Missing in Conard County

by Rachel Lee

Her appetite was coming back and just before she took a bite of pizza, she said, “I think Gage would try anything that had even a remote chance of helping.”

  “I’d walk barefoot on desert sand right now. I think he’s probably feeling about the same.”

  “I know I am.”

  She managed to finish the slice, but her mind was wandering down the rabbit hole again. What if she’d found the car a little earlier? What if she’d looked a little closer for some evidence? Why hadn’t she been more suspicious?

  That was really killing her, that she’d treated a car in the ditch as a matter of no importance once she found that no one was in it and hurt. While that might have been true most of the time, it sure as hell hadn’t been that night.

  God!

  But even so, she wasn’t sure what she might have done differently. She’d been beating her head on that wall since the instant she learned that three young women had been in that car and that all of them were missing.

  What could she have done differently? She didn’t even know who was involved. She’d called the phone number on the registration and left a message when there was no answer. It wasn’t as if she could have even done a thing to raise the alarm earlier.

  Fingers snapped in front of her. Startled, she drew back a little and looked at Al. “What?”

  “Come out of that hole you’re digging. It’s not going to help anything at all, Kelly. Beating yourself up is no help either. I should know.”

  She shook her head a little, but he wouldn’t let her look away. He placed his finger beneath her chin and turned her head toward him. His gray eyes had grown distant and dark, like windows on hell.

  “I was on a mission. Afghanistan. We were supposed to be training a local unit in mountain patrols. Unfortunately, we trusted the wrong people. I lost two men. Two. Our supposed allies turned on us, right when we were vulnerable because we were supposed to be working together. You wanna know how many weeks I spent beating myself up over that?”

  She drew a long breath, unable to look away now. He was sharing something deeply personal and painful, and deserved her full attention. Her heart felt as if it were squeezing in her chest. So much anguish, so carefully controlled.

  “There should have been a clue, I thought. I should have seen some sign that they were plotting, that they weren’t trustworthy, that they meant us harm. How in the hell could I have eaten with them, joked with them, traipsed shoulder to shoulder with them on that patrol and never, never picked up on any warning sign?”

  “Al...” she breathed.

  “Yeah,” he said after a few beats. “I know that hole you’re digging. I’ve plumbed it all the way to the bottom. Thing is, I never got an answer. I just kept hating myself until another officer who’d gone through the same thing finally asked me, ‘Are you supposed to be psychic? Prescient? None of us is that. None.’ I got his point. It was a while before I could let go, and I still get angry, but I’ve had to accept I didn’t do anything wrong.” His gaze lost a bit of its edge. “You didn’t do anything wrong either. Get used to it. It’ll never feel good, but the guilt is wasted. You did everything right.”

  She had a feeling it might be a while before she’d be able to believe that, but she could accept what he was saying about not digging herself into a deep hole. Beating herself up hadn’t done a bit of good so far. Not one little bit.

  He stirred, setting his plate aside on an end table, then scooted over until he could wrap his arm around her shoulders and draw her into a loose but comforting embrace. “I can’t dictate the best way for you to handle this,” he said quietly. “We’re all different and I’m no shrink. But I honestly feel that you didn’t do anything wrong. Not easy to live with, but not everything is easy. Especially stuff like this.”

  She placed her plate on the arm of the sofa and turned into him, enjoying the warmth and strength of his embrace, only in those moments realizing how lonely she’d been feeling in the past few weeks. His scents, of the outdoors, of man, filled her, touching her deeply in ways she hadn’t felt in a long time.

  Yeah, she was surrounded by comrades who’d joined the search, but she still felt alone, probably because she’d been the one to find the car. No one else had to deal with that.

  But Al understood, and he was offering comfort. And while she tried to remain strong at all times, she could remember tears in her own father’s eyes from time to time, and it didn’t seem like weakness to accept the comfort Al was offering.

  He tightened his arm around her shoulders just a bit, making her feel more secure, letting her know that she was welcome. Resting her head on his chest, she listened to his strong, steady heartbeat and watched the play of firelight and his silly little fiber-optic tree. It felt almost as if she’d stepped into some kind of dream.

  Another world, one far away from her worries of the past few weeks. Could it be so bad to take a break for just one evening, especially when the temperature was dropping dramatically outside and no one could possibly continue the search?

  The sight of Bugle happily gnawing on his rawhide added to the feeling of contentment that was trying to rise in her, offering her that break she probably needed. No reason to feel guilty. No reason to beat her head on the problem until morning. She said another prayer for the girls out there and hoped that they’d finally get a break in the morning. But until then...

  Al murmured her name.

  At once she lifted her head and looked at him.

  “I’m no good at this,” he said, brushing a strand of hair back from her face.

  “At what?”

  “I told you. Relationships. But...” Almost as if an invisible force tugged them together, their faces came close and their mouths met. At first it was a tentative kiss, a feeling-out, but not for long. Kelly reached up a hand to cradle the back of his head and draw him closer, to deepen the kiss that soon grew hard and demanding.

  Oh, man, it had been too long, she thought. Entirely too long because of all her scruples about her job but all those scruples seemed to be vanishing before the force of her need for this man.

  This one man, not just any man, she realized hazily as her body began to awaken to desire long suppressed. Man, she should have jumped his bones ages ago. The idea nearly drew a giggle from her.

  Apparently he felt it because he pulled back a little, letting her catch her breath. “What’s funny?”

  She could feel her cheeks heat. She hoped he thought it was the heat from the fireplace, although it wasn’t that warm. “It’s silly,” she said, sounding as if she had to force the words out.

  “Oh. That’s okay. I always thought you were the most wildly beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”

  Wildly beautiful? Her heart slammed and began a rapid tap dance of delight. “I was just thinking...” She drew a breath and blurted it. Truth for truth. “I was just thinking I should have jumped your bones a long time ago.”

  The smile that spread over his face would have lit the arctic night brighter than the aurora. “Oh, I do like the sound of that.”

  With a gentle hand, he cupped her cheek and drew her in for another kiss. “Jump away,” he murmured against her lips. “Anytime.”

  She was falling into him, all wariness and reluctance fading away, her world becoming Al Carstairs. Everything else vanished as her body felt a new tide rising, a tide of need and longing, a tsunami of desire long denied. It was washing through her and over her and driving out everything else.

  The world drifted away, the universe became this one man and their embrace.

  She felt as if everything inside her were quivering, steadily working her into a rhythmic need that made her clench her thighs and start to roll her hips. Oh, man, she needed, wanted...

  A woof startled her. She and Al separated quickly.

  Hazy-eyed, with her lips feeling swollen, she turned her head and saw Bugle eyeing them quizzi
cally.

  “Oh, boy,” said Al. “Jealous?”

  “I’m not sure.” She shook her head a little, trying to come back to reality, much as she didn’t want to. She was, however, acutely aware of what this dog could do if he thought she was in trouble.

  “Maybe,” she said slowly, “it’s his training. He’s not supposed to let anyone touch me except casually.”

  Al snorted. “This could get fun.”

  “This could be maddening,” she replied, regaining some of her sense of humor. “Now I’ve got to figure out how to let him know you’re okay.”

  He laughed. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

  She liked the twinkle in his eyes, and the way he was taking this with humor. At that moment she wasn’t very happy with Bugle. Interference at exactly the wrong time. Her body was still humming with the forces Al had awakened in her, but she had to deal with Bugle first. He probably wouldn’t bite Al without a command, but he could easily insert himself between them as a matter of protection.

  “Hmm,” she said.

  “Yeah,” he answered.

  “Bugle, it’s okay.”

  He tilted his head the other way, as if trying to figure out this new and perplexing situation.

  Kelly leaned slowly into Al’s side and took his hand in hers. Bugle whimpered quietly. “It’s okay,” she said firmly.

  He didn’t budge, but his gaze was skimming over the entire situation.

  “I should have asked Cadel for a command to tell him someone’s a good person,” she remarked dryly. “I could lock him in another room.”

  “I saw what he did to the door in your house. Nope, we gotta win him over. I have an idea.”

  He slid off the couch until he was on the floor. He reached out his hand, letting Bugle sniff him. “Now you come down here, too.”

  Kelly dropped to the floor beside him.

  “Now start petting him like you’re playing a little rough. When he seems happy I’ll get in on the action with you.”

  Made sense, Kelly thought, but she never in her life would have imagined that she’d have to get her K-9’s permission to make love. “Let me pull out his tennis ball, too. You can toss that for him a few times when he seems to be mellowing. That’s his signal for playtime.”

  Al smiled. “He’s not exactly unmellow right now. Just unsure.”

  She had several tennis balls in her tote, but brought out only one. She made a big ceremony of giving it to Al. Bugle was instantly engaged.

  “Okay, big boy,” she said, using both her hands to scratch around his neck, then playfully push him side to side. It took a minute or two, but soon he adopted the play posture, lowering his front legs until he rested on them. A happy woof escaped him.

  She moved in for some more easy wrestling, and when Al joined her, Bugle didn’t object. Soon he was bounding around the room and coming back to them both to nudge at them with his nose. Then Al threw the tennis ball.

  And Bugle fell in love.

  Kelly was laughing aloud at her dog’s antics, and Al grinned from ear to ear. Bugle ran back with the ball and dropped it on Al. One more toss and he brought it back to give it to Kelly to throw. The bond was happening.

  Eventually, Kelly fell back against the sofa, laughing, worn out from dog wrestling and ball tossing, as well as a long workday. She wasn’t totally worn out by any means, but Bugle and Al had managed to ease her emotional turmoil.

  Bugle could probably have kept at it for a long while, but he sensed the humans were done, so he returned to gnawing his rawhide as if it were all that existed on the planet.

  Kelly looked over at Al and enjoyed the sight of him sprawled on his back on the floor. He seemed so relaxed now, the kind of relaxation she’d seen in him before only when he was helping animals. He’d reached his place of serenity.

  His position also revealed his body in a way she’d never really noticed before. Oh, she’d always known he had a great build, but as he rested there, she could see how deep and powerful his chest was, how broad his shoulders and how incredibly flat his belly. Narrow hips, long legs with thigh muscles that showed even through his jeans...

  He was a man in prime condition. Her heart fluttered, and the heat he’d ignited in her renewed. Every cell in her body quivered with anticipation. If only he would roll over, reach for her, touch her in places no one touched her. She lost her breath just thinking about it. His hands on her breasts, between her legs.

  Oh, man, the bug had bit badly. She’d locked away her womanly impulses for so long, acutely aware that she was trying to make her way in a man’s world. In Fort Lauderdale, in Laramie, there’d been plenty of guys ready to remind her that she was “just a woman.” There hadn’t been any of that here in Conard County, maybe because they’d long had female deputies, and two of them were closely related to one of their most prominent, Deputy Micah Parish. She was sure nobody wanted to ever get on Micah’s bad side.

  But Sarah Ironheart and Connie Parish were both related to him through marriage, one to his brother, one to his son. Nope, they were accepted, all right, and that acceptance seemed to have extended to her and the few other women on the force. Connie hadn’t always been a deputy, she recalled, but after Ethan joined the department, so had she. Then Ethan had left to help Micah with his ranch and Connie had remained.

  Micah, she sometimes felt, was easing his way out of the department, working fewer hours, spending more time at home with Faith and their family. But with Micah, it was hard to be sure of anything.

  And why was she thinking of him and his family, anyway? He was a solid man, an excellent deputy, and as far as she could tell blessed with both a deep spirituality and strong compassion.

  None of that had anything to do with right now except that she was trying to divert herself before she did something incredibly forward, like jump Al’s bones.

  Her cheeks grew hot as she remembered saying that out loud, but she’d said it, and she’d meant it. And he’d called her wildly beautiful. Wow. That compliment reached all the way to her very core. Never once in her life had she ever felt that way about herself, nor had anyone ever told her that. But Al had, lifting her self-image in a new way.

  Her thoughts were starting to drift to the frigid night outside, and the missing girls. One maybe dead, but what about the others? She couldn’t know. No one could. All they could do was hope and restart the search in the morning.

  In the meantime, Al was right, she shouldn’t dig herself into that hole. Right now it could do no good except ruin this entire night.

  Al seemed to be watching the patterns the firelight and his Christmas tree made on the ceiling. The logs dulled the glow quite a bit but didn’t entirely erase the dancing color. It all looked so warm.

  And he looked so inviting.

  Hardly aware of what she was doing, she pushed away from the couch and crawled across the floor toward him. She felt Bugle’s eyes on her, then heard him resume his gnawing.

  Al spoke. “If you’re about to do what I think you’re about to do, should we let the dog take a walk, first? He’s already proved he has a talent for timely interruption.”

  He wasn’t looking at her, but she could see the corners of his firm mouth twitch. In spite of the tension and excitement that filled her, she had to laugh. She loved that he could make her laugh.

  “Probably,” she answered, hearing the huskiness in her own voice.

  To her surprise, he reached out and tugged her gently until she fell on his chest, then arranged her so she lay squarely on top of him. “I want you,” he said boldly. “But the damn dog...”

  Then he kissed her so hard and so deeply she felt as if he took possession of her very soul. Soon the niggling needs that had been tempting her with excited anticipation had become a wildfire of hunger.

  “The dog,” he said, tearing his mouth from hers. “Damn, do you feel go
od.”

  Then he rolled her gently to the side and rose to his feet in one smooth movement. “Bugle, walk.”

  Kelly tried to clear her throat and brain. “Business,” she said.

  Bugle at once dropped his rawhide bone and headed for the door where Al awaited him. A moment later he darted out into the frigid night.

  “I bet he doesn’t take long,” Al remarked. “I think we’ve lost another ten or fifteen degrees. Must be on their way to Texas.”

  A thought that another time might have made her laugh, but right now impatience was riding her like a goad. If one more thing kept her from discovering what sex with Al was like, she might groan in frustration. She was hardly able to think of anything else at all. Unfortunately, he’d been right about the dog.

  A few minutes later, a bark alerted them. Al opened the door and Bugle trotted in, a few snowflakes dotting his coat like diamonds. Then something else followed him at top speed.

  “Regis?” Al said, disbelieving. “What the—”

  Kelly sat up instantly. A gray squirrel had darted across the floor, then turned around and set himself up in the tiny Christmas tree.

  It was too much. Bugle looked befuzzled, Al looked astonished and there was a gray squirrel sitting in an artificial tree amid the fiber-optic lighting.

  Kelly started to laugh. Maybe it was hysterical laughter, but it felt damn good, and she wound up leaning against the couch and holding her sides. “Regis? What?”

  “Exactly. What?” Al squatted and studied this new conundrum. “You didn’t really want to go to bed with me tonight, did you?”

  “I did.”

  “Well, we seem to have a whole bunch of busybodies here.”

  “Bugle will behave.”

  “I’m sure,” Al retorted. “But Regis? I may have hand-raised him when he was orphaned last spring, but he’s never been what I would call trained.”

  “So he doesn’t have a family?”

  “How would I know? He’s been pretty much living as a free squirrel since I was able to release him last spring, but whether he hooked up with other squirrels, or had a family of his own, I have no idea. He just shows up from time to time, like he wants to visit.”