A Pasty In A Pear Tree

by Daphne Neville

  “And you say he’s confessed?” Hetty felt downcast.

  “Yes, he’s confessed.”

  “What a terrible waste of two lives,” said Lottie.

  “Two?” Hetty queried.

  “Yes, Simeon of course and now Nick because his life isn’t going to be much now, is it? And it’s certainly true that crime doesn’t pay.”

  No-one spoke for a minute or two while they all digested information received.

  “By the way, it was Sid who tipped the police off about Nick,” said Bernie, finding the quiet unnerving, “he came across an article about the robbery in an old copy of a French newspaper which he’d picked up back in the summer when he was over in France for the football. He told me that when he read the article he recalled you, Hetty, saying that your dress was a Mimi Monfils and that brand was amongst the ones listed in the paper as stolen, so Sid put two and two together and rang the police.”

  “That makes sense,” said Tommy, “but I wonder how Simeon knew that the dresses were nicked. I mean, I wouldn’t have thought he’d have been into fashion and stuff like that.”

  “Well, that’s simple,” said Bernie, glancing at the door of the pub through which Aimée Dupont had just entered, “You see, Mimi Monfils is Aimée Dupont and so he was familiar with the dress label and knew a batch had been stolen back in the summer.”

  Hetty’s mouth gaped open. “Aimée is Mimi!” she screeched.

  “Yes,” said Bernie, “apparently Monfils was her maiden name and her younger sister called her Mimi when they were kids. Sort of makes sense, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes, goodness me,” said Hetty, taking a large swig of wine, “no wonder Aimée gave me a funny look when she saw me wearing one of her frocks. She obviously recognised it.”

  “But was probably too stressed to really care where you got it from,” said Lottie.

  Hetty shook her head. “I can’t believe that I’m in the possession of stolen goods. I’ll never be able to wear that dress again which is such a shame because I really like it.”

  “Don’t be silly,” said Tommy, “it looked great on you and you bought it in good faith.”

  “But it had been nicked,” Hetty exclaimed.

  “And you bought it from Nick,” chuckled Bernie, “The chap certainly lived up to his name.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “I’ve just seen Tommy walking by with Kitty,” said Lottie, on Christmas Eve morning as she opened door number twenty-four on the Advent calendar, “That’s the second time I’ve seen them together over the last couple of days. They seem very chummy all of a sudden.”

  Hetty looked up from the floor where she knelt sweeping up pine needles from beneath the Christmas tree. “Funny you should say that because I saw them laughing and chatting in the pub last night and Kitty was drinking Guinness.”

  “Guinness,” said Lottie, “surely not by the pint?”

  Hetty nodded. “Yes, by the pint. I meant to say something to you last night but got distracted for some reason or other. But then that’s hardly surprising because there’s been so much happening lately.”

  Lottie shrugged her shoulders. “There certainly has, and as regards, Kitty and Tommy, I suppose they’ve known each other for donkey’s years.”

  Hetty shook her head. “No, if you remember, back in the summer either Daisy or Maisie told us that Tommy has only been in the village for a year or eighteen months or something like that. Before that he lived at Lamorna. At least I think it was Lamorna. It was definitely West Cornwall anyway.”

  Because neither had any reason to leave Pentrillick with any urgency, Aimée and Misty both agreed to stay on for the Christmas weekend to keep each other company. For in a funny sort of way, because both had married the same man, they felt as though they were related, even though Simeon’s marriage to Misty was illegal.

  “We must put all the bad behind us,” said Aimée, as they sat together for breakfast at the hotel, “What is done cannot be undone and we must look to the future. Tonight, I suggest we go to the Crown and Anchor and celebrate Christmas with the locals who have been very good to both of us.” She brushed a tear from her eye, “In a funny sort of way I think it’s what Simeon would have wanted and he must have loved you, Misty.”

  The Crown and Anchor was very busy on Christmas Eve. For as well as it being Christmas and a time when many had several days off work there was also much to discuss and discover about the events which had dominated village gossip throughout much of December.

  Many of the Wonderland’s workforce were in the pub too for the attraction was to be closed on Christmas Day.

  “Are you two staying here for Christmas then?” Shelley asked Aimée and Misty as they sat near to the fire in the pub drinking champagne.

  Misty nodded. “Yes, we are and I think it’s going to be rather special yet unusual at the same time. I mean, if you’d told me two months ago that I’d be spending Christmas in Cornwall with someone who would be my husband’s real wife, then I should have thought you crazy.”

  Aimée smiled. “And the same goes for me.”

  “So will you be having Christmas dinner at the hotel?” Ginger asked.

  Misty shook her head. “I’m afraid not. It’s strictly a bookings only event as they don’t normally do lunches and sadly it’s been fully booked since September. Anna, who works on the reception desk said that she’ll see what they can do but I don’t hold out much hope unless someone cancels at the last minute due to illness or something like that.”

  “Then you must come to us,” said Shelley, her voice raised excitedly. “We bought a frozen turkey a while back and took it out of the freezer this morning. Of course when we bought it we were expecting Finn and Woody to be with us too but that’s obviously not to be and so there’s far more than we’ll ever be able to eat. Not only that, we’d love you to join us.”

  Misty looked at Aimée who nodded. “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yes,” squeaked Shelley and Ginger in unison.

  “Then we’d love to join you,” said Misty.

  “I can think of nothing I’d like more,” Aimée agreed.

  “What about Sid?” Misty asked, glancing in the direction of the psychic who was sitting in the corner eating ham, egg and chips. “Where will he be tomorrow? Surely not all alone in his caravan with no-one for company but his gnomes.”

  “I believe he’s been invited to dinner with Father Christmas and his wife,” said Shelley.

  Misty scowled. “Are you pulling my leg?”

  “She means Bernie,” said Ginger, “he plays the part of old Santa at Wonderland and very authentic he looks too.”

  Christmas Day dawned grey but at least it was dry. After they arose, Hetty and Lottie prepared the vegetables for dinner and put the turkey into the oven, they then changed their clothes in order to go to church for the morning service which was at a more leisurely time of eleven rather than the usual nine o’clock.

  They decided not to open their presents before they went but instead to save their small pile for after dinner so they could open them along with Kitty and Tommy for whom they had bought modest gifts.

  The church bells rang out loud and clear as they walked down Long Lane and into the village where everyone they met, including strangers, greeted them with smiles which seemed only to occur at Christmas. The service was well attended, the Liddicott-Treens were amongst the congregation and the atmosphere was thick with joy as everyone heartily sang the carols so well known and loved. After the service, feeling full of Christmas cheer, Hetty and Lottie went to the Crown and Anchor for a quick drink. To their surprise Kitty, who had played the organ in church, arrived shortly after with Tommy who had also been at the service and was looking very smart.

  “My Sunday best, as our mother would have said,” chuckled Tommy when Hetty complimented him on his attire.

  “What time shall we arrive for dinner?” Kitty asked, as Tommy handed her a small glass of wine.

  “We were think
ing of eating around two,” said Lottie, “but come round whenever you’re ready. We’ve only popped in here for a quick drink so shall be leaving soon.”

  “I shan’t be staying here long either,” said Kitty, “How about you, Tom?”

  “I’ll probably stay till Ashley and Alison chuck me out but that won’t be late as they ring last orders at ten to one and like everyone gone by a quarter past. I need to pop home first to collect a few things too but don’t worry I’ll be there well before you dish up.”

  Kitty arrived at half past one with a carrier bag of presents which she placed under the Christmas tree and much to the delight of the ladies, Tommy was there soon after also with a bag of gifts which he placed alongside the others.

  They ate in the dining room which they barely used. To brighten it up, Lottie had lit a small fire and had made artistic decorations for the table. After their meal, the ladies washed up. Tommy offered to help too but they insisted he sit down in the sitting room where they’d bring him a cup of tea once the chore was finished.

  “Right, time for presents,” said Lottie, as she sat down on the floor beside the tree so that she could distribute them.

  No-one opened their presents until all were handed out and Lottie was back seated in her favourite armchair.

  Kitty loved the earrings given to her by Hetty and Lottie and promptly removed the pearl ones she usually wore and replaced them with her gift. Tommy likewise was impressed by the fleece top he received and promised he would wear it when he went to the Crown and Anchor on Boxing Day. Lottie received a silk scarf from Kitty and a box of chocolates from Tommy. Hetty received a gift box of various nail varnishes from Kitty and to her amusement a book on dieting from Tommy.

  “I hope I’ve not offended you,” said Tommy, looking a little sheepish, “it seemed a good idea when I bought it but I don’t want to get in your bad books.”

  Hetty shook her head. “I’m not at all offended, Tommy because I always keep my word. I said losing a stone will be my New Year’s resolution if Sid’s predictions came true and so lose a stone I shall.”

  “You’re a good sport then,” said Tommy, “because everyone knows Sid said it for a laugh.”

  “There’s no doubt about that,” Lottie agreed, “and I think if the truth be known Sid can no more see into the future than the rest of us, but he’s been good fun and I shall miss him very much when he’s gone.”

  Inside Number Four Honeysuckle Close, Bernie the Boatman sat beside an open fire with his wife, Veronica and Psychic Sid, all full after a very large lunch.

  “What’ll you do, Sid, after Wonderland closes?” Bernie asked.

  Sid sighed. “I don’t really know. The fair folks are all off to Wales in the New Year but I’m not sure whether to go with them or not.”

  “Why’s that?” Veronica asked.

  Sid sighed. “I suppose I’m getting a bit tired of travelling around and to be honest I’ve really enjoyed my stay here even if my fortune telling has got me into a bit of bother here and there.”

  “You could always stay then,” said Bernie, “you seem to be footloose and fancy free so there’s nothing to stop you putting down roots here.”

  “No, but what would I do? I mean, I wouldn’t be able to make a living telling fortunes especially now everyone knows I’m rubbish.”

  “So have you always been a fortune teller?” Veronica asked.

  Sid chuckled. “No, before that I was a plumber. I did a good job too. I gave it up though when bending became too much of an effort. I mean, look at the size of my stomach.”

  “So are you a qualified plumber?” Bernie asked.

  “Oh yeah, got all the right bits of paper and so forth.”

  “Then stay for heaven’s sake. Plumbers are always in demand and difficult to get hold of. You could make a very good living here.”

  “But what about this?” he said, wobbling the flab.

  Bernie chuckled. “Hetty Tonkins is going on a diet in the New Year and you could do the same. She’s going to lose a stone but I reckon you’d need to lose two. We could make a big thing of it and weigh you both in the pub on a selected evening. Be something to look forward too during the winter months. We could even sponsor you both and raise money for a good cause.”

  “Excellent idea,” said Veronica.

  “I can see it all now,” said Bernie, “and I can hear the clapping when you’ve both reached your goals.”

  “But…what…where?”

  “And you can put your caravan in our driveway,” said Veronica, as though reading his mind, “until you get sorted out.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  On Boxing Day morning, Tommy arrived at Primrose Cottage with a step ladder.

  “I bet you thought I’d forgotten about looking in your loft, hadn’t you?”

  “Well, the thought had crossed my mind,” said Hetty, as she closed the front door after he had entered into the hallway, “but there’s no rush with most places being closed for Christmas and the New Year.”

  “Would you like a coffee and a slice of Christmas cake before or after you’ve taken a look?” Lottie asked.

  “After, would suit me best. Once I’ve had a piece of that lovely cake I won’t want to move.”

  With the ladder in place on the landing, Tommy pushed up the hatch and climbed into the attic. “Hmm,” he said, “it certainly is a good size and surprisingly clean. Come on up and have a look. The floor’s boarded so you’ll both be perfectly safe.”

  The sisters, keen to see for themselves did as he suggested.

  “And plenty of headroom,” said Hetty, touching a rafter, “I reckon there’s more than enough space for a couple of modest bedrooms, especially if we had dormer windows and probably even room for a loo and washbasin as well. What do you think, Tommy?”

  “Could be, but you’ll need room for stairs as well. I daresay a good architect could sort that out for you though with no problem at all.”

  “And do you know any good architects?” Lottie eagerly asked.

  “Actually I do. Patrick Mannering. He lives in the village and is a really nice bloke.”

  Hetty frowned. “Oh, I’ve not come across that name before. Does he go to the pub at all?”

  Tommy nodded. “Yes but not a lot. He’s a smart looking chap in his mid to late forties. Clean shaven, dark hair and wears glasses. His daughter is young Emma who was friendly with your grandchildren, back in the summer, Lottie.”

  “You mean Emma who goes to college and works in Chloe’s café during the summer holiday?”

  “That’s right, and currently she’s helping Chloe out in the café at the Wonderland.”

  “Brilliant,” said Lottie, rubbing her hands with glee, “please point him out to us next time we’re all in the pub and then if he’s willing to take on the work we can ask him about the procedure.”

  On Boxing Day evening, Aimée announced to patrons of the Crown and Anchor that she and Misty were leaving Pentrillick on Thursday for Paris to make arrangements for and to attend Simeon’s funeral at the beginning of the following week.

  “We shall miss you,” said Shelley, with sincerity. “We admire the spirit of both of you, and we should all take a lesson from the way you’ve behaved towards each other.”

  “I’ll second that,” said Kitty, “you’ve behaved impeccably.”

  “So what will you do then?” Ginger asked Misty. “I mean, will you return to London after the funeral?”

  “Eventually,” she replied, “but not until we’ve sorted things out.”

  “I’m taking Misty under my wing,” said Aimée, “after all she deserves to be taken care of. I intend for her to model some of the garments in my latest collection and then we are going into partnership. As Simeon’s legal wife I shall inherit his wealth but I want to share it with Misty.”

  Misty blushed and looked a little embarrassed. “Aimée already has a Mimi Monfils shop in Paris and we’re planning to open another one in London and if I feel capab
le, then I shall manage it. I’m really excited but apprehensive too.”

  “You’ll be fine,” said Hetty, “you’re as sharp as a needle.”

  “The Lord moves in mysterious ways,” said Lottie as she raised her glass. “Good luck to you both.”

  “Amen to that,” said Kitty.

  The Crown and Anchor was packed on New Year’s Eve and many of its patrons wore fancy dress as was the case every year. To see out 2016, the chosen theme was television and film personnel from the nineteen sixties.

  Many people chose to hire costumes from a shop in Penzance, the rest made use of the village charity shop amongst them Hetty and Lottie, who eventually with the help of Lottie’s sewing machine, transformed themselves into two of their favourite characters from the chosen era. Hetty as Hattie Jacques playing matron in the Carry On films and Lottie as Emma Peel in The Avengers. Initially, Lottie had been a little apprehensive about wearing a tight black leather cat suit which was actually synthetic, but Hetty insisted she looked fantastic in it and so Lottie agreed to wear it. Furthermore to achieve the right look she also agreed to have her hair dyed a dark shade of brown in dye which Hetty assured her would wash out after eight shampoos. Pleased with their results, Hetty took several pictures on her phone and then sent them to Lottie’s son, Bill, and Sandra his wife, along with every good wish for their happiness in the New Year during which they hoped the family might visit them for a holiday in Pentrillick once the loft was converted.

  When Hetty and Lottie arrived at the pub they were greeted by a vast selection of identifiable characters. Bernie the Boatman with the help of a little padding was Captain Pugwash. His wife, Veronica, was Hilda Ogden from Coronation Street. Tommy Thomas was Robin Hood and Kitty was Maid Marian. Behind the bar, Ashley and Alison were Bonnie and Clyde. Maisie and Daisy were Bill and Ben but their husbands refused to make fools of themselves. Psychic Sid was Friar Tuck and Shelley and Ginger were Cilla Black and Dusty Springfield, two of their parents’ favourite singers from the past.