The Adventures of the FancyCrazyHydrants - The Mission

by Baltazar Ray

  The small hydrant just sat there motionless, staring into space as if daydreaming. “You are right, it is a magical evening. But who am I then? And what are we doing here?” Pluggo said.

  Suddenly, there was this howling wind.

  “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  “HELLO THERE, YOUNG FELLOWS!” A voice thundered out of nowhere. Startled, the big green hydrant ran back to the little one and sought cover.

  “HELLO!” said the voice again. “DON’T BE AFRAID!”

  The voice was loud and powerful but it was also gentle. The voice was coming from the sky in this magical evening.

  “I WANT YOU TO ENJOY AND EXPERIENCE LIFE,” the voice said. The two hydrants sat motionless, attentive, but fearful, their eyes peering from side to side.

  “Err… who are you?” asked the big green hydrant.

  “NEVER MIND WHO I AM! I AM WHAT YOU SEE UP HERE!” the voice thundered.

  The two hydrants stood staring at the sky, wide-eyed.

  “YOU, BIG ONE, I SHALL NAME YOU HYDRA, AND YOU LITTLE ONE, I SHALL NAME YOU PLUGGO. YOU TWO SHALL HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN AND YOU WILL HAVE POWER BESTOWED UPON YOU. GO OUT AND MINGLE WITH THE OTHERS. I WILL BE WATCHING YOU FROM TIME TO TIME…”

  The voice started to fade when suddenly another gust of wind whizzed by . . .

  “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  The place became eerily quiet. The two hydrants didn't know what to do. Hydra and Pluggo wondered if the voice was still around, but they heard nothing. The voice had been powerful, and now, without it, Hydra and Pluggo felt alone and abandoned. Although, the voice was only there for a short time, it made them feel good. And remembering what the voice said, “I WILL BE WATCHING YOU FROM TIME TO TIME,” made them feel more secure. And power? Did the voice mention power? Being alive is power enough, Hydra thought.

  “Are you okay… err, Pluggo?” Hydra asked.

  Pluggo stood up, looking bewildered and said, “C’mon, let’s go.”

  Hydra fell in step with Pluggo as the two of them walked along the grassy field.

  “Hey, check that out—the Big Dipper!” Hydra yelled, excited.

  “Wow! That’s the Big Dipper? It’s huge!”

  “Let’s find the Little Dipper!”

  It dawned on Hydra that their intelligence was growing. And power? What power?

  CHAPTER 3

  The Power

  HYDRA AND PLUGGO were on their way to nowhere land. They had just been given life and enjoying everything around them. The night was still young and the moon and stars were as bright as could be. Their newfound intelligence was still emerging as they noticed and talked about the things around them.

  “Hey, Hydra, how do you feel?" Pluggo asked.

  “I’m fine, I guess. If only I could be a little slimmer than I am right now.”

  “You look fine. What’s wrong?”

  “Well, I’m big and burly and I can’t walk fast enough.”

  “Remember what the voice said?—that we have power?"

  “Yeah! You’re right. I wonder what that power could be?”

  This gave Hydra a renewed awareness. He moved swiftly ahead of Pluggo and, for some reason, began to glide.

  “Whoa! Did you see that? I can glide like I’m on a roller skate!” Hydra said, looking down at his 'feet.' He found out that he had retractable wheels like in-line skates that come out by sheer will. He could walk or glide whenever he wants to.

  * *

  “Do that again!” Pluggo screamed, “I saw it but I’m not sure that I believe it.”

  This time, Hydra held his breath and forged towards Pluggo at full speed—like he was going to tackle him. Pluggo, scared of the collision, unexpectedly flew up to the sky as a burst of water shot out from his base.

  “KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  “Whoa! What’s happening here?” Pluggo screamed, flailing about. As he started coming down, he forced a burst of water from his base, which cushioned his fall like a rocket would for a small spaceship.

  “Wow! Did you see that? Talking about power! We can glide and jump and practically fly! What else can we do?” Pluggo exclaimed.

  “Sorry, I almost hit you. Did you really fly?” Hydra asked.

  As Pluggo was approaching, Hydra playfully pointed his nozzle at him and let out a gush of water, forcing Pluggo to roll down the field.

  “KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  “Hey, stop that!” Pluggo stood up and brought his nozzles out and tried to do the same—but nothing came out. He tried again, his eyes and teeth clenched…

  “UMMMMMMMMMPHH!”

  But still, nothing came out.

  Hydra couldn't help but laugh; Pluggo’s face had turned to beet red.

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Hydra was hysterical.

  “UMMMMMPHH!” Pluggo took a deep breath again and held it, turning even redder. And suddenly…

  “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  A gush of water burst out of his base again, hurling him into the night sky, twice as high as before. Pluggo spun out of control, his vision marred by the speed of the spin. But soon, he regained his balance and cushioned his fall.

  “Whew! That was scary,” Pluggo said in a shaky voice.

  Hydra had been worried that Pluggo might have gotten hurt. This power could help or hurt us if we are not careful.

  To some extent Hydra already understood the power bestowed upon them. He and Pluggo could glide perfectly but only Hydra could gush out water from the nozzle and Pluggo could not. Pluggo could fly upward with a burst of water from his base, while Hydra couldn’t. And that's what Hydra thought.

  “I wonder what other power is in store for us,” Hydra said. Then he felt the Voice telling him—

  “THAT’S FOR YOU TO DISCOVER.”

  Hydra looked around waiting for the voice. He was convinced he heard it.

  “C’mon Pluggo, let’s go,” Hydra said walking down the field. Pluggo followed.

  * *

  CHAPTER 4

  Grunt

  * *

  DAYBREAK FOUND THE TWO hydrants standing in the middle of a field—tired from the night’s events. Hydra and Pluggo preferred that they stand there, rather than lie down and be picked up by the WD men again.

  A rooster started to crow.

  “COCK-KA-DOODLE-DOOO!”

  And machinery started to hum.

  “Hmm-CHUG-CHUG-CHUG-CHUG!”

  Slowly, the ritual noise of a farming community began to emerge.

  It was the beginning of a new day. Hydra opened his eyes and looked up, again, bewildered because the sky was now different. The sky was deep blue with sprawls of white cotton clouds all around. It was so bright that it was blinding and hurtful that Hydra squinted his eyes.

  “WOW!” Hydra exclaimed. “Look Pluggo! It’s daytime!" Hydra still squinting his eyes and could barely see, started walking. "C’mon, let’s get going,” he said as he nudged Pluggo.

  Pluggo, still half-asleep dragged himself and followed Hydra.

  “Wait for me,” Pluggo groaned, barely awake.

  The two fire hydrants approached the end of the field when they heard a faint barking.

  “Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!”

  “Quick, let’s hide in there!” said Hydra, running towards an abandoned rusted-out car. The dog’s barking was becoming louder. “Quick!” Hydra yelled, as the two hydrants dropped to the ground and rolled under the car. Hydra, with his robust size, struggled to fit underneath. The car made a loud squeaking noise as he pushed it up to get underneath. He was stuck. But the quick thinking Pluggo helped push the car upward and let Hydra in. The dog’s annoying barking was getting closer.

  “WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! GRRRRRR! WOOF! WOOF!”

  The two hydrants were worried as they hid quietly under the car.

  “What do we do now?” Pluggo asked.

  “Don’t worry, let me do the talking.”

  “WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! GRRRRRR!” the dog barked, pushing his nose under the car.

  “Hey d
oggie!” Hydra yelled.

  “WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! GRRRRRR!”

  “Hey, doggie, can we talk?” Hydra yelled again.

  The dog shut up, a bit puzzled. “WOOF! Who are you?”

  “Stop barking, please, you’re embarrassing us,” Hydra said.

  “Yeah, we’re friends not foes,” Pluggo added.

  “Well, I don’t know you. And since this is my boss’s field, you are trespassing.” The dog's voice was harsh and firm; showing the two hydrants that he runs the place.

  “Sorry, we were just passing by,” Hydra said. He noticed the dog's tail wagging wildly.

  “Well, come out here and let me get a better look at you two. I promise I won’t bark anymore. And besides, you know how we dogs love to bark, WOOF! WOOF! Oops!"

  Hydra and Pluggo were relieved as they rolled out from under the car. The dog, seeing the two hydrants jumped out of excitement and immediately began shaking and wagging his tail. He ran up to Hydra, sniffed him, and then raised his rear leg.

  “HEY, STOP THAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Hydra screamed, horrified.

  “Oops! What am I doing? Goodness, gracious! Aren’t I supposed to do this every time I see you?” the dog asked.

  “NO, YOU AREN’T!” Hydra yelled in disgust.

  Pluggo started laughing.

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha! So that’s why you smell so bad! Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Pluggo said, rolling on the ground in a fit of laughter.

  “Well, that’s the point. Now that we’re talking, you can’t do this any more. I’m not your toilet and this has to stop!” Hydra cried.

  “I’m sorry. I thought we had a sort of mutual agreement. I mean, we have been doing this for a long time, perhaps since fire hydrants were invented,” said the dog.

  “Well, I guess I cannot stop you dogs from doing what you do. But now that I’m talking and looking at you, have the decency to stop. Control yourself!” Hydra said.

  “Okay! Okay! Relax! I’m just being a dog. By the way, my name is Grunt. My name used to be Skip, then Hop, now I’m Grunt. I hate the name. My boss’s kids couldn’t decide what name to give me, but I think they all went for Grunt.”

  “Hmm… I see you’re a mutt,” Pluggo said, snickering.

  “Hey, hey, hey! I’m a full-blooded Labrador! Can’t you see? Please don’t call me a mutt. Don’t you like my velvety chocolate fur?”

  “That’s chocolate?” Pluggo asked. “Uh, okay, sorry about that. So you’re a farm dog? How is it living in a farm?”

  “This place is great! At night, the sky is adorned with bright sparkling stars, and in the daytime I have an entire field to run and romp around—and it’s all mine. You can even smell the freshness in the air.” Grunt closed his eyes, took a deep breath, apparently very proud of his boss’s farm.

  “Hmm… I can only smell Hydra!” Pluggo said, snickering mischievously—Hydra just glared at him.

  “Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Grunt. We’re on our way to the city. Could you tell us the shortest way to get there?” Hydra asked, still glaring at Pluggo, daring him to make more wisecracks.

  The friendly dog instinctively arched his back, turned his nose in one direction and froze.

  “Oookey! I didn’t know that you’re also a Pointer? Hmm, I see… just show us the way, okay?” Hydra said, sarcastically.

  “Going so soon? You just got here! Don’t you want to meet the other guys, Brooto the Rooster and his hens, as well as the rabbits and the goats?”

  “Nope, not this time, Grunt. We’re on our way to a mission. We’re off to the city and we have to hurry up so we won’t be late. Let’s go,” Hydra insisted while Pluggo stared with a puzzled look.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll come and visit you some day. What do you call this place?” Hydra asked.

  “I don’t know. It starts with ‘M’ but I couldn’t figure out how to say it. MMMMM-WOOF! Hmm… never mind!” Grunt said.

  “Oh, okay. We’ll just call it Grunt’s Farm for now,” Pluggo added.

  “The city is not far from here. We drive there once in a while. Well… only when my boss takes me along. He drives his pickup truck and rolls down the window so I can put out my head. It’s really fun! I really like the wind blowing on my face, and I get a real thrill seeing all the surprised look from the people when they see me sitting in the front seat. I wish I could drive some day and really surprise them.”

  It was obvious that Grunt was enjoying his new company and didn’t want to see them go.

  “Do you see that road? That road will lead you to Guerlin City. Just be careful as the traffic gets heavy as you get closer to the city,” Grunt said.

  “Take care, Grunt!” Hydra yelled as he half-glided past Pluggo. Later, Grunt would express to the other animals his embarrassment about how he tried to pee on Hydra. He had never seen such fancy and crazy hydrants before. He would remark to them that after all, he was just being a dog.

  “Lucky dog, he’s got his own field, the stars—the works! We’ll visit him again, huh, Hydra?” Pluggo asked. “Where are we going anyway? And what mission are you talking about?”

  “I don’t know, Pluggo. It just came out of my mouth,” Hydra replied.

  CHAPTER 5

  Crooton

  “HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!"

  "HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!”

  Hydra and Pluggo found themselves surrounded by large trucks and trailers, like gigantic monsters, all making frightful noises. There were all kinds of different noises—train whistles, car horns, blaring radios, wailing sirens, humming machines—you name it, all mixed together. This was a deafening place, so different from the tranquil world of Grunt's Farm where peace and quiet rule. You can feel the pulsating energy around, like everyone was alive and roaring to go.

  Hydra and Pluggo kept walking along the side of the road.

  “Hey, Hydra, you want to see something?”

  “Yeah, what?”

  Pluggo flopped down on the grass, sucked in his protru-ding nozzles and rolled down the field at great speed.

  “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”

  “Huh! I think I can do that, too!” Hydra exclaimed. He lay down like Pluggo and started to roll. But he went tumbling and bouncing off the ground as he rolled. He had way too big nozzles to roll smoothly.

  "KA-BOG! KA-BOG! KA-BOG!"

  Disgusted, he got up and took off in a gliding position trying to catch Pluggo.

  The hydrants walked and glided and then walked some more. Pluggo got bored and started tinkering inside his body.

  “UUMMPHH!” Pluggo struggled inside of him.

  “What’s the matter, Pluggo?” Hydra asked with a puzzled look.

  “I don’t know, there is something inside of me,” Pluggo said, motioning his head towards one of his nozzles.

  “BLONK! BLONK!”

  A pair of arms and claws came out through his nozzles.

  “Whoa! What do you know? Surprise, surprise! Check this out, Hydra!” Pluggo waved his newfound arms and claws.

  “Wow! You’ve got arms and claws. It’s a weird looking claw, too. It’s like… a lobster’s claw!” Hydra said. “Hmm… let me try mine.”

  “UUMMPHH! BLONK! BLONK! BLONK!” Several arms and claws came out of Hydra’s nozzles.

  “Oh my! I'm like those gods with several arms and hands! Let me pull them back in.

  "BLONK! BLONK! BLONK!"

  "Next time I’ll just put out a single pair,” Hydra said, embarrassed. Pluggo stood watching, obviously amused.

  * *

  They continued on their way when out of nowhere, they heard a strange sound—

  “PSSST! PSSST!”

  “Huh? What is that?” Hydra asked.

  “It sounds like a frog in distress. I don't even remember it raining last night," Pluggo replied.

  “Well, I know a frog when I hear one.

  “PSSST! PSSST!”

  “There it goes again.”

  The hydrants continued to look for the source of the sound. They noticed a movement behind a lamp
post—something that was wrapped in white cloth and black plastic sheet. They approached the figure cautiously.

  “Hey, man!”

  Hydra and Pluggo stepped back, their eyes wide.

  “Who are you?” Pluggo asked.

  “My name is Crooton. Boy! Am I glad to see you guys. You see, I'm kinda stuck here. The WDs are currently fixing me. A truck almost hit me but it missed me by a few inches, so I was spared. I thought maybe I could get my freedom like you two. But hey, why do want our freedom, right? We’re supposed to stay put and help firemen put out fires, remember?” Crooton said, excited to have company.

  Hydra and Pluggo stared at the talking marvel.

  “You can talk! I thought we were the only kind who could talk,” Hydra said.

  “Oh yes, most hydrants can talk. We hydrants can talk to each other, if we we're only clustered together, we'd be talking all the time. It just gets lonely sometimes to be standing alone in a corner with no one to talk to. But now and then, you see people opening our nozzles to relieve pressure from the main pipes during a downpour or simply to give the kids something to play with during the sizzling summer,” Crooton babbled excitedly. He must have been standing there for a long time with no one to talk to.

  Hydra perked up when he heard 'fire' and 'firemen.' Some action, he thought. He imagined kids playing around him, dancing, jumping, and enjoying the spraying water and relieving themselves from the hot scorching sun. You could see the gleam in his eyes. Pluggo seemed to be listening in awe.

  “We’ll, we’re on our way to the city. Is there anything we can do for you?” Hydra asked.

  “Leaving so soon? You just got here,” Crooton whined.

  “We’re on our way to accomplish a mission and we can’t be delayed,” Hydra replied. Pluggo, looked at Hydra again with a puzzled look.

  “When will I see you again, guys? I hope it will be soon. Be careful when you get to the city. There are so many things happening out there,” Crooton said, looking sullen. With his rags and plastic wrap, he looked like an old Ninja warrior. Hydra wouldn’t mind taking him along to the city but he knew that he and Pluggo did not have anywhere near their combined power to uproot him from where he was.

  “Be careful of Pete and Roth. They’re two notorious dogs that roam the streets of the city. I know they can’t do anything to you physically but they’re notoriously intimidating and they have seriously bitten some people. I still don’t know why people keep them as pets and then neglect them—turning them into monsters,” Crooton lamented.