“I think it would teach him a lesson to have her watch.” Snowden persisted in his madness.
“Probably.” Paul pushed off the doorjamb. He examined his knuckles with bored disinterest then puffed out a breath. “I suppose I could push off my work. I just needed to get it done today.”
Snowden looked back at me. I could see the gears churning in his head. Forcing me to be present would fuck with Forest’s head, but I sensed Snowden didn’t want me there. He looked forward to his mornings with Forest alone.
“I suppose she can go with you. Make sure you look into—” Snowden didn’t finish his sentence. His attention shifted to Forest, and he pressed his lips into a tight line.
“That was my plan,” Paul said.
“Watch her.”
“Always,” Paul said.
Snowden turned the weight of his gaze to Forest. “Get your cuffs and collar on and meet me by the door.”
Forest pushed off from the counter. All signs of his erection were gone. He twisted to move past Snowden’s bulk.
“We’re going to have fun today.” Snowden grabbed Forest’s arm.
Forest said nothing as Snowden released him.
Paul made a show of defiance, blocking Forest. Too much testosterone clotted the air, and I was acutely aware I was propped on the bathroom counter. I slowly slipped off and pressed myself against the wall.
“Be a good girl, Miss Sara,” Snowden said.
I gulped and gave a shaky nod.
Forest locked away his emotions and trailed behind Snowden.
Paul and I went to work.
The days blended together, starting exactly the same.
Forest and I would wake, steal a touch, maybe a kiss. Snowden collected Forest and returned him hours later worse for wear. Some days were better than others, but the torture ground Forest down. He came back weak, battered, bruised, and non-communicative.
Forest being Forest, minimized his pain. Then lashed out, taking out his aggression with Paul in what I could only describe as sexual warfare. The two of them battled for dominance with angry, vicious sex. Forest had a lot of anger to work off.
Most days, Paul came out on top of their battles, but there was a time or two when Paul let Forest have his way. Those were usually days when Forest seemed most distant. At night, my compassion put Forest back together again.
I was the tender to Paul’s rough.
The soft to his hard.
The kind to his cruelty.
We were two imperfect halves holding Forest together.
With each passing day, the hatred I had for Paul faded. In its place, my admiration grew.
Paul and I spent our days together. I performed tedious clerical work or sat and read a book while he worked. We then returned to our quarters to wait for Forest.
Without fail, Forest headed straight to the shower, saying little as he put whatever happened behind him. I’d learned to give him space and curled up on the couch where I waited.
Paul checked in on Forest’s mental state. If Forest was okay, we shared a quick meal. If not, Paul took care of Forest as only he could. Forest would rage in the bathroom as Paul provided the outlet Forest needed.
Their brutal aggression and combative sex was a thing of beauty. Two powerful men, grappling with each other, struggling to take, to claim, to rut. It was insanely hot.
I got kisses, hugs, and cuddles from Forest, but we still hadn’t had sex. I sensed Forest’s shame in that and didn’t push.
How difficult must it be for a man to make love to a woman when he was degraded daily by a monster?
Our evenings generally wound down. Forest held me, and eventually sleep would take him away from it all until morning came.
Rinse and repeat, we did it over again, and again, and again, until I thought I would go mad.
I didn’t know how Forest was keeping it together.
Chapter Forty-Two
Forest
I was a patient man, but things were taking too damn long.
The code I’d installed on Paul’s phone should be integrated into Snowden’s operating systems by now, opening up a back door for my team. It should also be on every damn device in the facility.
Mitzy should have Snowden’s compound fully mapped and should have access codes to every door.
Should have.
But it was still taking time.
Too much damn time.
I walked a tight line with Snowden. All I had to do was bide my time, but Snowden was grinding me down.
It fucking sucked.
The passwords to his network must still elude Xavier’s team. That would be the only reason he hadn’t acted.
From day one, I put my plan in motion, knowing it would take weeks before that tiny bit of programming would spread.
Time was my enemy.
I couldn’t wait until Snowden realized what he’d done by bringing me inside his enclave. Not that getting captured had been the plan, but it worked to my advantage.
Sara told me about Snowden’s growing frustration. That was the only confirmation I had that my plan was in motion.
My job was to endure.
Fucking endure.
Paul’s soft snores sounded from the other room. He’d taken up residence on the couch. Sara curled in my arms, tucked up tight against me as she slept.
My sleep came in fits and bursts. My mind refused to turn off, and I obsessed continuously over how my team was doing.
How long had it taken before they received the first coded message?
How long before Mitzy discovered I’d opened a back door into Snowden’s security systems?
How long was it going to take Raven and her mad hacker skills to break through the firewall, keeping us from what we needed?
And every day, I prayed Xavier understood that we had to wait. Acting too soon would destroy everything, and our one chance would be lost.
In the meantime, I broke beneath Snowden’s brutal blows. My body caved to his twisted desires. I allowed Snowden to believe he was winning our little war. The thing he wanted most was the one thing I withheld, but some days I barely had the strength to hold on. The moment I caved would be the end.
So we played our little game.
“Forest?” Sara rolled over. “What are you doing awake?”
“Just thinking.” I swept a strand of hair off her face.
“You should try to sleep.”
I knew what she was trying to say. I needed my strength to make it through the day, but I couldn’t stop rearranging the chess pieces at play in my head.
One misstep and I would lose everything.
“I know.” I kissed her forehead.
The smile on her face was a beacon showing me the way home. All I needed was to avoid the jagged rocks between here and there. She placed her palm on my chest, right over my heart.
“Your heart beats so slowly.” She closed her eyes. “It’s strong and powerful, like you.” Sara let her hand rest over my heart as she counted out the beats.
Her touch awakened sensations that were both foreign yet familiar. Heat pulsed in my groin, and I shifted away. I wanted to take her into my arms and make love to her, but there was never a good time. Not to mention what she must think of me.
The things Snowden did were despicable, depraved things.
They turned my stomach.
I could only imagine the disgust she must feel when she looked at me. I couldn’t be the man she needed while letting Snowden do what he did to me, but I did it to keep Sara safe and buy the time we needed before rescue came.
Someday, this would all be a distant memory. Until then, we existed in this limbo state as lovers who couldn’t make love.
When someday came, I could only hope she’d allow me to take her as I dreamed about doing every damn night. It wasn’t fair that I got to be with Paul when I wanted to be with her as well, but there was never a good time.
I wouldn’t touch her with Snowden’s taint covering my flesh. He dis
gusted me.
After I washed the filth off my body, Paul gave me what I needed to forget. Instead of a man who’d been beaten and raped, I could become a man who fucked because I wanted it, rather than…rather than how Snowden made me feel.
I needed that more than Paul would ever know.
Unfortunately, that didn’t leave much room for Sara. I hated that because I needed her more than life itself.
Thinking about her sent heat shooting to my groin, where it coiled with potent need. Each beat of my heart sent blood surging to my dick. It swelled with the desire I denied it, wanting to slip inside her body and finally taste what we’d been missing.
My mind fogged over as lust swept through me.
All the reasons I’d been keeping Sara at arm’s length faded. It didn’t change how she must feel about me, but damn if I didn’t care. I needed to be with her…and not just a hug or a kiss.
I acted without really thinking about it, moving more on instinct than thought.
Shifting her to lie beneath me, I ignored her tiny squeak as I crushed my mouth against hers. Need overpowered me.
“Forest…” Her breathy moan sounded like heaven.
The way her arms wrapped around me felt like sin.
Her fingers winding through my hair drove me insane.
Anticipation of what we could be together filled me with a thousand regrets for the horror I’d put her through.
Sara wouldn’t be here, if not for me.
Raw desire ricocheted through me and gathered in my groin. I grew dizzy with the need filling me.
Her soft fingers gripped my nape. Her breathy moans repeated my name. The addictiveness of her mouth, her sweet essence, made my taste buds riot as I swept in and devoured every crevice.
Our tongues tangled, frantic with need, and that’s when I realized she wasn’t pulling away.
“Sara?”
There were tears in her eyes.
“Please don’t stop. Don’t shut down on me.”
“Shut down?” Hell, I was ready to rock and roll. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
I lifted a little, worried the weight of my body was crushing her, but she placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled me back down.
“I won’t break.”
How many years had it been?
Decades?
I’d only ever had sex with one woman, and very little of that had been soft. My mind spiraled out of the moment with memories I didn’t want.
“Forest…” Sara’s soft voice drew me back, or maybe that was the hand she put on my dick. “Stay with me.”
“My God, your hand feels fucking incredible.”
Sure and confident, she slowly stroked my long length.
“I’m not made of china. It’s okay if you need to be a little…rough.”
Shit, she’d only ever seen me with Paul. What he and I did together couldn’t be called rough. It was borderline brutal.
But that was the point, right?
To take back what Snowden stole, I needed Paul’s unrestrained fury and uncompromising dominance. The collision of our bodies, taking and breaking, erased the worst of what Snowden did.
I would not do that with Sara. I wouldn’t be rough. We would do this slow and soft.
Gentle, with love.
I would savor our first time, not rush her through it.
“Forest, stop thinking so damn hard and make love to me.”
“I may not be able to control…”
“I don’t want you to control anything.”
Her thumb rubbed at the sensitive bundle of nerves beneath my glans. My hips bucked as I rocked into her palm with a low groan.
“Shit, that feels amazing, but if you don’t stop, I’m going to come like a one-pump-and-done virgin.”
“No, you won’t,” she said with a giggle. “I plan on drawing this out.”
“At least we’re on the same page.” I bent down and kissed the soft hollow of her throat. I lifted until I could stare into her eyes. I could lose myself there forever. “Do you want to do this?”
“It’s all I think about.”
“You don’t think less of me because of what he does to me?”
“You’re the strongest, most selfless man I know. Snowden doesn’t define you. He means nothing.” She bit her lower lip and slid her hand down my shaft.
I about lost it.
Gripping her wrist, I pulled her hand off my dick.
“I’m serious. I won’t last. I’ve wanted to do this forever, and I agree on the not rushing part.” I glanced at the soft cotton shirt she slept in. “We need to get this off.”
I wore nothing.
Clothes were a hindrance when I slept.
I gripped the bottom of her shirt and helped her out of it. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and I took no time in claiming one of her breasts.
Sara arched against me as I licked and sucked. The pink skin of her areola puckered as her nipple drew into a tight bud. She gripped my neck, lifting herself to my mouth while I tasted and teased.
The rush of her breaths ran over me, tiny panting gasps, as I moved from one breast to the other. My only goal was to give each nipple equal time in my mouth. I didn’t know how I managed to control myself because Sara was a delectable feast.
But I did.
I would take my time working her up.
My thumb hooked on the fabric of her panties.
“These need to come off as well. I need to taste you.”
She lifted as I slid her panties over her hips, around the gentle swell of her ass, and down her tight toned legs until her delicate feet kicked free of the scrap of fabric.
Bared for me, all it would take was one well-placed thrust, and I would finally know if she felt as good as I’d always dreamed.
But first…
I kissed the flat expanse of her belly, admiring the swell of her breasts, the narrowing of her waist, the gentle flare of her hips, and the trim little patch over her mound. With great reverence, I pressed my lips there and breathed in her heady scent.
“God, you smell like heaven.”
“Forest!” She gave a little screech and clamped her legs together.
“What?” I took another deep inhale. Her sweet scent flooded my nostrils and drove me insane. “You smell divine.”
“I’m sure I don’t—”
I took another long breath.
“Trust me, angel, you have no idea how crazy you make me. Now spread those legs. I want to taste you.”
She cried out as I took one long, languid lick along her slit.
She was so different from a man.
Men were rigid and hard.
She was soft and yielding, the perfect complement to me in every way.
I licked along her petal-soft folds, breathing in her scent. The slow glide of my tongue made her squirm as I slowly teased her toward orgasm. I knew what she wanted, and the sensations that would get her off, but slow and determined was my game plan.
I intended to make this last forever.
As I buried my face between her thighs, she dug her fingers into my scalp and slowly flexed her hips against my face. I pushed my tongue into her slit, fucking her with a gentle tease of what would come.
Her juices covered my mouth and chin as I worked her into a frenzy. To take my full length, she would need to be ready. I still worried I would hurt her when we finally fucked.
She drew a shuttered breath as I heated her up.
“Forest…” Her soft sigh made me smile. She wrapped her legs around my shoulders, opening for me.
Adding my hands into the mix, I moved to her clit, licking and sucking the tiny nub as I slipped a finger into her wet heat. She writhed beneath me, squirming with the sensations I pulled from her body, bringing a smile to my face.
I kept my kisses slow, the licks of my tongue soft, and changed the angle to keep her on edge. All the while, I whispered sweet nothings, soft murmurs of my love for her that wound
around my heart and made me feel complete.
Whole.
Undamaged.
Desired.
Using my fingers, I pumped in and out, coating her with her juices in preparation to take me in. Her body bucked beneath me as soft mewling sounds escaped her mouth. I circled my fingers inside of her while turning my attention to her clit.
She arched against me and cried out as she came all over my face. Her climax was a thing of beauty, and I lapped up her juices. The muscles of her walls contracted, wrapping around my fingers like a velvet glove.
“God, I need to be in you.” My low growl heated the air.
“Yes! Hurry.”
“I love your eagerness.”
Her need had me clamping my jaw as I bit back the need to rut and take. This was about giving, but my control was slipping. I pulled back and climbed over her body until we stared at each other. Her hands went to my hips, and she gave a brief nod.
“Please…”
Her plea was heartfelt, and there was no longer any need to wait. Except for one thing. My entire body froze, but then she flashed a foil packet in front of my face.
“I may have been overly hopeful and kept one under my pillow.”
“Hopeful?”
“Just make love to me already.”
I didn’t need encouragement. With a rip and a little adjusting, I sheathed myself then spread her knees apart. She took no time in hooking her ankles over my back.
Reaching between us, I parted her folds, then placed the tip of my cock at her entrance.
“Sara…” I breathed out her name as if it was a prayer. “I’ve wanted to do this forever.”
She arched her back, which pressed her soft folds against the tip. I held back a moan and pushed inside, slowly.
Afraid my size would overwhelm her, or hurt her, I took my time sinking in. Gritting my teeth, I held back the overwhelming urge to come as I sank into heaven.
“Goddammit, you’re tight.”
“The better to fuck you,” she said with a grin.
“You got that right.”
I moved slowly, letting her body stretch and adjust to my size. My body fought my control as heat blazed through me. The muscles of my torso strained, my jaw clenched, and my eyes glazed over with the need to move. I tried to rein in my control but knew this was a battle I would eventually lose.
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