested. As she dried her hair, she said, “I want to be more like Jesus, and more like those who know him.”

  Saul embraced his sister. “Welcome into his kingdom,” he said.

  “Saul,” she said, shivering in her wet clothes, “how can I find peace in my family situation?”

  “You must try to reconcile with Levi,” he said.“Love him more. Try, Sarah, and pray.”

  “Let’s change your wet clothes,” said Leah, taking her aside.

  Saul turned his back to her, saying, “Thank you, God, for bringing her into your service.”Now he was facing Jericho. It was as if a war began inside him.“Jemimah.”He mouthed her name as he looked at the city. “Jemimah.” He closed his eyes up
on the city.

  On the way back to Peter’s house as they were going around the southern colonnades of the Temple, Saul stopped. “Go ahead without me,” he said. “I must go once more into the Temple to pray.”

  “Be careful, Saul,” said Sarah.

  She watched him go up the steps with that great stride of his, his homespun cloak flaring out behind him.

  “Come, Sarah,” said Leah. “The children will be hungry.”

  Barnabas watched Saul until he disappeared between the columns, headed for the Court of Israel, then he turned and followed the women to the house of Simon Peter. When they were in sight of the house, they stopped. Something was wrong. Roman soldiers stood at the door in the street. One of the Temple guards seemed to be in a heated discussion with Cononiah and Shemei. Barnabas and the two women were blocked by the soldiers as they approached the gate.

  “Where is Saul of Tarsus?” the guard demanded of Barnabas.

  He didn’t answer and was knocked to his knees. The terrified women forced their way into the house and joined the children, who were just as terrified. “Are you all right?” Leah asked.

  “Yes,” said Jesse. “They want Saul.”

  Sarah held Jacob in her arms. “They will go away, my son. They won’t hurt us.”

  The soldiers prodded Barnabas along the street, and when he hesitated, they put chains on his arms and pulled him roughly up the incline to the Temple area, past the Judgment Hall and into the Hall of Flagellation, where they chained him to a post.

  The elders and chief priests questioned him about Saul and about his activities at the house of Peter. He spoke not a word, and the lashes began falling on his bare back. He fainted before the thirty-ninth one fell. They unchained him and took him out of the Court of Israel and cruelly pushed him down the steps, where he came to rest, bleeding and broken, in the Court of Women.

  In the Court of Israel, Saul knelt praying. “Guidance, O Lord, please, guidance,” he said. “Like David of old, I am encompassed about with my enemies.

  “You have called me; you have bought me. You have given me friends in your work. You have brought my sister to my side for your service. You have blessed me by bringing me Barnabas. Now do I present my body as a living sacrifice. In my midst are those who would kill me. Do I offer my neck to the executioner? Do I offer my body to be stoned? What would you do with me, Lord?

  “For me to live at all is to preach your gospel, to tell of your salvation. If I must die, I shall die in you; if I am to live, I must live in you. For me to live is to be your minister, your apostle.

  “I do not seek to please men, for I understand now that to please all men I would not be a proper servant. Speak to the minds of us all. Strengthen Cephas and James in wisdom as you strengthen me.

  “I am crucified with you, Lord; nevertheless, I live, yet not I but you in me, and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in you.

  “May I stand fast in the liberty by which you have made me free. Let me walk in your Spirit and not in the flesh.

  “My flesh is crucified to your glory. Let me know the fruits of the Spirit, the fruits of love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.

  “Send me where you will, Lord. Enlighten me that I may teach men the fellowship of the mystery which from the beginning of the world has been hidden. May I impart to your church your manifold wisdom.

  “May I bear the just fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ unto your glory.”

  He suddenly stopped praying, for he felt the presence. Saul was kneeling with his eyes closed when the afterimage of the Man in White appeared on the backs of his eyelids. He heard the rushing of the eternal water and over the waters came the voices calling his name in all foreign languages. Then the divine Voice whispered to him, and the implication of the Lord’s pronouncing his name in this manner chilled and thrilled him.

  “Paul,” the Voice said. “Paul.”

  He tried to answer but couldn’t speak.

  “Paul, Paul,” the Voice called again.

  Then the image began to glow, and glory radiated from the face in the vision. The beautiful eternal Voice called him by his Gentile name again.

  “Paul.”

  “Yes, Lord,” he whispered.

  “Go out of Jerusalem quickly,” the Voice said. “They will not receive your testimony concerning me.”

  “Lord,” said Paul, “they know that I imprisoned and beat in the synagogues those who believed in you, and when the blood of the martyr Stephen was shed, I stood by and consented to his death. I held the clothes of those who killed him.”

  Not responding this time to his old confession, the Lord said, “Go. I send you far away to the Gentiles.”

  He arose immediately and strode back toward the Court of Women. He shivered as he remembered the vision he had had of the destruction of the Temple. My Lord has many temples he is waiting to enter, he thought, the temples of human hearts.

  He shivered again as he came down the steps and into the Court of Women. There sat Barnabas against the bottom step. He had pulled himself up to a sitting position and was trying to get to his feet. Countless people passed him by, not wanting to be involved in helping a malefactor. Paul stopped even before he recognized him. Barnabas was covered with blood.

  “There were soldiers at Peter’s house,” said Barnabas. “They were looking for you.”

  Paul helped him to his feet. “So they scourged you instead.” Looking at Barnabas’s wrists, he added, “And chained you.”

  “Yes,” said Barnabas.

  “Are they still at Peter’s house?” asked Paul.

  “Probably not,” said Barnabas, his arm around Paul’s shoulder as they walked slowly.

  Paul was silent for a moment, then he said, “They have gone too far. We are Roman citizens, and it is unlawful to bind and scourge a citizen of Rome.”

  “It has happened, and it shall happen to you,” said Barnabas.

  The courtyard at Peter’s house was crowded when they returned. As Paul and Barnabas walked in, Peter was leading them in prayer. When he raised his head and saw Barnabas, he said, “Our prayers are answered. He is alive.”

  Paul stood beside Peter, James, and Barnabas and looked out over the faces. Many were there who had fled upon recognizing him before.

  “I summoned these people back, for now they confirm that you are no longer the persecutor but a true disciple,” said Peter to Paul.

  Paul took his cloak from around Barnabas’s shoulders to show the results of the scourging. “Bear witness, brothers and sisters. Such are the afflictions that come from serving the Lord.”He paused, then said, “But know that the present sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that is to come to us for faithfulness to his calling.”

  Sarah and Leah came forward to take Barnabas inside.

  “Sarah,” Paul said, “I must leave you now.”

  “Where are you going?” she asked. “Where can you safely go?”

  He walked with them away from the congregation and into a room where Leah began bathing Barnabas’s back and shoulders. He looked up at Paul from his chair.

  “I have decided to go back to Tarsus,” he said. “I have had a vision from God. I must go to the Gentiles.”

  “What you see that has been done to me is just a foretaste of the persecution that you will receive,” said Barnabas.

  “I know that very well, Barnabas. It is part of my calling.”

  “You are going home without me,” said Sarah resignedly.

  “I must leave now,” said Paul. “I am going to Caesarea, where I will find sailing passage to Tarsus.”

  “I have no one here,” said Sarah mournfully, “except my son.”

  “You have brothers and sisters in Christ,” said Paul. “If your husband will not rescind the bill of divorcement, I would like for you to make arrangements to take Jacob out of school and join me soon in Tarsus. Of the people I know there, I know of none in the service o
f our Master. You would be a great help to me in establishing a church there.”

  His excitement was evident, and Barnabas smiled. “So you have finally resolved to answer the call of the Gentiles.”

  “Yes,my brother,” he said, and with an arm around Sarah, he led Barnabas back out into the courtyard.

  “Levi will never let me take Jacob,” said Sarah.

  “Still, you must come,” said Paul. “Pray about it. God will bring it about that Jacob join us. He has been a witness to much testimony of the Master. He has become an open channel for the love of Christ. He will go with you to Tarsus, Sarah. I know it. He shall be with us in the Lord’s service.”

  A few people, mainly the elders of the church, were still there, a dozen or more men talking with Peter and James. Peter embraced Barnabas, who smiled and said, “I am privileged to suffer for my Master.”

  Peter called Paul aside and said, “I have just been told that the relatives of the Greek woman who died under your persecution plan to kill you.”

  “I had a vision in the Temple, Peter,” he said. “I know about the plots to kill me. I am going to the Roman governor,Marcellus, to demand a military escort to Caesarea. One Roman citizen, Barnabas, has already been illegally scourged and chained. My Lord commands me to leave. I shall make sure nothing stops me from obeying him.”

  “I will go with you,” said Peter.

  “No,” said Paul, “You need not be seen in that place. I shall go alone.”

  Paul turned to Sarah. “Find peace in this decision, Sarah. It is God’s plan.”

  “I don’t know what will happen to me,” she said.

  “I will expect you in Tarsus soon, Sarah,” he said.

  Peter said, “Would you speak to the elders, to all of us before you go?”

  Paul turned to the group of men and said, “Brothers, it was with joy that I gained your fellowship. I now must leave you to follow the Master’s bidding.

  “I have testified to the Jews and Greeks repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Now I go, bound in the Holy Spirit, knowing that persecution and afflictions await me. But into the cities I go. I shall become all things to all men that I might win some to Christ, and the afflictions that I shall suffer do not concern me, neither do I count my own life dear, so that I might finish my course.