Quo Vadis: A Narrative of the Time of Nero

by Henryk Sienkiewicz

  Chapter XXXII

  PETRONIUS went home shrugging his shoulders and greatly dissatisfied.It was evident to him that he and Vinicius had ceased to understandeach other, that their souls had separated entirely. Once Petronius hadimmense influence over the young soldier. He had been for him a modelin everything, and frequently a few ironical words of his sufficed torestrain Vinicius or urge him to something. At present there remainednothing of that; such was the change that Petronius did not try hisformer methods, feeling that his wit and irony would slip without effectalong the new principles which love and contact with the uncomprehendedsociety of Christians had put in the soul of Vinicius. The veteransceptic understood that he had lost the key to that soul. This knowledgefilled him with dissatisfaction and even with fear, which was heightenedby the events of that night. "If on the part of the Augusta it is not apassing whim but a more enduring desire," thought Petronius, "one of twothings will happen,--either Vinicius will not resist her, and he may beruined by any accident, or, what is like him to-day, he will resist, andin that event he will be ruined certainly, and perhaps I with him, evenbecause I am his relative, and because the Augusta, having included awhole family in her hatred, will throw the weight of her influence onthe side of Tigellinus. In this way and that it is bad." Petronius wasa man of courage and felt no dread of death; but since he hoped nothingfrom it, he had no wish to invite it. After long meditation, he decidedat last that it would be better and safer to send Vinicius from Rome ona journey. Ah! but if in addition he could give him Lygia for the road,he would do so with pleasure. But he hoped that it would not be toodifficult to persuade him to the journey without her. He would spread areport on the Palatine then of Vinicius's illness, and remove danger aswell from his nephew as himself. The Augusta did not know whether shewas recognized by Vinicius; she might suppose that she was not, henceher vanity had not suffered much so far. But it might be different inthe future, and it was necessary to avoid peril. Petronius wished togain time, above all; for he understood that once Caesar set out forAchaea, Tigellinus, who comprehended nothing in the domain of art, woulddescend to the second place and lose his influence. In Greece Petroniuswas sure of victory over every opponent.

  Meanwhile he determined to watch over Vinicius, and urge him to thejourney. For a number of days he was ever thinking over this, that if heobtained an edict from Caesar expelling the Christians from Rome, Lygiawould leave it with the other confessors of Christ, and after herVinicius too. Then there would be no need to persuade him. The thingitself was possible. In fact it was not so long since, when the Jewsbegan disturbances out of hatred to the Christians, Claudius, unable todistinguish one from the other, expelled the Jews. Why should not Neroexpel the Christians? There would be more room in Rome without them.After that "floating feast" Petronius saw Nero daily, both on thePalatine and in other houses. To suggest such an idea was easy, for Neronever opposed suggestions which brought harm or ruin to any one. Aftermature decision Petronius framed a whole plan for himself. He wouldprepare a feast in his own house, and at this feast persuade Caesar toissue an edict. He had even a hope, which was not barren, that Caesarwould confide the execution of the edict to him. He would send out Lygiawith all the consideration proper to the mistress of Vinicius toBaiae, for instance, and let them love and amuse themselves there withChristianity as much as they liked.

  Meanwhile he visited Vinicius frequently, first, because he could not,despite all his Roman selfishness, rid himself of attachment to theyoung tribune, and second, because he wished to persuade him to thejourney. Vinicius feigned sickness, and did not show himself on thePalatine, where new plans appeared every day. At last Petronius heardfrom Caesar's own lips that three days from then he would go to Antiumwithout fail. Next morning he went straightway to inform Vinicius,who showed him a list of persons invited to Antium, which list one ofCaesar's freedmen had brought him that morning.

  "My name is on it; so is thine," said he. "Thou wilt find the same atthy house on returning."

  "Were I not among the invited," replied Petronius, "it would mean that Imust die; I do not expect that to happen before the journey to Achaea. Ishall be too useful to Nero. Barely have we come to Rome," said he, onlooking at the list, "when we must leave again, and drag over the roadto Antium. But we must go, for this is not merely an invitation, it is acommand as well."

  "And if some one would not obey?"

  "He would be invited in another style to go on a journey notablylonger,--one from which people do not return. What a pity that thouhast not obeyed my counsel and left Rome in season! Now thou must go toAntium."

  "I must go to Antium. See in what times we live and what vile slaves weare!"

  "Hast thou noticed that only to-day?"

  "No. But thou hast explained to me that Christian teaching is an enemyof life, since it shackles it. But can their shackles be stronger thanthose which we carry? Thou hast said, 'Greece created wisdom and beauty,and Rome power.' Where is our power?"

  "Call Chilo and talk with him. I have no desire to-day to philosophize.By Hercules! I did not create these times, and I do not answer for them.Let us speak of Antium. Know that great danger is awaiting thee, and itwould be better, perhaps, to measure strength with that Ursus who chokedCroton than to go there, but still thou canst not refuse."

  Vinicius waved his hand carelessly, and said,--"Danger! We are allwandering in the shadow of death, and every moment some head sinks inits darkness."

  "Am I to enumerate all who had a little sense, and therefore, in spiteof the times of Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero, lived eightyand ninety years? Let even such a man as Domitius Afer serve thee asan example. He has grown old quietly, though all his life he has been acriminal and a villain."

  "Perhaps for that very reason!" answered Vinicius.

  Then he began to glance over the list and read: "Tigellinus, Vatinius,Sextus Africanus, Aquilinus Regulus, Suilius Nerulinus, EpriusMarcellus, and so on! What an assembly of ruffians and scoundrels! Andto say that they govern the world! Would it not become them better toexhibit an Egyptian or Syrian divinity through villages, jingle sistra,and earn their bread by telling fortunes or dancing?"

  "Or exhibiting learned monkeys, calculating dogs, or a flute-playingass," added Petronius. "That is true, but let us speak of something moreimportant. Summon thy attention and listen. I have said on the Palatinethat thou art ill, unable to leave the house; still thy name is on thelist, which proves that some one does not credit my stories and has seento this purposely. Nero cares nothing for the matter, since for him thouart a soldier, who has no conception of poetry or music, and with whomat the very highest he can talk only about races in the circus. SoPoppaea must have seen to putting down thy name, which means that herdesire for thee was not a passing whim, and that she wants to win thee."

  "She is a daring Augusta."

  "Indeed she is daring, for she may ruin herself beyond redemption. MayVenus inspire her, however, with another love as soon as possible; butsince she desires thee thou must observe the very greatest caution.She has begun to weary Bronzebeard already; he prefers Rubria now, orPythagoras, but, through consideration of self, he would wreak the mosthorrible vengeance on us."

  "In the grove I knew not that she was speaking to me; but thou wertlistening. I said that I loved another, and did not wish her. Thouknowest that."

  "I implore thee, by all the infernal gods, lose not the remnant ofreason which the Christians have left in thee. How is it possible tohesitate, having a choice between probable and certain destruction?Have I not said already that if thou hadst wounded the Augusta's vanity,there would have been no rescue for thee? By Hades! if life has grownhateful to thee, better open thy veins at once, or cast thyself on asword, for shouldst thou offend Poppaea, a less easy death may meet thee.It was easier once to converse with thee. What concerns thee specially?Would this affair cause thee loss, or hinder thee from loving thy Lygia?Remember, besides, that Poppaea saw her on the Palatine. It will not bedifficult for her to guess w
hy thou art rejecting such lofty favor, andshe will get Lygia even from under the earth. Thou wilt ruin not onlythyself, but Lygia too. Dost understand?"

  Vinicius listened as if thinking of something else, and at last hesaid,--

  "I must see her."

  "Who? Lygia?"

  "Lygia."

  "Dost thou know where she is?"

  "No."

  "Then thou wilt begin anew to search for her in old cemeteries andbeyond the Tiber?"

  "I know not, but I must see her."

  "Well, though she is a Christian, it may turn out that she has morejudgment than thou; and it will certainly, unless she wishes thy ruin."

  Vinicius shrugged his shoulders. "She saved me from the hands of Ursus."

  "Then hurry, for Bronzebeard will not postpone his departure. Sentencesof death may be issued in Antium also."

  But Vinicius did not hear. One thought alone occupied him, an interviewwith Lygia; hence he began to think over methods.

  Meanwhile something intervened which might set aside every difficulty.Chilo came to his house unexpectedly.

  He entered wretched and worn, with signs of hunger on his face and inrags; but the servants, who had the former command to admit him atall hours of the day or night, did not dare to detain him, so he wentstraight to the atrium, and standing before Vinicius said,--"May thegods give thee immortality, and share with thee dominion over theworld."

  Vinicius at the first moment wished to give the order to throw himout of doors; but the thought came to him that the Greek perhaps knewsomething of Lygia, and curiosity overcame his disgust.

  "Is that thou?" asked he. "What has happened to thee?"

  "Evil, O son of Jove," answered Chilo. "Real virtue is a ware for whichno one inquires now, and a genuine sage must be glad of this even, thatonce in five days he has something with which to buy from the butcher asheep's head, to gnaw in a garret, washing it down with his tears. Ah,lord! What thou didst give me I paid Atractus for books, and afterwardI was robbed and ruined. The slave who was to write down my wisdomfled, taking the remnant of what thy generosity bestowed on me. I amin misery, but I thought to myself: To whom can I go, if not to thee, OSerapis, whom I love and deify, for whom I have exposed my life?"

  "Why hast thou come, and what dost thou bring?"

  "I come for aid, O Baal, and I bring my misery, my tears, my love, andfinally the information which through love for thee I have collected.Thou rememberest, lord, I told thee once how I had given a slave of thedivine Petronius one thread from the girdle of the Paphian Venus? I knownow that it helped her, and thou, O descendant of the Sun, who knowestwhat is happening in that house, knowest also what Eunice is there. Ihave another such thread. I have preserved it for thee, lord."

  Here he stopped, on noticing the anger which was gathering on the browsof Vinicius, and said quickly, so as to anticipate the outburst,--

  "I know where the divine Lygia is living; I will show thee the streetand the house."

  Vinicius repressed the emotion with which that news filled him, andsaid,--"Where is she?"

  "With Linus, the elder priest of the Christians. She is there withUrsus, who goes as before to the miller, a namesake of thy dispensatorDemas. Yes, Demas! Ursus works in the night; so if thou surround thehouse at night, thou wilt not find him. Linus is old, and besides himthere are only two aged women in the house."

  "Whence dost thou know all this?"

  "Thou rememberest, lord, that the Christians had me in their hands, andspared me. True, Glaucus was mistaken in thinking that I was thecause of his misfortunes; but he believed that I was, poor man, and hebelieves so yet. Still they spared me. Then be not astonished, lord,that gratitude filled my heart. I am a man of former, of better times.This was my thought: Am I to desert friends and benefactors? Would I nothave been hard-hearted not to inquire about them, not to learn whatwas happening to them, how health was serving them, and where they wereliving? By the Pessinian Cybele! I am not capable of such conduct.At first I was restrained by fear that they might interpret my wishesincorrectly. But the love which I bore them proved greater than my fear,and the ease with which they forgive every injustice lent me specialcourage. But above all I was thinking of thee, lord. Our last attemptended in defeat; but can such a son of Fortune be reconciled withdefeat? So I prepared victory for thee. The house stands apart. Thoumayst give command to thy slaves to surround it so that not a mousecould escape. My lord, on thee alone it depends to have that magnanimousking's daughter in thy house this very night. But should that happen,remember that the cause of it is the very poor and hungry son of myfather."

  The blood rushed to Vinicius's head. Temptation shook all his beingagain. Yes; that was the method, and this time a certain one. Oncehe has Lygia in his house, who can take her? Once he makes Lygia hismistress, what will be left to her, unless to remain so forever? And letall religions perish! What will the Christians mean to him then, withtheir mercy and forbidding faith? Is it not time to shake himself freeof all that? Is it not time to live as all live? What will Lygia dolater, save to reconcile her fate with the religion which she professes?That, too, is a question of inferior significance. Those are mattersdevoid of importance. First of all, she will be his,--and his this veryday. And it is a question, too, whether that religion will hold outin her soul against the world which is new to her, against luxury, andexcitements to which she must yield. All may happen to-day. He needsonly to detain Chilo, and give an order at dark. And then delightwithout end! "What has my life been?" thought Vinicius; "suffering,unsatisfied desire, and an endless propounding of problems withoutanswer." In this way all will be cut short and ended. He recollected,it is true, that he had promised not to raise a hand against her. But bywhat had he sworn? Not by the gods, for he did not believe in them;not by Christ, for he did not believe in him yet. Finally, if she feelsinjured, he will marry her, and thus repair the wrong. Yes; to that hefeels bound, for to her he is indebted for life. Here he recalled theday in which with Croton he had attacked her retreat; he remembered theLygian's fist raised above him, and all that had happened later. He sawher again bent over his couch, dressed in the garb of a slave, beautifulas a divinity, a benefactress kind and glorified. His eyes passed tothe lararium unconsciously, and to the little cross which she left himbefore going. Will he pay for all that by a new attack? Will he drag herby the hair as a slave to his cubiculum? And how will he be able to doso, since he not only desires but loves her, and he loves her speciallybecause she is as she is? All at once he felt that it was not enough forhim to have her in the house, it was not enough to seize her in his armsby superior force; he felt that his love needed something more,--herconsent, her loves and her soul. Blessed that roof, if she come under itwillingly; blessed the moment, blessed the day, blessed his life. Thenthe happiness of both will be as inexhaustible as the ocean, as the sun.But to seize her by violence would be to destroy that happiness forever,and at the same time to destroy, and defile that which is most preciousand alone beloved in life. Terror seized him now at the very thoughtof this. He glanced at Chilo, who, while watching him, pushed his handsunder his rags and scratched himself uneasily. That instant, disgustunspeakable took possession of Vinicius, and a wish to trample thatformer assistant of his, as he would a foul worm or venomous serpent. Inan instant he knew what to do. But knowing no measure in anything, andfollowing the impulse of his stern Roman nature, he turned toward Chiloand said,--

  "I will not do what thou advisest, but, lest thou go without justreward, I will command to give thee three hundred stripes in thedomestic prison."

  Chilo grew pale. There was so much cold resolution in the beautiful faceof Vinicius that he could not deceive himself for a moment with the hopethat the promised reward was no more than a cruel jest.

  Hence he threw himself on his knees in one instant, and bending doublebegan to groan in a broken voice,--"How, O king of Persia? Why?--Opyramid of kindness! Colossus of mercy! For what?--I am old, hungry,unfortunate--I have served thee--dost thou repay in
this manner?"

  "As thou didst the Christians," said Vinicius. And he called thedispensator.

  But Chilo sprang toward his feet, and, embracing them convulsively,talked, while his face was covered with deathly pallor,--"O lord, Olord! I am old! Fifty, not three hundred stripes. Fifty are enough! Ahundred, not three hundred! Oh, mercy, mercy!"

  Vinicius thrust him away with his foot, and gave the order. In thetwinkle of an eye two powerful Quadi followed the dispensator, and,seizing Chilo by the remnant of his hair, tied his own rags around hisneck and dragged him to the prison.

  "In the name of Christ!" called the Greek, at the exit of the corridor.

  Vinicius was left alone. The order just issued roused and enlivenedhim. He endeavored to collect his scattered thoughts, and bring them toorder. He felt great relief, and the victory which he had gained overhimself filled him with comfort. He thought that he had made some greatapproach toward Lygia, and that some high reward should be given him.At the first moment it did not even occur to him that he had done agrievous wrong to Chilo, and had him flogged for the very acts for whichhe had rewarded him previously. He was too much of a Roman yet to bepained by another man's suffering, and to occupy his attention with onewretched Greek. Had he even thought of Chilo's suffering he would haveconsidered that he had acted properly in giving command to punish sucha villain. But he was thinking of Lygia, and said to her: I will not paythee with evil for good; and when thou shalt learn how I acted withhim who strove to persuade me to raise hands against thee, thou wilt begrateful. But here he stopped at this thought: Would Lygia praisehis treatment of Chilo? The religion which she professes commandsforgiveness; nay, the Christians forgave the villain, though they hadgreater reasons for revenge. Then for the first time was heard in hissoul the cry: "In the name of Christ!" He remembered then that Chilohad ransomed himself from the hands of Ursus with such a cry, and hedetermined to remit the remainder of the punishment.

  With that object he was going to summon the dispensator, when thatperson stood before him, and said,--"Lord, the old man has fainted, andperhaps he is dead. Am I to command further flogging?"

  "Revive him and bring him before me."

  The chief of the atrium vanished behind the curtain, but the revivalcould not have been easy, for Vinicius waited a long time and wasgrowing impatient, when the slaves brought in Chilo, and disappeared ata signal.

  Chilo was as pale as linen, and down his legs threads of blood wereflowing to the mosaic pavement of the atrium. He was conscious, however,and, falling on his knees, began to speak, with extended hands,--"Thanksto thee, lord. Thou art great and merciful."

  "Dog," said Vinicius, "know that I forgave thee because of that Christto whom I owe my own life."

  "O lord, I will serve Him and thee."

  "Be silent and listen. Rise! Thou wilt go and show me the house in whichLygia dwells."

  Chilo sprang up; but he was barely on his feet when he grew more deathlypale yet, and said in a failing voice,--"Lord, I am really hungry--Iwill go, lord, I will go! but I have not the strength. Command to giveme even remnants from the plate of thy dog, and I will go."

  Vinicius commanded to give him food, a piece of gold, and a mantle. ButChilo, weakened by stripes and hunger, could not go to take food, thoughterror raised the hair on his head, lest Vinicius might mistake hisweakness for stubbornness and command to flog him anew.

  "Only let wine warm me," repeated he, with chattering teeth, "I shall beable to go at once, even to Magna Graecia."

  He regained some strength after a time, and they went out.

  The way was long, for, like the majority of Christians, Linus dwelt inthe Trans-Tiber, and not far from Miriam. At last Chilo showed Viniciusa small house, standing apart, surrounded by a wall covered entirelywith ivy, and said,

  "Here it is, lord."

  "Well," said Vinicius, "go thy way now, but listen first to what I tellthee. Forget that thou hast served me; forget where Miriam, Peter, andGlaucus dwell; forget also this house, and all Christians. Thou wiltcome every month to my house, where Demas, my freedman, will pay theetwo pieces of gold. But shouldst thou spy further after Christians, Iwill have thee flogged, or delivered into the hands of the prefect ofthe city."

  Chilo bowed down, and said,--"I will forget."

  But when Vinicius vanished beyond the corner of the street, he stretchedhis hands after him, and, threatening with his fists, exclaimed,--"ByAte and the Furies! I will not forget!"

  Then he grew faint again.