The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

by Cathy McDavid

  “For now,” his mom conceded. “But I don’t like hiding things from him.”

  “I promise it won’t be for long.”

  He appreciated her predicament. Like him, like all of them, she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She wanted to abide by her husband’s wishes, protect her eldest son’s reputation and his shaky marriage, and make his life easier by helping with his medical bills.

  She was equally determined that Tanner not continue bearing an unfair burden. And she was committed to making a place in the family for her newest grandchild and that grandchild’s mother. He couldn’t ask more of her, not with a clear conscience.

  “By the way, how are Daniel and Rosalyn doing?” he asked. “Any better? I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

  “No, unfortunately. I’m more and more convinced they’ll separate after Christmas. That’s the last thing Daniel needs right now. He’s barely holding it together.”

  Just then, Jewel emerged from the mothers’ lounge, pushing Ava’s stroller ahead of her.

  “Hey. Sorry to cut you short, Mom. Jewel’s here.”

  “You go. Have some fun, and don’t fret about anything. There’s no problem that won’t wait until tomorrow.”

  “Tell Dad hi. I love you.”

  “Love you, too, son. Kiss Ava for me, and see you this weekend.”

  He flashed Jewel a huge grin as she neared. “There you are.”

  “Sorry we took so long. One of us was being fussy.”

  She must not have stopped in front of a mirror on her way out, for her pink stocking cap with its snowy white tassel sat askew on her head. Likely Ava’s doing. Lately she’d been grabbing at any object within reach.

  Tanner started to say something and then changed his mind. “Wait.”

  Without giving her the chance to object, he reached out and adjusted the cap, tugging it down over her ears. “Now you don’t look like you’ve had one too many rum eggnogs.”

  Fortunately, she reacted with a laugh and didn’t slap his hands away. “I appreciate you taking care of me.”

  He lowered his voice. “Always, Jewel. You and Ava.”

  Her laugh mellowed to a smile, and she stared at him with those large, luminous brown eyes. “Tanner...”

  He figured she was about to warn him off again. Not tonight, he decided and drew her into his embrace.

  “I know you’re mad at me.”

  She tensed but didn’t pull away. “I’m not mad at you.”

  “Confused? Cautious? Scared? Worried?”

  “A little of each, to be honest. I’d rather not have my life implode two Christmases in a row. Neither do I want to give you false hope. I’m glad you didn’t cheat. More than glad. I’m elated. But that doesn’t make our problems disappear.”

  “I get it.”

  He wouldn’t tell her what his mother had said about the arena owners and the American Rodeo Report news segment. She’d be that much more confused, cautious, scared and worried.

  She met his gaze. “I have some news.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I have a potential photography job. For an art store. They’re launching a spring marketing campaign. One of the store owners was a recent bride at Sweetheart Ranch.”

  “Congratulations! That’s great.”

  “It’s not a done deal. I’m taking sample pictures first. If they like my work, we’ll go from there.”

  “I have no doubt you’ll wow them.”

  “We’ll see.”

  At the odd note in her voice, he asked. “What’s up?”

  “The sample photo shoot is the third week of January.”

  Interesting. “You’re staying on, then?”

  “I’m staying longer. Not sure about the rest.”

  Longer was good enough for him. He tightened his hold on her. “Let’s celebrate.”

  “No alcohol. I’m nursing.”

  He lowered his head. “I was thinking of something else.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  “How about...” He nuzzled her cheek. Her skin was cold in contrast to her warm breath, which tickled his neck. “We...” He brushed his lips across hers and pressed his palm into the center of her back, bringing her closer. “Get...out of here.”

  Her brows shot up. “We just arrived.”

  “Get out of here and head to the concession stand for some hot chocolate.”

  She groaned with exaggerated frustration. “Quit teasing me.”

  Like that was possible. He loved getting a rise out of her. Plus, she made it easy.

  Ava may have been fussy earlier. At the moment, however, she was satisfied with sitting in her stroller and looking about.

  Tanner used the opportunity to its full potential and went in for the kiss, covering Jewel’s mouth with his. He was determined there’d be no thwarted effort tonight. And, to his profound satisfaction, there wasn’t.

  Her lips moved in perfect harmony with his, giving and then taking. Sweet yet sensual. When he would have ended the kiss—they were in public, after all—she grabbed the fabric of his jacket and crushed it between her fingers, keeping him anchored to her. Not that Tanner was going anywhere.

  It had been far too long since he’d held her. Their connection, as always, was immediate and all consuming. Tanner kissed her like a man who’d lost the woman he loved and, thank God, found her again.

  Eventually, common sense kicked in and, smiling shyly, they broke apart. As she moved away, Tanner vowed to himself he wouldn’t wait so long to hold Jewel like that again.

  “You ready for that hot chocolate?”

  She inclined her head. “I think we should head over to see Santa first before the line gets too long. After that, can we stop by the table for Sweetheart Ranch? I promised Emily I’d take some pictures.”

  “No problem.”

  When she took hold of the stroller and turned it, he covered her hand with his. Together they pushed Ava. Tanner was convinced anyone observing them would see a family with two doting parents who were crazy about each other and their child. And they’d be right.

  Three-foot-tall candy canes stuck in the grassy ground formed a pathway to see Santa. Tanner, Jewel and Ava took their place behind the last people in line, a disinterested looking dad watching a basketball game on his phone and his two misbehaving youngsters. Tanner felt sorry for the man—he was missing out on a special time with his children, one he’d never get back.

  That wouldn’t be him. Whatever it took, he’d be an active, involved, devoted father.

  The line moved slowly. They passed the time discussing Christmas plans—both Tanner and Jewel had yet to finish their Christmas shopping and agreed to check out the craft booths tonight if there was time. She didn’t bring up his coming clean and instead stuck to neutral subjects like her photography work and a troublesome sore on Teddy Bear’s side.

  “The pictures from the barrel racing event came out really well,” she said. “I might give some to the owner of the Poco Dinero.” She bit her lower lip and looked chagrined. “Or would that be too pushy?”

  “You hoping she’ll hire you?”

  “Or, that she’ll put the pictures on display and give me credit.”

  “Free advertising? I say do it.” Tanner touched her elbow and inched them ahead a few feet. “There’s also that place up north that has bull riding events similar to the Poco Dinero. You might try them, too.”

  “Is that the Cave Creek Rough Stock Rental Company?”

  “Yeah.”

  He didn’t remind Jewel about that being the place the two high school barrel racers had mentioned—right before they’d started gossiping about her and Tanner. He didn’t want to bring up any bad memories, not when the evening was going so well.

  “Do they have a bar?” she asked.

  �
�Only on the nights of events. They also give bull riding lessons on Saturday mornings.”

  “Hmm.” Jewel’s eyes sparked with interest. “Have you ever been?”

  “No. Been thinking about it, though.” Actually, he’d been wondering if they were in need of a bull riding instructor.

  “You should.”

  “Compete?” He laughed. “I’m out of practice.”

  “Naw,” she scoffed. “It’s like riding a bike.”

  “Says the person who’s never been on a bull.”

  She dragged him along with her as the line moved. “What did you tell me? Participating is practicing. Besides, I doubt you’re that rusty.”

  “They do have an event tomorrow evening. At seven.” He’d checked their web page this morning when the idea had come to him about an instructor position.

  “You should go! I’m serious.”

  “Umm...no.”

  “Don’t you miss bull riding?”

  “Yeah, sure,” he admitted.

  “Are you afraid of being recognized? Is that what’s holding you back?”

  He would be recognized, and the other competitors might not be happy to see him. That wasn’t the reason, however. His hide had grown pretty thick this last year. “I can handle a little trash talk.”

  “Come on, then. I competed in the barrel racing event. And look, I came in second.”

  “Ow!” He winced. “You swing pretty low.”

  “I’m not swinging, I’m motivating you.”

  That did it. Tanner wasn’t about to be shown up by a barrel racer. “All right. But only if you come with me.”

  “I’m working.”

  “Chicken.”

  She gave an indignant snort. “I’ll be done by three thirty. Pick us up at four thirty. That should leave us plenty of time to get to Cave Creek before the event starts.”

  Bull riding. For all his brave talk, was he really ready to try again?

  Excitement coursed through him. Heck, yeah, he was ready. And while he was there, he’d try and talk to the manager about an instructor job.

  “How will your family feel?”

  Jewel’s question put a damper on his good mood. “They won’t like it.”

  “You going to tell them?”

  “Not right away.” He grinned.

  “I’m proud of you, Tanner.”

  He reached up and cupped her cheek. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

  Before long, it was their turn with Santa. Tanner had met Homer a few times. Even so, he wouldn’t have recognized the man beneath the very convincing fake beard, red hat and added padding around his middle.

  Ava didn’t cry when she was placed in Santa’s lap. Nor did she smile. She just stared. Jewel and Tanner took dozens of pictures with their phones. Jewel even recorded a short video, capturing Santa’s hearty, “Ho, ho, ho,” and Ava grabbing his beard. Good thing her grip wasn’t strong enough to dislodge it.

  Jewel pocketed the candy cane Santa’s elf gave them when they departed. Tanner removed several bills from his wallet and left a donation in the decorated toy box. Outside the area, they stopped for a moment, laughing when they realized they were both sending pictures of Ava and Santa to their respective mothers.

  They went from there to the table for Sweetheart Ranch where Jewel unpacked her camera from the stroller and quickly took several shots from different angles.

  “How about that hot chocolate?” Tanner asked when she was done.

  It was getting cold and he could use something to warm his insides. Since cuddling with Jewel was out of the question, for the meantime, anyway, he’d have to settle for a hot drink.

  Hopefully, that would change. Bull riding tomorrow in Cave Creek could wind up being a disaster. It could also be exactly the step he needed to take to fix his broken life. He was willing to take the chance. With Jewel, he thought, and reached for her hand.

  * * *

  THE REASON TANNER stored his bull riding equipment at his parents’ home wasn’t because he lacked room at Powell Ranch. He simply preferred as few reminders of his glory days as possible. Neither of his parents had remarked much when he’d carted the various canvas bags and cases containing his protective gear, bull ropes, boots, chaps, spurs, gloves and even his favorite shirt to the tack room in the barn behind their house last January.

  What could they have said? “You’re doing the right thing,” from his dad and, “I’m so sorry, honey,” from his mom wouldn’t have healed his wounds.

  No doubt they’d have something to say today when he retrieved those items. He could already hear his dad’s, “What the heck are you thinking?” and his mom’s, “Is this wise, honey?”

  Tanner was dropping by their house with the excuse of picking up the holiday cookies and pumpkin bread his mom had offered him yesterday. Depending on how the visit went, he might tell them of his plans to compete tonight at the bull riding event in Cave Creek. More likely he’d sneak out back when no one was looking.

  As he turned onto their street and neared the house, he spied his sister-in-law’s minivan and muttered under his breath. He’d have enough of a fight on his hands if his parents discovered him retrieving his equipment. Daniel and Rosalyn being there would make it far worse.

  He briefly considered driving past the house and calling his mom to tell her an emergency had arisen at work. But then he wouldn’t have his equipment for tonight, and competing was important to him. He needed to prove to himself and Jewel that he was serious about taking his life back and committed to their future.

  Parking in the driveway next to Rosalyn’s minivan, he got out and headed up the walkway to the front door. After knocking loudly, he entered. His parents had a come-on-in rule where close family was concerned, particularly when the visit was expected like this one.

  “Anybody home?” he called out to the empty living room.

  “In here.” His mother’s voice carried from the large great room.

  Rounding the corner, he found his parents, brother and sister-in-law sitting at the dining table. Tanner’s four-year-old niece and two-year-old nephew were sprawled out on the nearby sectional couch, watching cartoons on the TV.

  “Morning, son.” His mom pushed away from the table and gave him a hug. “Perfect timing. Daniel, Rosalyn and the children just got here.”

  The rest greeted him with big smiles and warm hellos. Kisses on cheeks and claps on backs were exchanged. Tanner’s niece Lisa-Anne popped up from her place on the sectional and scrambled over.

  “Hi, Uncle Tanner.”

  “Hi to you, kiddo.” Sitting in the nearest empty chair, he ruffled her hair affectionately.

  “Did you bring my baby cousin?”

  “Sorry. Not this time.”

  “When?” she pleaded. She’d been eager to meet Ava from the moment she’d learned about her.

  “On Christmas when we all go to brunch.”

  “That’s sooooo long.” She twisted sideways and threw herself dramatically onto his knee.

  “Five days. Not that long.”

  “I wanna play with her.”

  “She’s too little for playing. But you can hold her.”

  “Yay!” Lisa-Anne hauled herself upright and clapped.

  Little Montgomery—Monty for short—didn’t have much interest in conversing with Tanner. He made straight for his grandmother who lifted him onto her lap where he snuggled close and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

  With no baby cousin to see, Lisa-Anne lost interest in Tanner and pestered her mother for more juice. Balancing a full cup, she returned to her place in front of the TV.

  Tanner helped himself to some coffee from the pot on the table. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said to his brother as he poured.

  “Mom and Dad are babysitting for us while we run errands.” Daniel stre
ssed the last two words.

  “Ah.” Tanner nodded. Santa’s helpers must be needing some alone time for shopping.

  He grabbed a piece of the coffee cake his mom had set out on a platter. Taking a bite, he mentally formulated a plan to get to the barn for his equipment without raising suspicion.

  “I told Rosalyn she could go alone and that I’d watch the kids, rather than inconvenience the folks.” Daniel patted his wife’s hand. “She insisted I come with her.”

  “It’s nice you’re shopping together,” Tanner’s mom said. “And we don’t mind babysitting. Nothing I love more.”

  “I don’t think she trusts me alone with the kids.”

  “Quit making jokes like that.” Rosalyn slid her hand away. “They’re not funny.”

  “But they’re true.”

  Her mouth flattened in annoyance.

  Tanner wondered if he was the only one who noticed she didn’t contradict Daniel. Taking another bite of coffee cake, he studied her discreetly.

  Her features were more strained than usual, and he was fairly certain she’d lost even more weight. Her hair, normally styled attractively, had been knotted and stuffed into one of those cheap plastic clips. The red lipstick she’d applied stood out against the pallor of her cheeks.

  Given her appearance and Daniel’s biting remark, Tanner assumed the situation at home wasn’t any better. Likely worse.

  Truthfully, and sadly, Rosalyn didn’t trust Daniel alone with the kids and dreaded leaving him in charge. In her defense, his mobility limitations made chasing after a trouble-seeking toddler and lively preschooler hard. His meds slowed his responses even further. And there were his unpredictable mood swings and temper outbursts. Without Rosalyn to act as a buffer, the kids would receive the brunt of his anger and impatience should something set him off.

  Tanner wasn’t especially close to Rosalyn, and they’d had their differences in the past. But he wouldn’t have wished this on her for the world.

  They chatted about nothing much for the next ten minutes. Tanner’s mom had received a number of cards from family members and old friends, including a holiday letter, and she recounted the noteworthy news.